All of us are seeking unconditional love and attention from others.
Both, in the way, we present ourselves in real life and on social media. But still, this is only one symptom of our lack of approval, our lack of perceived abundance.
The harder we try to be loved the more we lose our connection with ourselves.
Yet, we can’t help it.
Whenever you meet someone new, your first intention is to ask yourself “Does this person like me”?
No wonder that millions of Google search results are related to the likability of people.
Likability is the greatest predictor of popularity and social acceptance in a group for adults, more important than wealth, status, or physical attractiveness.— John Kinnell
It’s time to stop pointing fingers at others and start by looking at yourself.
Before anyone else will ever give you your desired acknowledgment, you have to start by opening your heart and the door to unconditional love yourself.
Love Starts With Acceptance
“Love yourself” became 2019’s buzzword and is spread all over social media. But who of you knows what unconditional love for yourself actually means?
For example, how easy would it be to point out all the body parts of yourself that you are unsatisfied with?
However, it would require a lot of courage to verbalize which parts you love.
Most likely you would start the sentence with “Other people tell me I have…that’s why I like…”.
Stop this bullsh*t and do the real work.
Nobody wants to be surrounded by 100 parrots repeating other people’s opinions like a record stuck in a continuous loop.
I used to think this is the sacrifice you have to make if you want to be liked. Then I realized being the popular girl has nothing to do with being happy.
From Prom Queen To Life Queen
I used to be the stereotype of the perfect suburb girl.
At school, I fell under the category of popular kids.
I was a model student with outstanding grades and without even asking me, teachers just expected me to graduate with straight A´s and move on to med school.
Yet, I had different plans for my life.
All I wanted was to become a professional dancer.
And I did.
Unfortunately, my childhood dream of pink tutus and pointe shoes turned into a journey of sweat and tears, trying to be acknowledged by teachers, judges, and choreographers.
My biggest passion in life turned its weapon against me and instead of filling the spotlight, I started hiding in the corner, hating basically every part of myself.
I’m definitely not the only one who has experienced those feelings in the dance world, as Ex Ballroom Champion Kadi Oja shares in her video Are You Chasing The Right Dreams?! in the Mindvalley community.
I might have still gotten high school’s yearbook title Miss Universe but I was broken on the inside.
That’s when I knew, it was time to start a new chapter and go on a happiness journey.
Where Does Real Happiness Come From?
Long story short.
The old me thought the feeling of emptiness could be replaced through excessive abuse of drinking, and chasing adrenaline highs by cliff jumping or traveling to the most dangerous corners of the world.
I followed Snoop Dog’s philosophy and became the embodiment of Young, Wild, and Free.
Looking back, let me give you one bit of advice:
When you go out at night and the people around you start reaffirming how much they love you the later it gets, their love after the 6th round of Mojitos has nothing to do with the unconditional love you are actually seeking.
So let’s skip this part of the journey and get into more valuable insights.
After begging for love in previous relationships, I finally realized, the more I am giving up on myself to please others, the more I am getting pushed around and hurt.
As much as it sounds like the stereotypical Eat, Pray, Love Story, I plead guilty for the way I finally found love without requirements.
The only love that sticks with you no matter what, is unconditional love.
I took off to Bali, finally detached from all the struggle at home, and after one month of yoga, meditation and self-healing, I found myself sitting in a cafe, writing a letter to the person who has become the most valuable person in my life.
I shared how much happiness I am able to create by putting myself first.
Every smile started as a smile to myself caused by gratefulness for all the positive things that were happening in my life.
I was able to turn even an unpleasant experience – like a scooter accident – into positive life lessons. Suddenly there were no more failures but only growth and self-development.
Always remember the cup is never half empty, it is always half full.
Your Unconditional Love Is The Most Precious Gift You’ll Ever Receive
No one else can fill in the love you are already carrying within you.
Just think about happy baby eyes looking at you.
The unconditional love those little human beings are sending into this world is the love each one of us is born with.
