A few days ago, I was standing in a dry riverbed in Namibia.
Watching a herd of elephants move across the sand.
No noise.
No competition.
No visible struggle for power.
Just… flow.
Twenty animals moving as one.
And at the front?
Not the biggest elephant.
Not the strongest.
Not the most aggressive.
The oldest female.
And in that moment, something clicked.
What if everything we’ve been taught about leadership is backwards?
The leader who doesn’t perform
Here’s what fascinated me.
The matriarch wasn’t acting like a leader.
She wasn’t posturing.
She wasn’t signaling dominance.
She wasn’t trying to look powerful.
She wasn’t even trying.
She was simply keeping everyone alive.
Namibian desert elephants are among the most extraordinary animals on Earth.
They survive in one of the harshest environments imaginable.
They can go up to four days without water. They walk hundreds of kilometers across barren land. They dig wells in dry riverbeds to access water hidden beneath the sand
And here’s the wild part:
The herd survives because one female remembers where to go.
Water sources humans don’t even know exist.
Migration routes passed down through memory.
Patterns encoded over decades.
When a matriarch dies too early…
The herd doesn’t just grieve.
It gets lost.
The knowledge dies with her.
Nature’s hidden leadership model
It turns out… elephants aren’t unique.
Across the animal kingdom, something fascinating appears.
The most intelligent, social mammals, the ones that rely on cooperation, memory, and emotional bonds, evolve toward female-led systems.
And in humans?
It goes even further.
The rarest trait in Nature
Out of more than 5,000 mammal species on Earth, only a handful have evolved menopause.
Humans.
Killer whales.
Pilot whales.
Belugas.
Narwhals.
That’s it.
Now think about this.
Evolution is ruthless.
It eliminates anything that doesn’t serve survival.
So why would it turn off reproduction in a female who still has decades of life ahead?
We assume menopause is a ‘decline’. A biological shutdown.
But it turns out, it’s an upgrade.
Scientists call this the Grandmother Hypothesis.
In certain species, older females become so valuable to survival not by giving birth, but by giving guidance, that evolution rewired their biology on purpose to free them from reproduction.
So they could lead.
Let that sink in.
Evolution didn’t make a mistake.
It made a decision.
Stop reproducing. Your value now is wisdom.
The pattern we can’t ignore
Look at the species where this shows up:
Elephants. Whales. Humans.
The three most socially complex mammals on Earth.
They all:
- Live in multi-generational families
- Communicate across distance
- Form lifelong bonds
- Mourn their dead
- Depend on shared knowledge to survive
And when left to evolve naturally…
They all arrive at the same answer:
Put the wisest female in front.
Not a decline. A promotion.
Now let’s bring this home.
When a woman goes through menopause…
We treat it as a decline.
Loss.
A closing chapter.
But biologically?
Something profound is happening.
Her role isn’t shrinking.
It’s expanding.
She is being freed from reproduction to focus on something far more important:
Protecting.
Guiding.
Stabilizing the group.
And here’s the truth most people miss:
Evolution does not keep anything alive that isn’t useful.
So the fact that women live 30–40 years beyond reproduction tells us something extraordinary:
Those decades are not leftover time. They are mission-critical years.
In whale pods, when a post-menopausal female dies, her sons are significantly more likely to die within a year.
In early human tribes, older women were the living libraries of survival.
They carried memories.
And memory meant life.
So no, Menopause isn’t the end.
It’s the promotion into leadership.
So what happened to us?
Because if this is what we evolved for…
Why does our world look so different?
Why do we consistently choose leaders based on:
Dominance, Charisma, Visibility, and Performance.
Instead of:
Wisdom, Memory, Emotional intelligence, and Long-term thinking.
Of 194 countries, only about 10% are led by women.
We didn’t evolve this way.
We constructed this.
The lie about emotion
And here’s where it gets uncomfortable.
One of the most common arguments against female leadership is this:
“Women are too emotional.”
So let’s look at the data.
Globally:
75% of suicides are male. Men die by suicide at 4x the rate of women.
Men commit ~90% of homicides.
Over 95% of road rage incidents are male
That’s not emotion.
That’s unprocessed emotion
Research shows:
| Men suppress | Women process |
| Men avoid | Women regulate |
So let me ask you a question:
Which gender is actually struggling more with emotional control?
We’ve created a world where:
The group more likely to explode under emotional pressure is called “rational.”
The group better at processing emotion is called “too emotional.”
That’s not logic. That’s conditioning.
Two operating systems
This isn’t about men vs women.
It’s about how you lead.
There are two leadership operating systems:
| 1. Performance Leadership – Speed – Dominance – Competition – Control It asks: Who wins? | 2. Matriarch Leadership – Wisdom – Memory – Empathy – Long-term thinking It asks: What sustains? |
Both exist in all of us.
But look at the world today, and ask yourself honestly:
Which one are we rewarding?
Why this matters now
Because we are entering a different kind of world.
AI is reshaping industries.
