I have a story to share today.
One that might shift your frequency.
The first day the COVID lockdown was finally lifted, I rushed to a little café with a friend. Just the joy of being able to eat out again felt like a celebration.
We had to wait 20 minutes to get in. The place was packed. People stood outside, smiling behind their masks, desperate for a taste of normal life.
Do you remember that time?
The world was still a little raw. A little awkward. But something inside all of us just wanted connection again.
Now here’s where it gets… interesting.
The service?
Well, let’s just say the universe was testing us.
First came the coffee.
And it was served at room temperature.
Now, in Northern Europe, “room temperature” means achingly cold.
I flagged the waitress—kindly—and asked if I could get a fresh, hot one.
She nodded. And then vanished into the void. No second cup.
Then the food came.
I had ordered an omelet with a side of guacamole.
Now, if you know me, you know this part already:
Guacamole is sacred.
It is the nectar of the gods. The green gold of civilization.
So when my plate arrived—without the guacamole—part of me broke inside.
I was low-key triggered.
Meanwhile, my friend across the table was getting increasingly annoyed. The cold coffee. The missing guac. The delay. The forgotten request. The waitress barely looked up from her notepad.
“This is ridiculous,” she muttered.
But here’s the thing—I wasn’t mad.
Because earlier that morning, I had done my 6 Phase Meditation, and Phase 1—Compassion—had already shifted something in me.
I took a breath. And I looked at the waitress—really looked at her.
That waitress had probably been jobless for three months.
We were all locked down. Restaurants were shut.
And like the rest of us, she was probably feeling painfully alone.
But unlike us, she may have had the added weight of worry:
Where’s the next paycheck coming from?
How will I take care of the kids?
What if the café closes again next week?
Now she’s back on the job, wearing a mask over her nose and mouth for 10 straight hours in an overcrowded café.
And from the corner of her eye, she can see a line of 20 more customers outside, waiting to be seated.
She’s probably doing her best to keep up with a tidal wave of requests, all while quietly holding this terrifying truth in the back of her mind:
“This could all disappear again.”
So yeah. From that perspective?
She was doing a hell of a job.
What if she hadn’t worked in three months?
What if she was terrified of losing her job again?
What if she was carrying the weight of bills, kids, or long-haul COVID… and still showed up?
So when the bill came, I tipped her 20 euros on a 40-euro meal.
My friend nearly choked.
“Are you serious? She messed up everything.”
I just smiled and said, “Yeah. But she’s still standing. And I respect that.”
We walked out of that café a little more caffeinated… and a lot more compassionate.
Now here’s where it gets interesting
I kept thinking about it.
Not the guac. Okay, maybe the guac.
But mostly—the power of that one choice.
The choice to see differently. To act differently.
And then a bigger thought hit me:
Why do we do this so rarely, when this is exactly what all our sacred texts ask of us?
What would Jesus do?
If Jesus were in that café, He wouldn’t be muttering under His breath.
He wouldn’t be demanding a free meal.
He’d smile. Tip. Maybe even bless her on the way out.
If you’re Muslim, maybe you’d reflect on the principle of Zakat.
To give without expectation.
To see others through the eyes of mercy, not merit.
But maybe religion isn’t your thing. That’s cool. You still need a compass, right?
So here’s one I love—equal parts spiritual and cinematic legend:
WWKD—What Would Keanu Do?
Yes. That Keanu.
Whether it was his role as Neo in The Matrix, the deadly but noble John Wick, or the ever-optimistic Ted in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure—Keanu Reeves is considered one of the nicest humans on Earth.
And it’s not just fan hype.
It’s the way he lives.
This is a man who…
- Lost the love of his life in a tragic car accident.
- Lost his child before she was born.
- Lost his best friend, River Phoenix, to an overdose.
He’s known loss. He’s known grief.
And maybe that’s why he walks through life with more humility.
More softness.
More presence.
You’ve heard the stories:
- He quietly donates millions to children’s hospitals.
- He buys meals for homeless strangers—no cameras, no PR.
- He gave away most of his Matrix salary to the crew and special effects team.
- He bought Rolex watches for his John Wick 4 stunt team—engraved, personalized.
- He gives up his subway seat without blinking.
- He takes time for every fan, every photo, every hug.
- He mourns privately and deeply… and still shows up with gentleness in his eyes.
