Kindred spirits: A guide to attracting soul-deep connections

Ever have one of those moments where you feel an uncanny connection with someone you’ve just met? In this digital age where screens often replace faces, meeting a kindred spirit is like encountering a unicorn. 

The good news is that, unlike the latter, kindred spirits aren’t a supernatural narrative. It’s the art of profound human connection.

Navigating life with one by your side is like having a co-pilot who truly gets you, making the journey not just bearable but wonderfully enjoyable. 

What is a kindred spirit?

Think of a kindred spirit as a friend who, from the moment you met, you just clicked with. And from that moment on, they have been your true friends. 

Tim Storey, the celebrated author and trainer of Mindvalley’s Magical Living Quest, calls them “magical friends.” These are people who protect your dreams and celebrate and encourage you even when you don’t. Most importantly, they challenge you to move forward.

So the “kindred soul” definition is someone who genuinely resonates with the essence of who you are. They feel like home, no matter how recently you’ve met.

According to Vanessa Van Edwards, an internationally renowned behavioral investigator and trainer of Mindvalley’s Magnetic Charisma Quest, your unique qualities deeply appeal to your kindred spirits. They may be introverts like you or extroverts who complement your traits.

What’s more, according to this extensive study, they keep you happy throughout your life more than money or fame.

Kindred spirit vs. twin flame

The two are somewhat opposite. 

Your kindred spirit is like your favorite cozy sweater—comfortable at all times and ready to warm you up. But just like clothes we outgrow, they may come and go throughout life, but they always leave an indelible mark.

Twin flames, on the contrary, are utterly uncomfortable because they reveal your rawest vulnerabilities, push your boundaries, and antagonize your wounds. While kindred spirits resonate with your personality, your twin flame reflects parts of you that you often don’t want to see.

To put it simply, here’s a handy comparison table:

Both are meaningful and powerful connections, but they offer very different experiences.

Learn more: Twin flame vs. soulmate: 7 differences you may not know

Kindred spirit vs. soulmate

There’s another term that’s often thrown into the mix: soulmates. Unlike kindred spirits, they align with your soul’s purpose. They match your frequency and walk alongside you on your life’s path to help you fulfill your purpose. 

It’s like Robin to Batman and Watson to Sherlock. They may be friends, family members, or romantic partners, supporting you to learn, grow, and evolve. 

So, let’s break it down in a comparison table:

While kindred spirits get us, soulmates guide us. It’s like the difference between a best friend and a wise mentor—each brings something special to the table.

7 signs you’ve met your kindred spirit

Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, one of Harvard’s most in-demand lecturers and trainer of Mindvalley’s The 5 Elements of Happiness Quest, explains that fifty years ago, people wouldn’t have defined relationships as real. “Most relationships were real,” he adds. 

So, what does it mean to have a kindred spirit? Apart from having an instant connection with your kindred spirits, it also means that your relationships are real. And here are seven signs that you have a special connection:

1. Deep understanding. Kindred spirits often understand you better than you understand yourself.
2. Presence. They are present with you, and whatever it is, you share it with them.
3. Shared values. You both look at the world through a similar lens, like two peas in a philosophical pod.
4. Effortless communication. They also speak the same language as you, so you don’t need to explain yourself. 
5. Mutual respect. Kindred spirits respect and fully accept each other. They don’t try to change you or fix you.
6. Emotional support. They provide emotional support in times of joy and sorrow.
7. Time and distance don’t matter. Even after long periods of silence, you pick up right where you left off, like with your favorite binge-worthy series.

These bonds, once recognized and nurtured, can become one of the most enriching and life-affirming aspects of your life.

How to find kindred spirits, according to Mindvalley experts

Attracting kindred spirits in your life—be it in love, friendships, or the workplace—isn’t an enchantment or a secret potion you can drink. It’s a process that requires introspection, authenticity, and the courage to step out into the world as your true self. 

Here are seven ways you can start this journey:

1. Open yourself up

First things first—you’ve got to be open to meeting new people. 

Keith Ferrazzi, the world’s leading networking expert and trainer of Mindvalley’s Mastering Authentic Networking Quest,  explains that stepping out of your comfort zone and being more receptive to the people around you is essential to creating authentic networking. 

