I know this is a bold title — but hear me out. It’s a story about a man you’ve definitely heard of… but maybe didn’t really know. A man who made one powerful decision before his death — and it changed the nature of his life and the life of his child.
Hey Mindvalley family,
Something has been hitting me hard lately — in the best, most gut-punching kind of way.
My son Hayden is turning 18.
My daughter Eve just finished primary school. High school is next. She still slips her hand into mine when we cross the street — but I can feel the clock ticking on that too.
I’ve spent years building a company that helps people transform. I’ve stood on stages, meditated with monks, interviewed billionaires and brain scientists… And yet nothing has brought me face-to-face with the raw, trembling truth of life like this:
My biggest moments with my kids are happening right now — and soon, they’ll be gone.
They won’t leave my heart, of course. But they’ll leave the daily dance of our lives — the bedtime stories, the inside jokes, the random conversations about Marvel movies and TikTok memes and God knows what else. The ordinary magic that vanishes without warning.
And I can’t stop thinking about a story I recently heard — one that stopped me in my tracks.
It was shared by Warren Farrell, a bestselling author and renowned thinker in men’s work. I’ve never met him personally, but the story he told is one I’ll never forget.
The story of Warren and John (a true story that happened in the late 1970s)
A night at a party, a stranger with a story
Warren was attending a party in New York — a Ms. Magazine celebration for its fifth anniversary. He had promised to meet with Gloria Steinem there, and as he entered, he made eye contact with her across the room. She was surrounded by admirers. He wasn’t. But he started working his way toward her.
Suddenly, a man stepped up and asked,
“Are you Warren Farrell?”
Warren replied, “Yes.”
The man smiled.
“I joined the men’s group that you started, but you always start the groups and then leave them and go on to something else like the Lone Ranger.”
Warren admitted that he was being a bit dismissive at first — self-aware enough to recognize it — because he was trying to make his way to Gloria.
But then the man said:
“I gave up my job and focused full-time on raising my son because I had previously, you know, neglected a previous son that I had. And I really felt I made a mistake doing that.”
That stopped Warren cold. Now he had Warren’s attention.
Warren then turned fully to him and asked gently,
“Were you married?”
The man nodded:
“Yes.”
Warren followed up:
“Was your wife okay with this? Because a lot of women are very supportive about their husbands being more involved with their children, but they’re not very supportive about the husband taking off full time, earning no money, and being involved with children.”
He looked at the man and asked,
“Were you earning a decent living before?”
To which the man gave a quirkish smile and said:
“There were two things that were crucial. One was the support of my wife. And the other one was the support of the men’s group.”
At that point, Warren said,
“Now I’m just forgetting about Gloria. I’m sitting down with him, and for the next hour he tells me about how meaningful his life has become since he’s been raising his son. And how enormous value that’s been. And has been the best decision he’s ever made in his life.”
The man told Warren that
“his soul opened up, and his heart opened up,”
and that he’d had a lot of issues with his own father —
“and those seemed to be healing in a way that he had never healed before.”
Warren sat there, no longer a speaker, no longer a feminist leader, no longer trying to meet anyone at the party. He was just a man being spoken to by another man, sharing something real — something rarely voiced in that era.
About an hour into the conversation, someone approached their table.
“Can I have your autograph?” the young man asked.
Warren looked up, mildly surprised.
“Yeah sure, just one second,” he replied, excusing himself to handle the request.
But he noticed something odd. The young man was looking at him awkwardly.
Warren paused and said,
“Okay… something’s happening here.”
The man shifted uncomfortably and said:
“Well actually, I do really want your autograph… but I really was actually asking for the other guy’s autograph.”
Warren turned to the man he’d been speaking to, now feeling a rising curiosity.
“Well… what’s your name? You must be fairly well known.”
The man replied:
“I’m John.”
Warren:
“I’m Warren, you know that. Well John who?”
He said,
“John Lennon.”
Let that sink in.
Warren had just spent an hour ignoring Gloria Steinem to have a heart-to-heart with the most famous musician on the planet… and didn’t even realize it. Warren admitted he hadn’t owned a TV in over 20 years and wasn’t up to date with popular culture.
But here’s the part that gets me — the part that hits me like Hayden’s birthday and Eve’s graduation rolled into one:
Even at the height of his fame, the thing John Lennon wanted to talk about wasn’t music or money or global peace. It was fatherhood.
The greatest decision of his life, he said, was stepping away from it all to raise his son.
Now, consider this.
John Lennon’s first son, Julian, was born in 1963 — at the height of Beatlemania. John was 23 and largely absent due to the storm of fame.
