Self-love—such a simple word, yet it packs a huge punch. But more often than not, it’s treated like a slogan.
“You are enough.”
“Be you, love you.”
“Self-love is the best love.”
The fact is, it’s more than what these words can capture. What you should realize about it is this: To love yourself is to truly liberate yourself from expectations for and the addiction to validation.
And self-love activities make that real. They give you something to do on a Tuesday afternoon when the inner critic starts talking. They turn “I should love myself” into a practice you can repeat until it sticks.
So if self-love isn’t on your radar, it should be.
The essential list of self-love activities
“Self-love,” explains Kristina Mӓnd-Lakhiani in Mindvalley’s From Awesome to Flawesome program, “is about thriving.”
Research by psychologists Kristin Neff, Ph.D., and Christopher Germer, Ph.D., shows that self-love strengthens through repeated practice, not insight alone. That simply means that when you do self-love activities over and over, it changes your self-talk, emotional regulation, and self-trust in a positive way.
And here are a few you can start with:
- Setting and enforcing personal boundaries
- Practicing self-compassion during mistakes
- Interrupting negative self-talk in real time
- Keeping promises made to yourself
- Creating daily self-care routines that support energy
- Resting without guilt
- Spending time alone without distraction
- Noticing emotional triggers and naming them
- Writing thoughts down to gain clarity
- Moving your body in ways that feel supportive
- Saying no without over-explaining
- Asking for help when needed
- Speaking to yourself with respect
- Making decisions aligned with your values
- Allowing emotions without judgment
This list isn’t something you complete. It’s something you come back to, especially when self-trust feels shaky and old habits take over.
“The journey to self-love and to true transformation and growth starts with kindness,” Kristina says. And kindness, practiced consistently, is what helps change last.
5 self-love activities for women
Did you know that women are more likely to struggle with self-criticism and guilt than men? Research on self-compassion, including studies by Dr. Neff, also shows that women tend to score lower in self-kindness, even though they’re often more in tune with other people’s emotions.
No wonder women carry more of the mental load. And because of that, self-love for women has to focus less on feeling good and more on unlearning habits of self-neglect.
Here are five practical ways to do that:
1. Practicing guilt-free boundaries
Setting boundaries might seem selfish, but it’s a form of self-love. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should put up walls that would make a certain American administration proud. But it does mean protecting your peace without cutting people off.
Psychology shows that people-pleasing is linked to stress, emotional strain, burnout, and lower well-being. The thing is, your brain starts to treat disappointing others like a threat. And that puts your nervous system on constant alert.
Katherine Woodward Thomas, a renowned licensed marriage and family therapist, explains in her Calling in “The One” program on Mindvalley that healing starts when you stop organizing your life around someone else’s reactions.
“You need to do that knowing full well that the other person will likely not change,” she says. “But it’s not them that needs to change. It’s actually you, where you’re no longer willing to walk on eggshells and tiptoe around the truth, nor are you willing to tolerate being abused or used any longer.”
Here’s where you can start: choose one small boundary this week. For instance, maybe it’s not answering messages right away. Or maybe it’s saying no to extra work without explaining yourself.
If you start to feel guilt, don’t cave. Just allow yourself to notice it, and let it pass.
The more you have healthy boundaries, the more your nervous system learns that holding the line is safe. And that’s what builds real self-trust.
2. Resting without justification
Raise your hand if rest makes you feel lazy, unproductive, or selfish. Don’t feel bad; plenty of people feel the same.
We grew up believing that rest has to be earned and that it only counts if everything else is done first. That limiting belief comes from being rewarded for overworking and praised for pushing through. (Or “hustle culture” by any other name.)
The fact of the matter is, rest is a biological need, not a reward. When you skip it, your thinking slows down, your brain becomes less efficient, and your nervous system stays on edge. This can make it way harder to handle everyday stress.
