“How would you talk if you had unshakable confidence and enoughness?” asks Marisa Peer, the founder and creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®), at Mindvalley University 2022. “What would that look like? What would it feel like?”
Most people never stop to consider their self-talk. Yet it dictates everything—how they feel, what they go after, and whether they spend their days building themselves up or quietly tearing themselves down.
A harsh inner monologue is like having a personal heckler in your head. But a strong one? That’s the voice that gets things done.
So, if your self-talk has been running the show unchecked, it’s time for a rewrite. Because that voice in your head can either be your greatest asset… or your worst liability.
What is self-talk?
The “self-talk” definition, in a nutshell, is the running commentary inside your head. It’s the constant stream of thoughts—some conscious, some automatic—that shapes how you see yourself and the world. It can be encouraging, critical, reassuring, or downright vicious, depending on the habits your brain has built over time.
“The way you feel is down to two things,” says Marisa in her Mindvalley program, Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance, “the pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself.”
Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D., the author of over twenty books on self-talk and personal growth, echoes the same sentiment in his book, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. “The brain simply believes what you tell it most,” he writes. “And what you tell it about you, it will create. It has no choice.”
Research shows that every thought you repeat strengthens neural pathways, reinforcing emotions and behaviors. The more you tell yourself something, no matter if it’s positive or negative, the more your brain believes it and adjusts accordingly.
What’s more, when your mental chatter leans to the negative—“I always mess up,” “No one cares what I have to say,” “I look fat”—your stress hormones like cortisol can spike up, carving deep mental grooves that make self-doubt and anxiety feel like second nature.
However, with deliberate effort, self-talk can be reshaped. Shifting your inner dialogue—swapping “I can’t” for “I’m figuring it out” or “I’m failing” for “I’m improving”—triggers dopamine and serotonin, boosting motivation and well-being.
The way you feel about everything comes down to the pictures you make and the words you say.
— Marisa Peer, trainer of Mindvalley’s Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program
That’s why it’s important to be conscious of the words you say and the thoughts you think. As Marisa says, “Every word you say is a blueprint that your mind, body, and psyche want to make a reality.”
Positive vs. negative self-talk
Because the mind thrives on habit, the type of inner dialogue you default to can either build resilience or reinforce self-doubt.
So what’s the real difference between self-talk that lifts you up and the kind that holds you back? Let’s break it down.
| Positive self-talk | Negative self-talk | |
| Mindset | Growth-oriented, sees challenges as opportunities | Fixed, assumes abilities and situations can’t change |
| Emotional impact | Boosts confidence, reduces stress | Increases self-doubt, fuels anxiety |
| Problem-solving | Focuses on solutions and learning | Magnifies problems, dwells on failure |
| Behavioral effects | Encourages persistence and action | Leads to avoidance and hesitation |
| Brain chemistry | Increases dopamine and serotonin, promoting motivation | Raises cortisol, increasing stress and fatigue |
| Self-Perception | Reinforces self-worth and capability | Undermines confidence, reinforces low self-esteem and insecurity |
Negative self-talk: how it holds you back
Negative self-talk acts like mental quicksand, trapping you in a cycle of doubt and fear. This internal dialogue rewires your brain to anticipate failure and stress.
There are a few negative self-talk examples, and here’s how they hold you back:
| Type | What it sounds like | Psychological impact | How it holds you back |
| Catastrophizing | “If I mess up, everything will fall apart.” | Triggers anxiety, floods the brain with stress hormones | Overestimates risks, making you avoid challenges |
| Perfectionism | “If it’s not flawless, I’ve failed.” | Creates chronic stress, leads to burnout | Paralyzes progress, making you fear taking action |
| Self-doubt | “I’m not good enough to do this.” | Lowers confidence, reinforces imposter syndrome | Stops you from pursuing opportunities or personal growth |
| Filtering | “I only see what went wrong.” | Increases pessimism, suppresses motivation | Prevents learning from mistakes, keeping you stuck |
| Personalization | “It’s all my fault.” | Leads to guilt, unnecessary self-blame | Makes you carry burdens that aren’t yours |
Repeating these thought patterns strengthens the brain’s connection to negativity. It’s self-sabotage, pure and simple, and it makes the patterns so much harder to break.
