A few days ago, I was standing in a dry riverbed in Namibia.
Watching a herd of elephants move across the sand.
No noise.
No competition.
No visible struggle for power.
Just… flow.
Twenty animals moving as one.
And at the front?
Not the biggest elephant.
Not the strongest.
Not the most aggressive.
The oldest female.
And in that moment, something clicked.
What if everything we’ve been taught about leadership is backwards?
The leader who doesn’t perform
Here’s what fascinated me.
The matriarch wasn’t acting like a leader.
She wasn’t posturing.
She wasn’t signaling dominance.
She wasn’t trying to look powerful.
She wasn’t even trying.
She was simply keeping everyone alive.
Namibian desert elephants are among the most extraordinary animals on Earth.
They survive in one of the harshest environments imaginable.
They can go up to four days without water. They walk hundreds of kilometers across barren land. They dig wells in dry riverbeds to access water hidden beneath the sand
And here’s the wild part:
The herd survives because one female remembers where to go.
Water sources humans don’t even know exist.
Migration routes passed down through memory.
Patterns encoded over decades.
When a matriarch dies too early…
The herd doesn’t just grieve.
It gets lost.
The knowledge dies with her.
Nature’s hidden leadership model
It turns out… elephants aren’t unique.
Across the animal kingdom, something fascinating appears.
The most intelligent, social mammals, the ones that rely on cooperation, memory, and emotional bonds, evolve toward female-led systems.
And in humans?
It goes even further.
The rarest trait in Nature
Out of more than 5,000 mammal species on Earth, only a handful have evolved menopause.
Humans.
Killer whales.
Pilot whales.
Belugas.
Narwhals.
That’s it.
Now think about this.
Evolution is ruthless.
It eliminates anything that doesn’t serve survival.
So why would it turn off reproduction in a female who still has decades of life ahead?
We assume menopause is a ‘decline’. A biological shutdown.
But it turns out, it’s an upgrade.
Scientists call this the Grandmother Hypothesis.
In certain species, older females become so valuable to survival not by giving birth, but by giving guidance, that evolution rewired their biology on purpose to free them from reproduction.
So they could lead.
Let that sink in.
Evolution didn’t make a mistake.
It made a decision.
Stop reproducing. Your value now is wisdom.
The pattern we can’t ignore
Look at the species where this shows up:
Elephants. Whales. Humans.
The three most socially complex mammals on Earth.
They all:
- Live in multi-generational families
- Communicate across distance
- Form lifelong bonds
- Mourn their dead
- Depend on shared knowledge to survive
And when left to evolve naturally…
They all arrive at the same answer:
Put the wisest female in front.
Not a decline. A promotion.
Now let’s bring this home.
When a woman goes through menopause…
We treat it as a decline.
Loss.
A closing chapter.
But biologically?
Something profound is happening.
Her role isn’t shrinking.
It’s expanding.
She is being freed from reproduction to focus on something far more important:
Protecting.
Guiding.
Stabilizing the group.
And here’s the truth most people miss:
Evolution does not keep anything alive that isn’t useful.
So the fact that women live 30–40 years beyond reproduction tells us something extraordinary:
Those decades are not leftover time. They are mission-critical years.
In whale pods, when a post-menopausal female dies, her sons are significantly more likely to die within a year.
In early human tribes, older women were the living libraries of survival.
They carried memories.
And memory meant life.
So no, Menopause isn’t the end.
It’s the promotion into leadership.
So what happened to us?
Because if this is what we evolved for…
Why does our world look so different?
Why do we consistently choose leaders based on:
Dominance, Charisma, Visibility, and Performance.
Instead of:
Wisdom, Memory, Emotional intelligence, and Long-term thinking.
Of 194 countries, only about 10% are led by women.
We didn’t evolve this way.
We constructed this.
The lie about emotion
And here’s where it gets uncomfortable.
One of the most common arguments against female leadership is this:
“Women are too emotional.”
So let’s look at the data.
Globally:
75% of suicides are male. Men die by suicide at 4x the rate of women.
Men commit ~90% of homicides.
Over 95% of road rage incidents are male
That’s not emotion.
That’s unprocessed emotion
Research shows:
| Men suppress | Women process |
| Men avoid | Women regulate |
So let me ask you a question:
Which gender is actually struggling more with emotional control?
We’ve created a world where:
The group more likely to explode under emotional pressure is called “rational.”
The group better at processing emotion is called “too emotional.”
That’s not logic. That’s conditioning.
Two operating systems
This isn’t about men vs women.
It’s about how you lead.
There are two leadership operating systems:
| 1. Performance Leadership – Speed – Dominance – Competition – Control It asks: Who wins? | 2. Matriarch Leadership – Wisdom – Memory – Empathy – Long-term thinking It asks: What sustains? |
Both exist in all of us.
But look at the world today, and ask yourself honestly:
Which one are we rewarding?
Why this matters now
Because we are entering a different kind of world.
AI is reshaping industries.
Climate instability is accelerating.
Global systems are shifting fast.
This is no longer a game of conquest.
It’s a game of survival.
