Once upon a time, there was no such thing as a picture-perfect relationship. We’ve all been through that one karmic relationship that might have felt like rainbows and butterflies at the beginning.
It might’ve been filled with crazy adventures or rocky mountains to climb. And if it has ended, it might’ve collapsed with a campfire that burned everything to the ground. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
If you are looking for help on how to clean up the ashes and rebuild your life, this is where Mindvalley can come to support you along your journey.
The Beatles said, “All you need is love,” but sometimes, in a difficult relationship, having only love isn’t enough. The good news is that you can heal from the patterns holding you back and create the healthy relationships you deserve. Here, you can take the first step.
What Is a Karmic Relationship?
A karmic relationship is an intense connection where both partners feel crazy in love with each other but encounter numerous difficulties in maintaining the relationship. The passion that draws them together often feels like a magical out-of-this-world kind of relation.
However, because these strong connections are based on karma, they are meant to teach you the lessons your soul needs to learn in this life.
The masters of Hindu and Buddhist philosophy believed that souls make “contracts” to meet each other before incarnating on this Earth. This way, they agree to learn important lessons together through overcoming hardships and intense uncertainty in the physical world.
Karmic relationship vs. twin flame vs. soulmate
Karmic partners, twin flames, and soulmates are all karmic relationships whose purpose is your evolution and growth. The difference between these lies in the modality they show up in your life.
- Karmic partners. They are meant to be more temporary. You meet them and you connect, but it’s more like an episode of your favorite show rather than the plot of the whole sequel.
- Twin flames. When you meet your twin flame, you will feel like looking into a mirror. You’ll notice similarities in your core values, passions, desires, and life vision. Because there’re so many things alike, your traumas and triggers will be similar, and that’s why the difficulties won’t cease to occur during the relationship.
It’s like dealing with your deepest wounds and insecurities multiplied by two, with the purpose of your spiritual awakening and grasping crucial lessons for your soul to ascend.
- Soulmates. On the other hand, soulmates are those people that are complementary to you. You feel the connection, but it’s not fireworks from the beginning. Your relationship will grow at a slower pace, and they wouldn’t necessarily shake the grounds of your life.
Soulmates are a slow sunrise, while karmic partners and twin flames can feel like that moment when someone unexpectedly turns on the bright light in a room where you’ve enjoyed the darkness for a while.
Stages of a karmic relationship
Step by step, as the saying goes. And when it comes to karmic relationships, it’s no different. Here are the stages you go through:
- Out-of-this-world romance. You meet them, and all of a sudden, life doesn’t make sense without this person. All you need is love. Their love.
- You can’t get enough. You feel so much passion and love for this person that no amount of dates, time, words, or precious moments you share, nothing seems like enough.
- Drama starts to rise. Although you still love each other so much, drama slowly slips into your relationship. And as intense the love has been up until now, as fiery the drama.
- You get addicted to the pattern. Love, fight, want to break up, but then love again, then fight again, and the pattern keeps repeating itself…again.
- Breaking the karmic bond. This is where the lessons are learned and where the purpose reveals itself. It’s the most painful part of the process.
One good pop culture example to depict all the stages of a karmic relationship would be Joe and Love from the Netflix series You.
How to Know If You’re in a Karmic Relationship: 5 Signs to Watch Out For
The reality is, you will know when a relationship is karmic because it’s probably very particular and different from other romantic experiences you’ve had. But here’s a list of signs to look out for:
#1: Instant connection
Your first encounter was likely passionate, magical, and seemed surreal. You might have felt like you’ve known them from another life. And that’s because you probably have.
As mentioned, some Eastern religions describe karmic relationships as a meeting between two souls to burn the unresolved karma from previous lives. It’s a spiritual way to let go and set your soul free.
#2: Red flags
Oh, the magic of red flags. You see them, you sense danger, but you decide to ignore them.
And many times after you break the bond of a karmic relationship, you notice all the moments when the signs were clear, but you refused to acknowledge them.
What’s even more interesting is that people around you are probably telling you how they see this relationship objectively. And it’s not similar to the ideal depiction created subjectively in your mind.
#3: You live to extremes
One day, you’re deeply in love, and the next, you’re playing an intense game of “he said, she said.”
This is how most karmic relationships go, as much as you love your partner, as deeply you can despise their actions, behavior, and attitude. They trigger your wounds and reflect your most profound fears.
#4: Your energy is depleting
Despite the special moments you share together and the love you carry for each other, you might feel like your energy is slowly leaking out of your system.
That happens because the intensity of a relationship is fascinating in the beginning, but after a while, having your body in a constant state of high vigilance will be draining out your resources.
When you fall in love, you may feel the butterflies you — in biological terms, cortisol (widely known as the stress hormone) being released into your system. And living in a constant state of stress doesn’t seem supportive of your energy levels, right?
