You don’t have to look far to see tribalism in action.
In high school cliques. In Red vs. Blue. Even in the football team (whether it be NFL Sundays or Premier League Saturdays, no judgment here) you pledge your loyalty to.
It’s all over pop culture, too. Remember the Titans brought Black and white players into the same locker room, each carrying different rules, heroes, and histories. Mean Girls drew a hard line between the Plastics and everyone else. And, whether we care to admit it or not, we’ve all wanted to be a Bridgerton.
Michael Morris, an expert in cultural psychology at Columbia University and author of Tribal: How the Cultural Instincts That Divide Us Can Help Bring Us Together, has spent decades studying why humans do this—why we sort ourselves into groups, adopt their codes, and defend them like family.
“We are the animal that is wired to internalize the patterns of the group that surrounds us,” he explains in an interview on the Mindvalley Book Club with Kristina Mӓnd-Lakhiani. “And then, we are motivated to express those patterns and reproduce the culture.”
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. In workplaces, in politics, in families, and even in comment sections of your favorite social media platform.
And understanding it might be the first step toward actually doing something about it.
Watch the full interview:
What are tribal instincts and why do they matter?
Tribal instinct is the deep, evolutionary drive that pushes us, as humans, to connect, protect, and preserve. It’s the ancient wiring that helped our ancestors survive in tight-knit groups of hunters and gatherers. And today, it’s still running the show, guiding how we belong, behave, and bond.
“We are like sponges for culture,” Michael points out. And that matters more than we realize.
Researchers have found that our ability to imitate, learn from others, and build on that knowledge over time is what helped humans cooperate in large groups. One study, for example, explains how culture evolves not just through teaching, but through generations of people copying each other and tweaking what came before.
This instinct to absorb what’s around us is what makes human life possible. Without it, we wouldn’t have culture. We wouldn’t have language, tools, or any shared way of living. We wouldn’t have the stories we pass down, the values we teach our kids, or the tiny habits that shape our cultural identity.
It’s the glue that turns a crowd into a community and strangers into a tribe.
The three tribal instincts
Michael explains that our evolutionary habits operate through three core drives:
- The peer instinct is all about fitting in. It’s why we copy the habits, slang, and behaviors of the people around us. Early humans needed this instinct to build trust and survive in groups. Today, it’s why trends spread faster than wildfire and why we feel FOMO when we don’t “get” the joke.
- The hero instinct is the drive to earn respect and contribute to the group. It’s why we look up to role models and try to emulate them. In ancient times, this primal drive pushed people to take risks for the greater good, like hunting dangerous prey or protecting the vulnerable. Now, it’s why we obsess over influencers, CEOs, and anyone who seems to have it all figured out.
- The ancestor instinct is the pull to preserve traditions and honor the past. It’s why rituals, family recipes, and cultural practices feel so important. For early humans, this instinct ensured survival by passing down knowledge. Today, it’s why we cling to nostalgia and why change can feel so uncomfortable.
Now, zoom in on them individually, these internal programmings might not make logical sense. They can seem inefficient, emotional, or even silly. Like, why copy others? Why obsess over respect? Or why follow old traditions?
But at a bigger level, as Michael explains, they “help us create rich cultures.” They allow us to coordinate in large groups and pass down knowledge over generations. That’s how we developed shared language, tools, rituals, and systems, which are the building blocks of civilization.
So while these behaviors may seem “irrational” (in Michael’s words) in the moment, they’re deeply functional over time. In fact, they’re what helped humans in “carrying our species to its position of dominating the planet.”
Why tribal instincts are causing problems today
While tribal instincts helped our Stone Age ancestors from being eaten alive by wildlife or the elements, it begs the question: What are they doing for us today?
Because, the reality is, the drives themselves haven’t changed. We still copy our peers, chase approval, and protect our group’s story.
Only now, it shows up as political polarization, online echo chambers, toxic culture, a growing resistance to “the other,” and so on. Most of the time, though, we don’t even realize we’re doing it.
Think about high school cliques. That instinct to “fit in” creates a sense of belonging, but it can also become a rigid wall that isolates anyone who doesn’t wear the right clothes or say the right things. The same thing happens at work or online, where small group norms harden into invisible barriers.
According to psychological research, this tribal behavior is a deeply rooted part of how the human mind works. Studies show that group loyalty and in-group bias show up across all types of people, across all belief systems. No one is immune.
What’s more, as Michael explains, “these things are more visible when they go wrong than when they’re functioning adaptively… and that’s part of why it’s become a kind of trope to despair the tribal side of our nature.”
