There’s a good chance your life is ruled by a set of outdated, hand-me-down beliefs. “Brules,” as Vishen, the founder and CEO of Mindvalley, calls them. Short for bullsh*t rules.
Society hands us nonsense rules, and we accept them without question. The “get a real job” brule. The “success means suffering” brule. The “don’t rock the boat” brule. Sound familiar?
But the fact is, brules aren’t laws. They’re myths wrapped in authority’s clothing.
And once you see them for what they are, you’ll wonder why you ever obeyed them in the first place.
What are brules?
“Brules” are the unspoken “shoulds” that dictate how you work, love, succeed, and fail. Vishen describes them as the rules we take on “from our outside environment, from our culture, our religion, our parents.” Even though these limiting beliefs are meant to guide us with love, they “actually hold us back.”
But that’s the thing, right? Society loves its rules. They’re neat, they’re orderly, and they keep everyone coloring inside the lines. But every so often, a rule sneaks in that makes no sense.
“They are preset definitions of how life should work,” Vishen explains in his Mindvalley program, Be Extraordinary. And for a long time, he followed one of the most common brules: success means following the safest, most logical path.
For him, that meant being an engineer. “If you want to be rich, go into computers like Bill Gates,” his grandfather told him. So he did. Aced school, got into a top university, and landed a coveted job at Microsoft.
But while his résumé screamed success, his soul was running on empty. So he quit. That led him to Mindvalley, to work that fuels him, to success on his own terms.
Brules are the rules that we take on from our outside environment, from our culture, our religion, our parents, even though they mean to guide us with love, but these are the rules that actually hold us back.
— Vishen, trainer of Mindvalley’s Be Extraordinary program
The thing nobody tells you is, following these so-called rules doesn’t necessarily earn you respect. One study found that when you challenge the status quo on purpose, people are more likely to see you as a leader, not a rebel without a cause.
Abraham Lincoln, Richard Branson, Oprah, Malala Yousafzai, Greta Thunberg—there’s no shortage of familiar faces who’ve thrown society’s rulebook into the fire.
As Vishen says, “There’s nothing more captivating than a person vibrant with life and passion and pursuing their calling.” And when you’re intentional, confident, and aligned with a higher purpose, brules don’t stand a chance.
Where do they come from?
No one is born believing they must follow societal norms. So where do these brules come from? Vishen names five origins:
- Childhood indoctrination. The beliefs of parents, teachers, and authority figures shape our worldview before we even know we have a choice.
- Authority figures. We absorb ideas from politicians, institutions, and societal leaders, often without questioning their validity.
- The need to belong. People adopt brules to fit in, even when they conflict with personal values.
- Social proof. If “everyone” does it, we assume it must be right (just check the 1960s cigarette ads).
- Internal insecurities. We assign false meaning to life experiences, creating brules that limit us without even realizing it.
And that’s the trap—brules become so ingrained that we stop questioning them. They exist for no reason other than “that’s just how it’s always been.”
“The problem with brules is that they act as limitators on your true potential,” Vishen explains. “Brules really hold you back. They prevent you from success; they prevent you from real happiness; they prevent you from fully expressing yourself and kicking butt in the world.”
And yet, many of us follow them like gospel, never stopping to ask who made them or whether they even make sense.
10 examples of brules
“Psychologists tell us that by the time we’re in our mid-30s, our identity or personality will be completely formed,” says Dr. Joe Dispenza in his book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.
By then, much of what we do, believe, and react to isn’t a conscious choice; it’s a subconscious program running in the background. Driving a car, brushing our teeth, overeating when we’re stressed…
That’s exactly how brules take hold: they become subconscious. Like these 10 you’ve probably been following without even realizing it:
- You need a college degree to be successful.
- Work hard, and success will follow.
- You have to wait for the “right time” to chase your dreams.
- Money is the root of all evil.
- You must stick to one career path.
- Love is painful.
- More hours = more productivity.
- People (or groups of people) are inherently bad.
- You shouldn’t quit. Winners never quit.
