To say that the mind has a mind of its own can be an understatement. At any given zeptosecond, whether we like it or not, a thought emerges.
They can make you laugh, make you feel a pang of worry, or make you pause in reflection. But when they’re intrusive? They can leave you feeling utterly disrupted.
Dr. Caroline Leaf, a clinical neuroscientist and the trainer of Mindvalley’s Calm Mind: A Scientific Method for Managing Anxiety and Depression, describes them as a “volcano” that “builds and builds and then erupts.”
Learning how to stop intrusive thoughts can help you cool that volcano before it blows up. And when you do, you reduce their power over you and prevent them from disrupting your life.
Why do we have intrusive thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts often arise because of stress, anxiety, trauma, or even moments of boredom—moments when the mind is especially active or restless. They can also be the brain’s way of processing an overload of information, tossing some 6,000-odd thoughts a day as it sorts through what’s relevant and what’s not.
Dr. Caroline Leaf explains that thoughts, in general, are “real things made of proteins and chemicals that occupy mental real estate.” These everyday sparks in our minds help us process our experiences and feelings, whether they bring up happy memories or moments of self-doubt. Most of them make sense, even when they’re critical or challenging.
Intrusive thoughts, though, are different. They seem to pop up out of nowhere and don’t feel like they belong. “When we talk about intrusive thoughts, we are thinking about those thoughts that are actually frustrating us or stealing our peace or making us irritated,” says Dr. Leaf.
She adds that they can disturb how we function and bring up emotions we’d rather not feel. At night, when there are no distractions, these thoughts can grow louder, leaving many to wonder how to stop intrusive thoughts at night.
Unlike typical negative thinking tied to specific worries or self-criticism, intrusive thoughts feel unrelated to our true beliefs or desires. This disconnect is what makes them feel so unsettling—and can leave us questioning why they’re even there in the first place.
Examples of intrusive thoughts
These intrusive brain blurts can feel random, unwanted, and completely out of character. For instance, they can be…
- Aggressive, where you think about harming yourself or someone else.
Example: “What if I just slapped that person across the face?” - Sexual, involving thoughts that don’t align with your actual desires or interests.
Example: “I wonder what kissing that stranger would be like…” - Accidental harm, like imagining doing something harmful because you weren’t careful enough.
Example: “What if I left the stove on and the whole house burned down?” - Moral or sinful, like disrespecting a sacred symbol or breaking a moral code.
Example: “I could pull a Winona and slip that Stella McCartney top into my bag…” - Health-related, where you fear that you might have a severe illness or that you could contract one through improbable scenarios.
Example: “That slight pain could mean something serious… maybe it’s cancer…” - Blasphemous, with thoughts of cursing or being disrespectful during a prayer.
Example: “Wouldn’t it be funny if I said ‘f*cking hell’ during the sermon?” - Relationship doubts, where you question whether you truly love your partner or if your relationship is even real.
Example: “Am I really in love with them, or am I just pretending because it’s easier?”
It’s not surprising that these thoughts can be incredibly disturbing and distressing. But they’re way more common than you realize. “Do you know that 94% of people globally (and it’s probably more) battle with intrusive thoughts?” Dr. Leaf poses.
They can be especially ordinary for people with mental health conditions like OCD or generalized anxiety, where the mind has a harder time letting go of certain “what if” scenarios.
Thankfully, Dr. Leaf adds, we can, whether we want to believe it or not, learn how to stop intrusive thoughts.
5 expert-backed ways to stop intrusive thoughts
There’s nothing more offsetting than having a random, disturbing scenario pop up in your mind while you’re going about your day.
Like, waiting for your train in the subway and wondering what it would be like pushing that stranger off the platform. Or seeing your gorgeous-looking (and married) colleague and wondering what it would be like to run your hands across his body.
Having one on occasion is normal—after all, the mind is a curious creature. But when these thoughts start to surface more often or feel impossible to shake, they can, as Dr. Leaf points out, become like a volcano.
And just like lava can cause destruction in its path, an “unmanaged thought will keep erupting… destroying parts of our lives.”
The upside? You can learn how to be less reactive and keep those thoughts from taking over, with the help of these five expert-backed strategies.
1. Observe your recurring thoughts
When an intrusive thought surfaces, try not to push it away. Instead, as Dr. Leaf suggests, create intentional “thinker moments” throughout your day. These are dedicated times to let your mind wander freely.
In these moments, simply observe your thoughts, whether they’re tied to OCD or just everyday stress, as they arise without judgment or reaction. It takes a little bit of shadow work, but it helps you catch recurring thought loops and see them as passing experiences rather than automatic triggers.
“When you have very fixed pockets of time in your day where you do this,” says Dr. Leaf, “you start training yourself to be more self-regulated.”
And the more you practice it and understand your thoughts, the more you become tuned in and able to let go of their hold on you.
2. Diagram your intrusive thoughts
Chances are, you’ve heard of mind mapping. This Dr. Leaf-recommended mindfulness-based stress reduction technique is essentially that—but for your thoughts. By penning down any and all blurbs that come into your head, you can quickly start to see them more clearly and objectively.
Research even shows that visualizing information helps you process your thoughts in two ways: 1) it offers a quick, straightforward way to grasp what’s going on, and 2) it encourages slower, deeper reflection. That’s why techniques like this are also common in cognitive behavioral therapy and OCD treatment, where understanding thought patterns is key.
What’s more, if you’re looking for how to stop repetitive intrusive thoughts, this mindfulness-based stress reduction exercise can show you where they come from and how they affect you. Over time, it can even boost your resilience to unexpected thought patterns.
3. Redirect your focus
When those little buggers surface, it helps to remember that they don’t represent your true values or beliefs—they’re simply your mental mess.
