If you’re feeling stuck in life, friend, please understand that this feeling shows up for many of us at some point.
As wonderful, exciting, and colorful as this life is, there are times when we all feel like we’re playing a never-ending game of Monopoly. We keep landing on Apathy Avenue, paying rent to the owner called Life as we see our soul (a.k.a. Monopoly money) slowly dwindling.
The good thing is, you don’t need to stay there. As you step out of that space, you start to understand the why, when, and what to do with the feeling of “stuck” so you can go on to create the life you love.
Why you feel stuck in life
“Feeling stuck” is a fairly broad term. But here, it means to feel unmotivated and in a state of apathy.
“Do you know that a third of Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives right now?” asks Mel Robbins in her TEDx Talk aptly titled, “How to stop screwing yourself over.” That was in 2011.
In more recent times, that number, according to Gallup, is 47%. That’s almost half of U.S. adults feeling like life is just meh.
Jon Butcher, the creator of Lifebook, knows this feeling very well. In his Mindvalley program (also called Lifebook), he shares, “I was working 16-hour workdays, and I spent years at that pace, burning the candle at both ends. It was exciting, but it was intense and highly stressful, and eventually it just became overwhelming.”
He’s not the only one. A 2024 Grant Thornton survey found that 51% of workers felt burned out in the past year. Most of them linked their burnout to mental and emotional stress, and many linked it to long work hours.
Chances are, you might be feeling the same way. The days keep moving, the responsibilities keep stacking, and the sense of alignment starts to feel like a Monopoly property you never quite visit, even though your token sits right next to it.
What’s important is not only to be consciously aware of why you feel this way but also to be aware when the flags start to show up.
You are what you consistently do.
— Jon Butcher, trainer of Mindvalley’s Lifebook program
7 common behaviors and signs when feeling stuck in life
Once in a while, you land in Monopoly jail. That’s essentially life stagnation—it, like sh*t, happens.
Let’s go back to Jon. What did he do in his spiral? “I was self-medicating with alcohol, too busy to notice the danger signs, too busy to address my issues,” he shares.
And then, one day, he found himself in “complete overload with a debilitating anxiety disorder and total overwhelm and totally shut down.” All because he kept moving through life at “Go! Go! Go!” speed, he didn’t stop long enough to learn how to recover from burnout.
Don’t be like Jon. Notice your behaviors when feeling stuck in life. Here are a few:
- You circle the same thoughts without getting anywhere. The mind loops run quietly in the background and drain your energy.
- You browse job boards or new opportunities with a quick spark that fades fast. Nothing feels worth the effort, even though you want movement.
- You stay busy with tasks that look productive and never shift your life forward. Busy becomes a safe place to hide from the real decisions.
- You say yes to things that drain you because the alternative feels unclear. The easy choice wins before you ask what you actually want.
- You lean on routines that used to comfort you and now keep you stuck. Everything moves smoothly on the surface while your inner world stays paused.
- You revisit the same dreams without taking a step toward them. The idea excites you, but the follow-through feels out of reach.
- You feel disconnected from your own excitement. Moments that once energized you no longer do.
“You are what you consistently do,” Jon points out. So if you want to know how to overcome feeling stuck in life, you’re going to have to pay attention to the patterns you repeat and understand what they are trying to tell you.
The hidden root of stuckness
Feeling stuck rarely begins with a breakdown moment like Jon’s. It usually forms from the “brules” (meaning bullsh*t rules made up by society) that limit your growth and keep you from living in a way that actually makes you happy.
For example, if you’re Asian, you know that the career paths that are typically expected of you are to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. You keep going because somewhere along the way, you learned that approval equals success.
Vishen, the founder and CEO of Mindvalley, recalls his grandfather telling him at a young age that “if you want to be rich, you go into computers just like Bill Gates.” While it’s likely Grandfather Lakhiani’s intentions were good, what it did to Vishen, as he explains in his Be Extraordinary program, was change his behavior to get “really interested in science and engineering.”
That’s what conditioning does. You learn how to behave, how to succeed, and how to make other people comfortable, and those lessons settle into your mind until they feel normal.
Now, that’s okay to a certain degree. We all need manners, drive, and tact so we know how to show up in ways that keep life steady and relationships healthy.
But when the brules become your compass, you’ll likely fall into a rut like Jon and Vishen.
When the brules take over
You tell yourself you’re fine. And you ignore real conversations you know you need to have with yourself.
Such avoidance is blatantly obvious when it comes to work. So many of us don’t find our jobs inspiring or aligned with purpose, even though we feel satisfied with pay.
The reality is, when you do so, in work or in life, you sacrifice your personal values. You live under somebody else’s regime instead of using your Universe-given gift to contribute positively to society.
And this is a slippery slope to limiting beliefs. Even when you have these great ideas and impulses that could change your life, your mind shuts them down and convinces you that they or you aren’t worth it.
“I was lucky to get a realization early on to quit the job [at Microsoft] that was draining my soul and to learn to listen to my soul,” Vishen recounts. It took a step into self-mastery, but he ultimately got on the path he was “really meant to be on.”
