A few days ago, I was standing in a dry riverbed in Namibia.
Watching a herd of elephants move across the sand.
No noise.
No competition.
No visible struggle for power.
Just… flow.
Twenty animals moving as one.
And at the front?
Not the biggest elephant.
Not the strongest.
Not the most aggressive.
The oldest female.
And in that moment, something clicked.
What if everything we’ve been taught about leadership is backwards?
The leader who doesn’t perform
Here’s what fascinated me.
The matriarch wasn’t acting like a leader.
She wasn’t posturing.
She wasn’t signaling dominance.
She wasn’t trying to look powerful.
She wasn’t even trying.
She was simply keeping everyone alive.
Namibian desert elephants are among the most extraordinary animals on Earth.
They survive in one of the harshest environments imaginable.
They can go up to four days without water. They walk hundreds of kilometers across barren land. They dig wells in dry riverbeds to access water hidden beneath the sand
And here’s the wild part:
The herd survives because one female remembers where to go.
Water sources humans don’t even know exist.
Migration routes passed down through memory.
Patterns encoded over decades.
When a matriarch dies too early…
The herd doesn’t just grieve.
It gets lost.
The knowledge dies with her.
Nature’s hidden leadership model
It turns out… elephants aren’t unique.
Across the animal kingdom, something fascinating appears.
The most intelligent, social mammals, the ones that rely on cooperation, memory, and emotional bonds, evolve toward female-led systems.
And in humans?
It goes even further.
The rarest trait in Nature
Out of more than 5,000 mammal species on Earth, only a handful have evolved menopause.
Humans.
Killer whales.
Pilot whales.
Belugas.
Narwhals.
That’s it.
Now think about this.
Evolution is ruthless.
It eliminates anything that doesn’t serve survival.
So why would it turn off reproduction in a female who still has decades of life ahead?
We assume menopause is a ‘decline’. A biological shutdown.
But it turns out, it’s an upgrade.
Scientists call this the Grandmother Hypothesis.
In certain species, older females become so valuable to survival not by giving birth, but by giving guidance, that evolution rewired their biology on purpose to free them from reproduction.
So they could lead.
Let that sink in.
Evolution didn’t make a mistake.
It made a decision.
Stop reproducing. Your value now is wisdom.
The pattern we can’t ignore
Look at the species where this shows up:
Elephants. Whales. Humans.
The three most socially complex mammals on Earth.
They all:
- Live in multi-generational families
- Communicate across distance
- Form lifelong bonds
- Mourn their dead
- Depend on shared knowledge to survive
And when left to evolve naturally…
They all arrive at the same answer:
Put the wisest female in front.
Not a decline. A promotion.
Now let’s bring this home.
When a woman goes through menopause…
We treat it as a decline.
Loss.
A closing chapter.
But biologically?
Something profound is happening.
Her role isn’t shrinking.
It’s expanding.
She is being freed from reproduction to focus on something far more important:
Protecting.
Guiding.
Stabilizing the group.
And here’s the truth most people miss:
Evolution does not keep anything alive that isn’t useful.
So the fact that women live 30–40 years beyond reproduction tells us something extraordinary:
Those decades are not leftover time. They are mission-critical years.
In whale pods, when a post-menopausal female dies, her sons are significantly more likely to die within a year.
In early human tribes, older women were the living libraries of survival.
They carried memories.
And memory meant life.
So no, Menopause isn’t the end.
It’s the promotion into leadership.
So what happened to us?
Because if this is what we evolved for…
Why does our world look so different?
Why do we consistently choose leaders based on:
Dominance, Charisma, Visibility, and Performance.
Instead of:
Wisdom, Memory, Emotional intelligence, and Long-term thinking.
Of 194 countries, only about 10% are led by women.
We didn’t evolve this way.
We constructed this.
The lie about emotion
And here’s where it gets uncomfortable.
One of the most common arguments against female leadership is this:
“Women are too emotional.”
So let’s look at the data.
Globally:
75% of suicides are male. Men die by suicide at 4x the rate of women.
Men commit ~90% of homicides.
Over 95% of road rage incidents are male
That’s not emotion.
That’s unprocessed emotion
Research shows:
| Men suppress | Women process |
| Men avoid | Women regulate |
So let me ask you a question:
Which gender is actually struggling more with emotional control?
We’ve created a world where:
The group more likely to explode under emotional pressure is called “rational.”
The group better at processing emotion is called “too emotional.”
That’s not logic. That’s conditioning.
Two operating systems
This isn’t about men vs women.
It’s about how you lead.
There are two leadership operating systems:
| 1. Performance Leadership – Speed – Dominance – Competition – Control It asks: Who wins? | 2. Matriarch Leadership – Wisdom – Memory – Empathy – Long-term thinking It asks: What sustains? |
Both exist in all of us.
