What Is a Twin Flame and How to Find Out You Have One

What Is a Twin Flame and How to Find Out You Have One


What is a twin flame, and have you met yours? Here’s clear guidance on how to spot one and what to expect from twin flame love.

Here’s the widespread theory on twin flames: at the beginning of time, we were created as one soul, which was split into two soul halves — male and female. And then, these two split souls would reincarnate over lifetimes to reunite. Once they finally meet, they leave the Earth as one whole individual soul.

Though this theory might sound utterly romantic, many spiritual teachers and healers reassure us that we are whole on our own. Does it mean that twin flames don’t exist?

Here’s what you need to know:

Let’s dive in.

twin flame relationships

What Is a Twin Flame?

Teal Swan, international speaker and best-selling author, explains there is no being that is separate from you. Also, this theory ascribes traits to souls that are more physical than they are energetic. 

She says, “a soul is not a clump of energy, in the same way that a body is a clump of bones and flesh. To imply that a soul can be cut in two implies that it is a clump of energy. In reality, a soul is nothing more than a stream of consciousness. Streams cannot be cut in half.”

Also, this traditional view of twin flames implies that it happens between dual aspects – a male and a female. But a stream of consciousness isn’t dualistic. 

In other words, your soul stream can be incarnated as the same gender as yourself, so a twin flame love isn’t constricted by gender.

You can view it as your mirror soul, or, to be more precise, it’s an intense connection with someone who mirrors you on the deepest level possible.

While loving someone is always an intense experience, twin flame love is extremely intense, challenging and profoundly healing. Because you mirror each other’s most hidden insecurities, fears, and shadow aspects, it gives you an opportunity to heal them and elevate your love relationship. 

What’s the Meaning of a Twin Flame?

Dr Harmony, intuitive energy healer and author of Twin Flame Codebreaker, says, “a twin flame comes into your life when you are ready for self-mastery. They are present to bring soul growth and personal transformation.” 

When we incarnate on this physical plane, we experience the contrast of loneliness and separation. But we also incarnate with the inherent aspiration for unity. Thus, we are wired for love and connection. We are wired for merging with someone to become whole again, and twin flame love is one of the most intense types of love one can experience.

twin flames

19 Signs You’ve Found Your Twin Flame

How do you know you’ve met your twin flame? Here is a list of signs that most experts and twin flame partners agree on.

  1. You had dreams or visions of this person before physically meeting in this lifetime.
  1. Before you two met, you were single for a while, doing profound inner work to develop self-acceptance and cultivate self-love.
  1. You might be in the process of getting over your previous partner. But when you met your twin flame, you’ve realized that your previous relationships had been preparing you for this divine connection. You felt like you’d finally met “the one.”
  1. There was instant recognition and intense attraction that felt like “coming home.”
  1. After meeting, you had memories of other times and places with that person beyond your current lifetime.
  1. You had your spiritual awakening after you met your twin flame.
  1. You’re very similar and polar opposite at the same time. You may have similar experiences as if you lived parallel lives, and simultaneously, you may represent different cultures and religions or have a significant age difference.
  1. You mirror each other’s deepest wounds, insecurities, imbalances, and patterns.
  1. You feel each other’s presence in spirit even when they aren’t physically present with you. You even feel each other’s illnesses.
  1. You can communicate telepathically and psychically — you can literally read each other’s minds.
  1. This connection is intensely challenging. Often, one of the twin flames is married or in a long-term relationship.
  1. Your connection has a great impact on people around you — your family, friends, and closest circle. They stand in awe, deeply humbled, or even threatened by your union.
  1. When you are apart from your twin flame, it hurts physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically.
  1. When you are together, you feel stronger, more powerful and capable of anything you’ve ever wanted to achieve in life.
  1. Your twin flame is the best friend you’ve ever had. At the same time, there’s an immense sexual attraction between you.
  1. You’re constantly triggering each other’s deepest insecurities, pushing each other out of your comfort zones.
  1. You no longer seek to leave this plane if you previously didn’t quite enjoy your 3D experience on Earth.
  1. You have awakened to your higher purpose in life as an individual.
  1. You both serve a shared mission of helping humanity evolve by embodying unconditional love and unity consciousness as a twin flame couple. 

The 8 Stages of a Twin Flame Relationship

Barbara Spinelli, therapist and relationship expert, defines eight common stages.

Stage 1: Yearning

Before you meet your mirror soul, you will have an awareness of them in the form of deep longing. You will focus on your inner work to prepare yourself for this connection.

Stage 2: Meeting

When you meet, you will have a spiritual awakening, your life will dramatically change overnight.

Stage 3: The honeymoon phase

Like in any other intimate relationships, in this phase, your relationship feels new and uplifting. 

Stage 4: Challenges emerge

This will reflect the soul work you need to do on your own. It’s the stage when you focus on improving yourself, rather than improving relationships.

Stage 5: The test

In this phase, your love will be tested. You will uncover your deepest wounds and insecurities, your attachment or avoidance issues. 

Stage 6: The chase

It’s also called a stage of separation. There is always a chaser and a runner in many twin flame relationships. Someone will always pull away, and this causes separation. And this chase can go on for years.

Stage 7: The surrender

When you accept each other fully and unconditionally, you will eventually come back together again. Needless to say that nothing has ever felt as painful and tumultuous as being separated from your twin flame.

Stage 8: Coming home

This is the ultimate stage when you surrender to your divine union. You’ve grown more mature and balanced. You no longer question your connection. At this stage, you two commit to each other’s growth and move towards your shared mission of elevating the collective consciousness.

Twin Flame vs Soulmate

Spinelli explains soulmates are often described as a strong connection between two people that can be romantic partners, friends, or family members. Some use these terms interchangeably. 

The main difference is that soulmate connection isn’t as intense and challenging as a twin flame love. 

  • Also, unlike your mirror soul, ​​soulmates are more compatible with you. 
  • You have several soulmates in one lifetime, but you can only meet one twin flame.
  • Soulmates boost your confidence, while twin flames bring out each other’s deepest wounds and insecurities.
  • Communication with a twin flame is almost psychic. You feel them much deeper than your soulmate.

Learn more: Twin Flame vs. Soulmate: 7 Differences You May Not Know

Calling In “The One”

Katherine Woodward Thomas, the New York Times bestselling author and Mindvalley’s author of Calling In “The One” Quest

Call it a twin flame or a soulmate, we are all capable of manifesting the most beautiful and fulfilling intimate partnership. 

Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT, the New York Times bestselling author of Calling in “The One”, affirms that your life isn’t predestined but an ongoing creative process. 

She says, “to create what you haven’t experienced before, you need to give up the idea that you’re a victim to a fate or circumstances. And your relationship with yourself is the first place to look at when it comes to manifesting fulfilling relationships with others.” 

When you alter your relationship with yourself, your external world will shift accordingly. 

After all, you are your own most significant twin flame you’ve ever had and will ever have. 

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Written by
Irina Yugay