Getting what you want out of life is not something that should be a passive goal. How to get what you want out of life all starts with your “why”.
When you ask yourself why you want to get to a certain goal you will find that that is a question that most people (including yourself) don’t quite have a clear grasp on.
You may think that you know what it is you want, but ‘why’ you want what you want is a whole other ball game.
In order to get what you in life, you have to have a clear ‘why’.
Adeo Ressi, CEO of the world’s largest pre-seed startup accelerator, The Founder Institute always emphasized that “You have to know your ‘WHY’ in order to create a great ‘WHAT’.”
A lot of people tend to misunderstand or underestimate the power of a great ‘why’.
In this article, we’ll highlight 3 key components on how to keep you on track to having a clear vision on how you can get what you want out of your life.
How Do You Get What You Want
Know your ‘why’ (why you want what you want)
There are many things you can do to figure out your ‘why’. But remember, to have a great what, you’ll have to have a crystal clear why. One way of starting with that is approaching it using the 5 whys technique.
(Key #1) The 5 whys technique — a process to clarity
This technique is a questioning method that enables you to reach all the way down to the root of things. It’s so effective in fact you can also apply it to find the real reason behind your own actions and feelings.
Fun Fact: It was an approach first used by car manufacturer Toyota when designing their cars. They saw it as a vital tool that allowed them to see the true nature of a problem clearly and through that they would devise an appropriate solution.
Advice before doing this exercise, keep the following points in mind:
- Dedicate some time and focus on the task.
- Approach it with an open mind.
- Patience is key. Some questions will require some deep thought.
5 whys technique (how to apply)
Before you start figuring out how to get what you want, you first need to write down what it is you want exactly.
Assuming it’s something that you think will make you happy. Example, “I want to make a million dollars”
The key to knowing how to get what you want is to simply ask yourself the question “Why” five times.
By applying this method of questioning you’ll be able to dig deeper into the root reason why you want a million dollars in the first place.
The idea that you need to set realistic goals is one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever encountered. And it holds so many people back.
— Vishen Lakhiani, Founder of Mindvalley, And Author Of
Mindvalley’s Becoming Limitless Program
Why is this important you may ask?
Let’s give a common example that most people answer the same way, probably even you too.
Everyone you ask wants a million dollars. But if you ask them ‘why?’, you’ll see that most don’t actually have a clear answer as to why they even need it in the first place.
Now examine it using the 5 Whys…
Creating a great ‘what’
Have you ever noticed that we never really question our motives enough?
“Why is that important?”
It’s important to do so from time to time because it helps us understand ourselves better at a much deeper level.
On the surface, you may think you want a million dollars because it will make you happy. But after this exercise, you’ll realize that the real reason is something that you didn’t even consider.
Let’s demonstrate this…
Your shallow ‘what’: “I want a million dollars.”
- Why #1: Why do I want a million dollars?
- Answer: “Because I want to be rich.”
- Why #2: Why do I want to be rich?
- Answer: “So I can quit my day job and start traveling.”
- Why #3: Why do I want to travel?
- Answer: “Because I love visiting new places, it inspires me to write blogs and explore my creativity.”
- Why #4: Why do I like writing blogs?
- Answer: “Because I like sharing the knowledge I gain with people.”
- Why #5: Why do I like to share my knowledge with others?
- Answer: “Because it makes me feel fulfillment and happiness!”
Applying this questioning method, you’ll realize you’ve got some real insight!
We went from “I want a million dollars” to “I want to travel and write, and that is what will fulfill me”.
A more practical new goal now would be to find a career that allows you to travel and blog about your experiences.
You’ve just become clearer on exactly what it is you want, and it’s not a million dollars.
Once you have some of these answers you can go one step further and write down, how would it make you feel to get what you want? And how will it impact your life?
Just remember when you do this exercise:
By becoming absolutely clear on “why” you want to achieve a certain goal, you will result in having a great “what”.
That ‘what’ is your key to bringing you closer to finding your purpose. And there is no better fuel than being purpose-driven to getting what you want in life.
Most human beings underestimate just how powerful their thoughts are in creating the world around them
— Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mindvalley, And Author of Mindvalley’s Becoming Limitless program
Getting What You Want Through Persistence and Determination
(Secret #2) Persistence and determination
Persistence. Unfortunately, not every ‘want’ is granted right away. But don’t give in too quickly. Just because you’ve got one or ten (or even a hundred) no’s, it doesn’t mean you should give up.
How to get what you want or building the life you want is simple, only to those that understand that they can and conquer anything.
As long as you practice mindful clarity to envisioning your greater purpose, this type of mindset is possible to embody.
Just Remember; It will not be easy and the hurdles are inevitable. But no matter, embrace failure.
Be persistent and determined. Use failure as lessons to fuel you on your journey to getting what you want.
Push yourself no matter what the obstacles are. Push through with relentless persistence and determination. These are the two keys to achieving any real change!
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
— Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of the United States
(Secret #3) Resistance and discomfort is your best friend
One trick to how you can get what you want from life is to always expect that with change will come resistance and discomfort.
Counterintuitively to how you may feel, being comfortable in the actions you are taking to changing your life may actually be a sign that you are fooling yourself into thinking you are growing.
Something is keeping you from this change. Once you start to actively create this change, you will find every ounce of you resisting. Emotionally, psychologically, and even physically.
Think about it like going to the gym. Your body hates those first few weeks, and you will find yourself slipping once or twice back to your old habits and getting lazy again.
This is normal, expect resistance in growth. It’s a good sign that you are on the right track. Use that as your barometer for knowing if you are doing it right.
A Final Word To Remember
You will be exercising your abilities and exploring yourself as you find your purpose.
Remember that the universe is part of this equation too and its existence is also there to serve you.
Sometimes what we really want can seem so out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it.
Don’t disguise the decisions you’ve taken out of fear as a path of practicality.
Look around you, you will see the ones that have reached great heights and achieved the impossible have never had a dream that seemed practical.
So go ahead and don’t shy away from it, ask the universe for it.
How do you ask and get what you want?
Limitless. A place which you are perhaps ready to be, free from the looming walls of limitation, but aren’t sure where exactly to begin.
My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.
― Jim Carrey, Actor
Mindvalley’s Becoming Limitless program specializes in exactly this, helping you to acknowledge and break down old barriers and manifest new and empowering ways of thinking.
A task which may initially seem quite daunting and scary, but try to take a deep breath and trust the process.
Staying active in your pursuits is important to achieving the things you want to get. But don’t set things in stone.
You must believe that what you want in life is already there for you. Act as though you expect to get it and you just need to move towards it.
To put it in another way, actively practice mindful unattachment to assuming this will become something manifested in time.
Practice envisioning that it’s achieved already. Then, establish goals that provide direction for your pursuit of getting it.
By letting go of when and how you show the universe that you believe it is already yours. Because only he who is certain of the outcome can afford to wait.
— Sylvia Salow, Life Coach, Public Speaker, Author
How to get what you want in life is a question which you already have the answers to. You need only to focus on returning to yourself, and watch as life begins happening for you instead of happening to you.
Do you believe that you need to work hard to be successful?Like most people, your answer is most probably ‘yes’. After all, it’s what we’ve all been brought up to believe.
The problem is that when you believe this, you start to lose yourself to the grind. You start to associate success with pain and struggle.
But What If You Didn’t Need To Suffer To Be Successful?
Wouldn’t That Be Far More Sustainable?
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Can you think of a time in your life when you wound up with exactly what you wanted? We’d love to hear about your journey. Share your story with us in the comment section below!