“Well, hello! Where have you been?” is what you’ll be asking when you finally awaken your inner sex goddess.
Don’t be totally shocked though because she’s more than just The Deliverer of O’s. She’s your sexual energy a.k.a your zest for life — your ability to feel pleasure, excitement, intrigue, curiosity, and exude so much confidence, your vibes scream out “I am enough!”
Owning your sexual energy is about being at one with your senses. So, whether you’re in a relationship or proudly blasting ‘Single Ladies’ as your anthem, here’s how you can awaken your inner sex goddess:
Let’s break this taboo and talk openly about female sexual energy.
Know What You Want
In order to get what you want, you have to know what you truly want.
Happiness is the root of your desires. But pinpointing your wants and wishes may take a little more than making a list. Here’s what to keep in mind:
[Central sexual energy] is actually our creative energy, my loves. It’s the same thing. So when we’re blocking our sensual and sexual energy, we’re also blocking our creative energy.— Rachel Pringle
Think about ‘what’ you want
Is it sex on the regular? Does it involve toys or costumes? Something more risqué involving a ‘trois’? The feeling of intimacy? A deeper connection?
Ask yourself ‘why’ you want it
. There’s a method called The 5 Whys that gets to the root of your desires. You take your ‘what do you want?’ and apply five ‘why’ questions to it. Here’s an example:
Your ‘what’: “I want sex on the regular.”
- Why #1: Why do you want sex on the regular?
Answer: Because I want to feel sexy.
- Why #2: Why do you want to feel sexy?
Answer: So I can feel good about my body.
- Why #3: Why do you want to feel good about your body?
Answer: Because I want to feel confident.
- Why #4: Why do you want to feel confident?
Answer: So I can feel good about myself.
- Why #5: Why do you want to feel good about yourself?
Answer: So I can love myself.
If you want something that’s really important, the first thing is to start changing your beliefs.— Marisa Peer
So, mindset first and once you pinpoint the things that make you happiest, you’ll have a clearer idea of what aspects of your life need more attention as well as what’s holding you back from awakening your inner sex goddess.
Frankie Says Relax
Frankie Goes To Hollywood may have intended for the song to be about delaying orgasm for men, but they do give out the right message for coitus: relax.
Relax because stress, as the saying goes, is a killer.
Okay, it can’t literally kill you, but it can affect your immune system, digestive system, and brain. And one solution to help you deal with stress? Sex.
Sex is surprisingly beneficial, according to Dr. Amy Killen, an anti-aging and regenerative medicine physician specializing in aesthetics and sexual medicine:
- It’s great for your immune system
- It helps you fight infections
- It decreases your risk of depression
- It helps you sleep better
- It decreases pain
- It decreases blood pressure
Bonus, sex is tied to longer telomere length in women, which is directly linked to longevity.
And with the relief of stress in your life, you’ll make way for a connection with your inner sex goddess.
Enlightenment is a byproduct of you getting rid of stress in your body and coming back to your true, authentic, full potential.— Emily Fletcher
So be present in your body instead of focusing on everything else going on around you. “That’s going to help for women to really relax, feel their own body, and let go [in order to have] mind-blowing orgasms,” says intimacy expert and author of Mindvalley’s Tantra Touch Quest, Psalm Isadora.
And if you need a little help, try mindfulness meditation to help you relax and let go of all that stress so you and your inner sex goddess can come together as one.
Shame in Your Membrane
For many of us, it feels weird to put ourselves before others. Especially in a time like the one we’re living in, how do we convince ourselves “I deserve better than this” when so many people are suffering?
Guilt and forced gratitude, darling, get you nowhere good.
When we repress something, it doesn’t make us better people. It gets compressed into our shadow and is likely to explode from our subconscious in a damaging or violent way.— Psalm Isadora
And as women, we end up suffering from:
- Body shaming
- Slut shaming
- Sexual shame
- Fear of being vulnerable
- Unable to ask for what you want
Your mind is your biggest sex organ. When you get stuck in your head, you make it about you instead of about getting in touch with your inner sex goddess to create a deeper connection with your partner.
So having the right mindset can help you focus on (and authentically enjoy) the pleasures that come during sex. As Psalm says, “get out of your head and back into your vagina.” (And we’re pretty sure that’s what your inner sex goddess has been saying, too!)
Honor Your Inner Sex Goddess
It’s 2021 and talking about female sexual energy — our bodies and the pleasures we get from it — is still somewhat taboo.
Granted, women’s magazines have been covering for years (all those Cosmopolitan’s “How To’s”) and more recently with Gwenyth Paltrow’s the goop lab on Netflix, but ‘vagina,’ ‘labia,’ ‘clitoris’ are still unmentionables when it comes to speaking freely about the female body.
Thankfully though, new research shows that young women are talking about it more frequently with their friends. Because sex and sensuality, despite what we’ve been cultivated into thinking, isn’t anything to be ashamed of.
The self-love we seek is always within us, yearning to be seen, to be heard, to be loved, and to be received by you.— Rachel Pringle
So we invite you to be a part of the feminine awakening happening. Not just a radical one, but a sexual one, too. Let’s normalize sex and stop normalizing shame.
At Mindvalley, you can discover your sensuality with Rachel Pringle, meditation for better sex with Emily Fletcher, understand more about sexual health with Dr. Amy Killen, and even get connected with like-minded people who will empower you to realize your worth.
Because you are beautiful and wonderfully made. You are a sex goddess.