Do you ever wish you had a confidence button? Just imagine: a big, red button you could hit that would deliver an instant hit of confidence and self-assurance. If you needed more, it would be as simple as hitting the button. Bam!
If only feeling more confident could be that easy.
Why do we learn to doubt ourselves? Where does a lack of confidence come from? And most important of all: how can we learn to be more confident?
We’ll break down where confidence comes from, why we lose our confidence, and how we can find more confidence for rapid transformation and empowerment.
If we want to work on becoming more confident, we should really understand what confidence is and how we use it.
Believe it or not, confidence isn’t so easy to define. That’s because confidence looks different on different people.
So, what is confidence?
At the end of the day, being confident is more of a feeling than anything else. When you feel confident, you feel powerful, in control, brave, and sure. You feel good. Feeling confident is empowering.
What confidence all boils down to is a person’s belief in themselves and their ability to succeed. That’s it, really.
There’s a big difference between confidence and arrogance and knowing the difference can help you navigate the two.
Confidence is your ability to believe in yourself. Arrogance is an overestimation of your abilities.
Confidence doesn’t need an audience. Arrogance does. Confidence doesn’t need to put others down. Arrogance does.
Where confidence smiles, arrogance smirks. And while arrogance sometimes masquerades as confidence, it’s actually more often a result of lack of confidence.
Everyone has off days when they’re just not feeling very confident. But when a lack of confidence becomes chronic, it can really start to disrupt your life.
No one is confident all the time. But low self-esteem that never seems to let up can be exhausting. You start second-guessing yourself. You hesitate to take action. You’re afraid to show people who you really are.
So, where does lack of confidence come from?
Well, one source of low self-esteem is critical family members, peers, and coworkers. When you’re constantly put down by those around you, it can distort the way you see yourself. This holds especially true when that criticism comes from those we love and rely on for support, like our partners and parents.
But external criticism isn’t the only thing we need to be wary of. In fact, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy
Self-criticism is difficult to escape. When the negative commentary comes from within, it can be especially hard to shake.
We internalize the negative opinions of others and their criticisms become our own. After a while, the negative scripts we’ve written start to run on the show. And that’s where things can get out of control.
So, how do we take back that feeling of confidence to unlock our own personal potential? Being yourself plays a big role.
When we’re not happy with where we are in life, we tend to project that frustration outward. Maybe we wish we were in better shape, had a better job, or had time to pursue a personal project.
There are many reasons we judge and criticize ourselves. Genuine self-love has become increasingly scarce in our world of filtered selfies, hashtags, and social media likes.
We tend to value ourselves as others value us. But if we want to truly tap into our inner confidence, we have to work on being comfortable in our own skin, right here, right now, just the way we are.
Self-love and self-acceptance are half the battle. Being yourself, just as you are today, is one of the most powerful steps you can take to begin feeling more confident.
Learning how to believe in yourself to feel more confident is a skill. So, here are five little things you can do on a daily basis to supercharge your confidence and feel more empowered.
This is a big one, so that’s why it’s number one on this list.
Self-care is your way of telling yourself that you matter—because you do. Take at least twenty minutes out of every day to do something that’s entirely yours. Maybe it’s yoga. Maybe it’s meditation. Maybe it’s a glass of wine and a good book.
Turn off your phone. Shut the door. Let yourself take time for you. Just those handful of moments can make a huge difference.
A huge portion of our daily communication is nonverbal. But it’s not just other people we’re communicating with. We’re also communicating with ourselves.
Our body language is subliminally communicating just as much internally as it is externally. And you’d be amazed by how a subtle shift in your posture can change the way you feel.
Try this exercise: the next time you enter a room, drop your shoulders, lift your head, lengthen your spine and keep your arms relaxed at your sides.
Last but certainly not least: smile! Even if you don’t feel like it, a smile can do wonders to boost your confidence.
Celebrating your personal progress can definitely help you feel more confident in your abilities.
If you’d like a goal to celebrate, start small. Make a short to-do list and treat yourself to something once you’ve finished everything on the list. Even if it’s just a few house chores or getting outside for some exercise, make sure you celebrate each small victory.
After all, every step counts.
Okay, so maybe air guitar isn’t your thing. Maybe you’re more of an air keyboardist or an air drummer. But either way, break out those tunes and get jamming.
Music has a powerful effect on the brain, and when we listen to music we love, it’s an undeniable mood booster.
There’s nothing quite so empowering as dancing as if nobody’s watching. So, get some Journey on and rock out like rockstar you are.
We’re always going to have to deal with criticism in our lives. But it’s how we deal with that criticism that matters.
Whether it’s coming from a family member, a friend, or even your boss, there are graceful (and not so graceful!) ways to deal with criticism.
Marisa Peer, Author of Mindvalley’s Uncompromised Life Program, suggests that you begin by recognizing an important truth about critical people. She explains that critical people are even more critical of themselves than they are of others. Even if it seems like their criticism is directed at you, it’s actually just a reflection of their own unhappiness.
The best way to deal with critical people? Don’t take it personally and don’t give them ammunition to argue. Marissa suggests that you smile and acknowledge what they’ve said with a simple: “Thank you for sharing that.”
What do you do to help yourself feel more confident? Share your thoughts below.
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