But his second son, Sean, was born in 1975.
John left the music industry entirely for five years — from 1975 until his assassination on December 8, 1980 — to raise Sean full-time. He called himself a “house husband.” He baked bread. He changed diapers. He walked his son to school.
He gave those five years everything.
And then, just as suddenly as he appeared to Warren, he was gone.
Five short years of presence.
But five years that John Lennon himself called the most meaningful of his life.
My personal reflection
As I reflect on this story… as I look at my son on the edge of adulthood and my daughter stepping into her next chapter, I find myself asking:
Am I giving them my presence, not just my protection?
Am I showing up for their souls, not just their schedules?
Am I willing to pause the world… to be with them, fully?
Because in the end, legacy isn’t what you leave behind.
It’s what you leave within the people who loved you most.
And maybe, just maybe, the quiet choice to be a better father is the loudest message we’ll ever send the world.
So here’s the point
If you’re a parent, stop reading this for a second.
Go hug your kid. Even if they’re annoyed. Even if they roll their eyes.
One day, that moment might be the memory that holds them together.
Because in the end, the biggest legacy we leave isn’t the company we built, the followers we gained, or the awards we won…
It’s the invisible, soul-sized mark we leave on our children’s hearts.
John Lennon knew it.
Warren Farrell witnessed it.
And now, I’m walking that path too.
Are you?
PS – Read the lyrics for the song John Lennon wrote to his son Julian in 1980 shortly before he died. (Poetically, the song ends with a quote from Émile Coué and José Silva.)
Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans
…Beautiful boy
…Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way, it’s getting better and better.
Share your reflections
I’d love to hear how this story and these insights resonate with you. Leave me a comment below — I read every single one.
To your extraordinary life,
— Vishen
—
Featured image credits: John Lennon, Yoko Ono and Sean Lennon at the Dakota building, NYC. December 12, 1975. Image #: C-06 © Bob Gruen
238 Responses
Thank you Vishen for this wonderful remainder. Life happens so fast and on the blink of the eye, the little kid turn into a grown-up. What a great story. Creating the space and the connection with my son (now he´s 11 y/o) is a “non-negociable” in my daily busy life. As he grows, as well we grow together, transforming the way we communicate, always connected from the heart and the soul.
Thank you again for this!
Dear Vishen, WOA! Thank you for putting your heart and words into this beatifull message. It just got me in the right moment! I am so blessed to have the opportunity to currently spend to weeks with my baby boy at Mallorca. He is going to school after summer and i wanted to enjoy time with him. Well especially today i felt that greatfull parenting feeling because our time together here is going to end soon and often the daily chaotig sheduled hustle are taking those besutifull moments. But Not Today 🫶👌☺️! I so often feel stressed and overwelmend with them but now after i had the time to breathe again, to fully be present with him, after regarging my energy i am just able to feel the blessing of beeing his mum ♥️. So thank you for even deepening that feeling with your story 🙏🏼
PS: Finally this summer i have the chance to bring my oldest one (the other VIP 😄) to MVU. I am waiting for this oppurtunity since 2 years and now i am able to bring this to life 🙌🥳
Blessings
Biggi
Beloved Vishen,
Leave behind vs leave within… All the same! As legacy is what you decide to imprint in THE moment in time. If you deconstruct the concept of separation, and as we all evolve towards the remembrance of oneness, simply open your heart and love more, wider, bigger, bolder… and as you share this authentic self, in true presence, the resonance of love will meet the ones in tuned and leave a seed for the ones on the path. Legacy is then built. Beyond borders. Beyond concepts. Beyond imagination. In the spirit of oneness.
This is what I needed to read today. It’s a value, spending time with the kids and such a nice feeling to read that the founder of one of my favorite personal development platforms thinks the same.
Hi Vishen,
I believe this message reached me exactly when it was meant to. It touched something sacred inside me.
Like you, I’ve walked through fire. My journey has been mystical, painful, and profoundly transformative. I am the first in my lineage to break generational patterns of abandonment, silence, and loss. For years, I lived disconnected—from my truth, from my power, and painfully, from my first child.
I now hold that truth with deep accountability and compassion. I forgive the version of me who didn’t know better… and I honour the woman I’ve become: a single mother, therapist, and guide raising my second son in a new country with love, presence, and freedom.
We homeschool. We travel with our four little dogs. I’ve built a global therapeutic practice rooted in deep healing and soul liberation. And still—something in me knows I’m here to do more.
I’ve heard the call of the Phoenix within.
I didn’t choose the fire.
I chose to rise.