And survival doesn’t favor the loudest voice.
It favors the clearest one.
The one who remembers.
The one who sees patterns.
The one who knows when to move and when to wait.
That’s the matriarch.
The moment this becomes personal
Because this isn’t just about governments.
It’s about you.
At some point in your life, the game changes.
You stop needing to prove.
You stop needing to win.
And you start needing to: guide, protect, and elevate others
That’s the shift.
From:
Performer → Steward
Competitor → Guardian
Leader → Matriarch energy
(Yes, even if you’re a man.)
The question that actually matters
Standing there in that riverbed…
Watching that herd move as one…
I wasn’t watching animals.
I was watching a system that works.
A system tested over millions of years.
And it kept pointing to the same truth:
Experience over ego
Memory over speed
Collective care over dominance
So the real question isn’t: “Should women lead?”
The real question is: What kind of leadership do we need now?
Because nature already answered that.
And she’s been right every single time.
If this made you pause, question, or see leadership differently… share your reflection and leave a comment. Those conversations are where real shifts begin.
With Love,
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261 Responses
Yes. Women are the technology we’re looking for
This needs to be spread far and wide . Countries with female leaders seem to be doing better.
Lo mejor de esta newsletter, ha sido leer después los comentarios. Gente extraordinaria dejando su huella. Que valioso!
Dear Vishen – Thank you for always backing up YOUR wisdom and truth with data. Always good points made to better humanity. Women are rising, there is no doubt about that, but I am also experiencing division in females and males. I believe we need balance. Leaders can be men and women, not domination as you said. Sometimes I feel the whoosh is race to get women up into power and it isn’t done in a mindful creating competing tension amongst the women. I do believe there is truth in what you are saying about older women and the wisdom they hold. They do!
In my experience (and maybe the shift is already happening) is the imbalance in equity. From npr.org “According to the most recent data from the Census Bureau, women working full-time, year-round, now earn 81 cents for every dollar men earn. That’s down from 83 cents a year ago, and 84 cents the year prior.” Women lost ground this year. Women are more than stay at home moms, babymakers, homemakers amongst other things. The world is changing and again in my experience a lot of people don’t like change especially when it doesn’t benefit them. My question is…how do we inspire to influence change in those people, so they WANT to make it change and not be forced to? How is AI impacting this change? AI is creating freedom for those at the top and trailblazers, but is it truly creating the connection we need for those at hte bottom handling more than they prob should be for lesser pay? How do we get the tools and skillset into their hands, so it is a more level playing ground? Food for thought.
Great article, thought provoking as always. THANK YOU! Hope all is well.
This is what we’ve intuitively known all along, but have been too stubborn to admit. Thank you for speaking truth over the lies that have existed for centuries about the role of women in the evolvement of the human species!
Dear Vishen
Thank you for stating the less-than-obvious so clearly. This is easily the most profound piece of writing I have laid my eyes upon in a significantly long time. As a childless woman soon entering menopause, it took me a long time to make peace with the fact that I will not bare children in this lifetime. It hurt when I read that people who don’t have children need to work harder in life to find purpose and meaning. And that is okay. Especially af6er reading your article. Because, I have always known that my purpose lies somewhere else. Somewhere bigger. There is no point in getting distracted from it by focusing on raising a child, if there are already too many people on the face of this earth. And not necessarily mentally healthy ones. I myself am not mentally healthy enough to take full responsibility for raising a functional human being, but as someone with a vast interest in Psychology and I am motivated to help and lead those who cannot help themselves.
This is the best article i’ve read in the last 2 years. Thank you, Vishen
Thank you! I find this article genuinely interesting, and I really appreciate both the perspective and your reflections. Your point about nature consistently choosing wisdom, experience, and care as guiding principles — while humanity has built systems that reward something entirely different — truly resonates.
It raises a bigger question for me: How did we end up with a model of leadership built on dominance, competition, and visibility, when nature so clearly shows that long‑term thinking, memory, and collective care are what actually ensure survival?
And just as importantly: Why did women and feminine leadership qualities become relegated to a subordinate position, despite the fact that these traits seem to be the very ones that sustain groups and create resilience?
After all, we are part of nature and part of the same evolutionary story. It seems reasonable that all of us — men and women alike — would benefit from following the path that actually develops us and supports our long‑term survival. Why don’t we?
This article really opens the door to conversations we urgently need to have.
I think you are absolutelly correct. In older tribes, the person who guides, who heals, who teachs, was almost every time the oldest and wiser woman, because being old not always means you are wiser. But woman had a relevant paper and especially the kind of respect that the other members of the tribe had for the older persons was very different. Our society evolve to punish age, and it seems that look young is the coolest thing on earth. But I also think that our world is chaging very fast and the return to the roots, to something real, something solid, that really can guide us and protect us, is going to happen. We do not have a choice, or this happens or we ar not going to be able to evolve and survive as a society.
