126 questions to ask your crush that’ll turn small talk into deep talk

If there’s one thing that kills the mood of any interaction, it’s the lull. And when it happens with someone you really fancy, it can be damn awwwkward.

You stare at them. They stare at you.

You’re both waiting for the other to pull this stalled dialogue out of the dead air. It’s like the romantic boat scene from The Little Mermaid…except you haven’t lost your voice (and there are no animals singing “sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh, my” in your ear).

Wouldn’t it be great if you had, oh, let’s say, a set of questions to ask your crush?

Fortunately for you, this carefully curated list of conversation starters is designed to spark genuine interest. And those awkward silences? You’ll steer clear of them. For as long as you both shall live.

21 deep questions to ask your crush

“What do you do for work?” or “How many siblings do you have?” are the kinds of questions we typically ask a person we’re starting to get to know. They’re light. They’re safe. And they’re boring.

To get to really know someone, you have to ask the questions that tap into the person’s core beliefs, experiences, and desires. In fact, research shows that “having a deep conversation” and “asking good questions” are some of the top behaviors that lead to a second date.

As conscious dating expert Neelam Verma puts it in her Mindvalley Quest, Finding Love with Integrity Dating: “Conscious conversations lead to conscious relationships.”

So if you need help going beyond the idle chit chat, here are 21 questions (like the game) you can ask your crush:

1. What does “love” mean to you?
2. How do you feel about the idea of there being one person meant for each of us?
3. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in life so far?
4. When it comes to relationships, what’s your biggest fear?
5. If you could go back and change one thing about your past, what would it be?
6. What kind of legacy do you hope to leave behind?
7. What does happiness look like to you?
8. How do you typically approach conflict or disagreement in a relationship?
9. Which trait do you value most in a friend or partner?
10. Right now, what’s your biggest personal goal?
11. How do you manage stress or handle tough situations?
12. What’s a mistake you made that you’re now grateful for?
13. If you could achieve just one dream this year, what would it be?
14. What’s the most meaningful compliment you’ve ever received?
15. How important is personal growth to maintaining a healthy relationship?
16. Looking back, what’s your biggest regret, and how has it shaped you?
17. How do you personally define success?
18. In your opinion, what makes a relationship last?
19. Who has had the most significant impact on your life?
20. What keeps you motivated during difficult times?
21. What’s something you wish people understood better about you?

21 romantic questions to ask your crush

To make a good first impression romantic-style, small talk isn’t going to cut it. You may want to consider asking questions that determine if you’re both truly aligned, much like Prince Eric’s speed round with Ariel.

“When you ask questions that show if your date is aligned to your values and relationship vision, you can save precious months and deepen your connection fast,” Neelam advises.

So check out the conversation starters for your crush that can have the potential to spark your own sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh, my’s.

1. Describe your idea of a perfect date.
2. Tell me about the most romantic gesture someone has ever made for you.
3. In what ways do you like to show affection?
4. How would you describe your love language?
5. What’s the one thing that instantly makes you feel loved?
6. Which love song is your favorite?
7. Do you believe in love at first sight?
8. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve done for someone?
9. How do you recognize when you’re truly in love?
10. Do you have a favorite romantic movie or book?
11. When it comes to a partner, what quality is most important to you?
12. What’s your biggest turn-on?
13. How would you envision your dream relationship?
14. How do you show someone you care without saying a word?
15. What’s the best relationship advice you’ve received?
16. Share your most cherished memory with someone you’ve loved.
17. What’s your ideal way to spend a romantic weekend?
18. How do you keep the spark alive in a relationship?
19. What gesture would you find the sweetest from someone?
20. Describe your dream date.
21. How do you know when someone is “the one”?

21 flirty questions to ask your crush

Ah, flirting. The art we all attempt at, but very few of us succeed in.

The thing is, batting your eyelashes, flexing your muscles, or even getting into a conversation on your crush’s favorite topics can give you that attractive appeal.

However, your tone—the thing that conveys emotion, intention, and context beyond the words themselves—can be way more effective at attracting the attention of your crush.

“Our words are 7% of our communication,” explains Linda Clemons, a body language expert and trainer of Mindvalley’s Body Language for Dating & Attraction Quest. “But our tonality is 38% of our communication.”

So take that tone and ask these questions:

1. How do you enjoy being flirted with the most?
2. What’s something you secretly hope someone would notice about you?
3. Which quality do you find most attractive in someone?
4. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever been given?
5. If we were to go on a date, where do you think we’d go?
6. What’s your go-to move when you’re interested in someone?
7. Describe your idea of a perfect first kiss.
8. When spending a night in with someone special, what’s your favorite way to do it?
9. What’s the most fun you’ve had on a date so far?
10. How would you describe your personal flirting style?
11. Imagine we were stuck on a deserted island—how would we pass the time?
12. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done in a relationship?
13. What’s your favorite way to be pampered?
14. In your opinion, what’s the sexiest thing someone could wear?
15. What’s your guilty pleasure when it comes to romance?
16. How would you go about making someone blush?
17. What’s the most adventurous date you’ve ever been on?
18. What’s your biggest turn-on?
19. Do you prefer slow and steady connections or fast and fiery ones?
20. What’s something about you that you consider irresistible?
21. How do you know when someone is genuinely interested in you?

