I know this is a bold title — but hear me out. It’s a story about a man you’ve definitely heard of… but maybe didn’t really know. A man who made one powerful decision before his death — and it changed the nature of his life and the life of his child.
Hey Mindvalley family,
Something has been hitting me hard lately — in the best, most gut-punching kind of way.
My son Hayden is turning 18.
My daughter Eve just finished primary school. High school is next. She still slips her hand into mine when we cross the street — but I can feel the clock ticking on that too.
I’ve spent years building a company that helps people transform. I’ve stood on stages, meditated with monks, interviewed billionaires and brain scientists… And yet nothing has brought me face-to-face with the raw, trembling truth of life like this:
My biggest moments with my kids are happening right now — and soon, they’ll be gone.
They won’t leave my heart, of course. But they’ll leave the daily dance of our lives — the bedtime stories, the inside jokes, the random conversations about Marvel movies and TikTok memes and God knows what else. The ordinary magic that vanishes without warning.
And I can’t stop thinking about a story I recently heard — one that stopped me in my tracks.
It was shared by Warren Farrell, a bestselling author and renowned thinker in men’s work. I’ve never met him personally, but the story he told is one I’ll never forget.
The story of Warren and John (a true story that happened in the late 1970s)
A night at a party, a stranger with a story
Warren was attending a party in New York — a Ms. Magazine celebration for its fifth anniversary. He had promised to meet with Gloria Steinem there, and as he entered, he made eye contact with her across the room. She was surrounded by admirers. He wasn’t. But he started working his way toward her.
Suddenly, a man stepped up and asked,
“Are you Warren Farrell?”
Warren replied, “Yes.”
The man smiled.
“I joined the men’s group that you started, but you always start the groups and then leave them and go on to something else like the Lone Ranger.”
Warren admitted that he was being a bit dismissive at first — self-aware enough to recognize it — because he was trying to make his way to Gloria.
But then the man said:
“I gave up my job and focused full-time on raising my son because I had previously, you know, neglected a previous son that I had. And I really felt I made a mistake doing that.”
That stopped Warren cold. Now he had Warren’s attention.
Warren then turned fully to him and asked gently,
“Were you married?”
The man nodded:
“Yes.”
Warren followed up:
“Was your wife okay with this? Because a lot of women are very supportive about their husbands being more involved with their children, but they’re not very supportive about the husband taking off full time, earning no money, and being involved with children.”
He looked at the man and asked,
“Were you earning a decent living before?”
To which the man gave a quirkish smile and said:
“There were two things that were crucial. One was the support of my wife. And the other one was the support of the men’s group.”
At that point, Warren said,
“Now I’m just forgetting about Gloria. I’m sitting down with him, and for the next hour he tells me about how meaningful his life has become since he’s been raising his son. And how enormous value that’s been. And has been the best decision he’s ever made in his life.”
The man told Warren that
“his soul opened up, and his heart opened up,”
and that he’d had a lot of issues with his own father —
“and those seemed to be healing in a way that he had never healed before.”
Warren sat there, no longer a speaker, no longer a feminist leader, no longer trying to meet anyone at the party. He was just a man being spoken to by another man, sharing something real — something rarely voiced in that era.
About an hour into the conversation, someone approached their table.
“Can I have your autograph?” the young man asked.
Warren looked up, mildly surprised.
“Yeah sure, just one second,” he replied, excusing himself to handle the request.
But he noticed something odd. The young man was looking at him awkwardly.
Warren paused and said,
“Okay… something’s happening here.”
The man shifted uncomfortably and said:
“Well actually, I do really want your autograph… but I really was actually asking for the other guy’s autograph.”
Warren turned to the man he’d been speaking to, now feeling a rising curiosity.
“Well… what’s your name? You must be fairly well known.”
The man replied:
“I’m John.”
Warren:
“I’m Warren, you know that. Well John who?”
He said,
“John Lennon.”
