Crossing the threshold of 40 often brings a kaleidoscope of changes. And when it comes to sex, this stage of life ushers in uncertainties for many: the questioning of sexual vitality, the fear of diminishing pleasure, and the often-unspoken struggles with maintaining a fulfilling sex life.
However, that doesn’t have to be your reality.
“The truth behind sex in later years is that sex actually can continue to be just as good or even better as you get older if you approach it in the right way,” says Dr. Amy Killen, a leading anti-aging and regenerative physician.
Age-related sexual myths are just that—myths. And in an episode of The Mindvalley Show with Vishen, Dr. Killen shares her insights on the joy of sex you can have after 40, proving that the golden years can indeed be lustrously golden.
Watch the full 24-minute episode:
Dr. Amy Killen & her mission to debunk the myths of sexual health
Like all great origin stories, Dr. Killen’s stemmed from something personal. It was during a routine lice check with her husband that she realized the lack of intimacy in her life, a revelation that prompted a profound shift in her career and focus.
“In retrospect, my disastrous sex life makes total sense,” she recalls. Being in emergency medicine on top of being a mom of two, she was completely strung out, rarely sleeping, not exercising, chronically stressed, and “just generally making a lot of bad choices that affected not only my sexual health but also my general health.”
So what did she do? Take ownership of her health, of course.
Sexual health is not a luxury. Sex isn’t just feel good. It’s one of the main pillars of health that supports us in this quest for longevity. — @KillenMd Share on XTransitioning away from emergency medicine, Dr. Killen went down a path that would make her a renowned figure in integrative and regenerative medicine, specializing in sexual health and skin.
Her mission to debunk sex myths is rooted in her own experiences of rediscovering and reclaiming her health and vitality. Myths like men over 40 need Viagra for erections, women lack sexual enhancement options, erectile dysfunction is irreversible, and sex inevitably worsens with age.
Contrary to what we’ve been told, sex isn’t a luxury. Rather, according to Dr. Killen, it’s “one of the main pillars of health that supports us in our quest for wellness and longevity.”
How can you skyrocket your sex life? Dr. Amy Killen provides 6 solutions
The truth is, sexual activity can do wonders, even as you age. What’s more, there’s research that shows it improves emotional, mental, intellectual, and physical health.
So if you’re finding yourself being less active than you’d like, Dr. Killen presents six transformative solutions that can help rejuvenate and sustain your sexual vitality.
1. Be in the right mindset
When it comes to intimacy, your mental state can either enhance or hinder your sexual well-being. A positive and relaxed mindset can boost your sexual confidence, satisfaction, and connection with a partner.
Stress and anxiety, on the other hand, can have detrimental effects on sexual health. According to Dr. Killen, the inability to deal with the amount of stress we deal with on a daily basis “makes us unable to have sex properly.”
The biggest sex killer that I see out there is actually stress. — @KillenMd Share on XThese psychological factors, research has found, can lead to a list of problems: decreased libido, difficulty achieving arousal, and a reduced sense of sexual satisfaction.
So meditate, do breathwork, go out and exercise, or whatever it is you do to decompress. Your sex life depends on it.
2. Be healthy
This is something we all know to be true. And it’s especially so if you’re looking to combat sexual dysfunction.
“As we get older, and especially if we’re less healthy, we have more inflammation,” says Dr. Killen. So prioritizing your health ensures you not only have a better quality of life but also the ability to enjoy the benefits of sex.
What does the good doctor recommend? For starters, “cutting out sugar, getting your blood pressure down, working on your cholesterol, exercising.”
These are simple lifestyle adjustments you can make to improve blood circulation and decrease inflammation on a whole body level. And where it leads to is better sexual arousal and function.
3. Increase nitric oxide
A crucial but often overlooked aspect of sexual health is the role of nitric oxide. This molecule helps open up the blood vessels, allowing for increased blood flow throughout the body, including the genitals.
As you get older, though, you’re actually making less and less nitric oxide. So, Dr. Killen explains, “by the time you’re 40 years old, you’re making about half as much nitric oxide as your 20-year-old friends.”
You can naturally increase nitric oxide by eating foods like leafy greens, beets, pomegranate, and dark chocolate, to name a few. Doing so can help enhance vascular health and lead to better erections.
4. Optimize your hormones
As you may be aware, hormones affect your mood, energy levels, and sexual desire. And as you age, hormonal imbalances can occur, leading to changes in your sexual function.
So balancing these hormones is the solution to this problem. How? Here are some things you can do, according to Dr. Killen:
- Hormone supplementation
- Exercising
- Getting enough branched-chain amino acids
- Getting in your daily dose of Vitamin D
- Limiting your intake of sugar and processed food
- Getting enough quality sleep
Important note: Hormone balance is individual, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another. Therefore, it’s always advisable to consult with a healthcare provider to assess your hormone levels, identify imbalances, and determine the most appropriate steps for hormone optimization.
5. Use light, heat, and sound
Light, heat, and sound therapies sound like unconventional approaches, but they’ve shown promise for improving sexual health. They involve using specialized technologies to deliver light, heat, or sound waves to the sexual organs, with the idea that they can enhance blood flow to the area and stimulate tissue repair.
For example, red light therapy may use specific wavelengths of light to stimulate the production of nitric oxide, promoting better blood circulation to the genitals. Heat therapy can help relax and expand blood vessels, further improving blood flow. And shockwave therapy, which uses sound waves, may work by stimulating nerve pathways that are important for sexual arousal.
There are actually a number of therapies out there that you would do—most of them with a physician but that are very safe—that have kind of revolutionized sexual health. — @KillenMd Share on XWhile these therapies are still relatively new in sexual medicine, they do offer you alternative ways to enhance your sexual pleasure and function.
6. Use regenerative medicine
Chances are, you’ve heard of stem cell therapy. Possibly, you’ve also heard of platelet-rich plasma (PRP) therapy. Maybe even proteomics and metabolomics.
These are all types of regenerative medicine available out there, focusing on using the body’s natural healing processes to repair and rejuvenate tissues. What they do is tell “your cells that are already there to become more active,” explains Dr. Killen. That includes helping with blood flow, hormone regulation, and increased sensitivity for sexual energy, desire, and satisfaction.
Important note: Regenerative medicine is a rapidly evolving field, and ongoing research is exploring its full potential in sexual health. If you’re interested in any of these treatments, consult with healthcare experts who specialize in regenerative medicine first.
Unlock your pleasure
Your fourth decade (or more, if you’re past it) is no time to slow down. It’s your prime. Even sexually.
Because when you have sex (alone or with another), you’re choosing “to dose yourself with an orchestra of healthy, feel-good chemicals that could have immediate and lasting effects.”
So if you want to learn more, consider joining Dr. Amy Killen’s The Science of Great Sex Quest on Mindvalley. When you sign up for a free account, you have access to the first few lessons, so you can get a dose of the ins and outs of how great sex equals a great life.
Welcome in (pun intended).