So the question now becomes, will you?
How to stop feeling stuck in life—the no-nonsense way
Now the golden question remains: how do you get yourself unstuck?
Getting in touch with the habits that will most support your life vision is a massively powerful thing to do.
— Jon Butcher, trainer of Mindvalley’s Lifebook program
Googling some uplifting quotes may help, but it’s often not sustainable in the long run. Granted, you can also opt for therapy for feeling stuck in life.
But if you feel you’re not quite at that stage yet, here are three things you can do that can help.
1. Identify your limiting beliefs or emotions
For many of us, feeling stuck in life equates to feeling anxious. We feel the need to move or find distractions so we don’t have to deal with whatever is making us feel this way. But, like quicksand, the more you move, the faster you sink.
Jon’s debilitating anxiety made him question the things he knew to be true in life. With the help of his wife, Missy Butcher, he created a personal growth plan to break free from the rut. (That led them to creating Lifebook.)
“The first step in knowing what you want is knowing who you are,” says Missy. “You have to bring consciousness to yourself, to your own feelings, to your insights.”
So, sit with your emotions so you can find out the limiting beliefs that are causing you to feel stuck in the first place. You can try:
- Talking to someone
- Journaling
- Meditation
Oh yes, it will be incredibly uncomfortable, but there are no shortcuts to self-mastery. It’s a layer-by-layer process you have to get through.
“An extraordinary life is not easy—it’s not easily won, it’s not easily achieved. It’s a hero’s journey,” explain Missy and Jon. “Greatness requires great effort.”
2. Clarify your vision and align your goals to them
This point is always easier said than done.
The idea of living a life of joy, success, and abundance can be terrifying. But self-development calls for you to go easy on yourself with all the self-love you can muster up in the moment and with no judgment.
“Our one job on this planet, if we have any big cosmic job, is to literally do the best we can with what we’ve been given. And we’re made for it,” say the Butchers.
They suggest setting clearly defined goals for the 12 areas of life that are specific and measurable. By doing so, you’ll be able to gauge how close or far you are from reaching them.
You’ll also be able to identify what you want to accomplish specifically, who you’ll need in your life to achieve it, and establish any potential setbacks that may arise, as well as what you need to overcome them.
So, ask yourself:
- When you look at your life vision, are you asking enough of yourself, or are you playing small?
- Is this vision achievable, or are you asking too much of yourself?
- Are you willing to pay the price that this life vision will require?
- Will the achievement of your life vision (and the journey to get there) make you truly happy and truly fulfilled?
If you can answer “yes” to these questions, you’re on the right track to your ideal life.
(And if not, you may want to reflect on your goals and tweak them. Don’t fret, though; it’s not that you did it wrong. Sometimes, we’re so caught up setting life goals and moving towards them that we forget to assess them and see if they’re really right for us.)
If you want help getting started, Mindvalley’s Awaken the Soul deck gives you structured prompts that make reflection easier. Download it for free now.
3. Align your habits with your vision
“One step at a time” is how the saying goes. In terms of your life vision, it’s about the steps you’re taking right now.
“Getting in touch with the habits that will most support your life vision is a massively powerful thing to do,” says Jon.
What are the small daily behaviors that will support your life vision? We’re talking teeny-tiny here, like drinking a glass of water when you wake up, taking a few minutes to list down your gratitude, or even putting your phone in the other room before you go to bed.
Choose 12 simple habits, one for each area of life, to do every day. And if you really want to step up your game, find a habit tracker app that suits you. At the end of the month, you can see how well you’re doing as well as review which habits work for you and which do not.
Missy explains, “Whatever you do in the present moment is how your life ends up being.” And those things are what add up ultimately to your goals and life vision.
How to overcome feeling stuck in your career
While Jon knows what misalignment in life feels like, Vishen knows the feeling of being stuck in a career. After all, he worked at Microsoft with Bill Gates and still found himself dreading every day of it.
So when he talks about getting unstuck, especially at work, he knows exactly what he is talking about. Let’s get into three habits that helped him break out of that rut and can help you do the same.
Get more tips from Vishen:
1. Train your brain for peak work performance
“Guess what’s the most important muscle in your body?” asks Vishen. “It’s your brain.”
Unfortunately, so many of us neglect to take care of it. We trade sleep for revenge bedtime procrastination, nutrition for fast foods, and mental clarity for “I can do it all.”
But what good is a career when your brain is muddled?
The thing is, good mental health is linked to better job performance. Research shows it boosts your engagement and gives your brain the energy to produce better ideas instead of just trying to survive the day.
What does Vishen recommend? “You want to ensure that you’re getting good sleep, you want to take the right supplements, and you want to avoid things which are bad for your brain, such as alcohol.”
Whether you’re aware of it or not, your career relies on the strength of your brain. So give it what it needs.
2. Commit to the 2-hour learning rule
This idea, according to Vishen, comes from a book called The Four Disciplines of Execution. And one of those four disciplines is to allocate two hours a week to learning and growing.