But look at the world today, and ask yourself honestly:
Which one are we rewarding?
Why this matters now
Because we are entering a different kind of world.
AI is reshaping industries.
Climate instability is accelerating.
Global systems are shifting fast.
This is no longer a game of conquest.
It’s a game of survival.
And survival doesn’t favor the loudest voice.
It favors the clearest one.
The one who remembers.
The one who sees patterns.
The one who knows when to move and when to wait.
That’s the matriarch.
The moment this becomes personal
Because this isn’t just about governments.
It’s about you.
At some point in your life, the game changes.
You stop needing to prove.
You stop needing to win.
And you start needing to: guide, protect, and elevate others
That’s the shift.
From:
Performer → Steward
Competitor → Guardian
Leader → Matriarch energy
(Yes, even if you’re a man.)
The question that actually matters
Standing there in that riverbed…
Watching that herd move as one…
I wasn’t watching animals.
I was watching a system that works.
A system tested over millions of years.
And it kept pointing to the same truth:
Experience over ego
Memory over speed
Collective care over dominance
So the real question isn’t: “Should women lead?”
The real question is: What kind of leadership do we need now?
Because nature already answered that.
And she’s been right every single time.
If this made you pause, question, or see leadership differently… share your reflection and leave a comment. Those conversations are where real shifts begin.
With Love,
P.S. Many of you have been asking about Mindvalley U: the two-week festival we run every summer in Tallinn, Estonia, happening from July 20 – Aug 2, 2026.
This year, we saw a massive jump in ticket sales. It seems people are craving real community more than ever. We now have only a few Early Bird tickets left, but only until April 12th. After that, the early bird ends.
Mindvalley U is unlike anything else out there. It was originally built for families, and it still is. Still, it’s equally transformative for solo entrepreneurs and anyone who wants to grow surrounded by people who take their lives seriously.
Over two weeks, you’ll learn from 50+ Mindvalley authors, connect with an extraordinary global community, and experience what we call Mindvalley magic, the unforgettable parties, unique experiences, and the kind of aliveness that’s hard to put into words.
261 Responses
So good!
This is such a beautiful analysis and it’s very true. If you see around the world women led countries are ranking the happiest like Finland, Iceland. As you said it’s about survival and progress women have paved their ways in this patriarchal world and achieve great heights in personal professional world. So yes I believe women are better leaders.
This is more than a story—it’s a strategic mirror.
What you’ve articulated here goes beyond gender and into the architecture of leadership itself. The distinction between “performance leadership” and “matriarch leadership” is particularly striking, especially in the context of where the world is heading.
In business, we’ve optimized for short-term wins—quarterly results, visible authority, rapid execution. But as systems become more complex and interconnected, the cost of ignoring memory, pattern recognition, and emotional intelligence becomes significantly higher.
The matriarch model you describe is not soft—it’s deeply strategic. It is built on continuity, resilience, and informed decision-making under uncertainty.
What resonates most is the idea that leadership evolves—from proving capability to enabling survival and growth of others. That transition is rarely discussed, yet it is critical at senior levels.
Perhaps the real opportunity is not choosing between these two operating systems, but consciously knowing when to switch between them.
This post is a timely reminder that the future may not belong to the loudest leaders—but to the wisest ones.
This is beautiful and fascinating.
As a post-menopausal female, I had to step down in my senior leadership role because I felt I had “lost my power”. It was a huge moment for me and took me to one of the lowest places I have ever been in my life. What I was actually doing when I stepped down as COO, was taking control back. I had lost control because others were pulling it away and taking over and the person in charge was totally fine to let that happen. I was honest and I wasn’t toing the line, so I was punished. I didn’t want to fight like this. I didn’t want to play dress up! I just wanted to run a business! So I stepped down and took control. The boss then set timing for me to be gone. My salary was cut. I am the only financial provider in my family. It was very, very difficult. It felt personal, it felt like betrayal and it felt like all the years I had given my all, were unappreciated. It was a very low point in my life until I took that control back. I thought to myself, if I needed power, then I can have power – just not there! I can get it elsewhere by taking control of my life back. By not putting everything into my job. That was ages ago and I am still useful and still have purpose and the boss has gone having sold up and taken their millions. What is really interesting about this? All the other leaders were also women. One of them talked me down, the other talked over me and one just didn’t say anything. They all “supported” me when they were on their own with me. They all supported me with the boss tried to get me out. So they had my back, it just didn’t feel like it when I was at my lowest. Part of my journey was joining MindValley and it taught me a lot. It filled in some gaps that moved my thinking from feelings and senses, to solid theory and practice. It helped me and the timing was perfect. I took control of my own life – because that is the only life I had control over – and I moved forward. I no longer worry about the future. I focus on the here and now and help people as and when I can. I haven’t written this out before but when I read this blog, it triggered the feelings of being in the lead without the need or desire for the competition, control or dominance. I lead with wisdom and caring and with the people I lead at the heart of my ambitions. If I can help them, then I have been useful:)
Wow, this is amazing how I came to the comments and stopped exactly at yours! And guess what? I am facing the same situation like you did in the past, I had the courage of saying the truth, what everybody else saw but never dared to say outloud and became “redundant” for this. I am on the same path of rediscovbering myself and I just stopped to say “thank you” for sharing this, thank you for keeping your values intact and moving forward with your head up! I hope we get to see the day that the society and leadership has changed to a different place, to a matriarchy and a better place for all of us, recognizing the truth, the honesty and human kindness and softness as real powers, not just “too emotional” and “weak”.
