“Well, hello! Where have you been?” is what you’ll be asking when you finally awaken your inner sex goddess.
Don’t be totally shocked though because she’s more than just The Deliverer of O’s. She’s your sexual energy, a.k.a. your zest for life—your ability to feel pleasure, excitement, intrigue, curiosity, and exude so much confidence, your vibes scream out, “I am enough!”
So, whether you’re in a relationship or proudly blasting “Single Ladies” as your anthem, discover how you can awaken your inner sex goddess.
As singer Lizzo points out: you’re “way too fine to be this stressed.” So let’s break this taboo and fully embrace the female sexual energy—because it’s about damn time.
What is a sex goddess?
Definitions of a sex goddess mainly refer to a female being sexually attractive to our male counterparts. However, sex goddess is more than just that; it’s about female sexual energy and being at one with the senses.
“[Central sexual energy] is actually our creative energy,” says Rachel Pringle, embodiment coach and trainer of Mindvalley’s Wild Woman Sensuality Quest. “It’s the same thing. So when we’re blocking our sensual and sexual energy, we’re also blocking our creative energy.”
The reality is, many of us are taught to provide pleasure, yet we often don’t get the vice versa of the experience. However, learning how to be a sex goddess enables us to meet our needs without external validation and consciously relate to our partners without being led by our hearts or, Heaven forbid, our vaginas.
Because we’re able to do so, the sexual goddess status can help express who we truly are and what we’re about. It gives us the confidence to surrender to the rhythm of our bodies and this, ultimately, extends into other areas of our lives. We are no longer a mystery unto ourselves.
Why is connecting to your inner sex goddess important?
Being one with your inner sex goddess has its benefits—not only for pleasure but for your sexual and overall well-being. As it helps to connect you with your mind, body, and soul connection, there’s a likelihood of finding the path to self-love and, ultimately, your ability to express how to be loved.
According to a 2022 research article, people who “experience sex as more pleasurable” are more inclined to make sexually healthy decisions. This includes communicating about sexually transmitted infection risks with a new partner, negotiating condom use, and using protection.
Connecting with your inner sex goddess helps you “remember the confident and deeply empowered state of your natural existence,” explains Rachel. “It reminds you of your self-trust and your self-love and it is accessible to each and every one of us.”
5 ways to awaken your inner sex goddess
In this modern day and age, talking about female sexual energy—our bodies and the pleasures we get from it—is still somewhat taboo.
Granted, women’s magazines have been covering for years (all those Cosmopolitan’s “How To’s”) and more recently with Gwenyth Paltrow’s the goop lab on Netflix, but “vagina,” “labia,” “clitoris” are still unmentionables when it comes to speaking freely about the female body.
Thankfully, though, research shows that young women are talking about it more frequently with their friends. Because sex and sensuality, despite what we’ve been cultivated into thinking, aren’t anything to be ashamed of.
So here are three ways you can awaken the greatness that is your sex goddess:
1. Know what you want
In order to get what you want from life, you should first know what you truly want from it. Happiness may be the root of your desires, but pinpointing your wants and wishes may take a little more than making a list.
“If you want something that’s really important, the first thing is to start changing your beliefs,” explains Marisa Peer, creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT®) and trainer of Mindvalley’s Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy™ For Abundance Quest.
So as a starting point, here are two things to keep in mind:
Identify what you want
Women are known to think about sex for at least a fourth of their day. However, a 2022 survey by Scarlet Society, a leading online resource for women’s sexual health and wellness after 40, found that less than a third (specifically American women between 40 to 60 years old) are truly satisfied with their sex life.
If you can relate to this sentiment (even if you’re not yet 40), it may just help to create a list of what you want out of your sex life.
Is it sex on the regular? Does it involve toys or costumes? Something more risqué involving a “trois”? The feeling of intimacy? A deeper connection?
Keep in mind, though, that it’s easy to pass general wants in life, like “making love every day” or “feeling good.” However, putting in the conscious effort to list what really matters to you and what makes you excited can give you more meaning in your pleasure-seeking experiences.
Ask yourself why you want it
There’s a method called The 5 Whys that gets to the root of your desires. You take your “what do you want?” and apply five “why” questions to it. Here’s an example:
Your ‘what’: “I want sex on the regular.”
- Why #1: Why do you want sex on the regular?
Answer: Because I want to feel sexy. - Why #2: Why do you want to feel sexy?
Answer: So I can feel good about my body. - Why #3: Why do you want to feel good about your body?
Answer: Because I want to feel confident. - Why #4: Why do you want to feel confident?
Answer: So I can feel good about myself. - Why #5: Why do you want to feel good about yourself?
Answer: So I can love myself.
