If there’s one thing social media does well, it sets obscure topics ablaze. And the one that’s circulating the trends on TikTok? Soul ties.
This concept, shrouded in mystery and tinged with a touch of the metaphysical, has sparked endless questions and ignited curiosity. But beyond the online buzz lies a deeper truth: soul ties can have a huge impact on your relationships and personal growth.
And when you start to understand this complex bond, you’ll learn to identify whether it’s good or bad for you and take the steps to open yourself up to the possibility of a fulfilling, lasting love.
What are soul ties?
At its core, the “soul ties” meaning is an intense spiritual bond rooted in deep emotional intimacy between you and another person. It’s magnetic, unshakeable, and deeply familiar, as if your hearts are intertwined, and separation seems impossible.
Katherine Woodward Thomas, a licensed marriage and family therapist and trainer of the Mindvalley program by the same name, has spoken about how powerful these kinds of emotional connections can become, even to the point of feeling addictive.
“We do kind of become addicted to each other in the best of ways,” she says. “The brain is actually a social organ, meaning that our brains will sync up with the brains of those that we spend the most time with.”
That’s what makes soul ties so consuming. Your system starts to sync with theirs.
And, as Katherine explains, “we’ll begin to think each other’s thoughts. We’ll begin to finish each other’s sentences. We’ll begin to regulate our emotions and regulate our physical things, like heartbeat and breath rate and all those things.”
That’s the thing, though: some of these connections bring out the best in you, like Noah and Ally from The Notebook or even the kinship between Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the Harry Potter series.
However, others hold chaos, pain, and patterns you’ve outgrown, like Star Wars’ Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader or Black Swan’s Nina Sayers and her rival ballerina Lily.
What makes it tricky is, the tie doesn’t care whether the relationship is healthy; it just wants to stay connected. And that’s when it gets complicated.
Are soul ties real?
Yes, but it depends on how you define “real.” Spiritually, soul ties are deeply felt and hard to deny. Scientifically, they’re less measurable, but the effects on your body, mind, and energy are very real.
From a spiritual perspective, soul ties are more than just attachments. Dr. Virginia Marie Love, Ph.D., Div.D., M.Msc. (better known as Dr. Gin) shares with Mindvalley Pulse that soul ties stand apart because of the intensity of the spiritual bond.
These connections go beyond thought. You feel them in your chest, in your energy, and sometimes in the way your body holds tension or aches with absence.
Science explains this in its own way, though. Researchers describe limbic resonance as a phenomenon where your nervous system syncs with another person’s.
According to psychiatrists Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon in A General Theory of Love, “limbic regulation affords lovers the ability to modulate each other’s emotions, neurophysiology, hormonal status, immune function, sleep rhythms, and stability.” In other words, being emotionally bonded can shift your biology, even across distance.
And then there are mirror neurons, the parts of your brain that allow you to feel what someone else is feeling. It’s why your stomach drops after a message from your ex. Or why a friend you haven’t seen in years suddenly appears in your dreams.
These connections aren’t always logical. But their imprint on your nervous system is unmistakable.
How are soul ties formed?
Soul ties form through shared emotional intensity. They’re built in quiet, vulnerable moments that shift something in your nervous system, your heart, or even your sense of self.
But it doesn’t need years to build. Sometimes all it takes is one raw, honest moment, and—bam!—you’re entangled. And it deepens when you…
- Connect over shared beliefs, dreams, or values and finally feel like someone gets it.
- Go through something intense together, like grief, intimacy, a crisis, or a massive life shift.
- Feel safe, seen, and understood in a way that cuts deeper than casual connection.
The more charged the moment, the stronger the imprint. And if the bond was formed in chaos or codependency, it can leave you feeling hooked long after the relationship is over.
That said, not all soul ties come wrapped in warmth; some are born from the wreckage. And oddly, those are often the hardest ones to shake.
Different types of soul ties
Not all soul ties look the same. There are four common types of soul ties, and each one leaves a different kind of imprint.
Romantic soul ties
These are what most people think of first.
They’re emotionally charged, physically intimate, and often life-shaping. What’s more, they’re the ones that leave you breathless or broken, or both.
It’s often confused with soulmates, but the two aren’t always the same. While a soulmate usually brings peace, a romantic soul tie, on the other hand, often brings fire.
And its intensity usually lingers, no matter if it ends or evolves, especially when sexual intimacy is involved. In fact, the symptoms of soul ties sexually can include emotional fixation, heightened sensitivity, and a sense of energetic entanglement that sticks long after the physical connection ends.