Great text. I just heard Heide Göttner-Abendroth, who wrote about matriarchy and founded with 7 institutions an activist platform “Matriarchy NOW” for changing the world right now.
Thanks Margit
Hi Vishen
First of all congratulations to touch on the seed germination memory. This is my term designed purely out of my gut feeling instinctively right now, not joking. U have been serving some great insights as a male who has touched his feminine energy and I could see and feel it even before I checked your content. And it’s not just you the feminine energy is reviving revoked by the primordial dominance of raw energy suppressed controlled outcasted and outlawed but those who did that forgot that the law structure created is essentially 13 th step to where original law comes from and that’s embedded in every minor quark in the name what scientists call dark energy. I m living my fullest potential now and am ready to dismantle the flawed structure created around power, dominance, rigidity and graveness becoming the leadership ingredients, the language we speak across the world is designed exactly to either elevate or suppress and the manual to it has been buried so that the access manual is navar available for elevation and the same science for uplifting and elevation can be used to control and exploit. Trust me their game is over.
See the situation across the world. It’s gonna worsen because those who manipulated need to receive back with interest not 10 times but 12 times compounding. Here we are with the revival mission.
It’s like both energies are co existing and the power grids are shifting astrally beyond what any alchemist can even see because it’s multilayed and no1 can catch coz wherever they will stop that 12 layers and that too non symmetric. The game that they played wasn’t even a game. It’s illusion and the correction is already underway. Theirs no Mars and no Moon keep throwing paper and fooling people because AI is the 14th layer that’s silicon. This is not the first time and it’s nott gonna be the last either. So Njy the journey. I know seeing all suffer is painful and dreadful and especially for those who have kids and are attached to them. But once u realise it’s the Star war u seize to fear and work on energy which is combo of frequency of sound vibration of dark matter and walelength of photons all sychronise like atoms of Helium joing together at almost impossible precision to form Carbon that is the reason u life exists and can b traced. Once u start integrating that seeing everything as separate u realise it’s a shift needed for earth to b arth which means meaning in hindi and that’s what it is designed for. To find the meaning which is nothing is everything. Simple
Vishen, I love that you are talking about this. You have a strong voice, you reach many people, and I am grateful you are helping to change the narrative here. Collectively, I think we are too hard on ourselves. We are meant to grow, change, evolve, renew, revive and re-establish our choices. Each decade brings something new. We accept this in our children, but then berate ourselves for the same. Perhaps by championing the beauty of this growth, we can also remember to take our loved ones on the journey with us. It’s hard at times, and confusing, but in community we can be empowered rather than deflated. I would be happy to support you with this.
Wow profound & honest account! Wonderful experience to truly witness & embrace the elephant herd tribe with deep gratitude & contemplation. I feel unity with compassion for all species is progression in the best direction possible. LOVE 💖 PEACE ☮️ UNITE ✨
This is really inspiring
I am seeing myself in a new light
Thanks so much Vishen
Hiya Vishen, thank you for this beautiful insight from my country of birth – Africa. The land where nature is battling to survive, due to greed, ego and ignorance.
(Born in Northern Rhodesia /Zambia but reside just down the road from Namibia in South Africa.)
I asked the question some 25 or so years ago, ‘what is the purpose of my life?’ Actually, a little tantrum at the Universe and I don’t know what I was expecting to hear, see or witness, but there was silence. Just silence.
Little did I know then that my energy, my vibrations, my voice, that mental outburst caused the necessary vibrations sending endless ripples out to the Universe.
Little did I know then that once you make a decision the Universe conspires to make it happen
Little did I know then that a series of events, happenings, circumstances started to occur. Each one unfolding and evolving into what appeared to be stepping stones, important landmarks. Later I was to realized that these little stepping stones as they collected piled up merged and integrated would form the sound foundation of where I am now.
Like jig saw pieces fitting into my big Jig saw puzzle of life.