So when the world throws you a test—
An annoying waiter.
A rude email.
A delayed flight.
A missing guacamole incident…
You don’t have to fight back.
You can ask:
What Would Keanu Do?
But what if you can’t afford to tip big?
That’s okay too.
Because giving has nothing to do with money.
It has to do with frequency.
One of our Mindvalley teachers, MBA professor Srikumar Rao (author of The Quest for Personal Mastery on Mindvalley), once shared something I’ll never forget.
We were having coffee one afternoon, and he said:
“If a server has an attitude problem or seems cold, I don’t get upset. I play a little game.
I ask myself: Can I put a smile on their face?
Maybe they’re struggling. Maybe they’ve had a hard day.
So I’ll compliment them. Crack a joke. Share warmth.
The goal is simple—just create a smile.”
If you can’t give a tip, give a smile.
Because here’s the truth about giving:
What you give… you receive.
Not in a cosmic law of attraction kind of way.
But in a how you show up kind of way.
And it has nothing to do with how much money you have.
Neale Donald Walsch, speaking at Mindvalley once, said something profound about attracting money by stepping into the energy of abundance.
“You want to be abundant. Here’s my advice.
Even if you only have $5 to your name, break it into singles.
And give $1, just $1, to someone homeless.
That is the energy of abundance.
And when you step into that energy—with just $5 to your name—you begin to attract more.”
Shift. The. Frequency.
I remind myself of this often.
I wear a small cross—not because of religion, but to anchor myself in the energy of Christ.
To remind myself to be softer. Kinder. More compassionate.
Maybe you don’t wear a cross.
Maybe you wear a pin from your favorite Keanu movie—John Wick, The Matrix, Bill & Ted.
Whatever it is… let it ground you.
Let it whisper to you in those tiny, pivotal moments:
WWKD?
What Would Keanu Do?
P.S. What Would Keanu Do? is the mindset exercise I’ll be sharing at orientation at Mindvalley U this summer in Amsterdam.
In fact, I often teach this to our community when we descend on a city—be it Tallinn or Amsterdam—for Mindvalley events.
During the weeks of powerful talks, workshops, and community experiences, I remind our members:
Your job is not just to grow yourself—but to light up the lives of everyone you meet.
From waiters to Uber and Bolt drivers to street cleaners…
Bring some joy to their lives.
And the results?
Phenomenal.
To this day, when I walk through Tallinn, people still say to me,
“I love the people who come to your event. They’re so kind. So respectful. I love serving them.”
And that’s the ripple of conscious community.
That’s how being part of something like Mindvalley rewires you.
You start living outside the default settings of society.
You start tipping… even when the service is bad.
Because you don’t know what’s going on in that waitress’s life.
And when you make that small choice?
You don’t just elevate her day.
You elevate yourself.
And sometimes, that’s how we change the world—one tip, one smile, one moment of grace at a time.
So now it’s your turn
Do you have a story of a time when you chose kindness, especially when the world wouldn’t have expected it?
Share it in the comments.
And tell me what this letter stirred in you.
Note: Mindvalley U, Amsterdam, happens Aug 4 to 18—learn more here. Maybe I’ll see you there. The response has been phenomenal, with ticket sales up 60% from 2024.
Shift. The. Frequency.
Vishen
62 Responses
Hi Vishen,
This was an amazing article and so needed in these turbulent, divisive, and angry times. We have so much to be thankful for and yet minutiae often guide our behavior in ways that lead to our own suffering, which pales in comparison to so many parts of the world. Conversely, even small, kind gestures can uplift our spirit as you say.
My story of kindness is not of one event, but of a recurring thing I did until Covid shut things down. There is quaint old cafe in downtown Ottawa where I live and that I would frequent Sunday mornings. In the area, I would often see a gentleman in a wheelchair, both legs amputated just above the knee. I never knew his status overall, but nonetheless, I would make sure to go to his usual spot, where he sat, cup in hand. I made a habit of giving him a $5 bill everytime I saw him. At times, he wouldn’t be there and that was always a disappointment as this small sharing with him and the smile he always gave uplifted me greatly, my benefit being far greater than his in ways.
I have gone back a couple of times recently and haven’t seen him. I hope he’s well for both our sakes….
Paul
Good job. Hope he is OK and will show up soon.