As Dr. Helmstetter points out, “If you tell yourself that you cannot, what can the only outcome be?”
How to stop negative self-talk and transform it into empowering dialogue
Negative self-talk is sneaky. It runs in the background, shaping your mindset before you even realize it.
This video breaks down how negative self-talk takes hold and why shifting it can change everything.
This is exactly what Dr. Helmstetter warns about when he says, “If you do nothing to change it, it not only stays, it also gets progressively worse. It becomes a part of your programs, and follows the rules under which your brain operates.”
Marisa shares this perspective, saying, “Your words make your reality. If you don’t like your reality, change your words.” And she’s got some great ways to reprogram the subconscious mind and shut down your inner critic.
1. Give your mind clear instructions
“Your mind does what it thinks you want it to do,” Marisa explains. So when you say things like, “I don’t want to fail,” your brain focuses on the “fail” part.
The thing is, the brain takes more effort to understand negative statements than positive ones. And when it hears, “I don’t want to fail this test,” it picks up on the main subject of the thought rather than the negation attached to it.
For example, if someone says, “Don’t think of a pink elephant,” what immediately pops into your mind? A pink elephant. Even though the instruction was to not think about it, your brain had to first imagine it before attempting to suppress it.
This is why reframing your self-talk in positive, direct instructions is so important.
Instead of saying, “I don’t want to be nervous,” say, “I am calm and confident.”
Instead of “I don’t want to mess up,” say, “I perform with ease.”
By focusing on what you do want rather than what you don’t, you give your brain a clear and constructive command to follow.
2. Make self-praise a habit
Your brain is wired to prefer what’s familiar. If negative thinking is your brain’s go-to, then it becomes your default setting.
Think about how often you put yourself down. Maybe you mess up at work and immediately think, “I’m so stupid.”
If a friend made the same mistake, would you say, “You’re so stupid”? Unlikely. You’d probably reassure them. So why not treat yourself the same way?
“If your mind’s job is to make your thoughts real, what’s your job?” Marisa poses. “Think better thoughts.”
That’s the thing: subconscious programming is powerful. If you repeatedly tell yourself, “I can’t do this,” your brain takes it as truth. But if you start shifting your self-talk—“I did a great job handling that situation”—your brain rewires itself to believe it.
It’s small (baby steps are important), it feels natural, and it’s not forced (unlike “I’m amazing at everything” would be).
The key is consistency—the more you do it, the more your brain builds confidence and resilience. As research shows, self-affirmations boost problem-solving abilities and help regulate stress.
So, make a commitment: every time you catch yourself in self-criticism, immediately follow it with a genuine compliment. Over time, self-praise will feel as natural as breathing.
3. Control the mental images and words you use
Research shows that visualizing fearful scenarios activates the brain’s fear response, reinforcing negative emotions and expectations. This means that when you repeatedly imagine yourself stumbling through a presentation or being rejected, your brain treats it as real, making anxiety and self-doubt stronger.
As Marisa says, it all comes down to “the pictures you make and the words you say.” While that may be true for less-than-ideal situations, it’s equally true for the opposite: when things go right.
Take athletes, for instance. They use visualization to see themselves succeeding before they even compete. Research shows that mentally rehearsing an action activates the same brain areas as physically doing it. This means that picturing yourself performing well can actually boost your real-life performance.
So instead of “I don’t want to get on that plane; it’s going to crash” or “I don’t want to go on this date in case I get rejected”… Switch it up: “I love getting on a plane; I’ve got three hours to read a book and eat some food” or “I’m going to go on a date and I’m going to meet someone amazing.”
By doing this on repeat, you develop a growth mindset—one that sees challenges as opportunities and failures as learning experiences.
Real-life examples of self-talk transformation
Changing your inner dialogue is more than a mindset shift. It’s a proven strategy that has helped some of the most successful people achieve greatness.
If you start telling your mind extraordinary things about yourself, you will soon have an extraordinary life.
— Marisa Peer, trainer of Mindvalley’s Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program
Here are real positive self-talk examples that led to incredible breakthroughs.
