‘Don’t get emotional.’
‘Keep it together.’
‘Get a grip’.
If you’ve ever been told to suppress your emotions, you’re in the majority.
We currently live in a masculine society that rewards composure, self-control, and grit. Of course, these qualities have their benefits, but over time, bottling up your emotions creates toxicity in your body.
In this article, we’ll be exploring a very alternative and highly effective technique to express emotions in a healthy, fun, and sexy way.
What Are Your Emotions?
An emotion can feel very pleasurable and enjoyable. Similarly, they can be heavy, overwhelming, and painful. According to psychologists, our emotions are complex psychological states that involve three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response.
The problem is, most of us have never been taught what to do with emotions when they arise and how to express them healthily.
Sure, if you’re feeling on top of the world, it’ll come pretty easy. You’ll either smile, dance, laugh, spread the cheer, or at the very least inwardly enjoy the experience. Whatsmore, positivity is very socially acceptable.
But when you’re feeling vulnerable, anxious, angry, fearful, or sad…what then?
Can you honestly say you’re just as comfortable with yourself in times of emotional hardship? If you are, kudos to you. But if you’re like most of us, we grew up not having a clue how to express negative emotions healthily.
What Are The 3 Ways We Can Express Emotion?
According to feminine embodiment leader Sheila Kelley, there are three ways we can express our emotions. Through:
“This self-expression is the feminine,” says Sheila, “When I talk about this, it’s not about gender or sexuality. It’s about energy. (…) We have both within us. We live in a masculine world, and although it’s beautiful in many ways, we need to bring back the feminine.”
She continues, “The feminine is all you can experience–it’s pleasure, nature, movement, and sound. It’s light, it’s glitter, it’s the experience of the quality of life.”
So you could say that no matter who you are–if you’re a man, woman, or don’t identify with either of these genders–we all can and should connect with our feminine energy on a more regular basis if we want to express our emotions healthily.
Why Erotic Movement and Sensuality?
Erotic, sensual movement is a great way to allow emotions to run through us, as we learn to embody, aka – express physically, everything that is coming up for us emotionally at any given time.
It’s only through fluid movement, deep breaths, judgment-free self-expression, and a brave physical exploration of our emotions that we can heal in the way we deserve.
“Once you taste the nectar of the genius in your body, there’s no going back. You will no longer be asleep in your body”, says Sheila, “through movement (…) our erotic and emotional energy wed and merge, giving you ultimate radiance”.
Sounds good to us.
4 Ways To Express Emotions Through Erotic Movement And Sensuality
Most of us operate from ‘the flat line’ state of being, which, according to Sheila, is when we’re not mindful and present to what’s going on physically and emotionally.
“When you’re operating from the flat line, you’re not sitting in the present pleasure of your body. You’re asleep. You’re thinking ahead, or you’re thinking behind, you’re on your to-list, and you’ve kind of lost your body”.
That said, there are four layers to a soulfully sexy life that allow you to transcend the flat line. And it’s these layers that will allow you to embody your feelings and let them flow through you healthily.
1. Present Your Amazing Body To The World
The first technique is known as ‘the presentational layer’, and as you’ve probably guessed, it’s all about how you present your body.
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“Ask yourself, what is the visual representation of my body? What’s my height, weight, hair color, eye color, shape? What clothes do I like to wear?”, says Sheila.
Once you’re aware of your own body, it becomes easier to express yourself through it. If you’re feeling energetic, playful and aroused, why not decorate your body in brighter colors to represent your state of being? If you’re feeling low, sultry or introverted, become aware of how you present your body. Is there anything you’d like to embrace or change?
There’s no right or wrong here, and awareness is power!
2. Take Ownership Over The Way You Hold Yourself
The second technique is called ‘the animation layer’. This is all about how you hold yourself and move your body through your day.
“So this is when we ask ourselves…how do I move? Am I in grace, or do I feel clumsy and awkward in my body?”
