We live in a masculine world where strength is perceived as power, achievement, and success. It’s a world where men and women embody masculine energy and disconnect from their feminine aspects. Because somehow we associate femininity with weakness.
This misconception has led us to a much more profound disconnection from our true essence. On top of that, this inner imbalance creates disharmony in our relationships.
Luckily, we can heal ourselves and our relationships by balancing masculine and feminine energy.
What Is Feminine and Masculine Energy?
Feminine and masculine energies are two polar energies present in everything there is. For example, in major Chinese philosophical concepts, these energies are described as yin and yang—universal opposite but interconnected forces fundamental to any creational process on macro and micro levels.
Essentially, yin represents receptivity, and yang corresponds to giving. So in you, receiving is a manifestation of your feminine, and giving is an action of your masculine. Although we are all born with both energies, you have one predominant energy corresponding to your essence.
Difference between masculine and feminine energy
Since these energies are opposite, they represent contrary aspects. According to Sheila Kelley, a feminine embodiment leader, to understand the difference, you can look at the five primary feminine qualities and their masculine equivalents.
She calls these qualities “feminine superpowers”:
- Curve movement vs. linear movement: The feminine body is shaped curvaceously as it’s designed to attract love. The masculine body is about linear and straight movement, as it’s designed for action.
- Sensuality vs. sensibility: Feminine sensuality dwells within, and their senses are more acute. Evolutionary, women were gatherers, so they had to distinguish between the poisonous berry and the nourishing one, so they sensed through texture and dimension. Men, on the contrary, were hunters, so they developed visual perception and a sense of sensibility.
- Emotibility vs. rationality: The feminine body is made to move emotions through it to create rich and deep love. The masculine equivalent is rationality, as they are designed to be go-getters.
- Connection vs. independence: Women are interdependent. They are wired around cultivating a safe environment and nourishing a community. Men, on the contrary, are more independent. Their connections are shoulder-to-shoulder and mission-driven, rather than community-oriented.
- Intuition vs. logic: Divine feminine is intrinsically intuitive because intuition is accessed through receptivity. Divine masculine, on the other hand, relies on pure logic. It’s through logic and reasoning that they explore and make sense of the world.
Sheila explains that divine femininity is all about the quality of life, and masculinity is about the quantity of life. We should cultivate both to have the fullest and richest experiences.
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What Happens When You Have Harmonious Energies… and What Happens When You Don’t
Having harmonious energies implies a balance between the two. It doesn’t mean equality, as often perceived in Western societies. You can’t have equal amounts of feminine and masculine energies, as there is always a predominant one. But you can fully embody your essential energy in harmony with the opposite.
According to renowned chakra expert Anodea Judith, harmonizing the divine masculine and divine feminine is paramount for your growth and evolution.
“It’s through full embodiment that we connect to the Earth, the sacred ground from where everything comes, and we need a stable holding to grow,” she adds.
She compares it with the plant pot that holds the dirt for the roots to stay in place. The dirt ensures that the water nourishes the roots and keeps the plant stable. So while the feminine energy represents the water, the masculine strength is the roots, and your embodiment of both is a proper holding to grow tall into heaven.
What happens when your energies aren’t harmonized?
You can’t grow and evolve if you are limited to a one-sided way of expressing your potential. On top of that, you can’t create harmonious relationships.
Here are the significant dangers of the imbalance:
- Easily take on the energy of other people and the environment you are in, leaving you disempowered and emotionally drained.
- Put others first and rarely express your needs in a healthy way, which can lead to self-abandonment.
- Feel fearful of speaking your truth and going after what you want
- Push yourself too much, compete with others, being in a constant mode of overachieving. As a result, you feel burned out.
So to maintain a balance between your yin and yang, first, get in touch with your essence, and then you can utilize the opposite energy as a tool. In other words, when you know how to balance your feminine and masculine aspects within you, you will know how to balance feminine and masculine energy in any relationship.
Balancing Your Feminine and Masculine Energy in 8 Steps
Bringing these two opposites together is a long process. It requires your deep understanding of your nature—your wholeness—and commitment to grow your awareness of your habitual ways of self-expression.
Let’s look at eight ways you can bring your feminine and masculine energy into balance:
1. Kill your fear
According to Sheila, the first step is killing fear. She says, “There’s so much fear in women when it comes to embracing their femininity.”
Women learned how to be masculine in a man’s world to be successful, but they also enslaved their essence.
Fear of being seen as weak if you are too feminine is the demon you need to fight within you to liberate yourself. Then you can get access to pleasure, sensuality, and your emotions.
2. Reframe femininity
In modern society, we have identified strength through one lens—a masculine one. As a result, being feminine equals being weak or hysterical.