- It’s selfish to put yourself first.
Keep living by these societal norms, and you’ll continuously reinforce the same patterns. But, as Dr. Dispenza suggests, “If you want a new outcome, you will have to break the habit of being yourself, and reinvent a new self.”
So question them, challenge them, rewire them, and your life starts to shift.
How brules limit personal growth and what happens when you break free
How many times have you second-guessed yourself? Hesitated before taking a risk? Dismissed a gut feeling?
Those are brules at work.
“Our internal insecurities make us create brules,” Vishen explains. “And then we live under these operating systems without realizing that we made it all up.”
Psychologically, they condition you to shrink. Research shows that the brain prioritizes familiar patterns, even when they hinder self-improvement. The more you obey limiting beliefs, the more your neural pathways reinforce them. You don’t even question them anymore; they just become “the way things are.”
Brules really hold you back. They prevent you from success; they prevent you from real happiness; they prevent you from fully expressing yourself and kicking butt in the world.
— Vishen, trainer of Mindvalley’s Be Extraordinary program
And that’s where the real damage happens. They “box you in,” as Vishen points out, and “prevent you from fully expressing yourself and living the life that you want.”
For instance, only half of U.S. workers feel deeply satisfied with their jobs (meaning the other 50% are really not). And 55% of unhappy couples remain in marriages longer than they should.
You choose careers that don’t excite you. Stay in relationships that drain you. Follow paths that were never yours to begin with.
But they’re bullsh*t for a reason. Which means you can break free.
Much like Bobby Crooks, a student from the U.S., who realized he had been living on autopilot, chasing success by society’s rules. That is, until personal growth helped him redefine his path.
Or Grace, a writer from the U.K., who walked away from a high-powered government career to build a life on her own terms. She realized that the biggest brule holding her back was the belief that breaking them for herself wasn’t possible.
The bottom line is, the moment you see a brule for what it is, you reclaim your empowerment.
Vishen’s guide to breaking free from brules
How do you know if a belief is a brule or a rule worth keeping? The answer lies in mindset shifts. And Vishen suggests running it through a simple five-question test.
1. Is it based on trust and hope in humanity?
Many brules exist to control, limit, or divide. They thrive on fear—fear of failure, rejection, not fitting in… But if a belief assumes the worst in people, asks you to distrust others, or promotes scarcity over abundance, it’s worth questioning.
Take the brule that people are inherently selfish. We’re told to be cautious, to protect ourselves, to not expect kindness from others. Yet, in Norway and Denmark, many small farms operate on the honor system, leaving fresh produce on unmanned stands with a box for payment (and theft is virtually non-existent).
Or consider the belief that strangers can’t be trusted. But studies show that communities rally together in times of crisis, such as natural disasters, with people risking their own safety to help others.
“Extraordinary minds do not need to seek validation from outside opinion or through the attainment of goals,” Vishen points out. “Instead, they are truly at peace with themselves and the world around them. They live fearlessly, immune to criticism or praise, and fueled by their own inner happiness and self-love.”
The fact of the matter is, real personal transformation starts when you shift from fear-based thinking to trust. Trust in yourself, in your ability to adapt, in the idea that the world is not out to get you—but to support your growth.
2. Does it violate the “golden rule”?
Treat others how you want to be treated. How many times did your parents tell you that growing up?
Yet, as we enter society, we forget. We judge. Exclude. Suppress. Damn you, brule.
Look, for instance, at the brule that certain people are “better” or “more deserving” based on status. We respect CEOs but undervalue teachers. We admire wealth but look down on the poor. If we were in different shoes, would we want to be treated the same way?
Or consider the brule that politeness means suppressing your voice. People are taught not to challenge authority, not to question unfair treatment, not to “rock the boat.” But if the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you want someone to stand up for you?
“Your life is not about you,” Vishen says. “Rather, your life, in the words of Neale Donald Walsch, ‘is about the lives of everyone else you touch.’”
At its core, the “golden rule” of treating others as you want yourself to be treated is about fairness, empathy, and integrity. If a belief doesn’t pass this test, it’s just a brule in disguise.