Many of us feel a lack of confidence when it comes to fully embodying who we are through movement and posture. But the only way to truly empower ourselves is to wholeheartedly embrace who we are and what we have. And then, of course, move in a way that honors that.
By standing up tall, taking a deep breath and moving with sensuality, mindfulness and pride, we give life to our bodies, along with a strong channel for our emotions to flow through. That brings us to the third step.
3. Feel Your Emotions And Follow Their Natural Instructions
The next layer is where lots of people get stuck. You guessed it, this is your ‘emotional layer’.
Here, you begin to bring mindfulness and awareness to how you allow your emotions to move through you.
“Do you allow emotion to fluidly move through your body? How do you express it? Or do you squelch your emotions down and deny your impulses?” asks Sheila.
“When you want to laugh out loud or cry, do you roll with it? When you feel that tingle in your face, do you let the tears flow or pull them back in? (The latter) …is bad because it creates toxicity in the body–we need to feel, and move, and emote”.
So don’t hold back. Listen to your body when it comes to your emotions.
If you’re tired, take a nap. If you find something funny, laugh until your tummy is sore, and do it as loud as you like. If you feel the need to cry, go ahead and weep to your heart’s content. If you’re angry, scream, shout and punch the crap out of your pillow. If you’re aroused, give yourself pleasure.
But whatever you do, don’t deny your natural craving for expression.
4. Embrace Some Erotic Movement
If you felt a bit awkward reading that title, you’re not alone.
Eroticism has long been shamed and condemned in most parts of our world. But contrary to popular belief, eroticism isn’t just about sex. It’s about connecting to your soul. That’s why Sheila Kelley named this step the ‘soulful layer’.
“This is all about knowing who you are as an emotional, erotic creature. It’s about knowing if you have a lightness or a darkness to your energy, and expressing that through movement or dance.”
When we feel our emotions in our bodies and use them to induce erotic movement, we dance with our own souls. We express ourselves in the most fun and pleasurable way possible, cleansing toxicity out of our bodies. Here, we’re doing the polar opposite of bottling up!
The erotic energies and organic movement that come from you in times of emotion take 10 forms. These erotic flavors serve perfectly in the pursuit of self-expression, but more on that in the next article.
Here’s how to move erotically and sensually as a form of emotional expression.
Step 1 – Choose The Music
If you’re feeling angry, go for some heavy rock. If you’re sad, go for some soft piano. If you’re feeling aroused and playful, go for some Latino or tantric music. Choose any song, artist or playlist that will help induce the emotion you’d like to express.
Step 2 – Feel The Emotion In Your Body
Feel the physical sensation of the emotion in the body, and roll with it. Feel the force or fragility, the pain or joy. Do a body scan from the top of your head to the tips of the toes to see where the emotion is currently residing. Sometimes it helps to touch your body with your fingertips to intuitively feel into the sensations. Be brave and dive in, knowing you’re safe to do so.
Step 3 – Dance With Your Emotion
You might have the urge to roll around on the floor or stretch. You might want to shake your hips, headbang or dance. You may feel the craving for deep breaths through the mouth, or feel the need to release sound. Embrace it all. Make it erotic and sensual. Fully embody your emotions and find the sexiness within them.
In the sex and intimacy coaching community, many practitioners agree that within pain, there is always a drop of pleasure to be found.
So as you move with the music, can you express your emotions physically whilst feeling the pleasure of doing so?
What’s more, cleansing yourself of what you don’t want in your system and embracing the pleasure of what you do is a manifestation tool in and of itself.
“When you let emotion flow through your body and out into the world in a constructive way, you can also bring everything you desire into your life”, says Sheila.
Improve Your Emotional Intelligence This Month
If you’re interested in how to improve emotional intelligence, you’re in good company!
Whether you choose to tune into Sheila Kelley’s Uncover the Sensual Language of Your Erotic Soul workshop or join Britain’s no.1 therapist for a full hypnotherapy experience for self-confidence, we’ve got you covered with our Mindvalley Membership.
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