Intimacy is something we all need to live a fulfilling life; however, many people struggle to access intimacy in their relationships.
The thing is, our society is ever-evolving. “We are so concerned with our careers that we forget that love is a very important dimension in our life,” explains Ajit Nawalkha, the co-founder of Mindvalley Coach. “We don’t really focus our time, effort, and understanding towards it.”
An intimacy coach can help, though, to understand the root of their relationship issues. It’s a unique coaching niche you can be a part of, one that’s gaining momentum as more and more couples and individuals commit to improving their relationships with their loved ones and themselves.
What is an intimacy coach?
As an intimacy coach, you go beyond traditional relationship coaching. You empower your clients to take control of their intimate lives, build healthier relationships, and experience greater personal and sexual fulfillment.
You’d focus specifically on areas like emotional connection, physical intimacy, self-awareness, and relationship dynamics. Additionally, you’d help your clients address issues like sexual dysfunction, communication breakdowns, infidelity, or past trauma.
More often than not, couples opt to hire intimacy coaches to help them build trust and awaken passion. But individuals can also turn to you for help in reconnecting with themselves, as well as families, to find ways to deepen their bonds.
What does an intimacy coach do?
An intimacy coach helps restore harmony on both the physical and emotional levels. As one, you’d help clients overcome intimacy issues, manage conflict, and develop better communication skills. You can also offer guidance for couples to comfortably express their fantasies and set proper boundaries with each other.
How does this look? Here are a few techniques and approaches that you can use:
- Open and honest communication. You create a safe space for your clients to express their concerns and desires.
- Education and resources. You provide information and strategies for improving communication, sexual experiences, and emotional intimacy.
- Personalized guidance. You tailor support to each client’s unique needs and goals.
- Mindfulness and bodywork practices. You help your clients connect with their emotions and physical sensations.
- Role-playing and exercises. You create scenarios to practice new skills and communication styles.
The bottom line is, your goal is to empower your clients to take control of their intimate lives. And as a result, they build healthier relationships and experience greater personal and sexual fulfillment.
What skills does an intimacy coach need?
A lot of your work will revolve around conflict resolution and helping people improve their interpersonal communication. Here are five main coaching skills that will help you do that:
1. Active listening
Active listening is about paying attention to both what your client is saying and what they aren’t saying. You need to observe their body language, hold space for them to express themselves fully, and encourage them with follow-up questions.
Common active listening techniques include mirroring your client’s thoughts or paraphrasing what they have just said. These tools help your clients observe their thought processes from an outside perspective.
2. Active questioning
Listening is important, but questioning can take the client’s conversation even deeper. Using the right coaching questions at the right time can open up new insights for your clients and encourage self-reflection.
Powerful questions can make clients look at their relationship problems from a new angle. They can also help them discover deep-seated beliefs that might be standing in the way of positive change.
3. Building trust
Building rapport with clients is key in any coaching relationship, but especially with intimacy coaching clients. The issues they approach you with are delicate, so to open up in front of you, they need to trust you 100%.
You can create a safe space in your coaching sessions by offering a non-judgmental space and making them feel accepted.
4. Having a game plan
Intimacy coaching focuses a lot on the emotional aspect of the client’s life, which makes the coaching process more fluid. However, that doesn’t mean that the coaching work is aimless.
Set clear intentions with your clients on what goals and intentions they would like to pursue in their work with you. Define what skills they need to cultivate in themselves to make progress toward their ideal relationship. Then, acknowledge their progress and celebrate their milestones as they move along their coaching journey.
5. Giving actionable feedback
A professional intimacy coach must provide constructive feedback that helps the client grow. This feedback should be unbiased and always based on your client’s objectives.
You can make your feedback actionable by assigning certain tasks as homework to your clients, from journaling prompts to simply paying more attention to a particular aspect of their relationship in the coming week.
What makes an intimacy coach different from a sex coach?
Cultivating intimacy plays a vital role in helping people develop a healthy sexual life. However, intimacy and sex aren’t the same thing. Hence, the role of a sex coach also differs from that of an intimacy coach.
