Self-belief is that positive feeling you have inside that you are capable of anything. You feel empowered, confident and fueled with virility in the face of challenges and problems.
And those who haven’t got it, those with negative self-belief, probably let many things go by undone. How many things have you let slip by because you lacked belief and doubted yourself?
Doubts such as: “Can I really do this? Other people are far better suited than me, so they probably should do it.”
“What will others think if I do or say this?”
“I really can’t… ” Or, “I don’t deserve this.”
And you’re probably right. Because you’ll always and only get the job, the paycheck, the life that you deep down believe you deserve.
But if you want more, you need to stop telling yourself that you can’t or don’t deserve it, or that someone else is better at it, or wishing you were like anyone else.
This Is What Happens If You Have Self-Belief
Self-belief gives you the freedom to make mistakes.
It lets you cope with setbacks by seeing them for what they are: temporary and not the end of the world.
Self-belief lets you see opportunities.
If you believe you can reach your goals, then your mind operates with the highest possible amount of receptivity to detect opportunities. When you have clear goals you start to notice all the elements needed to reach them, simply because the clarity of your goals gives meaning to those elements as they reveal themselves to you.
Self-belief finds creative solutions.
When you approach a problem and feel anxious about it, your thinking becomes foggy and clogged, which makes finding good solutions less probable. Self-belief makes you relax and think clearly. It stimulates reasoning, memory, and creativity, making it more likely you’ll find good solutions.
Self-belief stimulates action and persistence.
It’s hard to put in the consistent work needed to reach any worthwhile goal if you don’t have self-belief. And when you fail, you confirm this lack of belief. But if you believe in yourself, you feel motivated to take action and sustain it over long periods of time. You’ll be able to see mistakes or setbacks as a part of the process and keep on going, which will reinforce your self-belief.
Self-belief makes others more responsive.
If you ask someone for something and you believe they’ll give it to you, they will sense the conviction and be more inclined to respond to your request. If you lack belief, your request will be hesitant, which makes it more likely to be rejected.
How to Develop Self-Belief
The ideal recipe for building self-belief is the combination of developing yourself, challenging yourself, and thinking about yourself in more constructive ways that represent who you are.
Self-belief is learnable.
You were born with no sense of what you could or couldn’t do. Re-examine and discard many of the limiting ideas you have about your abilities, and find out why you have this disbelief in the first place.
Set bold but realistic goals.
Setting unrealistically high goals and not meeting them is detrimental to self-belief. If you demand too much, too fast, it will backfire. So set realistic smaller goals, with easy steps to achieve them. When you reach a goal, set a higher one. Gradually aim higher as you achieve them. And with each step forward, you’ll build more and more self-belief. Always research each step thoroughly for clarity to make sure it will get you there.
Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments.
Spend time thinking about your strengths and abilities (this also will help you improve your self-image). Celebrate your wins with the things you love doing, go out for dinner, watch a good movie, or indulge in chocolate.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
No matter how good you are at something, there will always be somebody better than you. And if you focus on this, it will sabotage your self-belief. And always comparing yourself to people who are worse than you will simply inflate your ego again. Stay away from comparing yourself to others; instead, focus on meeting your own goals and improving yourself.
Develop your skills.
Self-belief is a reflection of how good you are at handling the various aspects of life. And the more you grow as a person, the more reasons you have to believe in yourself. Consciously recognize the ways you grow as a person and measure your progress as you grow. Become a lifelong learner and continually aim to better yourself.
Learn from those who have gone before.
Find mentors who have been where you desire to go and learn from them. Make yourself vulnerable to do whatever it takes to learn — and accept it now and then when they criticize you. It’s all in the name of learning and growing, and becoming better and better every day.
Develop your superpower.
Think of the typical powers of your favorite superheroes and write them down (the natural pattern of superhero powers is: ability, courage, and competence). Now find only one thing about yourself that makes you unique, that “something” no-one else has. Then prime your mind with this ability of yours every day.
Create a powerful vision.
True self-belief comes from developing the vision of whatever it is you need to believe you can do or be. Sit quietly with closed eyes, and visualize the confident person you want to be. This powerful visualization exercise means you can teach yourself how to be confident, have self-belief, and behave in ways which maximize your chance of success.
Self-belief with grace.
Your self-belief should be focused on what you want to become. And an important part of self-belief comes from knowing your weaknesses and being relaxed about them. When you accept them as part of you, you start to have more confidence in the knowing that all humans have them, and it is okay.
The person whose opinion matters the most in your life is your own.
So stop seeking acceptance and advice from your parents, friends, teachers, and lovers, because only you know what’s best for you. This exercise could be very helpful: write down 5 reasons why your loved ones would want to agree with your opinion. Now write down 5 reasons why they won’t. Accept it as their opinions only and not as facts — this will help in shrugging off the possible rejection coming from them and allow you to move on.
Align your thoughts, words, and actions (congruence).
Which leads to internal stability. Congruence and consistency within a person come off to others as being authentic and self-assured. To be congruent is a sure way to promote self-confidence and self-belief.
Act with integrity.
When you always act with integrity, you know you are ethical and authentic in every way, and then you have no reason at all to never have disbelief again.
The most important and the longest-lasting relationship you can ever develop is the one with yourself. Cultivate this relationship, nourish it with every possible positive trait, and everything will fall into place.
Here is a video from our very own Marisa Peer where she touches how to automatically teach your mind the power of self-belief.