I am inspired with your thoughts it is something I understand at a cultural level my nation’s leaders know this and follow the elders teachings n knowledge. Our women are held in the highest esteem and it has become a part of our society once again the matriarchal system is back in motion. It’s been part of our family systems historically and now we struggle to regain it. Due to the impact of colonialism However we are making progress towards the original way of leadership within a very different time. Still we have always believed no matter what the time period our protocols will never change. Thank u for the analogy within nature because yes that is our first teacher in the universal language to us as humans. I learned also being at the end of my menopause that a woman’s brain becomes completely rewired in the process of change.. the intuition grows three maybe four times preparing them to become a human library of wisdom for the community to get knowledge guidance from as well as protection. Thank u for this. Hiy hiy ninanaskomon sturgeon lake First Nation ochi niya wapan achack niwihhoowin muskwa nitooteem
As always Vishen, your shared insights resonate deeply with a wide audience.
The main reason humanity is suffering can be traced back to the decision to cull the female species( witch hunts), subjugate them and reduce them to lesser beings in society by hidden and open strategies. Most tribes and cultures are starting from the beginning because of lost oral traditions held by matriarchs and libraries ( conquerors always burn the wisdom holders)- be it the elders or libraries and cultural, spiritual centres of knowledge.
Thought leaders like you are vital in this age – blessed be!
Hi Vishen, this is such a beautiful enquiry and thought process that emerged from your observations in Namibia. And it is a delight as well as profound when such gold is found in the most unexpected moments. Thank you for bringing it to our attention.
Psychologically, human beings go through different stages of development, as explained by Eric Erikson. And very rightly, the post menopausal stage or post 40, is the stage for contribution to society, and integration of their experiences, bringing their care and wisdom. Deviation from that brings stagnation and despair, and human behavior that demonstrates that.
I truly appreciate the heading of your article. So much food for thought! It clearly points to what is not working and what is effective and sustainable. Nature has demonstrated it very well. Thank you!
I loved reading this. My own experience has taught me that the men and women with the qualities of wisdom, memory, empathy and long-term thinking were always the better leaders. We need more leaders with this mentality NOW more than I think we have ever needed them in at any other time in our history, particularly those countries that have access to nukes.
Kia ora Vishen, my name is Dr Abigail McClutchie, and I have been wondering how I could connect with you, and this topic has sparked the interest and provided the opportunity. I enjoyed the read and the insights you shared. Like some of the other nations, communities, and peoples that have responded, our Māori people from Aotearoa New Zealand are currently and historically full of women leaders, sheros, and wisdom holders. My own Māori ancestry is also full of gracious, powerful and strong leaders, like Whaea McClutchie and others. My doctoral research looked into Indigenous leadership and entrepreneurship, focusing on the extraordinary concepts of Mahi Rangatira and utu. The rangatira (noble-chiefly leaders) were both female and male, with noble-chiefly thinking – whakaaro rangatira, noble-chiefly stances – tū rangatira, and noble-chiefly actions/work behaviours. It is great that someone like you with a large platform can have these kinds of revelations and be willing to speak out about them. I would be keen to continue discussions about how your platform might be ready to include more Indigenous knowledges, especially around leadership and entrepreneurial endeavour. Please feel free to email me: abigailmcclutchie@yahoo.co.nz Ngā mihi, Abigail
Oh, this article struck me! It felt like a rare sign of serendipity for me, because a few days ago, an opportunity came out of nowhere. I was given the chance to lead a group of tourists in beautiful Japan. I’ve never done that kind of job, but I feel deep inside that this kind of work is meant for me.
A few days passed, and doubts started coming up: What if I have no authority? What if I can’t set boundaries? What if I’m not good enough? My inner critic started filling my mind with these thoughts, although my gut knows I have the skills to do this.
Thank you for reminding me that I am a born leader, and that my wisdom, intuition, and care for people will get us where we need to go!
I feel happy that you were given such a golden opportunity!!!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful insight. It is great to be expressing this perspective so clearly in distinction to the dominant thoughtforms dominating so much of our lives.
One of the greatest example is here in Nepal too. After the GenZ protest here, the chosen prime minister Sushila Karki has been able to conduct the further election after dissolved of existing parliament.
Women are never weak as they are portrait to be by the society. They are the warrior that leads other warrior s
Wonderful that you learned this lesson in the Namib desert, where many ppl say there is “nothing”.
I am 70 years old, keeping my mind active and have many young friends. However, they are not interested in hearing my opinions. My children says I am not to give them advice. I have spent many, many years on gaining wisdom, reading extensively, doing online courses and meditating to gain insight. Yet I seem to be the only one interested in these valuable lessons. I would love to pass this on, especially to my children, but they are not interested. A woman with grey hair is automatically seen as a “ghost”. Wisdom that comes over time does not seem to be valued.
I loved the wisdom in this text and the invitation to reflect about all that is written. A reflection the world really needs right now. Pointing at all those contradictions in our human society, those things that we were taught and still stand as “facts” but if we think about it, they don’t make any sense. Totally loved it. Thanks for sharing Vishen!
This feature has moved me profoundly and stirred my heart in the deepest way. I can only hope that the world will truly receive your words—reflect upon them, learn from them, and carry their wisdom forward, not only for the present moment but for the sake of future generations of children.