You see it everywhere. Social media, commercials, movies, magazines (if you still flip through those). The message is clear: aging is the downfall.
Tell someone you’re in your 40s, and watch their face drop like you’ve been diagnosed with something fatal. You can almost hear the sympathy in their voice: “Oh no, she’s got a case of the 40s.”
That’s how dramatic we, as a society, have become about getting older. Like it’s contagious, and the cure is pretending to stay 21 forever.
But Dr. Amanda Hanson, a clinical psychologist and the author of the #1 Amazon bestseller Muse: The Magnetism of Women Who Stop Abandoning Themselves, has a radically different take.
“There is only one legitimate reason you can’t live a beautiful life,” she’s been quoted to say. “And that’s because you don’t believe you can.”
Her work dismantles the idea that youth equals vitality. And her biggest takeaway is the second half of life is an awakening.
Who is Dr. Amanda Hanson, and what makes her message so powerful for women?
Ask those in the know, “Who is Dr. Amanda Hanson?” and you’ll quickly find out that she’s more than your typical psychologist. She has spent more than 25 years studying why women lose their fire as they age and has built a global movement to help them get it back.
Megan Pormer, the co-host of The Mindvalley Podcast, is one of those women. On stage with Dr. Hanson at Mindvalley U 2025, she tells the crowd, “I’m like, ‘Wow, this woman has, you know, some courage to say things that I’ve been wanting to say, but I didn’t have the courage.”
That’s the impact that the self-proclaimed “Midlife Muse” has on those in search of self-love in their more mature years. As a matter of fact, it’s something research shows is a growing need, with many struggling with identity loss and self-connection as their roles and bodies change.
For Dr. Hanson, even the language around empowerment misses the point. The word itself, she explains, still sounds like waiting for someone to hand you permission.
She once asked her husband if he had ever talked with his friends about feeling empowered. He said never. Men grow up knowing power belongs to them.
Women don’t get that same memo. Most of us were raised to believe power is something granted, something earned after being good, quiet, and agreeable enough.
“As women,” she says in her sit-down with Megan, “I think we just want power over our choices, over our bodies, over our opinions, over our feelings, over our agency.”
She, for instance, wants personal power in her wealth and finances and to move safely in this world. But the idea of empowerment keeps women waiting for someone to notice them first.
Sure, it sounds inspiring on the surface. Underneath, however, it’s still a plea for permission.
And that’s what she’s here to change.
Watch Dr. Amanda Hanson’s interview on The Mindvalley Podcast:
Why Dr. Amanda Hanson is turning the midlife crisis into a midlife awakening
Midlife.
The word alone can make you flinch. Maybe it even makes you tighten your jaw a little. Because somewhere along the way, it got paired with another word: crisis.
The concept came from psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques, who introduced it in his 1965 paper “Death and the Midlife Crisis.” He noticed that many people between 35 and 45 began facing their mortality for the first time. They questioned their choices, their purpose, and whether the best parts of life had already passed.
By the 1970s and 1980s, the idea of “midlife crisis” had gone mainstream. Pop culture turned it into a spectacle—the man with the sports car or the woman desperate to “reinvent” herself.
Later research, however, shows that this period isn’t inevitable. Rather, it reflects cultural pressure, shifting roles, and unfulfilled identity needs.
As women, I think we just want power over our choices, over our bodies, over our opinions, over our feelings, over our agency.
— Dr. Amanda Hanson, clinical psychologist and author of Muse: The Magnetism of Women Who Stop Abandoning Themselves
Dr. Hanson views this restlessness as something else entirely. It’s a signal to stop living life on autopilot and return to a deeper relationship with yourself.
“Most of my clients are wildly successful on the outside looking in,” she tells Megan. “They have everything, but they are terribly, painfully lost inside because they sourced outside of themselves for everything, never within themselves.”
And maybe that sounds familiar, where your outer success looks perfect while something inside you quietly aches. In fact, research shows that during this stage, as compared to any other phase of life, women often report…
- higher anxiety,
- eating-disorder symptoms, and
- emotional distress around food and body image.
Instead of honoring their intuition, women follow the noise of expectation. Dr. Hanson points out, “When you are that disconnected from yourself, you can’t actually create anything magical.”
And that is the problem.
How to stop abandoning yourself and step into your midlife muse
The question is, how do you come back to yourself after years of running on empty? Dr. Hanson calls this the work of remembering. And it begins with small, deliberate acts of self-honor.
Here are a few tips you can start with.
1. Reconnect to your sensuality
“The superhighway for power for women is their sensuality.”
Those are powerful words from Dr. Hanson. And she’s right.
What research shows is that women who maintain a strong connection to body awareness and sensual expression have…
- clearer self-identity,
- more confidence, and
- a stronger sense of agency in their lives.