Psychology calls this “chronic hyperarousal.” And what comes with it? Burnout, mood swings, and decision fatigue, just to name a few.
Here’s where you can start: Take rest off the negotiation table. Don’t wait until the to-do list says you’re allowed to chill. Rest when your body needs it.
Essentially, put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. Because that’s what can help keep you steady enough to show up fully for yourself and for everything else.
3. Interrupting self-critical language
Ever messed something up and immediately slapped your forehead, calling yourself “Dufus!”? Well, it’s about time you give yourself a break.
That inner critic can do quite a number on your mental health. Research shows it increases stress and decreases motivation. In fact, it can trigger the same threat response in your brain as if someone else were yelling at you.
This doesn’t mean you need to start gushing positive affirmations in the mirror the next time you mess up. It just means your tone should shift.
“You might yearn to be treated with love and respect by others,” says Katherine, “but the truth is, is that no one can sustain treating you any better than you are treating yourself.”
Here’s where you can start: Catch one recurring phrase that you say to yourself when things go sideways. Then, rewrite it:
“This always happens” becomes “This is fixable.”
“I’m a mess” becomes “I’m having a rough day.”
“I can’t believe I did that” becomes “That wasn’t my best, but I know how to handle it.”
As you can see, you’re not pretending everything’s fine. What you’re doing is creating a mental space where you feel safe enough to keep going.
4. Asking for support directly
When you feel overwhelmed, do you ask for help? Or do you say “I’m fine” and keep going, hoping someone else will notice?
More often than not, women choose the latter. It’s what psychologist Dana Jack calls self-silencing. But the downside of holding back your needs and feelings to keep your relationships steady is that it can lead to stress, burnout, and even depression.
Some of this conditioning starts early. A study out of Stanford found that children as young as seven already believe asking for help makes them look weak or less capable. That belief stays long past childhood.
Here’s where you can start: Ask for help. You’re not the burden you may think you are. (In fact, research shows that people consistently underestimate how willing others are to help.)
And this is part of the inner work Katherine speaks to in Calling in “The One.” She says, “Until you are able to see yourself living the life that you truly want, it will be difficult for you to create it.”
5. Making decisions without consensus
Let’s say you’ve got a decision to make. You float it past a partner, a friend, or a mentor. “Should I go for it?” And you wait for the green light.
According to Katherine, you shouldn’t wait for someone to come rescue you. She advises, “You believe in yourself, and you take action to implement your creative ideas without waiting for permission or for someone else to do it for you.”
That kind of action builds something deeper. As philosopher Trudy Govier points out, self-trust is essential for personal autonomy and self-respect. It’s what helps you rely on your own judgment, even when it makes you feel vulnerable.
Here’s where you can start: Make one decision this week without looping others in first. It could be something simple, but something that matters to you, like saying no to plans you never wanted in the first place. And let that be enough.
5 self-love activities to boost confidence and self-worth
The fact that you’re alive, thinking, feeling, and giving a damn is proof you’ve got value.
Love doesn’t need your perfection. It needs the real you.
— Kristina Mӓnd-Lakhiani, trainer of Mindvalley’s From Awesome to Flawesome program
But the problem with the world is, we’re taught to measure that value by productivity, appearance, or how well we keep everyone else comfortable.
That kind of pressure chips away at confidence and makes feeling worthy conditional. As if it’s something you have to earn instead of something you already have.
“When you know that you are enough, you give the whole world permission to also know that you are enough,” says world-renowned therapist and bestselling author Marisa Peer in her Mindvalley program, Uncompromised Life.
Here are five ways to practice that kind of self-worth until it starts to feel real.
1. Praise yourself daily
Think back to how often you’ve told yourself “good job” this week. Once? Maybe twice?
Now think about how often you’ve pointed out what you did wrong.
See the problem?
According to Marisa, your mind believes what you keep telling it If all it hears is criticism, it learns not to trust you. But when it hears praise, especially from you, it starts building confidence from the inside out.
