‘Don’t get emotional.’
‘Keep it together.’
‘Get a grip’.
If you’ve ever been told to suppress your emotions, you’re in the majority.
We currently live in a masculine society that rewards composure, self-control, and grit. But over time, bottling up your emotions creates toxicity in your body.
In this article, we’ll be exploring a very alternative and effective technique that addresses how to express feelings in a sexy way.
What Are Your Emotions?
An emotion can feel very pleasurable and enjoyable. Similarly, they can feel heavy and painful. According to psychologists, our emotions are complex psychological states that involve three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and an expressive response.
The problem is that most of us have never been taught how to express feelings when they arise.
The Basic List of Emotions
Every emotion you can feel, (there are actually 27 subtle human emotions), is birthed from one of these six base feelings.
How to Express Feelings: The 3 Options
If you’re thinking ‘I don’t know how to express my feelings!‘, you’re in good company. According to feminine embodiment leader Sheila Kelley, there are three simple ways we can express our emotions:
Much of our therapy modalities focus on the sound avenue. We talk out our problems to a trained professional who talks back at us.
For those of us who choose not to speak out, deep breathing in meditation is the second most common option.
But there’s the third, lesser-known option: movement. And it works a hell of a lot faster than the traditional coping mechanisms.
According to Sheila, we should embrace erotic movement on a more regular basis if we want to learn how to express feelings healthily.
What Is Erotic Movement and Why Should You Try It?
Erotic movement is the act of moving the body sensually. It is often spontaneous, pleasurable, artistic, and sexual. Erotic, sensual movement is a great way to allow emotions to run through us as we learn to express our feelings physically.
It’s only through judgment-free self-expression and brave physical exploration of our emotions that we can heal in the way we deserve. And it works fast.
Ever heard the phrase ‘shake it off’? Its origins lie in this wisdom.
Once you taste the nectar of the genius in your body, there’s no going back…through movement our erotic and emotional energy wed and merge, giving you ultimate radiance.Sheila Kelley
How to Express Feelings Through Erotic Movement: Preparation Steps
There are four layers to emotional eroticism.
And it’s these layers that will allow you to learn how to express feelings and let them flow through you healthily.
Here’s where to start.
Step 1. Present your amazing body to the world
The first step to expressing your emotions through movement is to get to know your body and let the world see it. Sheila calls it ‘the presentational layer.’
Once you’re aware of your own body, it becomes easier to figure out how to express feelings through it.
If you feel like getting naked for this exercise, do it. If you wish to wear clothes that represent your feelings, do it.
There’s no right or wrong here, and awareness is power!
Step 2. Take ownership over the way you hold yourself
The second step is to become aware of how you’re holding your body right now. It’s called ‘the animation layer’.
“So this is when we ask ourselves…how do I move? Am I in grace, or do I feel clumsy and awkward in my body?”
Get a sense of where you are right now, then you can move on to the deeper question of how to express your feelings in a way that honors that.
That brings us to the third step.
Step 3. Feel your emotions and follow their natural instructions
Here, you begin to bring mindfulness and awareness to how you allow your emotions to move through you.
“When you want to laugh out loud or cry, do you roll with it? When you feel that tingle in your face, do you let the tears flow or pull them back in? (The latter)…is bad because it creates toxicity in the body–we need to feel, and move, and emote”.
So don’t hold back. Listen to your body when it comes to figuring out how to express feelings.
If you feel the need to cry, weep to your heart’s content. If you’re angry, scream, shout and punch the crap out of your pillow. If you’re aroused, give yourself pleasure.
Step 4. Start to move erotically with your emotion
If you felt a bit awkward reading that title, you’re not alone.
Eroticism has long been shamed and condemned in most parts of our world. But contrary to popular belief, eroticism isn’t just about sex. It’s about connecting to your soul and learning how to express feelings in a different way. This step is named the ‘soulful layer’.
“This is all about knowing who you are as an emotional, erotic creature. It’s about knowing if you have a lightness or darkness to your energy, and expressing that through movement or dance.”
When we move erotically, we express ourselves in the most fun and pleasurable way possible, cleansing toxicity out of our bodies.
Here’s how to move erotically as a form of emotional expression.
Choose the music
If you’re feeling angry, go for some heavy rock. If you’re sad, go for some soft piano. If you’re feeling aroused and playful, go for some Latino or tantric music. Choose any song, artist, or playlist that will help induce the emotion you’d like to express through movement.
Feel the emotion in your body
Feel the physical sensation of the emotion in the body, and roll with it. Feel the force or fragility, the pain or joy. Do a body scan from the top of your head to the tips of the toes to see where the emotion is currently residing. Sometimes it helps to touch your body with your fingertips to intuitively feel the sensations.
Dance erotically with your emotion
You might have the urge to roll around on the floor or stretch. You might want to shake your hips, headbang or dance. You may feel the craving for deep breaths through the mouth, or feel the need to release sound. Embrace it all and make it beautiful. Make it erotic and sensual.
Fully embody your emotions and find the sexiness within them through dancing and moving to the music you chose.