Climate instability is accelerating.
Global systems are shifting fast.
This is no longer a game of conquest.
It’s a game of survival.
And survival doesn’t favor the loudest voice.
It favors the clearest one.
The one who remembers.
The one who sees patterns.
The one who knows when to move and when to wait.
That’s the matriarch.
The moment this becomes personal
Because this isn’t just about governments.
It’s about you.
At some point in your life, the game changes.
You stop needing to prove.
You stop needing to win.
And you start needing to: guide, protect, and elevate others
That’s the shift.
From:
Performer → Steward
Competitor → Guardian
Leader → Matriarch energy
(Yes, even if you’re a man.)
The question that actually matters
Standing there in that riverbed…
Watching that herd move as one…
I wasn’t watching animals.
I was watching a system that works.
A system tested over millions of years.
And it kept pointing to the same truth:
Experience over ego
Memory over speed
Collective care over dominance
So the real question isn’t: “Should women lead?”
The real question is: What kind of leadership do we need now?
Because nature already answered that.
And she’s been right every single time.
If this made you pause, question, or see leadership differently… share your reflection and leave a comment. Those conversations are where real shifts begin.
With Love,
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261 Responses
This article makes a lot of sense. One part which I really like is about not who is better than whom, a competition between male and female to become a leader, which goes everywhere, but focusing on the type of leadership, the matriarch one, which can be cultivated in both males and female.
The more we try to find out who is better, the more we will be going in the same direction of competition just in a different way, it’s like a same book with a different cover. Instead focusing on the attributes and the qualities makes a lot of sense.
I completely agree with this well-thought reflection. Matriarchal societies were more respectful of all living things. Unfortunately, the patriarchy dominated by force and we still live the consequences and repeat the “brules” we need to awake and restore harmony to ensure our survival. Together we can!
Hola por aquí Fátima de Uruguay.
Me tocaste el corazón con las elefantas. Soy muy fan de ellas y como protegen a la manada.
Hace bastante tiempo sigo a Azul Anaité. Ella propone sacar a nuestra abuela interior para guiar y guiarnos como mujeres. (Algún día iré a Guatemala a hacer sus rituales) Te abrazo y agradezco.
Thank you Vishen for this insights. I am a postmenopause woman over 60 that feels better than anytime in my life. I am active, curious. I have a lot of experience as consultant, executive and Interim executive. What people say or not say affect me less than before. I cope better with stressful situations because I am able to disconnect better. My children are independent adults. I have more freedom than some years before. I feel that I am in my peek years. Let us see if AI causes our “first world” to forget women age and to take advantage of all what we can offer.
Beautiful observed and written as usual , Vishen, but most of all so empowering to women post menopause.Thank you for writing this.
I ve thought this the for a couple of years now. I think we need more female leaders. The world has had such awesome female leaders,example Cleopatra,Joan of arch,Queen Elizabeth, princess Diana ect.. I believe it will be a woman that leads people into the new earth. I believe we need more unconditional love,for the human race,for all,living and breathing creatures.thank you I thought this was a beautiful peace ,piece you wrote.
Thank you for your thoughtful and your unique perspective. I just wish corporations and governments would read and integrate this very relevant perspective in their choice of leaders. From my experience, many Older women in corporate structures of leadership are shoved out as soon as gray hair appears on their heads.
Thank you for providing a clear and constructive point of view for the value of an older female in leadership.
Hello, dear Vishen. This is one of the most beautiful articles published! Actually, I feel that we are in an age where Sathya and Prema (Truth and Love) are becoming predominant. It all goes with the awakening of the human species, slowly, steadily, perceiving thereby nature’s wisdom and its power. Female energy – not just woman-man – and ‘matriarchy’ (in its positive sense) seem to be gradually prevailing over the dark forces of the Iron age/ Kali yuga. The example of the elder elephant leading her tribe hits the point. It is quite true that a woman who cannot naturally procreate any longer, can do so many other things in her life and thrive. Menopause is a ‘pause’, not the end. There is no finality! I have always believed, even as a child, that we are in a world of so many possibilities and so much blissfulness, even if attained through pain. However, no barriers, no age-limits should stop people from performing, when and in ways they are able to do so. Being in touch with nature and observing her, ourselves, and our behaviours, brings us back to ourselves, to who we are. A great way to breathe in humanness again, to become nature again, who we really are – and develop. Vested with the human form, we can forsake past, limiting ideas, and open our mind and heart to our limitless possibilities.
Thank you for helping change the conversation!
This specific blog entry had a great effect on me – so much, that I shared it with the managers that report to me. It is a great example of the internal discussion we should all foster in our lives and, yes, in our businesses. Kudos for giving light to such an important subject. Muito obrigado!
Vishen,
I am very much motivated by this article that very emphatically tells about the strengths of women, who can cotribute constructively to the society in their after middle life years. I would like to add here the importance of ”Female Energy”which in our Hindu literature was emphasized when Tridev,Brahma,Vishnu and Mahesh,who were powerful in their own right, all bow down to The Goddess to help and Guide them.