Here’s where you can start: You don’t need to wait for a big win. In fact, don’t. Praise yourself for showing up, for keeping a promise, and for being kind when it was hard.
“Every day you make a point, first thing and last thing, of praising yourself,” says Marisa. “Every day you notice the good things that you did, and you praise yourself.”
Who cares if it’s awkward? Your brain doesn’t care. It just needs repetition.
And that’s how self-worth becomes automatic and how the voice inside your head becomes a supporter, not a saboteur.
2. Replace criticism with compassion
It’s no secret that being hard on yourself can wear you down. And the only thing you’re doing is sabotaging yourself.
As Marisa points out, self-criticism weakens your mind’s belief in you. When it constantly hears “You always mess this up” or “You’re such a failure,” it takes them as instructions.
The antidote? Self-compassion. Dr. Neff’s research shows that it improves emotional resilience, reduces stress, and increases motivation over time.
“The day you began to develop superior praising skills and the same day that you developed the ability to shut out and to shut down destructive criticism is the day that your life changed amazingly,” says Marisa.
Here’s where you can start: Catch one critical thought today and choose to answer it with compassion.
Even a “This is hard, but I’m handling it” can make a great impact on how safe you feel inside your own mind.
3. Accept compliments instead of deflecting them
“You look great,” someone says to you. You may not feel like it in that moment, so what do you do? “It’s just the lighting,” you respond.
Friend, take the compliment. Research shows that they boost mood, create connection, and make everyone feel better—for both you and the person who complimented you.
As Marisa points out in her Mindvalley program, “Your words shape your reality.” So if you brush off every kind word, your mind starts filtering them out entirely. But when you practice receiving positive feedback, your mind starts to believe it.
Here’s where you can start: Next time someone pays you a compliment, say thank you. It’s as simple as that.
And if you’re up for it, pay them one back.
4. Become your own best friend
Here’s the reality: Studies find that many people treat others with more kindness than they treat themselves, especially when facing difficulty. And in one survey by beauty company Birchbox, 67% of people said they prioritize others’ well‑being over their own self‑care.
But why is it that when it comes to yourself, that kindness often disappears? You hold yourself to impossible standards and replay every misstep.
If Marisa has anything to say about it, it’s that you need to be your best friend.
“You need to stop that critical voice,” she says. “It doesn’t help you; it doesn’t serve you; it doesn’t benefit you.”
So show up for yourself. Show up with patience, honesty, and encouragement, especially on the hard days.
Here’s where you can start: The next time your inner critic pipes up, ask yourself, “Would I speak to my best friend like this?”
If the answer’s no, it doesn’t belong in your head either.
5. Drop the chase for perfection
Perfection seems like a worthy goal. But what is it exactly? What constitutes something as “perfect”?
It’s a made-up standard—shaped by social media, childhood expectations, or someone else’s idea of success. Like having a spotless home at all times, looking like a Stepford wife, or always saying yes because that’s what “good” girls were taught to do.
It’s important to note that there’s nothing wrong with having high standards or working toward something meaningful. Growth matters. Progress matters.
But the trouble starts when “not good enough yet” becomes your default setting. That’s when confidence drops, and self-worth takes a hit.
According to research, chasing perfection is linked with greater stress, anxiety, depression, and lower satisfaction with life. And, based on Kristina’s insights in her Mindvalley program, the further your real self is from the idealized picture in your head, the harder it is to love yourself.
“Love doesn’t need your perfection,” she says. “It needs the real you.”
It’s also a message worth centering in many self-love activities for kids. After all, that’s often where the chase for perfection begins and can quietly shape your self-image over time.
Here’s where you can start: Catch yourself in one moment this week when you’re trying to “get it right” at the cost of being kind to yourself. Take a minute and ask what you’d do if you didn’t need to be perfect but just real.