And now, I’m stepping onto the path of transformational speaking—to reach the souls I could never touch through therapy alone. I just released my first reel:
“The Rise of A Phoenix. I Didn’t Choose the Fire, I Chose to Rise.”
Your message today reminded me that I’m not alone in this rebirth.
And I had to write to you—not to ask, but to declare:
I am ready to serve.
With my voice.
With my story.
With my whole being.
Thank you for being one of the mirrors that reflected my soul back to me today.
With fire, faith, and purpose,
Hendrina Sterling Rodríguez
🔹 Transformational Guide | Phoenix Speaker | Clinical Therapist
🔹 @mindempowertherapy | #ThePhoenixSeries
I loved reading your insight into the most intimate part of a human soul. You know, this is my second year as a subscriber to the Mindvalley, but I haven’t been there more than a couple of times this year because right now I’ve got the urge to dive into the deepest part of my soul. My son is a grown up man now with his own child, his own life, but the years I dedicated into loving him unconditionally, sharing life’s ups and downs without judgement, bonded us together on such level that no matter the distance, we’re on the same wave length ✨️
I’ve realized that I’ve now got all the time to dedicate my existence into whatever I want, and that is to discover myself anew from head to toe. What could be more exciting?! We all evolve, not only children. When the time comes that your children are fully on their own, you’ll discover other dimension to your existence that never existed before.. 😇
True story
Hello everyone, here are my thoughts on the story: My dad died when I was 19 years old. He didn’t have a big carreer (baker in the local supermarket), and I never cared about it. As a grown up woman of 40 years old, what I miss is his humor, his creativity, that he let me mess up with his hair as I was a kid pretending to be a hairdresser, and just being next to him on the couch, watching tv, warming up my feet under his lap. I miss his presence.
As a daughter, I d say to the fathers, just be you and be there. take care
Beautifully expressed with love at your core Vishen. We now have 8 little Australians in our 3rd generation and the love we feel for them is just beyond words- its real magic! Our 4 adult children (living assets – the ‘licorice allsorts’) as I like to call them, Gerard, Cara, Dominic and Aaron take the time to tell us how much they love us. Its kind of special as I was a mum on a learners and provisional license when they were growing up. I appreciate the story you shared about John Lennon and Warren Farrell – basically ordinary guys doing extraordinary things in life and work, sometime not so perfectly, like us all!.
Vishen, I have a podcast called Thriving Matters – would you be a guest on it? I would so love to meet you and have a natter. I’m in Sydney Australia so when you are here you have a host!! carrie@carriebenedet.com hug hugs to you and deep admiration and thanks for the work you champion for humanity. Go gently when you can, Carrie
Loved reading the story , it made me think, reflect & smile , + I used to listen to his songs . Isn’t it we are so caught up in life & completely forget the real things that actually matter ?
Thank you for sharing !
Did this resonate? Not so much, as parenthood has never held any attraction for me. But another of John’s lessons does, very deeply. ‘Imagine there’s no country… no religion… nothing to kill or die for. Just a brotherhood of man’. That song was written so many years ago yet its profundity, it’s relevance, is deeper than ever.
In addition to my comment above. I find that my not having a job is really frowned upon. People think (sometimes say) that I am not living to my full potential, that I’m not contributing to society (as if raising children isn’t a huge contribution!) and that I’m not following my own true path. Sometimes it hurts all the more, because it’s a little bit true I suppose. The problem is, in my opinion, that children were never meant to be raised by a single person. Or even two persons. They were meant to have lots of people (their tribe) around them all the time, of different ages (it takes a village to raise a child). Some people call it ‘allo-parenting’. The nuclear family has changed all that. Making childrearing very child-centered as well, and making for very isolated lives for both parent and child. How can we find a way of living that resembles tribal living more?
Thank you Vishen! I love John Lennon. The most heartbreaking thing is, that it’s because of his dedication to his son, to fatherhood, that he was killed that night. He and Yoko were at the recording studio working and when they had finished for the night, Yoko suggested they go out for dinner, but John insisted they go back home to be with Sean, that’s when Mark Chapman stopped him before he could go up to his apartment.
I love being a mom to my 3 kids, 11,9 and 3. I’m a stay at home homeschooling mom! My biggest problem is my anxiety and mental health, I try hard to cherish these days but my anxiety of them getting older and not needing me is SO SO hard for me to think about. 😪 I seriously pray for time to slow down. It keeps me up at night. How can I ease my mind on this matter??
What an incredible story, Vishen. I can completely relate. I went through a very contentious and unexpected divorce when my son was only six years old, and I was granted full custody of him. During the separation, he had a very difficult time adjusting to the temporary custody arrangement imposed by the court and suffered severely from anxiety and depression.