3. Does it serve your happiness?
Work hard, grind through the struggle, and then—maybe—you’ll be happy. That’s what many of us are taught.
Bullsh*t. Research shows that happier people are actually more productive, creative, and successful, not the other way around.
“If we define happiness as most people do, as simply the elevated emotion of bliss, then we could create a future in the human race where we take you, we plug you into a machine, we fill you with nonstop blissful chemicals, and your life is complete,” Vishen highlights. “That isn’t really happiness.”
So why do we keep postponing joy like it’s some kind of reward we have to earn?
Look at the people who defy this. The ones who quit their “secure” jobs to do what they love. The ones who prioritize joy over obligation. The ones who don’t let the fear of what’s “practical” keep them stuck.
They aren’t lucky. They just stopped making happiness a future event.
Instead, they made it a process—one that comes from adopting a growth mindset. As Vishen puts it, “Happiness from growth is one of the most powerful forms of happiness you can get.”
4. Is it something that you took on because of culture or religion?
Nobody is born believing in brules. They’re handed to us—wrapped in tradition, stamped with authority, and reinforced by generations who never questioned them either.
“The culturescape”—collective set of beliefs, norms, values, and rules imposed by society—“really has its grip on you,” says Vishen. “You live your life not often for yourself, but for your parents or your grandparents or your spouse.”
Take last names. Ever wondered why, in most cultures, women take their husband’s surname? It’s not romance. It’s an outdated relic from when wives were considered property, and a name change marked the “transfer” from father to husband.
And the five-day workweek? An artifact of the Industrial Revolution. The idea that you need to sit in an office from 9 to 5 to be “productive” is a huge brule designed for factory labor, not modern creativity.
As Vishen quotes from another writer, “Tradition is nothing more than peer pressure from dead people.”
The point? Cultural and religious norms aren’t always rooted in logic. Some serve us. Others keep us stuck.
5. Is it something that you chose rationally or through imitation?
When was the last time you made a life decision that was truly yours? No, not something you copied from your parents, something your friends were doing. Or anything that felt right simply because it was familiar.
Most of what we believe isn’t the result of deep thinking; it’s really social osmosis. We absorb it from family, media, teachers, society. It seeps into our brains unnoticed, until one day we’re living a life we never consciously designed.
And once you settle into a belief, it starts to feel like reality. Research shows that social influence can actually change perception itself. In other words, if enough people around you believe something, there’s a good chance you’ll believe it too.
Look at fashion. In the early 2000s, people walked around in low-rise jeans and Von Dutch trucker hats like that was a good idea. Why? Because they chose it? Or because everyone else was doing it?
“We sometimes take on brules that hold us back because we want to conform so that we can fit in with a particular group of people,” Vishen explains. It could be the workplace culture you adopt, the religion you follow, or the traditions of your community. “While these groups give us a sense of belonging, some of these groups could have really dangerous brules, and you want to be aware of that.”
Now, think about it: if you stripped away imitation, expectation, and autopilot thinking, would you still choose the life you’re living?
Unleash your limitless
For years, these brules have run the show. Like a hack playwright feeding you tired lines, convincing you that safety is better than audacity, that struggle is the price of success, that questioning the script is downright improper…
But now? You know better. You see the strings. And once you see them, you can cut them.
Because the truth is, you weren’t meant to live by someone else’s script. Or to be meek, middling, and marionette-like.
You were meant to be audacious. Expansive. Sovereign over your own bloody life.
“Listen to your soul and break the brules,” Vishen says. And in his free Be Extraordinary masterclass, you’ll learn how to do exactly that—by dismantling the beliefs that don’t serve you and rewriting the ones that do.
This isn’t self-improvement. It’s self-liberation. A full-scale reclamation of your mind, your potential, and your damn life.
Because you’ve spent enough time being docile. Like Lincoln and Branson, Malala and Greta, Bobby and Grace—now, it’s your turn to be extraordinary.
Welcome in.