This misconception of femininity and strength is engraved in our educational system. When boys cry, we tell them that crying is weak. By equipping them with masculine tools, we disconnect them from their emotions.
On the other hand, when girls start exploring and expressing their femininity through their bodies, we shame them. So their intense emotions get explosive because they lose touch with their bodies.
Sheila explains that moving emotions are women’s innate abilities. When you are attuned to your body, you can move it constructively.
Most importantly, women’s abilities to emote and connect represent strength, not weakness, so you want to reframe and rewrite your understanding of femininity.
Essentially, modern women need to get in touch with their divine feminine to reclaim their sexual power, and modern men need to cultivate their divine feminine to connect to their emotions.
3. Practice self-love and self-care
Katherine Woodward Thomas, relationship expert and trainer of Mindvalley’s Calling in The One Quest, highlights that nobody can sustain treating you better than you treat yourself. And it goes beyond self-care.
These are your actual ways of relating to yourself:
- Your habitual ways of speaking to yourself
- The way you respond or do not respond to your own difficult feelings and needs
- Commitments you make or don’t make to fulfill your most profound dreams and desires
- The way you honor or fail to honor promises you made to yourself
- The way you show up for yourself
Self-care and self-love aren’t the same. You cultivate self-love through self-care. It means that you nourish your body, mind, and soul consistently.
When you cultivate unconditional and unapologetic self-love through consistent self-care, you become authentic. And authenticity is the embodiment of your feminine nature and the ability to use masculine tools when needed.
4. Connect with your feminine self in a lucid dream
While you can do things in your waking reality to get in touch with your femininity, you can connect with your divine feminine through lucid dreaming.
Charlie Morley, lucid dreaming expert and trainer of Mindvalley’s Experience Lucid Dreaming Quest, explains that one of the lucid dreaming benefits is shadow integration. In this case, the shadow represents your divine feminine as a repressed part of you, and you can bring it into the light.
He shares that he once had a dream plan to meet his divine feminine during lucid dreaming. When he became lucid, he called her out, and she appeared in front of him as pure female power. This is how he integrated his feminine aspect.
5. Heal your heart chakra
According to Anodea, who’s also the trainer of Mindvalley’s Chakra Healing Quest, when your heart chakra is balanced, you have a healthy ecology of the heart. It means that you’ve integrated different aspects of your personality, such as your vulnerable inner child, your loving parent, your rebellious teenager, and your feminine and masculine aspects.
There are powerful techniques you can use to open and heal your heart. By doing so, you are becoming whole without needing another person to complete you.
According to Dr. Michael Beckwith, founder of the Agape International Spiritual Center and trainer of Mindvalley’s Life Visioning Mastery Quest, we grow, develop, unfold, and move to higher consciousness through these four stages:
- To Me (Victim Consciousness): Life is happening to you
- By Me (Manifestor Consciousness): Life is happening by you
- Through Me (Channeler Consciousness): Life is happening through you
- As Me (Being Consciousness): You are one with life as you
The stage “Through Me” is the feminine stage—you begin to understand that something is seeking to operate through you.
“This is how you are coming to a greater understanding of surrender, allowing, and letting,” he adds.
In other words, as you cultivate your ability to surrender, you cultivate your divine feminine aspect. It doesn’t mean you stop manifesting your dreams and desires through actions. It means you come to a place of balance where you surrender to a greater plan and take action when required.
7. Develop intuition
Intuition is an intrinsically feminine quality. Like feminine energy, it’s part of who you are, regardless of gender. You may not see yourself as intuitive (feminine) because we’ve been taught to live as fifth-sensory people.
Sonia Choquette, intuition expert and trainer of Mindvalley’s Sixth Sense Superpower Quest, explains that many people live fearful lives full of self-doubt, isolation, and disconnection. Why? Because they operate primarily from their ego brain.
When you allow your intuition to guide you, you experience more creativity and productivity and less fear and stress. Your heart is open, and your life flows smoothly. In other words, you become balanced in making things happen and allowing things to happen in the most graceful way possible.
8. Activate your core
Juan Pablo Barahona, transformational spiritual leader and trainer of Mindvalley’s Ultra Presence Quest, calls your energetic core the Core-set. He explains that it gives you fire and passion in life, and this inner fire is much more powerful than motivation and discipline.
When you cultivate your core, you start living your authentic self, full of energy and creativity.
Your core is comprised of the three lower chakras, where the energy gets stagnant and blocked, and you can release that energy and start moving it into your heart.
Energy doesn’t get destroyed; it transforms. Once you release it, it becomes the energy of creation and manifestation.— Juan Pablo Barahona, trainer of Mindvalley’s Ultra Presence Quest
From your heart center, it ascends further into your upper chakras—your throat chakra, the third eye chakra, and the crown chakra.