I always read your messages, I appreciate them. Thank you so much for show me that we are more and more. Blessings from Chile.
I’m almost 80 yrs old and I don’t remember ‘when’ I didn’t automatically ‘think this way’. Perhaps it’s due to having severe losses very early in my life. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. And tipping generously is another thing I love to do. I always say to myself: “Is this going to make a significant difference in my finances”…obviously not. But it will bring joy to the server. And that’s what counts. Also, I am very free with compliments to strangers. It’s very rewarding to see them ‘perk up’ and a smile appears on their face. My oldest brother (that existed planet earth 4 yrs ago) was a wonderful example of passing out complications freely. I grew up being the recipient of those compliments. Jimmy was more like a father to the younger siblings at time, as we grew up without one. Observing him with strangers and the joy he brought them was such a gift. Kindness & thoughtfulness are a couple of my favorite words and don’t judge anyone. You never know what someone is dealing with.
Dear Vishen,
You got a bit too sentimental; it’s all the same whether you think positively or negatively of the waitress. Do you see her, or do you imagine and project your idea about her? After that comes the preaching (how boring). What has Kenau to do with it? He (I hope) is certainly not doing all the good things…, uh, for you, one of the nicest people in the world; what a ridiculous random platitude. Since Trumpdump, we seem to love to use superlatives, and since an overdone woke regime, we have become so ‘understanding,’ ‘respectful,’ and ’empathetic’ … and egocentric. Do you feel good, America, that ‘we’ still love you??? What an arrogance. And you do feel like a good person because of giving an overdone bragging tip? Instead of putting her in an awkward position and having to be grateful, be interested in her as a person. You can still give her support after getting to ‘know’ her in a more decent way instead of a cheap showing off 20 dollars.
Your event in Amsterdam looks fantastic, but for a person with an average income, it is just too expensive. A $ 20 tip is genuinely a great act of kindness.
Leonie
Thanks for sharing Vishen, I love it and I agree so much on what was wrote in this article. You can choose how to react to situations and with kidness on your side there will be more love on the streets.
I can share one experience from a month ago that happen with my car at the dealership, I took it for a checkup and after more than 4 hours I got a message to step to the managers office to talk about a situation in my head I was okay is something mechanic that need to be review more in detail… and it wasn’t, they did a drive test and unfortunately another car hit mine during that process… My car is new and was just turning one year… and I was so calm, and I think I even smile at the end… I couldn’t believe what happen but at the same time. I thought there is no reason for me to get mad at then.. scream, or be rude… so I choose peace. Even days after I have to go back to get a replacement car and the worker that drove my car that day was leaving and he look at me with shame in his eyes and I just smile at him.
I’m only posting this because I know it won’t be approved for public consumption, but I can’t help but point out the utter absurdity of this post. The fact that a lack of guac on one’s plate COULD have been triggering is absolutely insane.
What would Jesus do? He wouldn’t order guac. He wouldn’t focus on his own petty needs. He would use his resources to fix the system, not to give a (not-that-magnanimous) tip on a subpar order. He would have focused on the twenty people who were having to wait outside.
I’m not saying this as a criticism but maybe as a wake-up call. Giving a big tip to a struggling waitress is nice, but it’s nothing to write home about. It’s crumbs from your table. Giving that relatively small amount of money was not a sacrifice for you.
Your setting yourself up as a paragon of virtue for giving a big tip is insulting.
The guac is a joke. Was this not obvious?
So true.Let me share a story of myself.Many years ago i was traveling in the Dominican Republic.I was staying with a friend a local musician who had a house with no electricty well maybe once a week the lights cake on and the whole village was celebrating that with music and joy.He made just enough money to support him self and help family or friend when they were in need.1 day we were walking thu the streets of Santo Domingo and there was a beggar in the street.My friend (his name was Charlie) gave him money and i was puzzled.Growing up in Germany my believe was the beggar should work earn his money.And be side he probably would just go and by some rum from the money.Sharing my thoughts with Charlie he responded.It does not matter if he could work and it does not matter if he is buying rum with this money.What matters is that we are very fortunate to be able to help and share and hopefully improve whatever situation this poor man is in.I stayed a few month with Charlie at this time and learned more from him, who never studied or was educated by any school system than I had all these years before.