Each piece fitting into the next
Each teacher arriving exactly on time
Each lesson perfect
Each teaching and learning had purpose and meaning
I realized I was on purpose
The Universe took me on an expedition of adventuring and journeying
a voyage of self discovery and personal growth, questioning all that I had been told was true, politically and sociality correct….. When asking a simple question – ‘is it true?’ The answer was ‘No’ – it was man made to suit what ever the ‘in thing’ was at the time.
But, in amongst this confusion and turmoil, one thing remained True – Nature.
Nature is always true to itself.
It follows rhythms and cycles
It is real
It just is.
(taken from my story ~ ‘Finding Jenn’)
So bearing this in mind and reading your stories recently there are several which resonates and are in line with nature, but then there is the side of AI – which you are promoting and excited about. Isn’t that a conflict – nature vs artificial.
Artificial can not survive and evolve as nature has. And even if it does, it will always be artificial. Where does that leave us as an Intelligent species, evolving into what? AI is already thinking for us, so won’t we loose the power of wisdom, reasoning, rationalizing, working things out
You stand in the riverbed and see nature at its best. The sunsets, the sunrises, the smell of rain after a storm, the herd knowing where and when.
Why aren’t we working with nature?
The frequency of Magnificence.
Preserving all that has been given to us for free.
As a Namibian and a longtime follower of Mindvalley, I’m so happy you have been in Namibia to see and experience our desert elephant Vishen! And of course our country has a female matriarch President, of whom we are deeply proud! Thank you for your work and for this amazing post!
I love today’s vlog. This showed me a new perception of looking the leadership. And the statistics behind the emotional strength shows the need to look upon how the society pressures with the standards on the mental health of both men and women.
I, too, have seen the elephants, but in Sri Lanka, and the calm with which they move is amazing. As a menopausal
Matriarch myself, I am moving into the ‘guidance through experience’ role. Women around the world need to be more appreciated and utilized for their innate gift of emotional regulation, care and understanding. I feel that there would be less war, hunger and poverty if women were given the chance to lead.
This is the best thing I’ve ever read on leadership. Thank you Vishen, this article has truly been a gift.
Bula Vishen n MV Thinktank
It takes courage to own up to some truths and this is appreciated.
Am a gender researcher and Applied Linguist , an academic from the Pacific/ Oceania .
Pacifica women live and participate in culturally infused style of leadership platforms, community based leadership practices as opposed to Western frameworks that are all about power, visibility and control .Typical patriarchal governance model. Just take a look at what is happening on a global scale and the lead actors .All devoid of any humane spirit. Women have known it all along 🙂 Loloma Gina Naidu
I’m an international mountain guide in her late 50’s and this article really helped me understand why I am spending so much time and energy on how to be a better and more empathic leader in a male-dominated industry (that I’ve been part of for decades). I have this idea that I am here to catch and steady the ball – then pass it on to my up and coming team mates. This article was empowering. I doubt myself sometimes but I think that helps me focus on what is important in the moment – and in the big picture. Thanks for the great article for wãhine toa! I’m bummed I missed the AI summit. I was leading in the mountains (from the back!)
Love this! I’m currently reading a book entitled “Why Not Women?” …. I love how this comes alongside it with such logic regarding emotional processing vs suppression etc. And I especially love this reframe on menopause! beautiful!
Thank you for sharing insightful article !
Balance between feminine and masculine is key however life has a way to take us off tangent, Self awareness and supporting actions helps bring that balance back 🙂
Vishan : Use your AI force to help end the Iran war through women’s representation.
Support the USA and the global community in bringing this war to an end.
I come from a background in communication, as a graduate of the Team Management and Leadership Program at Landmark Worldwide.
I am committed to creating communication that contributes to ending the Iran war.
Donald Trump addressed the Iranian people, stating, “The hour of your freedom is at hand.”
On February 28, 2026, U.S. President Donald Trump appealed to the people of Iran to “take over” their government, amid what he described as major combat operations conducted by the United States and Israel against Iran. In a message directed to the Iranian public, he stated:
“When we are finished, take over your government — it will be yours to take,” calling it a “noble mission” to transform the leadership.
Through this platform of communication and curriculum, I declare the end of the US–Israel–Iran war by Sunday, through women’s representation.
I declare the formation of Women’s Parliament at all levels of governance:
Women Lok Sabha
Women Rajya Sabha
Women State Legislative Assemblies
Women Municipal Corporations
Women Panchayats
Women Housing Society Committees
I further declare the formation of Women’s Parliament in all countries of the world—India, Iran, Afghanistan, the USA, the UK, Australia, Africa, and South America—across all cities, villages, and local communities.
I invite and seek collaboration from everyone on this planet who can contribute to this global movement for change.
I love today’s blog! I know every word you’ve said is true because I’m 20+ years on the other side of it, but I fear many other women don’t because they haven’t been encouraged by others. thank you for being that encouragement!