This is how you cultivate your inner power—whole and balanced.
7 Daily Rituals for Balancing Energies
Your commitment to balancing your feminine and masculine starts today, and there are daily rituals you can do to become whole.
Dancing is the tool that helps you surrender to your intuitive guidance. Sonia calls it “dancing in the fire and the heat of resistance.” She explains that dancing helps you surrender to the energy that moves you and stop overthinking. As we’ve explored, living from your head solidifies your masculine aspect, relying solely on logic.
On the contrary, when you dance, you free yourself from your ego and learn how to move with the energy in the moment, and that’s the energy you need to cultivate intuition.
2. Feel into your heart
According to Anodea, unlike the human brain, that’s dualistic by nature, your heart represents wholeness. When you are in your head, you are naturally split. When you drop into your heart, you become whole. Just feeling into your heart space and breathing into your heart can help you harmonize your opposite energies.
Michael Beckwith explains that at the feminine stage of By Me, meditation is crucial.
Through the meditative process, you keep your inner hygiene to keep yourself mentally, emotionally, and energetically clean and open to allow higher consciousness to operate through you.
Meditation becomes a foundation for your life visioning process. It’s like taking your daily shower or brushing your teeth.— Michael Beckwith, trainer of Mindvalley’s Life Visioning Mastery Quest
The more you meditate, the more you cultivate your ability to allow things to happen through you instead of your habitual way of controlling your life.
4. Notice your breath
Breath can teach you to balance your polarities, as it represents the cyclical nature of life and the oneness of your feminine and masculine. Marisa Peer, the best British hypnotherapist and trainer of Mindvalley’s Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance Quest, uses the metaphor of breath, where inhale represents receiving and exhale corresponds to giving.
When you breathe, you can’t only inhale or exhale; you do both. So, when you notice your breath, remember this metaphor to remind yourself of this intrinsic balance.
5. Practice pyramid breathwork
Breathwork is a powerful tool to heal your divine feminine. According to Rachel Pringle, Embodiment Coach and trainer of Mindvalley’s Wild Women Sensuality Quest, when you get trauma, your body becomes contracted, and you carry this energy throughout your life. Pyramid breathwork helps you release that energy and heal your divine femininity.
How to do it:
- Find a sacred place in your home where you can do this practice every day.
- Close your eyes and surrender to the rhythm of your body.
- Take deep, powerful inhalations through your mouth, moving your spine forward or to the sides.
- Take relaxed exhales, sounding them out, opening your mouth, and releasing tension from your roots.
- Do 33 rounds of breath.
- On your last inhale, take a deep breath and hold it in.
- Breathe it out and hold it empty.
- In that space, as you hold your breath, repeat this mantra in your mind: “I can choose to empower myself.”
- Take another big inhale and shake your body.
6. Say “No” when you want to say “No”
Juan Pa explains that your balance comes from a place of your inner truth. There is time to say “No,” and there’s time to say “Yes.”
When your masculine energy is imbalanced, your “No” comes from a place of ego. Also, when you say “Yes” to things you want to say “No” to, your “Yes” is driven by fear of rejection. So you want to listen to yourself before you agree or disagree to do something.
The more you listen to your inner truth, the more balanced you will become.
7. Remember your divine feminine energy
According to Regan Hillyer, serial entrepreneur and trainer of Mindalley’s The Art of Manifesting Quest, when you remember that the divine feminine is your natural state, you start honoring this energy in your everyday life.
The more you truly honor and remember this, the more you shift deeper into a physical embodiment of this, and the more you can activate your gifts and stay connected to your divine path of service.— Regan Hillyer, trainer of Mindalley’s The Art of Manifesting Quest
You may feel that this energy is dormant. To activate it from within, you need to deeply listen to your internal desires—the desires of your soul.
She explains that you must listen to your authentic truth and your purpose in life and then, utilize your divine masculine energy to take action. But you do it from a place of connection with your divine feminine.
Unleash your Hidden Powers with Mindvalley
Balancing your masculine and feminine energies is the art of inner alchemy. As Regan puts it, it starts with remembering and honoring your powers every day.
It’s a life-long learning process that you can start today by joining Mindvalley’s trainers, such as Juan Pablo Barahona, Regan Hillyer, and Rachel Pringle, who can help you unleash your hidden powers and cultivate them.
Check it for yourself by unlocking your free Mindvalley access and trying sample classes of Ultra Presence, The Art of Manifesting, Wild Women Sensuality, and many other quests designed to help you live and create from your authentic self.
Images generated on Midjourney.