My story goes back to the late 80’s after graduating high school. This is more of a moment in life that has stuck with me when a simple act of kindness which brought out raw emotion from a stranger. This was the era of people dying from AIDS and was a very scary time. I had taken a bus ride a few hours away to see a friend. I hadn’t done many trips on a bus but was excited for the adventure. At one of the stops a person got on the bus in his hospital gown and did not look well. He walked slowly and sat down next to me. As the bus ride continued he looked very sad. Something came over me and I just decided to open up and try to be friendly which was not easy for me. The way the person looked I felt he must have cancer or something. I could tell he had a lot to say and just tried to listen. For him he was able to just chat with someone and be normal. As our time came to an end and it was my time to get off the bus I made a simple gesture. I shook his hand goodbye and wished him the best. As this happened he broke down crying. I said to him it will be ok. He said that’s not why I’m crying. He said I haven’t had anyone get close or touch me since I got sick. I have AIDS and no one will talk to me. Something came over me as I was not fearful. It felt like a bigger power had brought this person into my life and reminded me we are all the same. We want family, friends, companionship and mostly just love. It is a moment that did change my life and I will always remember it.
Thank you for this reminder, Vishen. Kindness, Gratitude and Generosity are three keys to creating happiness within and without. Blessings!
A few months ago I attempted to go to a Christian church with my parents for the first time in over a decade. Long story short, I got pulled out of praise and worship and interrogated by 2 ushers. “Who are you? Why are you here?” (I stand out…I often dress very hippie/gypsy) after a few minutes of this and them starting to tell me that that “I’m wrong” (for the way I display and practice my faith) I ended up leaving. Devastated actually and cried in my car. Then a homeless guy who I had been helping called me and wanted to see me. I told him I really didn’t feel up to it (I was emotional). He said please give me 20 mins so I met up with him. We sat in the parking lot for over an hour talking about God, praying, and pulling Oracle/tarot cards. He was so grateful and we had a wonderful time talking about life. The following day I was able to get him a bicycle so he at least had transportation.
Even when I myself felt poorly, I chose kindness. And I’m so thankful I did!
This is a great reminder … I was just grumbling to my partner about an email that was ouchy to me. Now I realize that it is partly her sense of humour, partly all the stress she is under and partly not thinking about how it might land for me. On the one hand it might be helpful to know how it landed for me … I just said “OUCH”. On the other hand I think she might appreciate your message today so I’m sending it on to her … THANK YOU for brightening my day … Betty in Victoria, BC, Canada on Canada Day 😉
I see kindness everywhere all day and whereI don’t see it I leave it. I imagine that everybody has a sticker on their forehead that says.’ make me feel special.’ It’s so easy, it’s free and it fills my cup. I also have a favourite quote that I live by,’ it is in my reaction to your action, that my salvation will be found’ Donald Walsh, conversations with God and then of course I remember, that love is the answer.
That resonated with me so deeply, so profoundly, a lesson learned, harsh yet gentle. Just this morning I was lamenting a relative who expresses himself in a manner that comes across as dismissive, not kind, often demeaning. It affects my sense of worth, it hurts. As I was sharing this pain I said one cannot make something good by making someone else bad, my effort to try and feel better about myself. Now I have read your inspiring piece and I ask myself aren’t I doing the same? Making him bad and hoping to make myself good? Thank you Vishen this has given me pause for a rethink, perhaps to look at my relative more kindly, find his pain, look at him through the eyes of compassion. I thank you.
I love this post! I always try to see things through the eyes of others and always remember that we never know what is going on with anyone else, they could have lost a loved one, had a negative health diagnosis, etc and are just trying to get through the moment. I have as well tried to make someone smile and or just have a conversation and it not only makes them feel good but helps your mood as well. Thank you for this reminder!
Thank you for putting a smile on my face
What would Keanu do? Shift the frequencies , always and bless his generous gestures
I want to say that people are advised to keep generating money flow in difficult times through creating transactions
I just want to say : we do these and people benefit but also the self which is happier by helping in the smallest of ways. But though I know this : sometimes I grrrroar , kind of the other side of me , and then I have trained myself to not go overboard with guilt. Is compassion a side of empathy ? I wouldn’t know as yet , but is a smile the bridge over to my inner calm , I rely on my smile , I cannot always depend on others. And that shifts my frequencies too.
I can’t be too perfekt , am trying and I always hide the tip under the plate , it is embarrassing …whoosh