5 self-love therapy activities
Many of us learn that our worth depends on meeting certain conditions: being good, being useful, being approved of, and so on and so forth. That makes love feel like something to earn, not something we’re simply allowed to have.
So even if you’re doing well, it can feel like you’re not good enough. But therapy-based tools can help. They give your mind and body a way to feel safe again.
These practices rebuild emotional trust in yourself, one small step at a time. And when you feel safe with yourself, self-love doesn’t seem so far away.
1. Notice your defense pattern
Your brain is designed to protect you, according to Kristina. ”When the reality is not what you expect it to be,” she says, “it is a dangerous situation because it might elicit some very unpleasant emotions in you, maybe even painful emotions in you.” And to cope, the brain steps in and reshapes how you see the situation so those feelings feel easier to handle.
Studies on emotional processing have found that the amygdala can trigger defensive reactions before the thinking brain has time to assess what’s actually happening. That’s why when you, let’s say, get critical feedback at work, you might tell yourself, “It’s fine, I didn’t care about that project anyway,” instead of acknowledging that you feel disappointed or hurt.
Here’s where you can start: Keep an emotional diary for a few days. Write down what you felt and what situation triggered it.
Next to each emotion, mark whether you want more of it or less of it. For the ones you want less of, note one healthy way you could process that emotion, and schedule time to do it.
“That,” says Kristina, “is going to bring awareness into your emotional life.”
2. Write a compassionate letter to yourself
When you’re feeling down, it’s easy to be harsh on yourself. You might replay mistakes, doubt your worth, or feel like you should “just get over it.”
But, Kristina points out, the art of learning to be happy isn’t “to ignore or not notice the negative or be okay with the negative.” It’s actually to learn to work with it.
Instead of criticizing yourself, try writing a letter from the voice of someone who loves you. It could be a trusted friend, a kind teacher, or even a wiser version of you.
As research shows, this activity can reduce shame, anxiety, and self-criticism. In fact, it’s been found especially helpful for people struggling with harsh self-talk and emotional stress.
Here’s where you can start: Describe what you’re going through, without judgment. Then write a response using words that comfort, encourage, and gently remind you of what’s true.
You can save the letter and read it again later. Each time you do, it reinforces that you’re worthy of kindness, even from yourself.
3. Name your emotions as they come up
“Emotions are transient,” says Kristina. They move through you, whether you notice them or not.
However, when emotions stay unnamed, they tend to take over. Anxiety turns into tension, frustration turns into self-criticism, and before you know it, you’re reacting instead of responding.
Psychologists often encourage labeling emotions. This helps calm the nervous system and brings the thinking brain back online. Plus, it gives you a bit of space between the feeling and your next move.
Here’s where you can start: when something hits, say it plainly.
“I feel anxious.”
“I feel angry.”
“I feel disappointed.”
Go through the emotions list, and keep it simple and factual. And each time you do it, you strengthen trust in your ability to handle what you feel.
4. Create a safety anchor
Stress is part of being human. It’s useful in short bursts, like if you see a shifty person following you. But many people stay there longer than their bodies were built for.
The American Psychological Association’s Stress in America 2025 report found that many adults feel ongoing stress linked to social disconnection and uncertainty. And a large number also report physical symptoms like anxiety, fatigue, and headaches.
So when stress starts to feel like too much for you, create a safety anchor, like a word, a memory, a song, or the feeling of your feet on the floor. It gives your nervous system something familiar to return to.
Here’s where you can start: Choose one thing that brings a sense of calm. Keep it simple and personal.
Now, the trick is to practice using your safety anchor when you’re already calm. Take a slow breath and bring it to your mind. Notice how your body responds. Then repeat this a few times.
Later, when anxiety or overwhelm appears, return to the same anchor. Breathe and focus on it for a few seconds. This reminds your body that safety exists in the present moment.
5. Track tiny acts of self-kindness
Self-love rarely shows up in grand gestures. More often, it lives in the small choices you make when no one’s watching.