But what can you do about it? Marisa Peer, the creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy®, advocates using the power of imagination.
“Imagination,” she says in her Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance Quest on Mindvalley, “is more powerful than logic.” What that means is, when you visualize a positive outcome or a desired mental state, it can override the pull of distressing thoughts.
Think of it like changing the channel in your mind. When an unwanted thought appears, redirect your focus to something that feels meaningful or calming, like running 10 miles, picturing yourself fishing on a quiet lake, or recalling fun family times at Six Flags.
Training your mind to lean toward positive images builds a mental habit that breaks the thought loop, making intrusive thoughts feel less…well, intrusive.
4. View them as reflections of insecurities (not facts)
Remember, these distressing brain dumps can stem from deeper influences, like past traumas or even genetic tendencies that make you more prone to anxiety. In these situations, the mind, which is wired for survival, likes to, as Marisa explains, “move you away from pain and towards pleasure.”
But sometimes, we unknowingly link intrusive thoughts to pain, like fear or guilt. Take, for instance, a thought about harming someone—you might link it to the fear of being a “bad person” or hurting those you care about.
So, try reframing those thoughts to weaken their emotional impact. Like, if you’re thinking about giving someone’s face a high-five, view it as just a random blip in your mind instead of seeing this thought as a threat or something “wrong” with you.
Marisa suggests that when you shift how you see these thoughts, it takes away their emotional charge. You can ask yourself, “What if this thought isn’t a warning? What if it’s just mental noise?”
By seeing them as harmless—even meaningless—you start to “trick” your mind into feeling neutral instead of threatened. This reframing doesn’t just make intrusive thoughts less intense in the moment; it also helps you naturally feel more in control over time.
5. Rewire those thoughts with hypnotherapy
When all that brain fuzz negatively affects you, hypnotherapy can help by going straight to the source—your subconscious. Marisa explains that this practice isn’t about “erasing” thoughts but rather retraining the mind to release patterns that don’t serve you.
In a deeply relaxed, receptive state, it’s easier to let go of those sticky, repetitive thoughts and reshape the beliefs fueling them. Many people even use hypnotherapy for anxiety because it helps calm the mind by gently shifting these thought patterns.
Marisa’s got a 40-minute hypnosis session on Mindvalley’s YouTube channel that’s perfect for clearing out mental blocks and creating a calmer headspace. Like she says, “Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it,” so why not use it to create a new mental vibe?
Frequently asked questions
How long do intrusive thoughts last?
These random headspace fillers can be brief, lasting seconds or minutes, or they can linger and resurface, especially during high-stress moments. According to Dr. Leaf, the time it takes to truly rewire an intrusive thought pattern depends on the individual.
The unfortunate reality is, research shows that the harder you try to not think about them, the more likely they are to stick. In one study, people who tried to push thoughts away found that those thoughts ended up coming back stronger.
However, with consistent self-regulation and mind-management techniques, it’s possible to change these patterns. Dr. Leaf explains that it takes a minimum of 63 days.
Why that many days? “It takes a full three cycles of 21 days minimum to rewire the brain”—and it’s exactly what she emphasizes and guides you through in her Mindvalley Quest.
How to stop intrusive thoughts about the relationship
Relationship-based intrusive thoughts often creep in from self-doubt, past hurts, or anxiety about the future.
According to Marisa, people often carry unresolved issues from childhood, like the fear of rejection or not feeling “lovable” enough. These patterns can make you doubt yourself or your partner.
To help with these thoughts, try a few steps Marisa Peer recommends:
- Practice self-compassion.
- Write down your thoughts to help sort through what’s real versus what’s just a passing worry.
- Build a sense of self-worth.
- Try visualization exercises.
- Consider hypnosis to rewire negative beliefs.
How to stop intrusive thoughts about death
Intrusive thoughts about death can be unnerving, but they’re a lot more common than you’d think. If you often struggle with the fear of death, try to remember: They’re thoughts, not predictions, and don’t have to mean anything profound.
Marisa explains that when these thoughts come around, you can often end up “catastrophizing,” which means that you imagine the worst possible outcome. And this negative feedback loop can make them seem impossible to handle.
But, like she points out, using phrases like “This is killing me” or “I can’t handle this” only ramps up the anxiety. Instead, try to dial down the drama by choosing calming, realistic language, like, “This is tough, but I can handle it.”
Simply put, it’s about letting go of intense words that fuel your anxiety and, instead, approaching your thoughts with a calmer, more practical mindset.
Futureproof your well-being
Freedom from the unwanted jibber-jabber is a mental shift away. And learning how to stop intrusive thoughts from experts like Dr. Caroline Leaf could be your next move.
Her Mindvalley Quest, Calm Mind: A Scientific Method for Managing Anxiety and Depression, offers a deep dive into practical, science-backed techniques for calming the mind—and signing up for a free Mindvalley account can give you access to the first few lessons.
And if you’re looking for a fast start to reprogramming your mind, Marisa Peer’s The 5 Steps to Reprogram Your Mind for Abundance Masterclass is a perfect entry point. In this free 84-minute session, you’ll not only experience her groundbreaking Rapid Transformational Therapy™ but also explore the techniques that help you rewire your mind for a life of abundance in wealth, health, and love.
Thousands have benefited from Marisa’s training, including Nathan Dovey, a business owner from Brisbane, Australia, who, before starting, found himself in “deep dark holes of negative thought patterns” and struggled with difficult dynamics in his work.
“Now,” he says, “I recognize the negative downward spirals and I can immediately pull myself out and focus on the positive outcomes.”
You, too, can quiet the noise. And when you do, the life you’ve always wanted starts to come into focus.
Welcome in.
