Do you feel like something’s missing from your sex life? Sure, you can add toys and try out different positions. However, there may just be a better way to amp up your sexual energy and connect more deeply with your partner.
It’s called sexual meditation.
Wha—? Sex and meditation? It’s something that’s not often put together in the same sentence. But according to Emily Fletcher, founder of Ziva Meditation, this powerful tool can help you enhance your sex life.
“I think that, secretly, we think, ‘Well, I shouldn’t be thinking about sex if I’m meditating,’” she says at Mindvalley’s A-Fest 2015 in Pula, Croatia. But letting go of this belief can open the gates to mind-blowing intimacy.
What Is Sexual Meditation?
Sexual meditation isn’t some kinky, weird ritual. It’s simply a technique that involves mindfulness, mantras, and visualization.
Meditation and your sex life are inextricably entwined. The more you start meditating, the more you’ll start accessing the bliss within. And then you’ll have more of it to give to your partner and your fulfillment.
It’s quite contrary to common belief, as Emily points out in her stage talk. She explains that “the number one misconception about meditation is that we think that we should be able to give our minds a command to stop, which is totally impossible.” The mind, just like the heart, functions involuntarily.
Sexual vs. tantric vs. orgasmic meditation
“Sexual,” “tantric,” and “orgasmic”—they’re all part of the sexual vocabulary. However, when it comes to meditation, there are differences.
Here’s a side-by-side comparison of the three:
| Sexual Meditation | Tantric Meditation | Orgasmic Meditation | |
| Focus | Sexual energy | Spiritual energy | Sensual pleasure |
| Goal | Enhancing sex life | Spiritual growth | Connection |
| Technique | Mindfulness | Breathing exercises | Light touch |
| Benefits | Improves sex life | Spiritual growth | More intimacy |
| Popular Programs on Mindvalley | The M Word Quest with Emily Fletcher | Tantra Touch Quest with the late Psalm Isadora | Waves of Pleasure Quest with Bibi Brzozka |
All three meditations can help with your sexual life in different ways. As Emily says, “If meditation can give you rest that is five times deeper than sleep, you’re going to be more awake, you’re going to have more energy to get it on.”
But with sexual meditation, specifically, it can absolutely awaken your inner sex goddess (or god—whichever you identify with).
5 Benefits of Sexual Meditation
Before you dismiss this as another new-age fad, know that there are a number of benefits to sexual meditation practice.
For a closer look, here are five of them, all backed up by science:
- Increased sexual energy. Mindfulness and sex help increase your desire and improve your function. Research has shown that meditation can shift your libido into overdrive.
- Improved focus and concentration. It’s well known that meditation can improve your cognitive abilities as well as your attention span. So when you apply it to sexual activity, it’ll allow you to be in the present moment, which will enhance your sexual experience.
- Reduced anxiety and stress. One meta-analysis found that mindfulness-based therapies can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. So with less stress, it’s likely your sexual function and quality of life will improve as a result.
- Enhanced emotional connection. If you’re looking for a deeper emotional connection with your partner, sexual meditation may just be the key. It helps with feelings of intimacy and bonding.
- Improved physical sensation. With meditation comes greater body awareness, sexual satisfaction, and sexual functioning, according to one study. Simply put, it can help you have a more positive relationship with your body.
With more and more research on the topic, there are so many more benefits being found. So it may just be worth exploring as a way to take your sex life to the next level.
How to Practice Sexual Meditation
Remember, the goal of sexual meditation isn’t about achieving orgasm or having the “perfect” sexual experience (although it can result in them!). It’s not an erotic massage, after all.
On the contrary, this is more of a mindfulness meditation where you’re fully present and connected with your partner.
So how can you get into this practice? In The M Word Quest on Mindvalley, the meditation expert shares two things to do:
1. Balancing breath
If you’ve ever done any breathing exercises, you’ll know that they help calm the mind and bring attention to the present. And according to Emily, it’s “a beautiful way to balance your feminine and masculine energy.”
So with sexual meditation techniques, the first is to focus on your breathing:
- Sit comfortably, ideally with your back supported and your head free.
- Using your thumb, close your right nostril and exhale through your left.
- Then inhale through your left nostril.
- Using your ring finger, close your left nostril and exhale through your right.
- Then inhale through your right nostril.
- Repeat steps two to five a few more times.
“As you inhale, imagine that this breath and this energy are coming in through the base of the spine,” Emily advises. She adds that as your lungs fill with oxygen, imagine the breath and energy traveling up.
And when you switch sides, imagine sending them right out through the middle of your forehead, allowing for a beautiful flow of energy.
2. Guided visualization
Once you’ve got your breathing down, it’s all about visualization. Emily suggests imagining “the most amazing sex you’ve ever had in your whole life.”
It doesn’t necessarily have to be one encounter, but it could be a combination of what you’ve had before.
One thing to keep in mind, though, is to let go of any embarrassment, shame, or guilt that you might have about it. And according to the founder of Ziva Meditation, sexual energy is a normal human experience.
“If [it’s] entered into consciously and if the energetic exchange is generous and kind,” she adds, “it can be a beautiful awakening of internal divinity.”
3 Sexual Meditations on the Mindvalley App
So where can you find sexual energy meditation that you can use from the comfort of your own home? Mindvalley is a great place to go.
As part of the app, there are some of the best guided meditations out there, including sexual ones. And here are three of them you can check out:
1. Preparing for Sensual Experiences | Emily Fletcher
“Even if you don’t have a date planned or if you don’t have some sexy time scheduled in, I would go ahead and do the exercise,” Emily suggests. This meditation allows you to get the hang of it so that you can use it when the opportunity arises.
Enhance this experience: Play the meditation with solfeggio frequencies, which are specific sound tones that help with various aspects of your body’s and mind’s health. One frequency you can play it at is 432 Hz, which helps your body de-stress.
2. Sexual Power | Natalia Sloma
As the name suggests, this meditation was designed to help you embrace your sexual power. Guided by Natalia Sloma, founder of Zentra, it’ll help you:
- Increase your self-awareness,
- Increase your body acceptance, and
- Boost your sexual confidence.
Enhance this experience: Play it at 852 Hz. This solfeggio frequency helps let go of any negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. And as you do so, you may just find inner strength and an awakened intuition.
3. Enhance Sexual Pleasure | Dr. Steve G. Jones
There is plenty of research that shows how helpful mindfulness-based therapies are when it comes to sexual satisfaction. In fact, one study found that it helped with communication, understanding, and awareness.
So this is a great sexual meditation for couples. It’s designed to heighten pleasure and intimacy on another level, as well as deepen your emotional connection with your partner.
Enhance this experience: Opt to play it at 528 Hz, which is also known as “the love frequency.” This solfeggio frequency is believed to cause some major shifts, including increased energy, awareness, creativity, and inner peace.
Better Sex, Better Life
The better the sex, the better your life. And sexual meditation is a great (and easy) way to do so.
Mindvalley has a vast library of meditations, including sex-related ones as well. When you sign up for a free account, you’ll have access to a selected few every day, so you can start connecting with your partner on a whole new level.
What’s more, you’ll also be able to sample the first few lessons of Emily Fletcher’s The M Word Quest. She’ll help you through simple, practical techniques so that you have the clarity, vision, and drive to show up in the world as the best version of yourself.
As Emily says, “We meditate to get good at life, not to get good at meditation.” And Mindvalley is where you can start.
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