So, mindset first and once you pinpoint the things that make you happiest, you’ll have a clearer idea of what aspects of your life need more attention as well as what’s holding you back from awakening your inner sex goddess.
2. Rise above the shame in your membrane
For many of us, it feels weird to put ourselves before others. Especially in a time like the one we’re living in, how do we convince ourselves “I deserve better than this” when so many people are suffering?
Guilt and forced gratitude, darling, get you nowhere good.
“When we repress something, it doesn’t make us better people,” says Psalm Isadora, intimacy expert and trainer of Mindvalley’s Tantra Touch Quest. (Sadly, Psalm passed away in 2017, but her teachings are still available at Mindvalley.). “It gets compressed into our shadows and is likely to explode from our subconscious in a damaging or violent way.”
And as women, we end up suffering from:
- Body shaming
- Slut shaming
- Sexual shame
- Fear of being vulnerable
- Unable to ask for what you want
Your mind is your biggest sex organ. When you get stuck in your head, you make it about you. However, when it’s about getting in touch with your inner sex goddess, you’re able to open yourself to create a deeper connection with your partner.
So having the right mindset can help you focus on (and authentically enjoy) the pleasures that come during sex. As Psalm says, “Get out of your head and back into your vagina.” (And undoubtedly, that’s probably what your inner sex goddess has been saying, too!)
3. Learn to relax
Frankie Goes to Hollywood may have intended for the song to be about delaying orgasm for men, but they do give out the right message for coitus: relax.
Relax because stress, as the saying goes, is a killer.
Okay, it can’t literally kill you, but it can affect your immune system, digestive system, and brain. And one solution to help you deal with stress? Sex.
Sex is surprisingly beneficial, according to Dr. Amy Killen, anti-aging and regenerative medicine physician and trainer of Mindvalley’s The Science of Sex Quest. Speaking at Mindvalley’s A-Fest 2018 in Sardinia, she explains its plus side:
- It’s great for your immune system,
- Helps you fight infections,
- Decreases your risk of depression,
- Helps you sleep better,
- Decreases pain, and
- Decreases blood pressure.
Bonus, sex is tied to longer telomere length in women, which is directly linked to longevity.
And with the relief of stress in your life, you’ll make way for a connection with your inner sex goddess.
4. Be present in your body
Instead of focusing on everything else going on around you, be present in your body. That means noticing its nuances rather than trying to control or judge them. In doing so, you take yourself out of your head, you become more aware of the feelings in your body, and you’re more likely to express if you enjoy them or not to your partner.
“That’s going to help women to really relax, feel their own body, and let go [in order to have] mind-blowing orgasms,” says Psalm.
If you need a little help, try mindfulness meditation. It can help you relax and be in the moment so you and your inner sex goddess can come together as one.
Take a few minutes and tune into this Sexual Power meditation guided by Natalia Sloma. Download the free Mindvalley app to access the content:
5. Schedule time for love
“Wham, bam, thank you Ma’am”—that’s the sexual experience for many of us. However, it’s not one that allows our sexual energy to flow.
“Most of us don’t know that the [sexual energy] exists,” explains Bibi Brzozka, conscious sexuality coach and trainer of Mindvalley’s Waves of Pleasure Quest. So, that energy remains in the genital area and doesn’t move beyond it.
She adds, “Most of us experience sexuality in that raw, primal, and animalistic expression” mainly for the purposes of procreation. As a result, pleasure and all that comes with it aren’t put at the forefront.
In fact, while we know that orgasms feel great and important to one’s health, what many of us don’t realize is that more than 90% of males usually experience orgasms during intercourse. Their female counterparts? Only around 50%, as reported in a 2016 study on female sexual orgasms.
So when it comes to pleasure, Bibi suggests to schedule time in your calendar for love, be it self-pleasure or coitus with your partner. Take that time to figure out what you like or don’t like; it’s only through your own experience that you’ll know what turns you on.
Honor your inner sex goddess
There’s something beautiful about awakening the greatness that is your sex goddess. There’s a level of fearlessness in bed and comfort in your own skin. You become a lady in the streets and a queen in the sheets.
So we invite you to be a part of the feminine awakening happening. Not just a radical one, but a sexual one, too. Let’s normalize sex and stop normalizing shame.
At Mindvalley, you can move beyond your sexual blockers with Marisa Peer, discover your sensuality with Rachel Pringle, understand more about sexual health with Dr. Amy Killen, be attuned to your body with Psalm Isadora, and understand the power of your sexual energy with Bibi Brzozka.
What’s more, signing up for a free Mindvalley account can connect you with like-minded people who will empower you to realize your worth.
Because you are beautiful and wonderfully made. You are a sex goddess.