“When we relate to ourselves with tender self-compassion, we care for and nurture ourselves,” explains Dr. Neff in her book, Fierce Self-Compassion. And she highlights plenty of benefits you can reap from it: lower stress level, emotional agility, improved mood, and strengthened physical health and relationships. It also supports motivation in a steady, sustainable way.
That’s essentially the point in life. According to Kristina, the world doesn’t need you to sacrifice your well-being to prove your worth or keep everything running smoothly.
“What it needs is for you to be genuinely happy and at peace,” she says. “It is important because it is when you are happy and at peace with yourself that you can offer the world the best of you.”
Here’s where you can start: At the end of each day, write down one small thing you did for yourself. Maybe you took a real lunch break, spoke kindly to yourself after a mistake, or went to bed earlier than usual.
This trains your mind to notice care when it happens. And what you notice, you begin to repeat.
5 self-love activities for groups
Daily self‑love practices can be more fun when they’re done with others. After all, research shows that humans build self-understanding and emotional safety through connection with others.
So whether the group is a classroom, a workshop, a support circle, or a team, these self-love activities for adults can offer you a way to practice care, honesty, and emotional awareness in real time.
1. Guided emotional check-ins
“How are you feeling right now?” It may seem like an unassuming question, but for some people, it’s a difficult one to answer. Many aren’t taught to check in with the many types of emotions, let alone name them out loud.
This practice helps normalize that. When you hear others name stress, uncertainty, or relief, it can ease the pressure to perform or stay silent. What’s more, it builds trust by showing that all feelings are welcome.
Guided check-ins also strengthen emotional awareness. They help people recognize what’s happening internally and feel less alone in it.
Here’s where you can start: Open a session by asking everyone to share one word or short phrase that describes how they feel. Even a simple “On a scale from 1 to 10…” No explanations required.
2. Shared gratitude rounds
Gratitude often stays private. You feel it, think it, maybe write it down, and then move on. However, when you practice gratitude in a group, it turns appreciation into a visible experience.
For example, when you thank your partner at the dinner table for showing up that day, it brings their contribution into the open. Your children may start to notice that tone and begin naming what they appreciate, too.
Research shows that when people share gratitude in a group, they feel more connected to each other and more included in the group. Plus, it encourages openness, care, and trust over time.
Here’s where you can start: Set aside five minutes with a group of people. Go around once, and have each person share one thing they appreciate.
It can be about someone in the group, a shared moment, or something simple from the day. Keep it brief and sincere.
3. Reflective journaling
You may already know this, but journaling is a really powerful tool.
“Not only does it help you register what goes on in your day, your thoughts, your feelings, to record that so that you can actually get back to that when you need,” says Kristina. “Journaling helps you get through emotional turmoils, through emotional trauma.”
Research on expressive writing shows that putting thoughts and feelings into words can reduce stress and help people make sense of emotional experiences. When you do it in a group setting, it can help people feel less alone in what they’re carrying.
Here’s where you can start: Give everyone five minutes to write in response to one prompt. Keep it simple, like “What’s been taking up space in your mind lately?”
Sharing is optional. The writing itself already does important work.
4. Compassionate listening circles
If you’re unfamiliar with circles, they’re structured group conversations in a safe space. One person speaks at a time, and everyone else listens fully, without interrupting, giving advice, correcting, or sharing their own story. The focus is simply on being present with what the person is saying.
There are plenty of he circles, and she circles out there, but this practice isn’t limited to one gender or identity. It works because being listened to without interruption helps people feel seen, steady, and less alone in their own experience. And research in mental health settings shows that structured listening like this helps people feel safer and more connected in groups.
Here’s where you can start: Set a clear container. Decide how long each person has to speak and stick to it. Use a simple signal, like a timer or an object passed around, to mark whose turn it is.