I have also written what all the Younger generation can learn from the seniors ,especially women.May be one day i’ll get a chance to share with you.
Thanks for recoganising the power of elderly wpmen.
As a woman who is going thru menopause and dealing with all the struggles that comes with it and also being the leader of a 47 year old family business, this article brings me understanding, calm and purpose of the moment I am in. Guidance, wisdom, protection and survival resonate in my heart. Life continues, value increases, no ego, no superiority, service instead and community consciousness. Thank you Vishen, I honestly appreciated reading this. Also there is one important word not mention yet… RESPECT.
I absolutely love your stories, Vishen. Truly. And I love that you’re bringing attention to menopause — it’s such an important and often overlooked conversation. Right on!!!
I would genuinely love to see Mindvalley offer Donna Eden’s course, The Menopause Map. It’s so powerful. Menopause is one of those transitions that can either make you or break you — and this kind of work helps women move through it with clarity, strength, and purpose… exactly what’s needed to step into leadership you are mentioning in a whole new way.
Thank you again for your thought-provoking questions and your constant search for deeper understanding. It really makes a difference.
Ahhhh ! a breath of fresh air
Something I’ve been feeling for a very long time.
Thank you for putting it in such eloquent words, Vishen. Keep these coming.
Thank you Vishen, I feel seen, and my soul felt every word deeply. You are an extraordinary human, I am always struck by your emails and the lens in which you see life. You inspire me in so many ways, thank you again and again.
That is a really interesting article, Vishen! I really revelled in the insight and information you gave in regard to a perspective on the female of the species. It has resonated with me deeply. As a healthy woman of 71 years I feel better than I ever have and have been looking for ways to contribute to society. I now understand why I have been doing that, and feel clearer about the purpose of it all. Even though, I have quietly understood that on a deeper level, thanks Vishen for reaffirming the value of feminine qualities 🌹✨
Thank you Vishen for this… it truly landed.
Reading your words took me straight into a quiet reflection of my own journey. I have lived many “performer” seasons — building, striving, proving, achieving — and I can now see how much of that was shaped by the world’s version of leadership.
And yet, over time (and especially in the last years), something has been gently but powerfully shifting in me.
Less proving.
More listening.
Less control.
More trust.
I recognise myself in what you describe as the “matriarch energy” — not as a role, but as a way of being. A way that feels calmer, more grounded, and deeply connected to guiding rather than pushing.
What touched me most is this idea that these later years are not a decline… but a *responsibility*. A space where experience, empathy and memory become something to offer — not to hold onto, but to pass on.
That resonates deeply with my purpose: to bring empathy and show resilience so that others can mindfully achieve their goals.
Your story reminded me that perhaps what we are becoming is not less… but more aligned with what truly sustains.
Grateful for this perspective 🙏
What a beautiful and thought provoking piece. It really made me look at menopause differently. I always thought of it as a punishment waiting, but know I see the value. Thank you.
Dear Vishen,
I really enjoyed the article and all your other articles. I think you are a terrific writer. Women should be given more opportunity to lead on global levels like political positions and seat of power. This is because women possess the milk of human kindness more than men and they process emotions more effectively than men. I like when you wrote about changing the type of leadership to guiding protecting and stewardship. Thanks!!
Thank you so much Vishen for this blog post, it definitely resonates and I am sure will empower many of your female readers like myself.
To keep this conversation from feeling like a man vs woman argument though, it might be helpful to think of it as if the masculine energy has taken leadership over the past couple of centuries SO THAT the feminine could retreat and further cultivate her remembrance and embodied knowing during a time where perhaps (human) societal development needed that speed, strength, dominance etc.
We need to think of our binary nature as a taking of turns, working as a team. Thanking the masculine for having given us this time to really embody the full potential of the universal femininity in the human form, all the while, the masculine has continued to do its job. We wouldn’t have AI or any of the technological advancements that we now champion if it hadn’t been for the masculine leadership.
It’s not that we’ve been conditioned to choose against our own nature (e.g. men rather than women), it’s more that it was necessary considering where we were coming from, to USE the benefits of the masculine energy to get us where we are now. I think we can all agree that the masculine has run its course, and perhaps even overstayed its welcome, but not to only think of the feminine as having been repressed or excluded (though in many ways we were), but also as having been given the privilege to step back and allow the masculine to catch us up to the current moment, where we are now ready… oh, so ready, to reclaim our leadership, which may have felt dormant.
When the masculine took power, humans existed in a very different reality. It was difficult, all of humanity was much more vulnerable than we are today, which may be the reason why those specific parameters of performance leadership were seen as necessary by nature herself. And now, it is our rightful time for a shift, but not as a forceful takeover, rather a grateful passing of the torch.
I’m trying to see this as a positive effect of teamwork, where we can count on relieving each other of this role when the times ask for our diverse strengths.
Thank you,