Chances are, when you hear the words “tantra” and “massage” in the same sentence, X-rated visuals pop into your mind. Kudos, though, to that particular industry for popularizing the idea of incorporating massage into one’s sexual life.
However, contrary to what you may know about the topic at hand, tantra massage is more than just a prelude to sex. It so happens that this practice, when used mindfully, can connect your sexual energy with a powerful awakening and healing.
Intrigued? Perfect. Here’s what you should know about tantra massage and how to use it to your benefit.
What does tantra mean?
The word itself refers to “loom” or “weave” in Sanskrit. The concept is more commonly referred to in regard to tantric sex.
According to the late intimacy expert Psalm Isadora, tantra teaches you “how to be authentic in intimacy and say what you really want, as well as being vulnerable enough to connect on a deeper level.” In short, it’s a total mind-body-spirit connection. (She, unfortunately, passed away in 2017, but her teachings are still available on Mindvalley’s Tantra Touch Quest.)
And since your mind is your biggest sex organ, tantra also helps you be mindful during your escapades. (The downside, unfortunately, is that if you’ve got any psychological roadblocks, they’ll most likely show up in your sex life sooner or later.)
What is a tantra massage?
While tantra massage is often mistaken as sexual, the use of the word “tantra” instead of “sexual” is deliberate.
Sexual massage is on a physical level with the intention of leading to sex. Tantra massage, on the other hand, is about slowing down, getting out of your head, and feeling what your body wants.
Here are key aspects of this practice:
- Deep breathing: Regardless of if you’re receiving or giving the massage, it helps you connect with each other on a more intimate level.
Additionally, deep breathing equals mindfulness. In turn, it helps you deal with stress, anxiety, and negative emotions to fully experience and enjoy the pleasures.
- Delayed gratification: You may immediately feel aroused and even ready for release. But be mindful to slow your roll and focus on your deep breathing.
Tantra massage is about postponing the immediate gain in favor of a greater reward later.
- Spreading the energy: This massage helps locate the disconnected areas of your body and bring everything to life.
And when you feel that energy in your genitals, it’s important to focus on spreading it throughout your whole body.
The goal of tantra massage
For many people, tantra massage is used as a form of foreplay. It does involve massaging your erogenous zones and genitals. And it can lead to sex and orgasm.
However, that’s not the main goal of this massage. Instead, its main focus is on giving and receiving pleasure. It does so by improving your libido, more commonly known as sexual desire.
Now, your libido is influenced by three factors:
- Biological. Sex hormones, like testosterone and estrogen, work together with your neurotransmitters (such as dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine) to help regulate your sexual drive.
- Psychological. Stress increases cortisol levels, which can suppress your sex hormones and, in turn, lowers sexual arousal.
- Social. This includes whether you have an intimate connection with your partner, problems within your relationship, or if you’re just too busy for sex.
When all three factors are in synergy, your health and sex life start feeling a lot like that infamous Spice Girls’ anthem: spice up your life.
Exploring the tantra massages
When it comes to tantra massages, approaching your partner’s body (or even your own) is a sacred ritual. That’s why these practices are sometimes called “sacred spot massages.”
And when it comes to sacred spots on the body, there’s the yoni (or vagina) and the lingam (or penis). Hence, you’ve got the yoni massage and the lingam massage.
Yoni massage
This massage encourages you to slow your roll and awakens your inner sex goddess. “The yoni sacred spot massage has the benefits of giving more energy and more pleasure than most women have ever experienced,” says Psalm.
Its intention is about giving and receiving. So it allows you, as the yoni owner, to feel loved, worshipped, and honored. And because of that, the yoni massage has helped some women heal their sexual shame and trauma.
Lingham massage
This massage is a far cry from climaxing as quickly as possible. Instead, it focuses on stimulating the whole body to edge that feeling of arousal for a longer period of time.
Like the yoni massage, it’s all about giving and receiving as well as loving and worshipping. “Remember, this is more of a ritual and approaching this as a sacred spot massage for men,” says Psalm.
Psalm suggests doing them for at least 15–30 minutes for both sacred spot massages. It will allow you to focus on “nothing more than allowing yourself to receive and feel more pleasure” than you’ve ever had.
What are the benefits of tantra massage?
Massages, in general, are known to positively affect your physical and psychological health.
In fact, one study in the Journal of Athletic Training found that massage after a workout could reduce muscle soreness by approximately 30%. A separate study in the International Journal of Neuroscience found massages can help decrease cortisol levels and increase dopamine and serotonin levels.
With tantra massage, those benefits carry over. Here’s how:
1. It harnesses and awakens your sacred sexuality
Because sex is not just about having sex, according to Psalm. She points out, “It’s understanding that sexual energy is this powerful, creative force inside of us that manifests and creates our entire life.”
2. There’s a deeper, more intimate connection with your partner
It’s more than just a quickie. One research found that partner massages can “improve [a couple’s] physical and mental well-being while showing affection for one another.”
3. You’re more aware
Your body sensations, emotions, sexual pleasure—you feel it all. Awareness and mindfulness give you insight into your beliefs, whether they’re empowering you or holding you back. And bonus: being sexually mindful can lead to better self-esteem, relationships, and sex lives.
When we give attention and love to our genitals—to our sexual center—we actually find power.
— Helena Houdova, Czech supermodel and humanitarian
In an interview with Vishen on The Mindvalley Podcast, Helena explains how tantra practices helped her connect with her sexuality and sexual energy. That enabled her to let go of her past pain and trauma. “I believe sexuality and sexual energy; when we learn to work with that, we can heal ourselves,” she says.
When the focus is on sensations of the moment instead of a firework ending, you may just find new ways of pleasure for your partner and even for yourself.
More to explore
Tantra massage is just the beginning of your sexual awakening. If you want to go from exploring to understanding, head on over to Mindvalley.
There, you can find more resources to help you discover the marvelous aspects of sexuality and sexual energy. From guided tantra teachings with Psalm Isadora, mind-blowing sex meditations with Emily Fletcher, sexual health advice by Dr. Amy Killen, as well as the “Waves of Pleasure” workshop with Bibi Brzozka, there’s a whole new world of pleasure waiting for you.
