Love. It’s the four-letter word that has the power to dress us up in a big white gown and ride to the ball in a pumpkin-turned-carriage, hearts overflowing with giddy butterflies. But the same flame that ignites passion can leave us scorched, hearts bruised and tears stained.
The thing with love is, it exists “to the extent that you give it away,” as Katherine Woodward Thomas, a renowned relationship expert, points out in an episode of The Mindvalley Show with Vishen.
So, is love a fleeting high ‘til the stroke of midnight or a foundation for a lasting connection? This is the question at the heart of Katherine’s work, becoming the key to attracting love that endures.
Watch the full 32-minute episode:
Who is Katherine Woodward Thomas?
Chances are, you’ve heard the name “Katherine Woodward Thomas” in association with the now-famous term “conscious uncoupling.” What you may not know about her is that she’s also a licensed marriage and family therapist and best-selling author of Calling in “The One.” Her Mindvalley programs (of the same name as well as Conscious Uncoupling) have impacted more than 110,000 students.
But beyond these titles, Katherine serves another important role: the modern-day fairy godmother of love.
Why? With her background, she doesn’t just wear a cape and wave a magic wand, expecting everything to fall into place (although she’d probably rock at it). Instead, she draws from her own love-lost, love-found experiences and professional expertise.
“I was accomplished in other areas,” Katherine says. “But the one area of my life that was not working consistently was relationships.”
Through her journey of transformation, she’s found the tools, wisdom, and insights needed to help people invite love into their lives.
“I think a lot of us are trying to figure out our romantic lives by digging in the past,” she adds. However, when you’re up to creating a miracle like calling in “the one,” then action needs to take place to bridge the gap between where you’re at now and where you want to be.
Don’t be mistaken, though; her approach is far from superficial. Katherine leads you through self-discovery, healing, and genuine connection. By encouraging you to embrace every part of yourself, she helps you recognize your worth and the love you deserve, setting yourself up for genuine relationships to find their way to you.
The fact of the matter is, finding love in this life can sometimes feel as elusive as a perfect fit for a glass slipper. Katherine, as your fairy godmother, can help you turn your fairytale dreams into reality.
Why love matters, according to science
In every tale, even Cinderella’s, the quest for connection lies at the heart. Science, much like fairy godmothers, has its own magic to reveal why:
- Love and belonging. Falling in love activates the brain’s reward system, flooding it with chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and norepinephrine. These create feelings of pleasure, euphoria, and attachment, motivating us to bond with our partner.
- Love and physical health. Strong social connections, like those of romantic love, can lead to better physical health outcomes. People in happy relationships tend to have lower blood pressure, stronger immune systems, and faster healing rates.
- Love and mental health. Loving relationships provide emotional support, reduce stress, and boost self-esteem. This can lead to lower rates of depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
These are some of the many benefits, and there’s no doubt that this adoration enriches lives the world over on a deeper level.
As Katherine says, “Love belongs to all of us.” And finding that love in a compatible partner—like the prince in Cinderella—can be such a rewarding experience.
Katherine Woodward Thomas’ 4 love insights on how to find your soulmate
It takes courage to open up your heart to love. But while it can be scary, it’s so worth it.
Here are four pieces of advice Katherine shares that can give your love life the bibbidi-bobbidi-boo it needs and can help you find your soulmate.
1. Be clear with your intentions
“The first thing that you want to do when you want to manifest a miracle in your love life is you start from the future you’re committed to creating,” Katherine advises.
Don’t make it a predictable one like “I want to be in love.” Instead, set clear, specific intentions about the kind of partner you want to attract, the kind of relationship you want to cultivate, and even when it’s going to happen.
Here’s an example: “I’m going to be in a mutually empowering, mutually honoring and respectful, thriving, flourishing love relationship by the end of this year.”
It’s a little like WWCD (what would Cinderella do?). If she hadn’t been clear about her desire to attend the ball and dance with the prince, she wouldn’t have received the help from her fairy godmother to make her dream a reality.
The point of it is to really go for the gold, as the relationship expert explains. Why? Because in doing so, you’re not just hoping to find love; you’re going to want a future that’s “going to inspire you to rise.”
2. Complete the past
To move forward, you must first let go of the past. Unfortunately, as Katherine points out, “a lot of us are actually kind of anchored into the past.”
So, how do you get yourself out of this hole? Well, it’s not about dwelling on past loving relationships, that’s for sure. Instead, it’s about understanding and releasing them.
Here are Katherine’s suggestions:
- Identify lingering resentment. Ask yourself if you still feel like a victim of past relationships. This might indicate you haven’t acknowledged your own role.
- Take responsibility (even the subtle kind). Maybe you didn’t communicate your needs or set boundaries. Taking responsibility empowers you.
- Notice unconscious agreements. Did you make a vow to never be hurt again or stay loyal to someone who hurt you? Release these self-limiting promises.
- Cleanse unhealthy relationships. Are you stuck in draining dynamics? Consider setting boundaries or expressing long-held truths to clear the air.
This healing passage frees you from the chains of past resentments and pains. And it clears the path for you to head to the ball…er, manifest love.
3. Uncover your core love beliefs
Your beliefs about love often come from deep down and can stop you from attracting love. This step involves looking inside yourself and changing these deep-seated beliefs.
Katherine suggests a unique way to do this:
Close your eyes, think about the patterns that keep happening in your love life, and notice how these make you feel.
Ask yourself, “What am I telling myself about me?” Often, you’ll find beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not wanted.” These ideas usually start at a young age, based on things that happened to you.
The key is to talk to these parts of yourself with kindness and remind them that these old beliefs aren’t true. By doing this, you start to see yourself in a new light.
The thing is, this change is powerful. It not only changes how you view yourself but also how others see you.
4. Live the love life you dream of
The big idea here is to live as if your ideal love already exists. “It’s like a dream,” as Cinderella says, “a wonderful dream come true.”
While wanting love before might’ve felt like longing for something out of reach, when you truly believe in conscious loving, these feelings can transform.
“Once you awaken to ‘Oh yeah, I’m committed to creating this; I can have this; I have the power to manifest this,’ now desire becomes something that we play with,” explains Katherine. So instead of shying away from what you want, you learn to embrace your desires fully.
She encourages you to think deeply about what you really want from this kind of adoration and from your partner. Imagine the joy, the support, and the soul ties you wish to experience.
Do you see yourself sharing laughter, having deep conversations, or simply feeling cherished? Feel these desires vividly, using all your senses.
Then, ask yourself, “What steps can I take today to bring this vision to life?” It might be something small, like joining a new class, or something big, like starting a journey toward parenthood. This is about aligning your actions with your heart’s true desires.
By doing this, you’re not just waiting for love. No, no. You’re actively inviting it into your life.
Love deeper, connect stronger
If there’s one quest we’re all on in this life, it’s that of love. Even in fairy tales, though, walking this path means embracing all the possibilities.
“Following the guidance of [Katherine Woodward Thomas’] course helped me to heal from a significant heartbreak and led me to the most incredibly loving romantic relationship,” says Clara Stickney, a musician and Mindvalley Member from the U.S. “I have so much gratitude for it every day.”
And like her, you, too, can learn to heal past wounds and open your heart to the future in Katherine’s Mindvalley Quest, Calling in “The One.” Her approach isn’t just about finding just anyone; it’s about calling for love—the kind with the profound bond you deserve. Glass slippers, optional.
Welcome in.
