How can we keep the passion burning in a relationship? Perhaps you’re still in the “honeymoon phase” and you’re simply looking for ways to heat up your already quite steamy bedroom. Or maybe you are experiencing a lack of affection and intimacy and searching for ways to reignite the fire.
Regardless of the current temperature of your relationship, there are many practices within your reach that can help you connect more deeply with your partner and truly awaken the passion between the two (or three, or four…) of you.
And we are sharing three powerful tools that can take you there. While they are rooted in tantra, mindfulness, and other more spiritual modalities, their loving benefits have also been proven by neuroscience. And they are easy to try out in the privacy of your home.
Introducing Zentra
At Zentra, we aim to bring those practices to as many couples (and singles on their quests) as possible. Below you will find three of our favorite “rituals” that will open up your hearts and bodies to an ever-increasing amount of love and pleasure.
There’s just one important thing to keep in mind before you start: let go of expectations. Don’t actively try to achieve anything with these practices. Instead, just be yourself. Relax. Allow yourself to open up to the experience with curiosity. Because the less pressure we put on our minds, hearts, and bodies, the more emotional and physical pleasure we can experience.
Are you ready? Then let’s make the magic happen:
1. Eye gazing
Did you know that the simple act of gazing into your partner’s eyes can enhance trust and love and boost intimacy and pleasure? Scientific evidence suggests that prolonged eye contact in a romantic setting stimulates your brain to release oxytocin (a.k.a. the cuddle hormone) and phenylethylamine (a.k.a. the love chemical). Both intensify your feelings.
That is also why this heart-opening practice is a beautiful warm-up for any passion-igniting activity. Especially if you are currently experiencing a lack of intimacy in your relationship, it’s not recommended to jump “straight to bed”. Instead, take your time to reconnect with your partner and be present with each other.
How to awaken the passion with an eye gaze
Start by finding a peaceful and quiet place together. To make this experience even more pleasant, you can light some candles or burn some incense. Set a timer for at least five minutes. Get seated in a comfortable position opposite your partner and gently hold each other’s hands. Take a few calming breaths.
Now, it’s time to start looking deeply into your partner’s eyes. Give each other a warm, loving smile. Offer your partner your full attention, as if they were the only person in the world.
Notice the depth of your partner’s eyes. The colors, the sparkle. Whisper gently, “I see you.” And let yourself be seen. With all your perfect imperfections. Give yourself loving permission to be vulnerable.
Notice how beautiful your partner is. Let them know how adorable they are with your loving gaze. Let them feel your full acceptance of who they are and how they look. And as a receiver, take in the love. Let your heart melt. You deserve it.
If tears appear, that’s completely normal. Simply stay focused on the experience. Notice how, with each and every breath, you’re opening your hearts more and more.
Keep looking at each other for at least for five minutes in the most tender and trusting way. Breathe deeply. Feel the connection. And when you’re done, smile at each other and express gratitude for your partner’s presence, acceptance, trust, and love. Finish this practice by giving each other a big warm loving hug, a kiss, or whatever else feels good for you two in the moment…
2. Love letters
After this beautiful warm-up, it’s time to go deeper. The Love Letters practice will help you and your partner express your feelings towards each other and make you feel truly loved and appreciated. It will help you reconnect on an emotional level and reignite the fire.
While you remain seated in a comfortable position, you will start asking and answering questions about your relationship, your love lives, and your experiences together to express your deepest appreciation for each other. You can ask your partner anything your heart wants to know. But here’s a sample list of questions.
5 questions to ask your partner to awaken the passion
- What do you love the most about me?
- What 3 things about me are you most grateful for?
- What is your favorite memory from our relationship?
- Do you remember our first kiss? Or our first date? (Tell me how you felt at that moment.)
- What really turns you on about me?
Feel free to modify this list and ask more questions that are even more customized to your unique relationship. The point is to evoke heart-warming feelings between you two, to remind yourself what you truly appreciate about each other, and to reminisce about the good times you had together.
You can also use this practice to share your visions about your future together, reveal your dreams, or set joint goals.
The key to making this exercise successful is being honest, vulnerable, and patient. It is important to allocate enough time for this exercise so both of you can comfortably answer all the questions. An essential part of this practice is to be really present with each other, to listen carefully, and to feel heard.
To make it even more romantic, you can ask each other to write down your feelings in the form of a romantic love letter.
This letter doesn’t have to belong. Just let your words come straight from your heart. Appreciate your partner, compliment them, and express your love and gratitude.
When you’re done, read it out loud to your partner. Feel like Romeo or Juliet.
Finally, exchange the letters so your partner can always come back to it whenever they need a reminder of your loving connection and of how amazing they are.
3. Blindfold passion
Oh yes, now it’s time to heighten your senses, turn up the heat, and awaken more passion between you and your partner.
Now that your hearts are more open and you both feel loved and appreciated, it’s time for more bodily pleasure; you are about to enter the world of conscious touch and sensual playfulness. We recommend using a pair of blindfolds to heighten the other senses.
Before you start, please communicate any boundaries you may have surrounding parts of your bodies that you do or do not want to include in this practice.
How to awaken the passion between the sheets
Sit opposite each other and while both of you have your blindfolds on, start bringing your palms closer towards each other. Slowly start brushing each other’s hands and forearms using just your fingertips.
Apply a very gentle, feather-light touch. Feel the softness of your partner’s skin under your fingertips. It’s best to take turns, so one of you can focus fully on giving and the other on receiving the pleasant sensations. Breathe deeply. Extend your touch up to your partner’s shoulders. Stroke their arms.
Now you can move closer to each other and simultaneously start touching each other’s necks, stroking each other’s hair, and caressing each other’s face. Slowly and gently. Follow the rhythm of your bodies. You can even slowly get up and continue guiding your partner in the form of a little dance. Just please be mindful of the objects surrounding you.
Then, continue touching each other’s bodies, and remember the boundaries you communicated at the start. Move your heads closer but don’t lean into a kiss just yet. Instead, focus on feeling your partner’s face right next to you, sensing their scent and literally breathing them in. Heighten your sense of smell. Keep touching each other’s bodies slowly and gently. Tune into this beautiful, intimate moment. And after a few minutes, if you feel like it, you can now gently kiss your partner.
Imagine you were kissing your partner for the very first time. Focus on all the sensations. On feeling their lips on your lips, on tasting them, licking them, on experiencing this moment fully. Don’t rush into anything.
Then, just simply follow your body’s needs and your hearts’ desires. You can continue this intimate journey and go deeper into the union while having your blindfolds on. Stay mindful of each and every kiss, each and every touch, and each and every breath.
And after finishing all three rituals, make sure you find a space to openly share your experience in a loving and honest way.
How to make the most of your intimate practices
Once you can switch your focus from the “goal” of being intimate to simply being with, connecting with, and appreciating each other, true passion will be ignited. So approach your intimate practices as if they were true rituals. Drop the expectation, try to be fully present with your partner, and simply cherish each and every moment.
And if you would like to experience the magic of these rituals even deeper, our free guided practices are available for you. In the series “Ignite Your Love Life with Zentra,” you will find these three powerful practices with all the instructions combined with sensual music in the background. They are available for free on the Mindvalley app in the section “Meditations.”
Looking to further heighten the senses and experience an even deeper, blissful connection? Download the Zentra App (available on AppStore and Google Play) for even more tantric rituals, practices, and meditations.
Enjoy.
