Ten years ago, in May of 2015, I posted a short video on Facebook.
It looked like an innocent little clip—me standing outside Steve Jobs’ house, talking to my son:
“Hey Hayden, check it out. This is where Steve Jobs lived…”
But here’s the truth.
That video wasn’t really for Hayden. It was for you.
I desperately wanted to speak to the world—to share ideas, reflections, and meaning—but I was terrified of being judged.
So I hid behind the line: “Hey Hayden, check this out.”
It was my psychological armor.
By pretending I was just talking to my kid, I could trick myself into speaking without the fear of criticism. I could tell myself, “No one’s judging me. I’m just being a dad sharing something cool.”
But the truth is—I was being a coward.
The moment of fear
If you watch that old video, something interesting happens.
Within the first ten seconds, I look awkward. My body tenses up.
A friend was holding the camera, and I couldn’t take it.
I snatched the camera from him and turned it toward Steve Jobs’ house—so the focus was no longer on me.
I couldn’t even bear to be seen.
Watch the 58-second video here on Facebook and note how awkward I look.
It wasn’t stage fright. It was social fright—the fear of being judged, of being misunderstood, of being laughed at.
And it’s funny, because I had spoken on stage before.
But the camera, that silent lens staring back at you—it felt like the whole world watching, waiting to comment.
That terrified me.
The hidden truth about speaking
People think speaking is about mastering body language, pacing, and storytelling.
But the real battle isn’t technical—it’s emotional.
It’s the quiet, invisible panic that asks:
“Who am I to say this?”
“What if they think I sound stupid?”
“What if no one cares?”
That’s what stops most people from ever hitting record.
And here’s the irony: we live in a world that rewards voices, not perfection.
The world doesn’t need more polished speakers. It needs more honest ones.
The shift
Over the years, I learned something liberating: the only way to kill social fright is to stop performing and start expressing.
When you speak from your truth—when your words come from your own lived experience—people can’t really criticize you.
They can disagree, but they can’t deny your authenticity.
That’s why I now introduce you to the Mindvalley Speaking Academy by Eric Edmeades—this is about how to build authority not through confidence, but through realness.
Because authority isn’t about being louder. It’s about being more you.
When I look back at that video today, I smile.
It’s awkward. It’s unpolished. But it’s also sacred.
Because that was the moment I stopped hiding behind “Hey Hayden…”
and started saying, “Hey world—this is me.”
People think great speakers are born confident. They’re not.
They’re just people who’ve learned to stop performing and start expressing.
When you speak from your truth, your lived experience, your real story—you become bulletproof.
People can disagree, but they can’t discredit authenticity.
That’s what I’ve learned over the years: The power of your voice isn’t about being louder.
It’s about being realer.
An invitation to find your voice
If this resonates with you—if you’ve ever felt that same hesitation before hitting record, or worried what people might think—I want to invite you to something special.
This Thursday, I’ll be live with Eric Edmeades, the man who trained many of Mindvalley’s top speakers (and yes, he’s coached me too).
Eric is the lead trainer for Mindvalley Speaking Academy, a five-day, small-group immersion happening soon in Miami—limited to just 50 participants.
Tickets are $10,000 as it’s highly personal, and it’s one of the most transformative programs we’ve ever created.
But this week’s free masterclass is your chance to get a glimpse of that training—and real, actionable tools to start unlocking your voice immediately.
For the first 45 minutes, Eric will teach some of his most powerful frameworks for confident, persuasive speaking.
Then, for the final segment, we’ll discuss what happens inside the Speaking Academy—and how it can help you demolish fear, sharpen your story, and own any stage.
The last 45 minutes are for those of you who want to join me and Eric in Miami. (I won’t be teaching it; Eric will be. But my son is enrolled in it, so I’ll be stopping by to mingle and hang with the attending students.)
Why this matters
I’ve sent Mindvalley’s top authors, executives, and even close friends to train with Eric.
Every single one of them came back transformed—not just as speakers, but as leaders.
If you’ve ever dreamed of being on stage, of speaking your truth without fear, of turning your message into something that moves people—this masterclass is for you.
Join us live this Thu, Oct 23.
(Only 29 spots left for the in-person Speaking Academy in Miami—this session will show you exactly what it’s about.)
Because the world doesn’t need more perfect speakers.
It needs you—unfiltered, unafraid, and unapologetically seen.
See you Thursday,
— Vishen
P.S. I’d love to hear from you—what’s one message you’d love to one day share with the world? Head over to the blog version of this newsletter and leave a comment. I read every single one.
32 Responses
Dear Vishen,
I hail from the same part of the world as you Kuala Lumpur and came to London in 1961. I have followed your career with interest and many congratulations on all your successes.
I have had a full life, private and corporate and also being the wife of the Chairman of Lloyd’s ( insurance ) in the 1980-ies has led to making so many good friends globally.
Now at 82 I am spearheading a project ( my swansong !) in support of the Young Veterans who have seen action in war zones but are not psychiatric cases, in their rehabilitation into normal life and society.
It is challenging but have tremendous financial and moral support for the pilot scheme. I will do my best to set it up and then leave it to a younger person to take the project forward.
Wishing you even greater success in your endeavours.
Leni ( Miller )
email : lady.miller@btinternet.com
I don’t read newsletters. I also don’t believe in signs. Every now and then I open one from Vishen and it reads exactly like the film in my head. This blog post is an example of realness. It’s so real that it feels like someone wrote from my direct experience. Vishen, when you share these stories of vulnerability, it validates many of us. When you offer tools to overcome our limitations, you give us a chance to liberate ourselves from our mental cages. Thank you.
💕💕💕
I can identify with Vishen. I had struggled with anxiety even from a teenager. But over the years and doing several training programs, I became a bold and confident speaker. However, when it comes to doing a personal video I start to feel tense. So as he said it something emotional or deep-seated. Keep pressing forward Vishen.
Dear Vishen, I could not think of another way to get my IT problem with the Mindvalley app addressed after making contact with your IT team a few days ago. My problem is the streak was reset to zero for no reason. Emily in IT thought it may be a time zone issue but was unable to reset it. I know I have not missed a day since to warrant a reset. Are you able to assist as it is frustrating seeing all my efforts, badges go to nought? I didn’t realise how this metric helped me stay motivated until it disappeared.
Everywhere I turn I hear people who are tired or frustrated and going through something mentally or physically. We know what state the world is in but many people feel powerless to do anything about it. My mission is to be a light for others to see through the darkness and find a way back to themselves but I struggle with allowing others to see my authentic self. I’m looking forward to walking away with something I can use to accomplish that from this masterclass!
Even if sometimes the topic is not interesting for me, I always enjoy reading your emails with your experiences. It feels like you are very close to us, Mindvalley subscribers. Thank you!
I love the humility of sharing this video where you were feeling vulnerable near the beginning of your journey, it is so powerful and helpful for those of us also near the beginning. Thank you x
How about letting us know what time on Thursday this is happening? I didn’t see any times on either of the mails.
Thank you.
JoAnne Metzler
The power of courage – every single one of us has the agency. I’m starting a movement here in the US to help us activate it in these trying times. Vishen, I will reach out to you because I’d love to have you help amplify it at this critical moment. Watch this space!
I call this embodied work. In my own video creation, I am learning exactly this. Speaking from my whole lived body expression is best experience for me and audience.