But what society has been teaching is that our bodies are distractions, weaknesses, or threats. Even at a young age, girls learn to monitor their curves, shrink themselves, and silence their hunger for presence.
Chelsey Goodan, the author of Underestimated, speaks up about how girls are often socialized to quiet their voices and seek approval instead of trusting their own instincts. As she explains, society slowly conditions that liberated, fierce spirit out of them until self-expression feels unsafe.
Years later, that same conditioning shows up as hesitation, the pause before speaking, the urge to please, and the fear of being called “too much.”
“If we are so disconnected from our sensuality because it’s been shamed out of us,” Dr. Hanson points out, “I can assure you, you won’t be able to connect to your deepest roots of power.”
But the question is, how do you reclaim your sexual energy? She suggests to:
- Engage your five senses. When you feel distant from yourself, start by noticing what you can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. It’s a simple awareness that anchors you back into your body.
- Place one hand on your heart and one over your lower belly. Dr. Hanson calls this the “womb space,” where creative and intuitive energy lives. She teaches that the potential of the universe sits there, waiting to be felt again.
- Move your body in ways that feel sensual to you. It could be dancing, stretching, or even pole fitness. The point is to reconnect with your body as a source of power.
- Meet yourself in the mirror. Every morning, look into your own eyes for a few minutes before reaching for your phone. Presence with yourself is where intimacy begins.
Each of these is a way to awaken your inner sex goddess. After all, sensuality is about presence.
2. Practice authentic expression
The world doesn’t need another agreeable woman. It needs one who tells the truth.
That’s what being authentic is about. Not the “your hair is whack!” kind of truth, but the kind that comes from self-respect.
It’s what Brené Brown calls “choosing courage over comfort.” It’s what Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani explores in Becoming Flawesome. And it’s what one Dr. Amanda Hanson brings to life in her work on feminine power and self-expression.
She tells the story of her daughter saying through tears, “I think it’s so sad we’re losing the faces of aging women.” The younger Hanson said that she didn’t know “what a 30- or 40-year-old woman looks like anymore.”
That’s grief in its purest form. It reveals the loss of real women in a culture obsessed with youth.
It’s also the reason Dr. Hanson chose to age gracefully on her own terms. She doesn’t wear foundation, doesn’t spend money on creams, doesn’t color her hair, or doesn’t get her nails done.
“All of those things remove me further from my source,” she explains. “All of those things get me further away from the essence of who I am.”
And here’s how she says you can do the same:
- Notice where you perform. Dr. Hanson often says authenticity begins when you stop pretending to please everyone.
- Speak what you mean. Her advice to her daughter is that being honest every time she opens her mouth is the foundation of real confidence.
- Let your reflection be real. She models this herself by aging naturally and rejecting beauty standards that disconnect women from their essence.
That said, Dr. Hanson’s choices are hers alone. Authentic expression doesn’t have one look or formula. So discover what honesty looks like for you and live it fully.
3. Transmute triggers
Triggers—it’s likely you’ve felt it before. That spark of irritation when someone gets the thing you wanted, the pang of envy when they walk in glowing, or the sudden urge to pull away for no reason.
You feel them because something inside you still wants to be seen, heard, or chosen. It can be uncomfortable to admit that. So most of us shut them down or use them as proof that we’ve been wronged.
Dr. Hanson sees them differently. To her, a trigger is a signal, “an example showing you what you want more of in your life.”
In fact, research shows that emotional reactivity often points to unmet psychological needs, especially related to belonging, competence, and self-worth. When you feel envy, irritation, or judgment, that emotion holds up a mirror. It’s revealing the part of you that’s ready to grow.
So ask yourself, Dr. Hanson advises, “What does that person have that I so desire?”
Is it because she got the promotion you were quietly hoping for?
Is it because her relationship looks easier than yours?
Or is it because she wears the confidence you’ve been trying to fake?
When you can name what the emotional trigger is pointing to, it stops owning you. And that’s how reactivity becomes revelation.
Turn “I want” into “I can”
You may have spent years meeting everyone else’s needs. This is your moment to meet your own.
The Mindvalley free account gives you a place to start.
Take the free Life Mastery Score Quiz to find out where you’re thriving and where you’ve been holding back. Once you sign up, you’ll unlock…
- free lessons from bestselling quests,
- daily premium meditations, and
- invitations to community events with people who are on the same journey.
People like Cachet Allen, a children’s author and illustrator from Toronto, have already taken that first step. She joined Mindvalley looking for growth and found herself engaging every day with the programs and live calls. Or, as she describes it:
My experience with Mindvalley has been pure positivity and life-changing.
Stories like Cachet’s are proof of what happens when you choose yourself. With Mindvalley, you can explore every area Dr. Hanson speaks to: mind, body, relationships, career, and soul. You can begin building your own transformation from within.
No payment required. No barriers. Just a doorway into your next chapter of growth.
Welcome in.
