Do you sometimes have trouble shaking off your self-doubt? If you do, don’t worry—you’re definitely not alone. No matter where you fall on the confidence spectrum, it’s safe to say that we all have our off days.
But what is confidence really all about? How can we learn to boost our self-esteem? Is confidence something we’re born with, or is it something we have to build?
Feeling confident in your skin 24/7 is much easier said than done.
So we’ll take a look at how to realistically define self-confidence and two important steps you can take to start feeling more confident today.
How Do You Define Self-Confidence?
Confidence is difficult to define because it’s more so a feeling than anything else. You’ve either got it or you don’t, right? And the times when we lack confidence can really drag us down.
If we want to define self-confidence, we have to take a look at our own feelings of self-worth, as well as our feelings of self-doubt. Because at the end of the day, that’s really what it’s all about.
How you view confidence is entirely unique to you. And what you feel confident about is also unique to you. You have your own talents, gifts, and areas of expertise. But here’s the thing: we don’t need to be an expert to feel confident.
Why? Because confidence is a person’s ability to believe in themselves and their strength to succeed.
Sure, we feel confident about the things we’re good at. But true confidence has nothing to do with skill or talent. It has to do with the way you feel about yourself.
Does confidence come naturally or is it learned?
For some people, confidence seems to come naturally. For others, it’s something that needs to be worked at and developed.
Is confidence an innate trait? We’ve all got that friend or coworker that oozes confidence. Nothing ruffles their feathers. Criticism seems to just slide right off their backs. They’re unafraid to take risks, try new things, and even when they don’t succeed, they never hesitate to try, try again.
But contrary to popular belief, confidence isn’t a matter or genetic programming. You can change the way you feel about yourself and your ability to succeed.
Confidence can be learned. It can be cultivated, nurtured, and developed. And there’s really no limit to how confident you can learn to become.
As Marisa Peer, Author of Mindvalley’s Uncompromised Life Program says, “Your potential expands as you move towards it. You could never know what you are capable of because as you get into it, your potential allows you to go even further.”
2 Indispensable Tips for Developing More Self-Confidence
So, how can you learn to develop more confidence? These two important tips will get you on the right track.
1. What is confidence for you?
An important first step in building your confidence in finding your own unique brand of confidence.
What is confidence for you? What does it look like? How does it feel? Do you feel confident when you put on a certain hat, coat, or pair of shoes? Do you feel confident when you’re in the middle of a specific activity?
What makes you feel good about yourself? Find the places in your day and in your life that stand out to you as high points—as the places where you feel calm, cool, and totally in control.
2. Identify and challenge negative scripts
Knowing what makes you feel good is important. But know what doesn’t make you feel good is equally as important.
Each of us has a negative commentator in our heads—that nagging little voice that criticizes us. When we stumble, fall, or make a mistake, that voice is there making nasty, feel-bad comments. It’s running negative scripts that destroy our self-esteem.
We really can be our own worst enemy. Learn to identify the negative scripts in your mind and challenge them. Is what you just told yourself really true? Probably not.
Identify that self-criticizing little voice in your head and confront it. You’ll be surprised by just how little it can get away with when you’re prepared to challenge it at every turn.