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Relationships 4 Steps To Creating Your Own Self Love Routine

4 Steps To Creating Your Own Self Love Routine


The Beatles said it best. All you really need is love.

Although you may have lots of wonderful souls in your life you love with all your heart, odds are you’re missing one person out. You.

In this article, you’ll discover what self love actually is, why self love is important and how to create your own self love routine you can use tomorrow when you wake up.

What Is Self Love?

Self love is all about being at peace with yourself and who you really are. Self love can be summed up through the 3 A’s: Acceptance, Appreciation, and Adoration.

Self love also means knowing your worth and putting yourself first. It’s about always tending to your needs and showing yourself that you care about your mind, body, and spirit.

We are taught from being children that love has to be earned, and that there has to be a reason to celebrate ourselves. But unlike conditional-self-liking, self-love is free of conditions and judgment. If you truly love yourself, you do so because of who you are, not because of what you’ve done, achieved, or proven to the world.

To love yourself is to truly liberate yourself from expectations and the addiction to validation

Why Is Self Love Important?

Self love’s importance goes way beyond personal growth fads and Instagram selfies. It’s only when you truly love yourself that you can make healthy choices, have a high quality of life, and forge deep, meaningful relationships.

Ru Paul said it best. “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” 
Whatsmore, the relationship you have with yourself is the only one that’s guaranteed to last till the day you die. So it makes sense to tend to it.

After all, how do you expect to lead a happy life if you’re unhappy with yourself?

Your levels of self love won’t just benefit your life, either, but all the lives you touch. Through self love and care, you actively choose to put yourself first so you can show up in the world as the most balanced, healthy, loving, and authentic version of yourself. And that’s contagious.

It’s the only way you can properly help and support others, too. When you give to yourself, you have more of yourself to give to others. It’s like Mindvalley author, Lisa Nichols always says:

“Your job is to fill your own cup, so it overflows. Then you can serve others, joyfully, from your saucer.”

How To Practice Self Love: 7 Examples

Here are 7 examples of how you can practice self love and self care:

  • Treat yourself like you would treat a good friend
  • Forgive yourself 
  • Accept yourself just as you are
  • Speak kindly to yourself
  • Eat well and take care of your body
  • Allow yourself to feel all your emotions fully
  • Tend to your own needs before tending to others

…there are countless ways to take care of yourself. Read on to find out how to create your own self love routine. 

Create Your Self Love Routine: 4 Steps

Your self love and care routine will be totally unique to you depending on your daily schedule. No matter what it looks like, creating one will be one of the best decisions you ever make.

Grab a pen and paper and go through the following four steps to get started. For each step, pick at least 1 self love practice. By the end of the exercise, you should have at least 4 acts of self love to get practicing every single day. 

Step 1. Care For Your Body In The Morning

Your self love routine should begin as soon as you wake up in the morning. It will set you up for an awesome day.

Choose at least one of the following:

  • Do some yoga (you can access free yoga via YouTube if you’d like to be guided)
  • Prepare yourself a nourishing breakfast and take your time to mindfully eat it
  • Treat yourself to a luxury shower and moisturizing session with products that smell amazing
  • Go for a morning walk in nature
  • Explore some deep breath work to oxygenate your body well
  • Journal about your positive intentions for the upcoming day 

Step 2. Meditate On Self Acceptance & Forgiveness On Your Lunch Break

Whether you have an hour or a couple of minutes to spare on your lunch break, it’s the perfect time to practice self love.

One of the biggest obstacles we have between us and self love is self acceptance and forgiveness. A great way to slowly chip away at that obstacle is via meditation. 

Choose at least one of the following:

  • Sit down for a couple of minutes and repeat the mantra silently in your head ‘I love, accept and forgive myself’
  • Do the 6 Phase Meditation which includes a self-gratitude and forgiveness section
  • Take out a pocket mirror and practice looking at yourself with kindness as you breathe slowly and deeply (this one can be challenging, but the results are worth it)
  • Follow a specific guided meditation for self acceptance and forgiveness on the free Omvana meditation app

Step 3. Show Yourself You Love Yourself Throughout The Day

Sometimes it’s the little gestures you practice throughout the day that make the biggest difference to your self esteem.

Sure, grand acts of self love such as taking yourself on a retreat and going on a huge self-care-inspired spending spree are great, but it’s those small daily gestures that will permanently rewire your psyche for self love. 

Choose at least one of the following:

  • Keep hydrated and take plenty of mindful breaks with a cup of your favorite tea
  • Smile at yourself every time you pass a mirror
  • When people give you compliments, say ‘thank you’ and accept them fully
  • Set an alarm on your phone to go off every hour to remind you to think of one thing you like about yourself
  • Be selective about who you give your energy to, and always save some for yourself 
  • Listen to your self love playlist
  • Say ‘no’ when you need to, and set healthy boundaries
  • Take a few minutes in the afternoon for a 10-minute power nap or meditation

Step 4. Spend Some Time Reading And Studying Self Love Before Bed

Finally, just before you go to bed (after a nice hot bath or shower, perhaps?) we recommend cuddling up in bed for gentle reading, watching or studying time. That way, you can use your newfound knowledge the very next day when you wake up.

Self love and care is a journey, not a destination, so it always pays to top up your knowledge on the subject. 

Choose at least one of the following:

  • Read a book focussed on self love. You can find some inspiration here
  • Listen to a podcast all about self esteem, self love and self care. Here’s a link to the Mindvalley podcast to get you started. 
  • Watch self love content by self love guru Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani to give you all the tools you need to find unconditional love when you wake up. 

How’s Your Self Love Life?

Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, 2020

Forging a healthy, balanced, authentic self love life can be tough.

Growing up, you may not have been taught how to love yourself, honor your feelings and express yourself fully. Our Mindvalley co-founder, Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani went through the same thing. And it was only when she grew up and had a family of her own that she realized how far away from self love she really was.

And now, she wants to share her story with you.

You can watch Kristina’s exclusive self love Masterclass for free by clicking the link below.

Written by
Amy White