Let that sink in.
Warren had just spent an hour ignoring Gloria Steinem to have a heart-to-heart with the most famous musician on the planet… and didn’t even realize it. Warren admitted he hadn’t owned a TV in over 20 years and wasn’t up to date with popular culture.
But here’s the part that gets me — the part that hits me like Hayden’s birthday and Eve’s graduation rolled into one:
Even at the height of his fame, the thing John Lennon wanted to talk about wasn’t music or money or global peace. It was fatherhood.
The greatest decision of his life, he said, was stepping away from it all to raise his son.
Now, consider this.
John Lennon’s first son, Julian, was born in 1963 — at the height of Beatlemania. John was 23 and largely absent due to the storm of fame.
But his second son, Sean, was born in 1975.
John left the music industry entirely for five years — from 1975 until his assassination on December 8, 1980 — to raise Sean full-time. He called himself a “house husband.” He baked bread. He changed diapers. He walked his son to school.
He gave those five years everything.
And then, just as suddenly as he appeared to Warren, he was gone.
Five short years of presence.
But five years that John Lennon himself called the most meaningful of his life.
My personal reflection
As I reflect on this story… as I look at my son on the edge of adulthood and my daughter stepping into her next chapter, I find myself asking:
Am I giving them my presence, not just my protection?
Am I showing up for their souls, not just their schedules?
Am I willing to pause the world… to be with them, fully?
Because in the end, legacy isn’t what you leave behind.
It’s what you leave within the people who loved you most.
And maybe, just maybe, the quiet choice to be a better father is the loudest message we’ll ever send the world.
So here’s the point
If you’re a parent, stop reading this for a second.
Go hug your kid. Even if they’re annoyed. Even if they roll their eyes.
One day, that moment might be the memory that holds them together.
Because in the end, the biggest legacy we leave isn’t the company we built, the followers we gained, or the awards we won…
It’s the invisible, soul-sized mark we leave on our children’s hearts.
John Lennon knew it.
Warren Farrell witnessed it.
And now, I’m walking that path too.
Are you?
PS – Read the lyrics for the song John Lennon wrote to his son Julian in 1980 shortly before he died. (Poetically, the song ends with a quote from Émile Coué and José Silva.)
Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans
…Beautiful boy
…Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way, it’s getting better and better.
Share your reflections
I’d love to hear how this story and these insights resonate with you. Leave me a comment below — I read every single one.
To your extraordinary life,
— Vishen
—
Featured image credits: John Lennon, Yoko Ono and Sean Lennon at the Dakota building, NYC. December 12, 1975. Image #: C-06 © Bob Gruen
256 Responses
Feeling this deeply recently, I’m writing a book and had been in a funk thinking how I might never achieve all my goals but as I sat in the kitchen with all my kids (aged 19, 16, 8 and 6) and my husband, the 6 year old pottering about doing his own thing but everyone else chatting and laughing it hit me so hard how cliched as it may sound “the big things really are the little things” and how even if I become a NY Times Bestseller (may as well dream big) nothing can compare to this, to what I already have in my life now.
BIG LOVE to you Vishen
It is very true and unfortunate that we tend to lost focus of what really should matter. I needed this reminder, but still find it hard to just walk over and hug my kids. I’ve been a single mom for so long and life has been fast and furious in survival mode; just trying to make ends meet and provide food, clothing and shelter. It’s hard though, when you look around you and everyone is doing better for themselves and their children. I’ve been trying to break free by taking courses or trying to learn self growth, however when you’re so tired and spent from the daily life it’s hard to find the strength and energy to do anything more than the daily required. I haven’t been able to motivate my son to progress in life and that’s heart breaking, it’s a failure on my end. I’ve been through years of trying to keep him off the wrong path, which he is now, but how do I get him to do something in life other than hanging out with the dog at home all day.
