Most people in the world never fulfill their dream and never become their best selves because their fears hold them back. But you can break out of the prison of your own negative thoughts so that you can achieve your dreams and stop postponing your happiness.
In this guide for building extreme resilience, America’s leading MBA professor, Dr. Srikumar Rao, shares 7 lessons on bouncing back and improving every aspect of your life.
Here’s how to become unshakable according to his expert advice.
1. There’s No Destination, Only The Journey
Have you ever said something like, “If I had a higher salary, then I would be happy” or “I’ll be satisfied when I get this promotion”?
Many people don’t find out in time that “when” never comes.
Stress appears in our life when we let our expectations or goals get in the way of the Now.
But happiness isn’t delivered in a job, or achievement, or age, or material possession. It’s not delivered by a stranger or a friend or a magic lottery ticket.
Happiness can only come from within.
And once you know this, no one can take away your power.
2. Change Your Mind, Change Your Behavior
Most of the changes we try to make and habits we try to form don’t stick because we try to force them into our life.
Effort and will does NOT create lasting behavioral change. It creates dissonance, pain, and unpleasant side effects from going “cold turkey.”
But when you examine your deeply-rooted beliefs of who you are and how the world functions (or is supposed to function), then you literally become a different person.
Better habits naturally come about as you better your mind.
3. Gratitude Is The Best Cure
Are you feeling bored at your job? Do you feel like you haven’t been able to make the progress you’ve desired? Are you disappointed with life?
The best cure isn’t to wish a different life for yourself but to learn to be grateful for whatever you already have.
Inevitably, there is something to be grateful for.
And when we consciously choose to appreciate what we have in life, it makes it more difficult to stay in states that won’t serve you, like frustration or disappointment. Gratitude is the cure for unhappiness.
4. Being An Inspiring Leader Is A By-Product
Saying “I want to be an inspiring leader” might not sound self-serving at face value, but that means that you’re coming from a me-centered (“I want”) perspective.
Being an inspiring leader isn’t a goal; it’s a by-product of learning how to direct your mind and therefore your behaviors in a way that inspires others.
First, find what inspires you, lead by example, remember what you’re grateful for, and empower others. Only after you’ve worked on yourself will you be able to lead others.
5. Accept The Darkness To Move Into The Light
Can you go through life not labeling things as good or bad?
It might come as a challenge at first, but it’s one of the first steps to empowering yourself to have a happy, fulfilling, and successful life.
Events happen, and we can’t control those outside forces BUT we have the power to choose our reaction. Our happiness, our success, our lives are much more dependent on the attitudes we bring to life.
6. When The Flower Blossoms, The Bee Will Come
Sometimes unpleasant situations persist for long periods of time. These situations can corrode our good attitudes — ultimately corroding our good judgment and our ability to attract the very things we need to resolve the situation.
For example, most of us will work for a toxic boss at some point in our careers.
And if you’re not planning on jumping ship in the near future, then you need to figure out a way to cope so that you can maintain a relationship with your boss.
Here’s an exercise you can practice the next time you want to de-escalate a conflict:
Speak to them only after you’ve thought up every positive thing about them that you can.
You might be surprised at the amazing gifts that awareness and compassion can bring into your life.
7. Happiness Is Closer To Us Than Our Own Skin
Eternal happiness is always inside of us. And there is nothing you have to do, nothing you have to buy, and no one you have to be.
Your mind only needs to stop distracting yourself from the joy you always carry, and your behavior needs to stop driving it away.
Find the purpose in whatever you’re doing, and your joy will follow.
You’ll start coming radiantly alive, you’ll start feeling deeply grateful and you’ll start realizing the full beauty of the experience.
And that’s really the point of life.