21 juicy questions to ask your crush

Let’s get a little more daring with a lineup of intimate questions to ask your crush. They’re playful. They’re spicy. And they’re perfect for turning up the heat when the time is right.

Ladies, it’s time to awaken your inner sex goddess. Men, it’s time to channel that confident charm. 

Here are 21 questions to ask someone you like to get to know their wilder side:

1. What’s your biggest turn-on that you’d only admit in private?
2. Describe the wildest thing you’ve ever done on a date.
3. How daring have you been in the name of love?
4. Do you have a secret guilty pleasure?
5. Is there a fantasy you’ve never shared with anyone?
6. What’s the most seductive thing someone could do to you?
7. Have you ever sent a text that was a bit naughty?
8. How would you describe your idea of the perfect steamy night in?
9. Where’s the craziest place you’ve had a romantic moment?
10. Is there something you’ve wanted to try in a relationship but haven’t yet?
11. What’s the most tempting thing someone could whisper in your ear?
12. What’s the most spontaneous romantic gesture you’ve ever made?
13. How do you like to be kissed?
14. Is there a romantic secret you’re dying to reveal?
15. Can you recall your most memorable kiss?
16. What’s a naughty thought that’s crossed your mind recently?
17. Is there something wild you’ve always wanted to try?
18. How do you usually make someone feel special?
19. What’s something that instantly turns you on?
20. How do you like to show affection when the mood is right?
21. What’s your favorite way to spice things up in a relationship?

21 questions to ask your crush to see if they like you

It’s completely natural to wonder if your crush feels the same way. The fact of the matter is, very few of us were taught how to talk to a crush.

So it’s no surprise that many of us have the case of the jitters. As a Gen Z D.A.T.E. (Data, Advice, Trends, and Expertise) report by Hinge found, Gen Z singles are 47% more likely than millennials to feel nervous talking to people after the pandemic.

Rather than overanalyzing or pulling flower petals with “They like me, they like me not,” here’s a list of good questions to ask your crush to gauge their interest:

1. What’s the first thing that caught your eye about me?
2. Describe how you feel when we spend time together.
3. Is there one quality you find really attractive in someone?
4. Do you ever imagine what it would be like if we dated?
5. Out of all our moments together, which one stands out the most?
6. How do you usually know when you like someone?
7. Is there something you think we’d be amazing at doing together?
8. How would you describe your ideal partner?
9. If you could plan the perfect date for us, what would it involve?
10. In your opinion, what makes two people compatible?
11. How do you feel when you get a text from me?
12. Is there something you’ve always wanted us to do together?
13. How do you prefer to be flirted with?
14. What’s the biggest green flag that catches your attention in someone?
15. In your opinion, what makes a connection truly special?
16. If we spent an entire day together, what do you imagine we’d do?
17. How important is chemistry to you in a relationship?
18. What’s the most fun you’ve ever had on a date?
19. What do you enjoy most about our conversations?
20. When you’re interested in someone, how do you usually show it?
21. Do you believe in letting things happen naturally, or do you prefer to make the first move?

21 questions to ask your crush while texting

For some, the thought of talking to a crush can be downright nerve-wracking. The good thing is, today’s modern connections often start with texting.

Even if you’re not socially awkward, it’s a space where you can share flirty banter and get to know someone in a low-pressure environment. Plus, throwing in a few funny questions to ask your crush can keep the conversation breezy while sparking that playful chemistry.

Here are a few to get you started:

1. Tell me the best thing that happened to you today.
2. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you choose to be?
3. Do you have a go-to comfort food?
4. Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
5. How would you spend your perfect lazy day?
6. If you could have any superpower, which one would you pick?
7. What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day?
8. Is there something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?
9. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?
10. If we could only eat one type of food forever, which one would you choose?
11. Which movie or show could you watch over and over without getting bored?
12. If we were stuck on a deserted island, what’s the first thing you’d do?
13. What’s the silliest reason you’ve ever gotten in trouble?
14. What’s the weirdest thing that made you laugh recently?
15. Is there a skill you’ve always wanted to learn?
16. What was the most fun thing you did last weekend?
17. Say you’re famous for something totally ridiculous; what would it be?
18. What’s your favorite song to vibe out to?
19. Do you have a secret talent?
20. How do you usually cheer yourself up when you’re feeling down?
21. If we were characters in a TV show, which one would we be and why?

Love deeper, connect stronger

Unlike a certain mermaid we all know, you don’t have to lose your voice to get noticed by your crush. Asking the right questions can spark that magic.

Romantic ones can help you find out if you’re both dreaming of the same “happily ever after.” Flirty ones might just make sparks fly. Even the juicy ones can bring out a side that you never knew existed.

But if you’re having trouble getting past “What do you do for fun?” or find yourself in one too many awkward silences, Mindvalley’s The Connection Kit may be the thing you need.

It’s not only for those seeking sparks, but this free conversation starter deck has something for all kinds of relationships and connections:

• Friends
• Family
• Love connections
• Work buddies
• Kids and teens
• Someone new

As Neelam Verma points out, “meaningful questions are the ones that can help you know someone’s heart and soul.” And this deck serves as your perfect starting point.

Welcome in.