At that time, I made the decision to step down from my company and fully dedicate myself to being a stay-at-home dad and homeschooling him. I did this for five years. What once seemed like a setback ultimately prepared me for my greatest comeback.
After those five years, I launched and built a successful company in the oil and gas industry. By then, my son was older and able to travel with me around the world. While other children were sitting in classrooms, my son was often sitting beside me in boardrooms.
Hi Vishen, such true words. My hubby and I are in our first year as empty nesters (both kids away at university) and now I just lost my beloved companion cat of 16 years so the empty is real and hard. Love and care for your dear ones when they are around, it is a message we need to have as our main daily objective. You will never regret the nights you didn’t work late and your children will love you for the way you showed up in their lives instead. Be blessed always 🙏
Wow, Vishen! You actually made me LITERARY STOP!!!
I started reading and paused, thinking I’d finish my brunch first….but then the zest to know the whole story kicked in.
And my God, by the culmination of your story, I found myself CRYING like a kid….
It DID resonate with me deeply, as I left my successful CORPORATE JOB, to spend more time with my Son and a GRAND-CHILD, ar a time. Now we have two…:) Thanks, God!
And I relate to every bit of emotion that John Lenon shared. And I DO relate to your warm words with which you describe how Eve’s hand slipped into yours when you were crossing the street….I did actually felt that moment, as I used to do the same with my Dad…
Oh, boy, am writing this and my eye getting wet again…
Who would have thought that me, the person who used to be called at times, “the iron lady” would turn being so warm and reflective.
Our children teach us not less than we do them.
But grandchildren – it’s the WHOLE new WORLD!
And I am happy and blessed that I can now spend my time consciously with my grand children (which I could not do for my son to the extent I wanted, as was a young mom at the university, and thereafter focused on my career growth…)
Wishing you the abundance of Energy, Love and Joy raising your kids!
Am happy for them, as it is LOVE and ATTENTION that everyone earns to have and which you abundantly give to your kids!!!
But the message i want you to stay with is that it is awesome to be a Dad! But trust me, you would feel heavenly happy, joyful, and inexplicably uplifted when you get to see and raise your grandchildren!
Please keep spreading love, light and wisdom to this World!
I’ve been with Mindvalley for 5 consecutive years now, and have just extended my membership couple days ago, because I truly value what Mindvalley DOES and GIVES!!!
Kindest regards,
Dillyara Dosmakova
dillyarad@gmail.com
Vishen, your words in this newsletter touched a sacred place in me. When you asked Am I giving them my presence, not just my protection?
I felt that deeply. My Dad, my best friend, passed away some time ago… and yet I love him unconditionally, still. The legacy he left isn’t something behind,it’s something within me. His warmth, his presence, his unwavering love continue to guide me every day.
Your message reminded me so much of what John Lennon stood for,that parenting, peace, and love are far more than duties… they’re soul transmissions. As Lennon said, ‘Love is the answer.’ And today, you echoed that truth with your own voice and heart. Thank you for being a lighthouse in this world, for your presence as a father, and for continuing this teaching in your own way. Legacy, after all, is not just what we build but how deeply we love.
Vishen – thanks a lot for this email letters. The have a profound and important impact on my life. As a mindvalley and evercoach member we receive quite a lot of marketing information – but this, this is the real deal!
How is it that someone can write something that vibrates to the core of the reason why life is be the most beautiful gift – if only we Breath that in every moment we are Here.
Thank you for the most beautiful writing – wishing you deep blessings as a father – a man and a leader.
Dear Vishen,
After reading the story of John Lennon and the way you reflected on fatherhood,
I couldn’t help but turn inward and think about my own journey as a mother—especially with my son.
I once believed that working hard and being successful would make my son proud.
But in the end, those very efforts became the things that pulled us apart.
Today, I’ve come to understand something much deeper:
Love isn’t always about what we do for our children—
it’s about how fully we are present with them.
I regret letting the distance grow between us.
But I haven’t given up.
Even though he’s now living his own independent life,
I still hold on to the hope that one day, he’ll remember the moments we shared
—and feel the love that never left him.
I am still walking the path I’ve chosen,
with all the effort and sincerity that comes from my heart.
Not for recognition.
Not for applause.
But to leave behind a quiet legacy—
a legend written into my son’s heart,
even if I’m no longer here to tell it myself.
With warmth and gratitude,
Nuchanat
🤍✨💛
Let ur hope nt diminish with passing time and keep on doing what u have decided to.
Exactly what I needed to read RIGHT now! Thank you Vishen – hopefully I’ll stop sobbing soon….