Arielle Ford woke up one year into her whirlwind marriage and realized something: relationships are hard, but…
… we can learn to love our imperfect relationships, not despite the annoyances, but also because of them.
How To Love Your Imperfect Partner Perfectly
Sick of your partner not picking up his socks? Of always having to fix her car? Or listening to his lame jokes?
In this downright amazing Mindvalley’s A-Fest talk, best-selling author of Soulmate Secret, Arielle Ford shares the ancient Japanese aesthetic “Wabi Sabi” and how you can apply it to your relationship to turn what drives you nuts into a reminder of love. It honors all things old, and cracked, and imperfect.
Arielle Ford has been working in the personal growth and spirituality movement for over 30 years, and she’s learned from her experiences with thousands of clients and the success of her own marriage. She helped launch the careers and books of many of the amazing self-help New York Times Bestsellers you knop, such as Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, Louise Hay, Jack Canfield, and more. In fact, she even worked with our very own Neale Donald Walsch.
And in this video, she shares some of the most useful for when you feel tired of your partner’s quirks. It all stems from the key Japanese philosophy that honors loving the cracks in yourself and loving the cracks in your mate. It’s not just about finding the partner you love; it’s about staying in love and being that love. You are closer to satisfaction and happiness in your relationship than you think.
There’s also scientific research that shows that this philosophy works. According to a study, couples who wear rose-colored glasses have more satisfying relationships… Oftentimes because instead of looking for what the partner does wrong but for what the partner does right. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: both partners learn how to rise up to meet higher expectations.
Ultimately it comes down to one of the most important rules we can ever learn from: Only you can make you happy. Striving for imperfection is impossible. As Arielle says, “Perfection is Pure Fiction.”
You can start by trying out a few of the strategies that we’ve listed below:
1. Try to find a positive perspective on whatever negative characteristic you’re seeing.
2. Write a list of what you’re grateful for on a daily basis.
3. Think about whether you’re happier with this problem than without your partner, and why that is.
4. Turn a grievance about them into an action you can take to make yourself happy.
5. Give each other codes to know when to “de-arm.”
That’s not to say that these techniques are foolproof or even should always work. But for any relationship that’s just a little strained and well-worn from years gone by, these techniques might be ultimately what you need to find love, keep love, and be love.
Learn how to treasure the cracks, the flaws, the imperfections in the people that you love by watching the video above.
What are your tips to love your partner, flaws and all?
Share it with the tribe in the comments below!