Example: Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton had the kind of love that burned through two marriages and left scorch marks on Hollywood. And if you’ve ever watched Ross and Rachel in Friends, you know the feeling. It’s messy, magnetic, and never really over.
Platonic soul ties
Having a platonic relationship can be just as powerful because they’re the friends who feel like home. Sometimes they show up for a season, sometimes for a lifetime.
While the connection isn’t romantic, it’s deep enough to shift your identity, worldview, or sense of belonging.
Example: Oprah and Gayle have been each other’s anchor for decades, proof that deep friendship can feel just as fated as romance. They’re much like Frodo and Sam in The Lord of the Rings, where they show the same kind of loyalty and carry each other through the darkest parts of the journey.
Karmic soul ties
These unseen connections feel magnetic but often come with friction. They’re full of repeating patterns and hard lessons.
They’re often planned before a lifetime exists, according to Dr. Gin. She explains, “[it’s] an agreement between two souls to once again collide to aid one another in discovering and fulfilling a lifetime’s purpose.”
You’re not always meant to stay in a karmic relationship, but they often crack something open so you can grow.
Example: Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil had a connection that felt more like a collision, full of passion and pain with no clean way out. We see the same kind of emotional loop in Marriage Story, where Charlie and Nicole love each other but keep hurting each other anyway.
Spiritual soul ties
These are the people you connect with over shared practices, beliefs, or awakening experiences. They remind you of your purpose or reflect your inner world in a way that’s hard to put into words.
Each of these ties can be beautiful, painful, or both. What matters most is whether the connection helps you rise, or keeps you stuck.
Example: Ram Dass and Timothy Leary shared ideas that lit a fire in a generation of seekers drawn to deeper meaning. And in Pixar’s Soul, Joe and 22 only meet for a moment, but it’s enough to shift everything they thought they knew about purpose.
Soul ties vs. twin flames
Both are about deep connections between two people. However, the soul ties meaning is distinct from that of twin flames. Here’s where they differ:
| Soul ties | Twin flames | |
| Nature | Energetic connection formed through shared experiences | Two halves of one soul reunited |
| Number of connections | Can have multiple soul ties throughout life | Believed to have only one twin flame |
| Intensity | Varies depending on the relationship | Extremely intense and transformative |
| Purpose | Can be for growth, learning, or even karmic balance | To help each other reach their highest potential |
| Relationship dynamic | Can be romantic, platonic, or familial | Typically romantic, with a strong spiritual component |
| Healthy vs. unhealthy | Both healthy and toxic soul ties exist | Believe to be a divinely ordained connection (healthy) |
It’s not always easy to know which one you’re in, especially when the connection feels electric. But there are signs. And you’ll feel it, often before you fully understand it.
10 signs you have a soul tie
Here are signs of soul ties that often show up first:
- Intense emotional connection, one that goes beyond the surface level. It’s like you understand each other without words.
- Difficulty moving on after a relationship ends, or you constantly think about the person.
- Inexplicable mood swings because your emotions seem tied to this person. Their highs and lows dramatically affect you, even when they’re not around.
- Frequent dreams or thoughts appear about them throughout the day, even in mundane moments.
- Sense of familiarity right from the start, like a twin flame or a soulmate. It’s as if you’ve known them for a long time.
- Telepathic feelings, where you can sense their emotions or thoughts.
- Physical responses like your heart racing, butterflies in your stomach, or a sense of calmness triggered by their presence or even the thought of them.
- Impact on decision-making. Their opinions and thoughts significantly influence your decisions, sometimes even more than your own.
- Shared pain or joy as if it were your own, showing a deep empathetic connection.
- Reluctance to form new relationships, as if a part of you is still tied to them.
Dr. Gin adds that one major red flag is obsessive rumination. She explains, “In today’s world of social media, this can include excessively viewing their accounts. In daily life, these intrusive thoughts can affect your life in a myriad of ways, including career performance, disturbance of sleep, and more.”
She also adds that even healthy soul ties require boundaries. The connection might feel euphoric, safe, or peaceful. But without autonomy, it can quietly slip into emotional dependence.
The dangers of toxic soul ties
“Toxic ties cost us, and they cost us big time,” says Katherine in her Mindvalley program.