I’m happy to know that you read each comment Vishen and look forward to some advice.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful story Vishen. I hope that it will move some men into action. It saddens me to say that my father was a workaholic. I admire & respect the fact that he wanted to provide for his family, but I would have gladly forgone some luxuries to spend more quality time with him. I firmly believe it would have made a profound impact on who I am today. Never under estimate the value of simply being present with your child.
What a beautiful story, Vishen! This article came to me when I needed to hear it the most. Here and there, I forget my real mission as a mother, so thank you for the reminder. Blessings!
Vishen ~
I am grateful to have had the opportunity to come up to you at the Manifesting Summit gala to say Thank you~
You might not know everything that Thank You held, my lone processes of personal growth, the excavation of the Soul Self, but I trust my knowing that that Thank you echoed in an instant moment the meaning of everything you do. No, it’s not leaving a legacy behind, it’s shifting within~ having reached the core of me, the deepest decades dormant parts, and what’s emerging to be expressed scares a little. The perception of the reality itself is shifting and that’s large enough to integrate. But I’m walking full on forward toward the version of me that is Becoming, the version of me that is an aching lion who won’t stop until that ache is obliterated, until I know myself to my fullest. That ache will transform the very Notion of Love a little girl in me knew at 14 and carried muted for decades. With everything you publicly do and say, you’ve been feeding that inner soul mission fire for Love that ALWAYS wins! So, let me try again ~THANK YOU💜
This was absolutely beautiful! Thank you for the reminder. Be there for your children, teens, young adults, whatever their age, but especially during their growing up years. I am a single parent there for my daughter with special needs. I had to fight for her. Legal battles are no fun but well worth it. She will not be going away as an adult. And still, it is important to show her every day who I am and who she is for me. And I think she gets it. Thank you for sharing. And thank you John Lennon for being so ahead of your time.
Thank you, Vishen, for sharing this story! It’s touched me deeply. I have very personal experience that made me sad. The person that I choose to be father of my kids didn’t realize the value of time spent with children. Childhood comes only once! Unfortunately in our society either because of need or because of societal pressure careers, money, and acquiring properties are put higher on the societal ladder then the time spent with children. I was very passionate about being a mother because it didn’t come easy to me. I was told that I cannot have children. And when I did I valued that enormously. I postponed my career, I put aside my ambitions, and I felt blessed and joyful to be with my children. And I felt so hurt when the father of my children didn’t want to come home in the evening on time to spend time, read stories, or simply say good night to them, he was busy building a business and his social presence. We got divorced at one point. And even in our divorce I was thinking that my kids might be able to see even more often their father because of the organized time after the divorce. Unfortunately my kids do not have good relationships with their father even now when they are adults. And this might be one of the reasons why they’ve had difficulties in their personal realizations, in their own relationships, and their mental health. Now they have to have their own decisions of how to navigate their lives and I hope they’ll make wise choices. I believe that life is happening for us not to us and every experience is a lesson that can teach us to give more love to ourselves and to the world. I hope more and more people will start realizing the golden value of time spent with their loved ones and with their children. Thanks and Blessings!
This touched me 🩷 it brought tears to my eyes touching the most important thing of being alive, our presence together and caring deeply for all as we are part of them and they are part of us
This is such a beautiful story! Vishen, You are such a fantastic story teller and from one Dad to another, Bravo! Just Bravo, Bravo!
This is such a beautiful story! Vishen, You are such a fantastic story teller and from one Dad to another, Bravo! Just Bravo, Bravo!
