Getting what you want out of life is not something that should be a passive goal. How to get what you want out of life all starts with your ‘why.‘
When you ask yourself why you want to get to a certain goal, you will find that is a question most people (including yourself) don’t quite have a clear grasp on.
You may think you know what it is you want, but why you want what you want is a whole other ball game.
In order to get what you in life, you have to have a clear ‘why.‘
Adeo Ressi, CEO of The Founder Institute always emphasizes, “You have to know your ‘WHY’ in order to create a great ‘WHAT’.”
A lot of people tend to misunderstand or underestimate the power of a great ‘why.’
In this article, we’ll highlight 3 secrets on how to keep you on track to having a clear vision of how you can get what you want out of your life.
Secret #1: Know Your ‘Why’ (Why You Want What You Want)
Here’s the key to your ‘what’ and ‘why’: to have a great ‘what,’ you’ll have to be very clear on your ‘why.’ (We know it sounds confusing, but hang in there. You’ll understand soon.)
One way of getting clear with your ‘why’ is by using The 5 Whys Technique.
The ‘5 Whys’ technique
This effective process will help you gain clarity. It’s a questioning method that enables you to reach the root of things.
(Fun Fact: It was an approach first used by the car manufacturer Toyota when designing their cars. They saw it as a vital tool that allowed them to see the true nature of a problem clearly and through that they would devise an appropriate solution.)
But before doing this exercise, keep the following points in mind:
- Dedicate some time and focus on the task.
- Approach it with an open mind.
- Patience is key. Some questions will require some deep thought.
The process to clarity
1. Write down precisely what you want. Let’s assume it’s something you think will make you happy, like “I want a million dollars.”
2. Ask the five whys. By applying this The 5 Whys method, you’ll be able to dig deeper into the root reason why you want a million dollars in the first place.
Your ‘what’: “I want a million dollars.”
- Why #1: Why do I want a million dollars?
Answer: “Because I want to be rich.”
- Why #2: Why do I want to be rich?
Answer: “So I can quit my day job and start traveling.”
- Why #3: Why do I want to travel?
Answer: “Because I love visiting new places, it inspires me to write blogs and explore my creativity.”
- Why #4: Why do I like writing blogs?
Answer: “Because I like sharing the knowledge I gain with people.”
- Why #5: Why do I like to share my knowledge with others?
Answer: “Because it makes me feel fulfillment and happiness!”
By applying this questioning method, you’ll realize you’ve got some real insight and realize that the real reason is something you didn’t even consider. You went from “I want a million dollars” to “I want to travel and write, and that is what will fulfill me.”
The idea that you need to set realistic goals is one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever encountered. And it holds so many people back.— Vishen, founder and CEO of Mindvalley
Creating a great ‘what’
Now that you know the process of The 5 Whys, you can properly question your motives. It’s important to do so from time to time because it helps you understand yourself better at a much deeper level.
And you’ve just become clearer on exactly what it is you want, and it’s not a million dollars.
Once you have some of these answers you can go one step further and write down, how would it make you feel to get what you want? And how will it impact your life?
Just remember when you do this exercise:
By becoming absolutely clear on ‘why‘ you want to achieve a certain goal, you will result in having a great ‘what.‘
That ‘what’ is your key to bringing you closer to finding your purpose. And there is no better fuel than being purpose-driven to getting what you want in life.
Secret #2: Persistence and Determination
Unfortunately, not every ‘want’ is granted right away, but don’t give in too quickly. Just because you’ve got one or ten (or even a hundred) no’s, it doesn’t mean you should give up.
Be persistent and determined. Practice mindful clarity and envision your greater purpose.
Most human beings underestimate just how powerful their thoughts are in creating the world around them.— Vishen, founder and CEO of Mindvalley
Push yourself no matter what the obstacles are. Use failure as lessons to fuel you on your journey to getting what you want.
Keep in mind that it will not be easy, as most things that are worthy of your efforts are. But no matter, push through with relentless persistence and determination. These are the two keys to achieving real change.
Secret #3: Resistance and Discomfort are Your Best Friends
The thing about change is that you can always expect resistance and discomfort. But not to fret — if you use them to your advantage, they are your best friends.
Counterintuitively to how you may feel, being comfortable in the actions you are taking to change your life may actually be a sign that you are fooling yourself into thinking you are growing.
Something is keeping you from this change. Once you start to actively create this change, you will find every ounce of you resisting. Emotionally, psychologically, and even physically.
Think about it like going to the gym. Your body hates those first few weeks, and you will find yourself slipping once or twice back to your old habits and getting lazy again.
This is normal, expect resistance in growth. It’s a good sign that you are on the right track. Use that as your barometer for knowing if you are doing it right.
Something to Remember
You will be exercising your abilities and exploring yourself as you find your purpose. Remember that the universe is part of this equation too and its existence is also there to serve you.
Sometimes what we really want can seem so out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it.
Don’t disguise the decisions you’ve taken out of fear as a path of practicality.
Look around you, you will see the ones that have reached great heights and achieved the impossible have never had a dream that seemed practical.
So go ahead and don’t shy away from it, ask the universe for it.
How Do You Ask and Get What You Want?
Become limitless. A place where you are perhaps ready to be, free from the looming walls of limitation, but aren’t sure where exactly to begin.
My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.— Jim Carrey
It’s a task that may initially seem quite daunting and scary at first, but try to take a deep breath and trust the process. And staying active in your pursuits is important to achieving the things you want to get.
But don’t set things in stone. You must believe that what you want in life is already there for you. Act as though you expect to get it and you just need to move towards it.
To put it in another way, actively practice mindful unattachment to assume this will become something manifested in time.
Practice envisioning that it’s achieved already. Then, establish goals that provide direction for your pursuit of getting it.
By letting go of when and how, you show the Universe that you believe it is already yours. Because only he who is certain of the outcome can afford to wait.— Sylvia Salow
How to get what you want in life is a question to which you already have the answers. You need only to focus on returning to yourself, and watch as life begins happening for you instead of happening to you.