And she’s not exaggerating. A soul tie that turns toxic doesn’t just mess with your emotions. It can throw off your sense of identity, derail your healing, and keep you stuck in emotional bonds.
Here’s how it shows up:
- Emotional exhaustion. Every interaction leaves you depleted. Even thinking about them feels heavy. You might not realize it at first, but your nervous system is in a constant state of stress.
- Looped in the past. New relationships don’t stand a chance because you’re still comparing them to the one you haven’t fully released. The emotional door never quite closes.
- Codependency. Their opinion matters more than yours. Their approval decides your self-worth. Somewhere along the line, you gave up your emotional autonomy, and it’s costing you clarity and confidence.
- Loss of identity. Your needs, goals, and desires get blurry. You’re so wrapped up in them that you forget who you were before the bond.
- Absorbing their energy. Their moods become your moods. Their chaos leaks into your calm. If they’re angry, anxious, or negative, you carry it like it’s yours.
A toxic soul tie doesn’t always come with fireworks or fights. Sometimes, it’s the slow leak of self that reveals just how far you’ve drifted from your center.
Julia, a Mindvalley Member from the U.S., knows the toll all too well. After her breakup, she couldn’t eat, couldn’t get out of bed, and felt the emotional pain show up in her body. But the moment she started naming what was really going on, the tension began to lift and with it came a sense of freedom.
If you, too, have gone through the same, it just might be a sign your energy wants to come back to you.
Until you are able to see yourself living the life that you truly want, it will be difficult for you to create it.
— Katherine Woodward Thomas, trainer of Mindvalley’s Conscious Uncoupling program
How to break soul ties: 5 steps you can take to heal and move on
If you suspect you have a connection that’s holding you back, particularly in a toxic relationship, breaking soul ties can help you heal and reclaim your energy. Here’s where you can start:
1. Recognize the tie for what it is
The first step to any kind of recovery is acknowledging there’s a problem.
That doesn’t mean dwelling on the past, though. Rather, it’s recognizing that there’s an energetic cord between you and that other person, and it’s impacting your present for the worse.
It’s much like seeing a weed in your garden. You can choose to remove it and make space for beautiful new flowers.
Paulina Young, who went through Katherine’s Mindvalley program, made that choice after the end of her 17-year marriage. Instead of becoming bitter, she chose to reflect, grow, and become the kind of person who could model a better way forward for her kids and for herself.
As Katherine advises, “Until you are able to see yourself living the life that you truly want, it will be difficult for you to create it.”
2. Forgive to free yourself
Anger, resentment, or guilt—these are things that can keep the soul tie tethered. That’s why forgiveness is such a powerful action. What’s more, studies have found that it leads to a decrease in anger, anxiety, and depression while also fostering feelings of compassion and well-being.
Katherine suggests noticing the judgments that you’ve had towards yourself and your former partner. What were you expecting them to do differently? Where have you been holding yourself to impossible standards?
As she teaches, “see if you can make conscious the standards to which you’ve been holding yourself and others accountable.”
Additionally, Dr. Gin also shares a simple but powerful cord-cutting affirmation designed to interrupt obsessive thoughts and help you reclaim emotional autonomy. It can go something like this:
“I release you [insert the person’s name], with gratitude. I now call my power back and choose to cut all emotional, physical, and mental ties with you. You are no longer welcome in my life experience.”
By letting go of all that negativity, you weaken the energetic hold of the soul tie and free yourself to create healthier emotional connections.
3. Set boundaries
“A boundary is where you end and another person begins,” explains Neelam Verma, the founder of Integrity Dating and trainer of Mindvalley’s Finding Love with Integrity Dating program. So if you still have contact with the person, establishing clear ones is crucial.
For John, a Mindvalley Member from Canada, that shift was life-changing. He spent eight years stuck in a toxic, codependent relationship before he finally drew a line. Once he set clear boundaries, he found what he called a “road map to liberation” and the first real hope of a healthier future.
So, what can this look like in practice?
- Limiting your communication to specific times or topics is one way.
- You can also establish physical boundaries, like avoiding certain places you know they frequent.
- On social media, consider unfollowing or even blocking them if necessary.
Remember, boundaries are about protecting your emotional well-being, and you have the right to say no to interactions that drain your energy.
4. Reclaim your energy through self-care
The process of getting over someone you love also means focusing on nurturing your well-being. Taking care of yourself strengthens your own energy field and helps you detach from unhealthy connections.