#5: You want to let go, but feel like you can’t
Not knowing how to end a karmic relationship is a clear sign that you are in one. It’s like a toxic habit that you know is hurting you, but can’t seem to ever go away, no matter how hard you try. And it seems like life will end when you aren’t with this person anymore.
But when you take that leap of faith, you’ll see how life can blossom unexpectedly again. With compassion and love for yourself, you can and you will be able to heal. Slowly but surely.
How to Heal From a Breakup After a Karmic Relationship
Katherine Woodward Thomas, psychotherapist and relationship expert, and Marie Diamond, renowned energy healer share a few practices to heal your wounded heart after an intense relationship.
When you choose to change your life by attracting the right things, people, and outcomes in your life, you need to start feeling compassionate about what you have attracted so far.— Marie Diamond, trainer of Mindvalley’s Success Magic Quest
#1: Let go of shame and feel the feelings
When going through a breakup after an intense relationship, a lot of shame might rise up to the surface. Shame that maybe you haven’t done enough to keep the relationship going. Or shame that you didn’t fulfill the “happily ever after myth” that runs through the veins of our society.
Katherine Woodward Thomas emphasizes the concept of “happily even after.” Happy that you learned valuable lessons that will empower your growth. And happy that you had the unshakable courage to let go of something that no longer served you.
So celebrating even going through the hard times will paradoxically accelerate the whole healing process. David Hawkins, a globally celebrated psychiatrist and founder of the Institute for Spiritual Research, has spent his life researching the effects of letting go of emotions without repressing or trying to change them in any way.
What he found was that once emotions are truly felt and let go, instead of running away and bottling them up, the process of healing occurs faster and somehow naturally.
So, feel your feelings. It’s not as overrated as you might have thought.
#2: Write a letter of forgiveness
Marie Diamond shares a beautiful practice of forgiveness and releasing resentment that holds you back from moving forward. Write a forgiveness letter.
What’s important to keep in mind, she says, it’s knowing that the letter will be written to the soul of the person, not to their ego. So write down everything you wished you could have shared with them. Write about all the pain they caused and all the broken pieces of your heart you’re still trying to put back together.
You can write down all the hate, hurt, and frustration, but also the lessons you’ve learned, the appreciation for special moments, and the positive impact they’ve had on your life forever.
When you’re done, Marie recommends signing the letter and burning it at noon, on a sunny day. According to her, the reason for that is the high level of chi (life force energy) you have during that time of the day, therefore a maximum capacity for letting go of resentment and moving on with your healing process.
#3: Begin with your future
When you clear out old energy and you’re open to finding new love again, Katherine recommends that you always begin with your future.
If you’re wondering how to find love, wonder no more. The first step is to focus on the future you’re aspiring to create. If you’re directing your energy into what happened in the past and how terribly hurt you’ve been, you will just make the pain grow.
So you can now give your gentle heart a well-deserved break and imagine the most wonderful future you’re yearning for because it’s possible. Set an intention for the relationship you most desire to create. And let the magic happen.
Stick your foot in the door of possibility, no matter what your past is.— Katherine Woodward Thomas, trainer of Mindvalley’s Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in The One Quests
#4: Focus on self-love
Self-love can sound like a hip cliché in this day and age, but we sometimes secretly love them, don’t we?
When healing from a breakup, Katherine points out how self-love plays a crucial role. In the end, you will find the true love of your life when you figure out that you are the love of your life.
And how would you treat this person knowing that they hold all the love you’ve ever craved for? You can create a self-love routine and take care of your body, mind, and soul. Connect to the practices that bring you peace.
And make those tough choices to keep your boundaries, say “yes” to what feels utterly right, and let yourself be vulnerable, perfectly flawed, and perfectly humane.
According to Katherine, we should also make sure our idea of self-love doesn’t mean we become so self-sufficient that we don’t need people to connect to anymore.
We confused needing people with being needy.— Katherine Woodward Thomas, trainer of Mindvalley’s Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in The One Quests
As your brain is hardwired for connection, your impulse to find love is completely natural. Don’t fight against it. Longing for intimacy only enhances the humane beauty of your heart.
To Be or Not to Be… Healing
Starting your healing process after a karmic relationship is a difficult journey to embark on.
But once all the trials and errors have failed, all the tears were cried, and the last “I can change them” card has been drawn…you can make the decision.
You will be one decision away from starting your journey to heal. And the great news is that you don’t have to be alone while you’re doing so.
You can get guidance on your path by unlocking your FREE Mindvalley access. You’ll have access to sample classes from quests, such as Conscious Uncoupling with Katherine Woodward Thomas or guided meditations by Marie Diamond.
Therefore, the steps you need to take will be clearer, and the patterns you need to break won’t seem as rough as before.
As the saying goes, the only way out is through. Why not make the best out of it? You can show up. The world is waiting for the healed version of you.