Here’s a closer look at the two:
| Intimacy Coach | Sex Coach (or Sexual Intimacy Coach) | |
| Focus | Emotional connection, closeness, and trust | Physical aspects of sex, sexual health, and performance |
| Approach | Works on building deep emotional bonds | Concentrates on improving sexual skills and knowledge |
| Goals | Enhancing emotional intimacy in relationships | Enhancing sexual satisfaction and resolving sexual issues |
| Techniques | Communication exercises, trust-building activities | Sexual education, techniques, and practices |
| Who They Help | Individuals or couples seeking a deeper connection | Individuals or couples looking to improve their sex life |
| Outcome | Strengthened emotional bond and understanding | Improved sexual confidence and experiences |
How to become an intimacy coach
Intimacy coaches need adequate qualifications to be able to build a successful practice in this field. There are relationship coach and intimacy coach certification programs, as well as more comprehensive coach training alternatives that teach you the key methodology required for this career.
Besides training, there are a few attributes that great intimacy coaches share. They should:
- Be able to put clients at ease
- Have a reassuring presence that helps clients feel safe enough to talk about their deepest secrets
- Be able to communicate about delicate issues in a humane manner while maintaining professionalism
- Have clear boundaries with clients
How much do sex and intimacy coaches earn?
A sex and intimacy coach’s salary greatly depends on the type of clientele you’re working with. Professionals in this niche typically charge $125 to $300 for a 60-minute session and offer monthly coaching packages, workshops, and retreats to supplement their income.
This is pretty average compared to other coaching niches, so if you feel that intimacy coaching is your calling, you can build a career around it that’s both fulfilling and lucrative.
What is the typical clientele of intimacy coaches?
Your clientele as an intimacy coach varies depending on your specific niche and expertise. However, here are some common types of individuals and couples who seek intimacy coaching:
1. Singles
Loneliness is the biggest epidemic affecting the modern population. Though not all singles desire to be in a committed relationship, intimacy is a core human need that we can all cultivate in different ways in our lives.
There are seven different kinds of singles you may come across:
- Temporarily single. Someone who is actively seeking a partner and is in between relationships.
- Recently divorced or widowed. Someone recovering from loss and not ready for a relationship.
- Frustrated single. Someone who wants a partner but is not able to find one and gives up.
- Passive single. Someone who wants a relationship but is not actively seeking a partner.
- Single, but not available. Someone who has a self-perception of being single and desires a lasting relationship but is engaging in short-lived relationships to get needs met.
- Busy or distracted single. Someone who is absorbed in being a single parent, career, or school and doesn’t have the time nor the desire for a partner.
- Single by choice. Someone who has no desire for a partner.
Some of these people are not seeking help with intimacy at all, or they only want to work on their relationship with themselves and their platonic relationships.
Others are open to finding romantic love, but they haven’t managed to until now. They might need your help to get ready for an intimate relationship or develop new strategies in their dating life.
2. Couples
Romantic relationships go through various stages. Each of them presents their own unique challenges to a couple.
As with singles, not all couples are alike. There are four types of couples you may come across as an intimacy coach:
- Individuals in the dating phase. This usually means two people who are exploring a relationship with each other but haven’t committed to it yet. They may want to work with you to work through commitment and intimacy issues that are standing in the way.
- New couples. These are couples who have decided to be in a romantic relationship together. If they’re monogamous, they stop dating other people and become exclusive. They may need your help to establish a stronger foundation for their relationship and test their long-term compatibility.
- Couples in long-term relationships. Some committed couples may need your help to navigate changes in the relationship, such as moving in together or having kids together. Others might want to work on their sexual intimacy or rediscover attraction for each other.
- Couples considering alternative relationship models. This may be transitioning into an open marriage or changing housing arrangements.
Spark the flame, inspire change
Intimacy coaching isn’t just a career; it’s a calling. It’s a chance to ignite sparks, transform connections, and witness the raw beauty of human vulnerability blossoming into thriving relationships.
If you crave that kind of impact, join us in the free Become a Mindvalley Certified Life Coach masterclass and discover how to turn your passion into a purpose-driven path.