This can be anything from…
- Taking an online course that sharpens a skill you want to improve,
- Reading books or articles that expand your knowledge in your field, or
- Attending a workshop, class, or training that helps you level up professionally.
Here’s the thing: when you stop feeding your mind, you stop expanding. Research even shows that employees who commit to continuous skill development are more likely to advance in their careers, stay relevant in changing fields, and avoid stagnation.
“We get stuck because we’re not actually growing our knowledge; we’re not actually learning,” Vishen points out. “No matter what field you’re in, you can learn to get better.”
3. Apply the 4% rule to your projects
Have you ever driven to work and not remembered how you got there? Or you’re reading monthly reports but realize you’ve read the same sentence three, four, five times?
In her TEDx Talk, Mel talks about your brain having two speeds: autopilot and emergency brake. “Guess which one your brain likes better?” she asks. Answer: autopilot.
“We spend so much time trying to push our life into some sort of stable routine,” she explains further. You wake up at the same time each day, eat the same breakfast, drive the same route to work, sit through the same meetings, and end the night with the same kind of media on repeat.
“No wonder you’re bored out of your mind! It’s the routine that’s killing you.” And that applies to feeling stuck in life and career.
One of Vishen’s suggestions on how to get unstuck is to “always ensure that the projects you’re working on are roughly 4% harder than what you think you’re capable of.”
Why 4%, you ask? The number comes from Stephen Kotler and the Flow Research Collective, who examined how much challenge the brain needs to enter a flow state without tipping into stress or overwhelm. Their findings show:
- When a task is around 4% harder than your current skill level,
- Your brain receives enough challenge to spark focus, curiosity, and engagement, and
- Yet not so much difficulty that it triggers anxiety or avoidance.
So, how can you tell you’re at 4%? Simply, it’s when your brain perks up and thinks, “Okay… this is new,” but you aren’t panicking or reaching for a distraction. Or, as Vishen points out, you’re “at just the right zone where the project is challenging enough where you can develop flow and you can grow.”
3 real-life stories about getting unstuck to inspire you
Jon and Vishen’s stories aren’t outliers. With more than 2,000 Lifebook transformation stories in the Mindvalley community, you’ll find plenty of people who’ve stepped out of their ruts. And you might catch a little inspiration from them.
Executive coach who couldn’t see his next step
Mathieu Côte, an executive coach from Ireland, reached a point where everything in his life felt blurry. His work had shifted; his roles as a husband, dad, and friend felt heavy; and he couldn’t see what he truly wanted anymore. He tried to push through it, yet the lack of clarity lingered and left him feeling stuck in every direction.
Things changed when he finally slowed down and took the time to get honest with himself. He created space to reflect, ask real questions, and look at what mattered to him in all areas of his life.
“My relationships with my wife and children have never been better, and I feel deeply grateful for the life I lead,” he shares. “I am content but also energized by a clear vision of my future.”
Young professional who felt weighed down by self-doubt
Nadia Gwampi, a technical planner from South Africa, reached her mid-twenties carrying feelings that were heavy and hard to shake.
“I was struggling with feelings of worthlessness, emptiness, and a lingering sadness,” she says. “I felt incapable and behind.”
Having gone through Lifebook on Mindvalley, she reflected on who she was and who she wanted to become; the confusion began to clear. She found a sense of confidence, direction, and self-trust that she hadn’t felt before.
“I know what I want,” she adds. “I know what I need to do to get it; now I must just focus and get to work. This process has been so grounding and freeing all at once, and I can’t wait to truly dial in.”
Mom who felt guilty for feeling unhappy
“My life was mediocre, at best,” Annie Ruffino tells Mindvalley. “I was constantly tired and fatigued, and I felt stuck in my career and family life. I felt as if I was just going through the motions.”
She carried guilt for feeling unhappy because, on the outside, her life looked good. She had a loving husband, great kids, and stability, yet something inside her felt hollow and unexamined.
Her turning point came when she finally slowed down enough to look at her life with honesty. She realized there were parts of her life she had never truly thought about, and she had no clear sense of what she actually wanted.
As Annie reflected on each area, her vision became sharper and more achievable. She began taking ownership of her time, making choices that supported the future she wanted rather than the routines she had fallen into.
That shift brought more happiness, more connection with her husband, and a steadier sense of direction that she could feel every day.
Find your passion, ignite your path
If you’re done landing on the same tired spots in your life’s Monopoly game, the free Lifebook masterclass on Mindvalley gives you a chance to design a board you actually want to play on.
In this 90-minute session, Jon and Missy Butcher walk you through a process that helps you see what you really want in all 12 areas of your life. You learn how to:
- Understand who you are, what you want, and what your purpose looks like,
- Find clarity if you are in a major life transition,
- Create balanced success across all areas of your life,
- Take charge of your future with a clear action plan, and
- Build a life vision that helps your goals finally stick.
“Everything we do in life is meant for one thing—to make us happy,” says Jon. And this is your chance to pick a new direction, roll the dice with purpose, and move toward a life that feels alive again.
Welcome in.