Focus on self-love and activities that help you come back to yourself, through meditation, journaling, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies you enjoy.
Neelam also suggests affirmations and mantras, which are great ways to reprogram your subconscious mind and break free from negative patterns associated with the soul tie. Here are a few mantras she shares on her Mindvalley program:
- I’m ready to surrender to a lover who will truly see me and love me.
- My heart is open to giving and receiving love.
- I choose to honor myself mentally, emotionally, physically, and sexually.
5. Find support that helps you heal
When you’re emotionally entangled, your thoughts spiral, your boundaries blur, and your sense of self can start to erode. That’s where a therapist, healer, or spiritual guide becomes essential.
They’re not out to fix you. Rather, they guide you through untangling what’s yours, what isn’t, and what no longer belongs.
Plus, they can help you make meaning of the pain instead of just surviving it. And they help you face the hard stuff directly, like the grief, the rage, and the parts of you that disappeared inside the bond.
And for some, this support goes beyond emotional or psychological; it’s spiritual. Whether through prayer, energy healing, or simply being witnessed in a sacred space, having someone hold you through the release can shift things you’ve carried for years.
As Katherine reminds, you don’t need to go through this alone. Let the people who love you hold space for your healing.
“They can’t change your situation,” she says, “but they can walk through some of it with you and offer their support and their life-affirming perspective to help you stay on track towards this happier, healthier future that’s waiting for you on the other side of this.”
Frequently asked questions
Can you have a one-sided soul tie?
Absolutely, you can. And it’s more common than most people think.
A soul tie doesn’t need mutual acknowledgment to exist. You might feel deeply bonded to someone who doesn’t feel it back, or maybe they once did but have since moved on. The tie still tugs at you.
That’s the thing about them. As Dr. Gin points out, even if the other person has moved on, the symptoms of soul ties can still linger as emotional and physical imprints in your system.
In fact, this kind of emotional overwhelm doesn’t just affect your heart metaphorically. Studies in cardiac medicine have linked intense emotional stress to a condition called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or “Broken Heart Syndrome,” where the heart physically weakens under emotional strain.
What makes one-sided soul ties especially painful is the longing. You replay conversations, overanalyze silence, and scroll through their social media trying to decode what they’re not saying. And it keeps you locked in place, hoping for closure or a sign that you still matter.
But the truth is, your healing doesn’t depend on their awareness. You have the power to release the tie, even if they’ve forgotten your name.
Can you have a soul tie with a friend?
Most definitely. You can share a deep emotional connection with anyone, and that includes friends.
These bonds can be incredibly supportive and enriching. But keep in mind that unhealthy friendships can also drain your energy.
So pay attention to how you feel after you interact with friends. With healthy soul ties, you feel uplifted, but with toxic ones, you might feel depleted.
How long do soul ties last?
As long as you keep feeding them.
The reality is, soul ties don’t come with expiration dates. Some fade naturally with time and distance. Others can grip you for years, especially if they’re tied to unresolved emotions, past trauma, or lingering what-ifs.
Every time you revisit the story, check their profile, replay that last conversation, or shape your decisions around their absence, the tie gets reinforced.
But they only stay as long as you let them. When you begin to reclaim your energy, set boundaries, and choose peace over obsession, the cord starts to loosen. And little by little, it loses its grip.
Find your spiritual superpower
Social media might’ve put soul ties on your radar, but healing from them? That takes something deeper.
Katherine Woodward Thomas’ free Conscious Uncoupling class is that something.
It helps you move on in a way that honors your story, protects your peace, and makes room for love that meets you where you are. Not where you’ve been.
Katherine’s process was born from her own heartbreak and transformation. And it’s the same method that helped thousands, from Gwyneth Paltrow to Mindvalley’s own founders, consciously and compassionately part ways.
Even Mindvalley Member, Nadja from Dubai, U.A.E., who decided to “quit” her relationship at home, has been able to “uncouple in peace.”
“Separation, loss, divorce—they all feel like a failure,” she shares on Mindvalley Stories. “But there is no need to feel that way. We can end a relationship in a peaceful and mindful way, without stress and war. It feels good to take responsibility and to forgive myself.”
You can, too. In this free class, Katherine guides you through the first steps to:
- Let go of the past without losing yourself
- Understand the emotional imprints you’ve been carrying
- Break unhealthy patterns that block future love
If there’s even a flicker of doubt, that’s your heart asking to come home. And she’ll show you how.
Welcome in.