5. Values clarification exercise
Values are the principles you want guiding your choices. They influence how you say yes, how you say no, and how you live with the consequences.
More often than not, when life starts to feel heavy or out of sync, decisions are shaped by pressure, habit, or other people’s expectations. But your relationship with the world, as Kristina points out, “is defined by your relationship with yourself.” When you ignore that, trust in yourself starts to thin.
For example, you get nonstop work emails late into the night. If health is something that’s important to you, the value-aligned choice might be to shut the laptop and rest, even if part of you worries about seeming uncommitted.
So ask yourself, “Why am I making this choice?” Listen for the answer that aligns with what you believe, not the one that sounds polite or safe.
Here’s where you can start: Write down 10 values that matter to you. Then circle the five you would keep even if approval disappeared. Take one decision you’re facing and choose the option that respects those values.
Frequently asked questions
How can I practice self-love?
Practicing self-love starts with how you treat yourself. It doesn’t necessarily mean bubble baths and massages (which fall more under self-care than self-love). It’s more about your self-talk, self-compassion, self-respect, self-trust, and self-worth.
What will really cement this habit is consistency. Repeating supportive choices teaches your mind that you are someone worth showing up for, even on those “I give up and want to eat ice cream in bed” days.
And as Kristina points out, “There is no such thing as too much love for yourself.” That’s something Nuchanat Kraprayoon, an actress from Thailand, finally understood after going through From Awesome to Flawesome.
“I thought self-love was something simple—something we all have heard about countless times,” she says. “It’s a powerful, transformative practice that everyone needs to explore.”
So start with self-love activities, and stop living as if love has to be earned.
What activities increase self-worth?
Self-worth grows when you see proof that you can trust yourself, not hype or confidence tricks. Think about it this way: every time you follow through, your brain logs evidence. And every time you ignore yourself, it does the same.
So these are self-love activities that help build self-worth:
- Praising yourself for effort, not just results.
- Setting boundaries and keeping them.
- Writing down your thoughts helps you see patterns.
- Asking for help when you need it.
- Following through on promises you make to yourself.
Each one sends the same message: your needs matter, and you have the courage to rely on yourself.
What is the strongest form of self-love?
The strongest form of self-love is staying loyal to yourself. You gut-check and choose to listen to it rather than going along with what other people suggest.
For instance, your group of friends wants to hit another bar, but you’re already spent. They pull out all the tricks to FOMO you into caving in. Instead of flustering out an “oh, fine” and tagging along, you go home and sleep.
Sure, it may sound like you’re being a party pooper. But you know when you’ve hit your limit, and you honor that.
After all, if you don’t love yourself, who will?
Spark your joy
“Love yourself first” may be another self-love slogan, but it’s the very essence of your happiness.
No one knows this more than Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, who walked away from perfectionism after realizing that striving to be “awesome” was costing her connection to herself. That’s the premise of her Mindvalley program.
She doesn’t ask you to be positive, polished, or perfect. Rather, she teaches you how to stay with yourself when things feel uncomfortable, imperfect, or real.
In this 25-day program, you’ll learn how to:
- Stop abandoning yourself when emotions get intense
- Understand your patterns instead of fighting them
- Build self-trust through honest, repeatable actions
- Let go of perfection without lowering your standards
- Create a steady relationship with yourself that doesn’t depend on approval
Don’t take it at face value, though. Based on post-program participant data, 82% of students reported a meaningful shift toward deeper self-acceptance, and 98% experienced a lasting sense of greater self-love and inner alignment.
That includes Dr. Cindy Mtunga from Tanzania. From Awesome to Flawesome has brought her back to a grounded, loving space that she needed more than she realized. She shares with Mindvalley:
This journey has given me so much clarity—not just about the path I’m walking, but how I show up in the world. It’s amazing how radiating that form of clarity can impact others.
So if you, too, want to turn self-love into something real, the From Awesome to Flawesome program is the place to start.
Welcome in.