Thanks Vishen! This is a beautiful story packed with a very powerful message. Thank you for modeling the beauty of fatherhood and teaching those around you the infinite benefits. <3
Two days ago our oldest son told us of a friend who had died suddenly on holiday, age just 29. So reading this email was very poignant. I knew before I had children that I wanted to be the one spending time with them when young and not doing that would be a regret that I didn’t want later in life. I was made redundant whilst pregnant and chose not to go back to work. It was tough at times of course. Our boys are now 25 and 27, both living in their own homes now, with lovely girlfriends. We see them regularly. We went out for lunch together on Sunday and we are going out to dinner with our sons tonight – although this is not the norm every week! We are fortunate they live close by and they seem to want to spend time with us. I hope that will always be the case. I hope we have done enough to ensure they are happy. The years do fly by in the blink of an eye and I have sometimes thought I would love one more day with them when they were both young – to relish every single second of that day, the hugs and the laughter. None of us know how long we have to spend together so reflecting on the tragic loss of a young man who was a son and a brother, I know I will hug both our sons just a little harder tonight and savour every moment with them.
Dear vishen
Thank you for sharing this..Every one resonates with me..Healing and self reflection is necessary in these times.My heartful gratitude for this post and i really wish God bless all of us abundance of love and energy..
I am a single woman 61 without children. Reading this was truly inspirational as I think about how I would like to leave my footprint through a children’s book I am completing for Christmas 2025. I have been speaking about leaving a legacy as I do not have children, though in reading this story it became apparent that to even change one child’s life through my written word will be a gift.
Thank you for sharing Vishen. Your children are fortunate to enjoy such a thoughtful caring man and my guess is that they will always reach out and grab your hand.
Hi Vishen, thank you for sharing this story. My children a grown now and I often wonder as a mom who was the main bread winner of the family what I sacrificed in terms of deeper connections with my children because of the many responsibilities I tried to juggle as mother and wife of a very depressed and angry spouse. My adult children are now I there late 20s and mid 30s but it’s never too late to deepen the bonds between parent and child, Your piece has helped me to reflect and to strengthen my commitment to growth as a mother. Thank you
I’m sitting on a train travelling from the South to the North with tears in my eyes. This captures the message I was always trying to get across to my (then) husband but he berated me, ignored me, shouted often and now at 73 he’s sad, sorry and lonely. Our son, at 40, is working through the emotional damage.
This is simply the most impactful message I have read in a long while. It immediately shaped my decisions for the short and long term as I read your message and watched my son whom I just put to sleep a few minutes before reading everything else just seems fall in place. Raising children is the single most important goal we parents are opportune to attain. We should take it with the dedication it deserves and the benefits can’t be overstated. It makes the world a better place.
Thank you Vishen for this wonderful remainder. Life happens so fast and on the blink of the eye, the little kid turn into a grown-up. What a great story. Creating the space and the connection with my son (now he´s 11 y/o) is a “non-negociable” in my daily busy life. As he grows, as well we grow together, transforming the way we communicate, always connected from the heart and the soul.
Thank you again for this!
Dear Vishen, WOA! Thank you for putting your heart and words into this beatifull message. It just got me in the right moment! I am so blessed to have the opportunity to currently spend to weeks with my baby boy at Mallorca. He is going to school after summer and i wanted to enjoy time with him. Well especially today i felt that greatfull parenting feeling because our time together here is going to end soon and often the daily chaotig sheduled hustle are taking those besutifull moments. But Not Today 🫶👌☺️! I so often feel stressed and overwelmend with them but now after i had the time to breathe again, to fully be present with him, after regarging my energy i am just able to feel the blessing of beeing his mum ♥️. So thank you for even deepening that feeling with your story 🙏🏼
PS: Finally this summer i have the chance to bring my oldest one (the other VIP 😄) to MVU. I am waiting for this oppurtunity since 2 years and now i am able to bring this to life 🙌🥳
Blessings
Biggi
Beloved Vishen,
Leave behind vs leave within… All the same! As legacy is what you decide to imprint in THE moment in time. If you deconstruct the concept of separation, and as we all evolve towards the remembrance of oneness, simply open your heart and love more, wider, bigger, bolder… and as you share this authentic self, in true presence, the resonance of love will meet the ones in tuned and leave a seed for the ones on the path. Legacy is then built. Beyond borders. Beyond concepts. Beyond imagination. In the spirit of oneness.