In other words, when tribal instincts backfire, they reveal what happens when connection turns into division. And when it does, it’s easy to blame human nature instead of learning how to work with it.
That’s why people cut off family members over party lines. It’s why office cliques form. It’s why outrage travels faster than facts.
When we’re unaware of the grip these instincts have over us, they take the wheel. And then, it’s all too easy to mistake loyalty for truth, conflict for clarity, and sameness for safety.
Michael Morris’s 3 meta-shifting tips to make tribal instincts work for you
We can’t turn off our tribal instincts and, based on Michael’s insights, we shouldn’t even try. But what we can do is get smarter about how we use them.
“We want to have our hands on the levers,” Michael says, “and to accept these as parts of human nature that we have to work with when we work with humans.”
So if you’re leading a team, building a community, or just trying not to lose your mind on the internet, here are a few ways Michael suggests making those instincts work for you:
1. Start with what’s already there
Every group has its own unspoken rules, habits, rituals, and inside jokes. It could be a startup team, a book club, or your extended family group chat.
But walking into that culture as an outsider can feel like stepping into someone else’s living room without knowing the rules. Do you take your shoes off? Sit anywhere? Wait for the host to speak?
Michael explains that the key to working with a group’s dynamic is to first see it. For instance, if you’re walking into a company as a new CEO, he advises you “to gain a better sense of the culture that’s already there before you start to import some culture that you think would be a good idea for the organization.”
Watch how people behave when no one’s looking. What do they repeat? Who do they admire? What stories get told at lunch, in Slack, or during onboarding? These patterns reveal group behavior already shaped by peer, hero, and ancestor instincts.
In other words, the culture is written in behavior. And instead of bulldozing what’s already working, great leaders meet the group where it is. They double down on the healthy parts and gently guide the messy bits into order.
This goes for any organization, not only work-related. Just step back and observe. Decode. And then work with the currents that are already moving beneath the surface.
2. Use peer, hero, and ancestor instincts on purpose
Let’s go back to the CEO example again. You’ve taken time to observe the culture and see what’s already there. Now what?
This is where you start working with the instincts, not against them.
Want people to pick up a new habit or mindset? Lean on the peer instinct. Get a few respected folks to model the change, and others will naturally follow.
Trying to keep momentum during tough moments? Tap into the ancestor instinct. Remind folks of the traditions, stories, or shared wins that brought them this far.
And if you want to build momentum or inspire initiative? Activate the hero instinct. Shine a light on someone who stepped up and made a difference.
As Michael says, “most of what you need from employees in an organization you can’t set incentives for.” But you can use these instincts to guide behavior, build trust, and move the group forward from the inside out.
3. Mix the tribes on neutral ground
Let’s say you’re leading a team where two departments don’t get along very well. Maybe one team focuses on boosting creativity and the other sticks to processes and systems. Every meeting feels awkward, and it’s hard to get them on the same page.
In that situation, another meeting won’t help. What can help is getting everyone together for something simple and low-pressure. Like ordering food, sharing a meal, or doing an activity that has nothing to do with work.
Michael gives the example of Make America Dinner Again, a program where people with opposite political views sit down and eat together. They don’t argue or try to change minds. They just talk and get to know each other as people.
That kind of setup makes people feel safe and more open. In fact, research from Oxford found that sharing meals helps people feel more connected and increases trust, even among strangers.
Even something like cooking together can break the ice. As psychotherapist Charlotte Hastings explains in an article in The Guardian, preparing a meal side by side is “how we began as a species,” and it “gives us a way of expressing love between one another.”
“That’s the kind of slightly counterintuitive program,” he says, “with the hope that in the long run that’s the best way to increase understanding.”
This same idea can work in all kinds of group settings. Like teams, volunteers, or even extended families. If you see two groups that are not connecting, bring them together in a relaxed way. Host a lunch, start a fun game, or go on a group walk.
The goal isn’t to fix big problems right away but to help people see each other as human again. And that’s when real progress starts to happen.
Fuel your mind
If you’ve ever walked into a room and felt like you didn’t belong…
If you’ve ever lost a connection with someone you care about over one opinion…
Or if you’ve ever wondered why some groups feel like home and others feel like war zones…
Then Michael Morris’s Tribal: How the Cultural Instincts That Divide Us Can Help Bring Us Together might change the way you see everything.
It breaks down what makes groups tick, like why we copy others, cling to leaders, and hold on to traditions even when they don’t serve us anymore. But more than that, Michael explains how to use those instincts to build stronger teams, deeper trust, and better conversations.
That’s the thing: we don’t need to force people to be different. What we need is a better way to understand how people think, act, and connect. And in a world where division is the norm, that kind of understanding is powerful.
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