A few weeks ago, a short clip I posted hit half a million views.
In it, I asked a simple question: Are women really the more emotional gender?
The response was… something. Hundreds of thousands of views and shares. Comments from people saying “I’ve been thinking this for years but never said it out loud”
And I get it. Because we’ve all absorbed the same story: that women are led by their feelings, that emotions make them unfit for the boardroom, the war room, the Oval Office.
But here’s what that story conveniently ignores.
Men start virtually every war on Earth. Men make up over 90% of the prison population in most countries. Men die by suicide at two to four times the rate of women, globally. Men commit the overwhelming majority of violent crimes.
If we’re measuring emotional dysregulation, that’s the data.
Now, I’m not saying this to shame men. I’m a man. I’m saying it because we’ve been telling the wrong story for a very long time. And the cost of that story isn’t just unfair; it may be genuinely dangerous.
Because here’s what I didn’t cover in the clip.
While I was in Namibia, standing in a dry riverbed watching a herd of desert elephants cross in front of me, something cracked open in my thinking. At the front of the herd wasn’t the biggest elephant. Wasn’t the most aggressive. It was the oldest female. The matriarch. And she was keeping 20 lives from ending in the desert not through dominance, but through memory.
That image sent me down a rabbit hole of biology, evolutionary science, and data I genuinely wasn’t prepared for.
Like the fact that out of more than 5,000 mammal species on Earth, only five have evolved menopause: humans, killer whales, pilot whales, belugas, and narwhals. And scientists now believe this wasn’t an accident. It was a decision evolution made: stop reproducing. Your value is now wisdom.
Or the killer whale data: when a post-menopausal female dies, her adult sons, apex predators, top of the food chain, are 14 times more likely to die within the following year.
Fourteen times.
Without grandma, they fall apart.
And yet, of 194 countries on Earth, only about 10% are led by women.
I made a 14-minute video going deep on all of this: the biology, the matriarch elephant, the killer whale research, the grandmother hypothesis, and what it means for how we think about leadership, aging, and the second half of life.
It’s one of the most important things I’ve put out this year. Not because it’s provocative, but because the science is extraordinary, and almost no one is talking about it.
I’d love to know what hits you hardest. Leave a comment on the video. I read every single one of them.