1. Muhammad Ali repeated an empowering statement
Muhammad Ali famously declared, “I am the greatest,” as part of his self-affirmation strategy. He even released a 1963 album titled I Am the Greatest.
His self-talk shaped his confidence and mental resilience, proving that saying positive phrases on repeat is a form of self-empowerment.
2. Jim Carrey used visualization
Before becoming one of Hollywood’s biggest stars, Jim Carrey was broke and struggling. He wrote himself a $10 million check for “acting services rendered” and repeatedly told himself he would make it big.
This cognitive reframing helped train his brain to expect success.
3. Serena Williams used positive affirmations
Serena Williams has shared her practice of using positive affirmations to maintain a strong mindset.
In a 2015 interview with attn:, she mentioned, “I started using affirmations as the passwords to my phone and my computer… You’ll be surprised how many times a day you log in and have an opportunity to trigger that positivity.”
4. Sooni Mohammed came into self-acceptance
Sooni Mohammed’s negative self-talk made him fear failure, crushing his passion and confidence. When he started Marisa’s Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program on Mindvalley, he nearly quit, believing anything less than perfection wasn’t worth pursuing.
But seeing others embrace imperfection gave him the push to keep going. He realized he was already enough. And by shifting his inner dialogue, he found the courage to move forward, free from the fear of not being perfect.
5. Jo-Anne Coetsee embraced self-love techniques
Jo-Anne Coetsee, too, joined the Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program to improve her self-talk and explore self-love techniques, recognizing that this shift could transform her life. Inspired by Marisa’s teachings, she saw how changing her inner dialogue could open doors to new possibilities.
She embraced the belief that with better self-messaging, anything is achievable. By committing to this mindset, she unlocked a more confident and empowered version of herself.
Expert-backed daily practices to master self-talk
Transforming self-talk is a daily practice, not a one-time fix. Here are a few ways to help you master it and believe in yourself.
Your words make your reality. If you don’t like your reality, change your words.
— Marisa Peer, trainer of Mindvalley’s Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program
1. Mindfulness through meditation
Meditation helps you observe your thoughts without judgment. With it, you develop the ability to pause, acknowledge, and redirect your inner dialogue, whenever you’re in a spiral of criticism.
“You probably know that people who meditate or do yoga have less stress and less illness than people who don’t,” Marisa points out. In fact, studies show that mindfulness can reduce self-criticism and increase self-compassion by strengthening areas of the brain associated with emotional regulation.
This means that with regular meditation, you can harness neuroplasticity to break free from automatic negative thinking and replace it with a calmer, more supportive inner voice.
Try out Marisa’s guided meditation to rewire your narrative:
2. Self-reflection through journaling
Writing down your thoughts helps you process emotions, identify thought patterns, and reframe negative beliefs. It’s powerful for developing emotional intelligence, as it allows you to see your inner dialogue in a tangible way.
There are several methods you can use, such as:
- Daily gratitude journaling. Write three things you appreciate about yourself each day.
- Thought-reframing exercises. When a negative thought appears, write it down and reframe it into a supportive statement.
- Self-reflection prompts. Ask yourself questions like, “What would I tell a friend who had this thought?”
“When you write it and think it and say it, you start to believe it,” Marisa explains, “especially with repetition.”
Unleash your limitless
The way you speak to yourself is the foundation of everything. And if you want to change your circumstances, choose better words.
Marisa’s Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance webinar on Mindvalley is your chance to take back that choice. This free 84-minute session will allow you to experience the legendary RTT™ designed to rewire limiting beliefs and reprogram your mind for success.
Before this program, Nathan Dovey, a business owner in Australia, felt trapped in negative thought patterns and let others undermine him. “Now,” he shares, “I recognize the negative downward spirals and I can immediately pull myself out and focus on the positive outcomes.”
It’s not only worked for Nathan, but RTT™ is the same method used by Olympians, CEOs, and world-class performers.
And it can help you, too… Helping you break free from limiting beliefs and reprogram your mind to propel you forward. As Marisa says, “If you start telling your mind extraordinary things about yourself, you will soon have an extraordinary life.”
Welcome in.