Attend social events, join clubs, volunteer—put yourself out there. You never know who you might meet at that pottery class or book club.

2. Cultivate emotional intelligence 

Neelam Verma, dating expert and trainer of Mindvalley’s Finding Love with Integrity Dating Quest explains that fostering emotional intelligence can help you connect more deeply with others. 

It’s about empathy, emotional self-awareness, and effective communication that make you fluent in the language of the soul.

Learn more: How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence: 5 Tips From Mindvalley Trainers

3. Follow your passion

Vanessa, in her Magnetic Charisma Quest, explains that authenticity and aligning with your genuine interests at work and in life are paramount for attracting and cultivating genuine connections. When you engage in activities you are truly passionate about, you are more likely to attract like-minded people. 

So, join that salsa class, start that gardening project, or take that creative writing course, and you will be surprised at how much easier it is to connect with people who, most importantly, share similar passions and values with you.

4. Use FORD model

Small talk has never hurt anyone, nor has it helped to connect on a deeper level. When you are seeking to build a sense of deeper intimacy with someone, apply the FORD model:

This is your way to navigate the small talk:

• Family. Be willing to ask about the person’s family, and prepare some topics you are willing to open up about your own family dynamics. Remember that your openness and vulnerability come first.
• Occupation. To go beyond the shallow work conversation, you can ask more intimate questions, such as “How is work going for you?” or “Where do you see yourself going next?”
• Recreation. Passion is at the heart of deep talk, so asking about the person’s passions and hobbies will help you connect with them on a deeper level.
• Be curious about their dreams. Dreams and aspirations are intimate topics. So being genuinely curious is a must.

5. Become a heart-centered person

Neelam believes that the journey from your head to your heart is one of the most important journeys in your life. 

“Instead of overanalyzing and overthinking, drop from your head to your heart,’‘ she says. “When you aspire to connect with someone, you want to tap into your intuition and emotions.”

Indeed, science has shown that the heart has its own intelligence. Your heart space is the space of your natural authenticity, which allows you to relate to people authentically. 

Most importantly, when you become heart-centered, you will attract heart-centered people into your life.

6. Choose your friends on purpose

Tim explains that magical friends aren’t easy to find. But you’d rather choose them for a season than make the wrong friends for a lifetime. 

He recommends a three-step process to make magical friendships:

1. Choose your friends on purpose,
2. Surround yourself with people who lift you higher and give you a boost, and
3. Surround yourself with friends you admire and respect.

 7. Disconnect from technology

According to Dr. Ben-Shahar in his The 5 Elements of Happiness Quest, our connection to the people we love the most is severely affected by our reluctance to disconnect from technology or other distractions.

“It’s common for friends to pay more attention to their screens than to the living beings sitting next to them,” he adds. 

Screen addiction is the most common form of addiction that is detrimental to both the quality and quantity of relationships. And it is only going to get worse as technology improves.

The key is moderation. So creating clear boundaries with technology is essential. By having technology-free time when you are with people you love, you will improve your relationships, and become more productive, creative, and happier.

Like attracts like. So be open, authentic, and heart-centered, and in time, your kindred spirits will find their way into your life. 

Diving deeper into your self-evolution

The path to attracting these magical connections is like growing a garden. You need to nurture the soil before you can expect anything to bloom. Cultivating emotional intelligence and empathy and embracing authenticity—these are your watering cans, your sunlight, and your nutrient-rich soil.

If you want to jump-start this enriching journey of self-evolution, Mindvalley is the right place to be. Here, you will learn how to:

• Reclaim the magic inside and around you and attract magical friends with Tim Storey’s Magical Living Quest,
• Improve your human connection skills with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s The 5 Elements of Happiness Quest,
• Master tools that allow you to connect with anyone from a space of empathy, safety, trust, and surrender with Neelam Verma’s Finding Love with Integrity Dating Quest,
• Attract and create relationships with new, inspiring people with Keith Ferrazzi’s Mastering Authentic Networking Quest, and
• Unlock your charisma with Vanessa van Edwards’s Magnetic Charisma Quest.

Welcome in.