The only way to access this corner of your heart is by trusting yourself, knowing that if you allow yourself to feel this love, the emptiness will be gone.
Unconditional love is the most precious gift the divine has given to you.
No wonder that throughout a lifetime you started looking for ways to protect this gift and the emotional wall around your heart kept getting higher and higher.
Now each brick needs a builder to be taken down. These bricks vary in weight, form, and appearance and it is on you to become the builder who takes them down.
And remember, walls can’t fall within a day.
The Easiest Way To Get Access To Your Heart
How great would it feel to wake up with a smile on your face, feeling safe and loved?
The most simple way to achieve this is to remind yourself of the abundance that you’ve already called into your life.
Have you ever experienced more positive things happening to you when you are on vacation?
Do you ever daydream and suddenly your real day turns into a surprising adventure?
The reason why is because you use the power of visualization.
You trick your mind and put yourself either into a different role or a future event.
After imagining what is going to happen you are much more likely to act according to your daydream. You are taking the right actions in order to step into a certain role.
Great! But what if you could step into the role of your happy self every single day?
Follow this 5 step plan and give it a try.
5 Steps To Open Your Heart
1. Physical Presence
First of all, feel your physical body. Take a little moment to acknowledge that you are alive.
You can do this in the form of a body scan.
Close your eyes and take a couple of breaths into each part of your body, moving from your tippy toes to the top of your head.
2. Gratitude Journal
Take your journal and write down three things that happened to you the day before that you are grateful for. Then write down three things you initiated yourself and you are grateful for.
This will remind you of the positive energy you are surrounded by and of the positive energy you are creating yourself.
Finish your writing by closing your eyes, visualize these moments and enjoy the smile on your face.
3. Share Your Positive Experience
Choose three people you want to send a smile and an extra dose of love to.
You don’t have to know them in person. They can be strangers you crossed on the street or the lovely cafe owner whose coffee is a lifesaver.
Start to visualize them and take a little moment to see them in front of your inner eye. Look into their eyes, acknowledge their smile, and just observe.
Take three deep breaths to clear your energy.
Focus on the area around your sternum, the place of your Anahata, heart chakra. Open your heart and verbalize in your mind “I send love to…”.
4. Free Smiles
I know eye contact has become a scary thing in our modern world and now every time someone steps into the bus you try to stare out of the window or on the screen of your phone to make sure in no case this person will come and sit next to you.
But why? Did social anxiety already get to you?
Don’t worry, humans don’t bite and diseases are not contagious by sitting next to someone. You don’t even have to talk to them if you don’t want to. Yet, isn’t it a nice feeling to be welcomed wherever you go?
Just try to share a piece of your love through a little smile whenever your eyes are crossing another pair of eyes.
You won´t only give more love, but you will also receive more love.
5. The Final Step
Every happy day has to come to an end, and for most of us, this will happen while brushing our teeth.
Don’t waste this time. Use this moment to observe yourself in the mirror.
First, you might start laughing because seeing the white foam dwelling out of your mouth can be quite a funny image of yourself.
Reminding yourself not to take life too seriously.
And before spitting out your toothpaste do me a favor and say one time the magical words – “I love myself”.
The more you practice, the easier it will get to create a positive loving self-image.
This roadmap won’t require more than 5 minutes of your day. Yet, you will warm up your heart every single day.
At first, you will start to experience more love and serenity towards others and eventually, this journey will lead you into unconditional love for yourself.
The Abundance Of Unconditional Love
So, how does unconditional love create abundance in your life?
An abundant life is a life where love is a gift and not a reward, knowing that you are able to trust yourself and others.
Following, your love combined with the element of trust allows you to express yourself in the purest form of being. You can start looking for the resources you already have and the ones you want to call into your life to finally make all your dreams come true.
The more you love, the more you will be loved. You will realize that most things you need to be happy about are already in your life and you will discover that sharing your love is the best currency to get other people’s to support to fill your cup with every missing ingredient.