Amongst a world in transition, many of us are not yet certain where to show love and where to set boundaries – or even where to begin.
The ever-rising number of people that are presently suffering from depression, anxiety, and other psychological disorders is a sure sign that many are not yet certain about their role in life or where they are headed.
What the majority is aware of, is that a lot is uncertain.
Within the spiritual community, we agree, that to love and to show love is the ultimate discipline to master in order to accomplish a transition for the better. But still, we have more disciples entering spiritual adolescence than full-grown spiritual Masters.
So all the while we are aware that love should be the overruling power, it is also a truth that we are still struggling with the basics.
We might not want to admit it – especially not while already exploring conscious awareness – but the more we learn that there is to know, the more we want to know, and the more we are competing.
And the more we might believe to know, the more we might be driven to imagine ourselves as superior.
Too long have we been taught that competition – the survival of the fittest – is our nature.
To adjust this belief is a long run.
In Competition We Perceive Winners And Losers
In competition, we perceive winners and losers.
Strong and weak.
Oppressors and victims.
Or within the spiritual community: Those who are still seeking and those who believe to have found.
That’s why some of us who have partially gained conscious awareness and are eager to show love, regularly happen to attract fellow Seekers who seem to perceive themselves as already “accomplished“.
Those who ask questions without recognition of the answer, and rather reply with corrections and judgment – easily offended when observations do not meet their perception.
There are those who think they know, but really they don’t. They are dangerous. Avoid them.
— Neale Donald Walsch
This is because those are approaching — subconsciously aware of what you might have to offer — while consciously their Ego prevents them from receiving.
When confronted with reality this might then trigger unintended defense reflexes within them — emotional outbursts so to speak, which might not always be peaceful — thus the danger.
To Discount Competition We Need To Allow Ourselves To Be Vulnerable
To discount competition, we need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and in order to do this, we have to show love to ourselves first.
In order to become loving, we need to become compassionate.
To become compassionate we need to be empathetic.
To be empathetic we need to be vulnerable.
And to be vulnerable we should overcome thinking of it as a weakness.
Rather, we should make it our most valuable asset. Because the display of sensitivity most often allows us to quickly identify the intentions of our acquaintances.
When demonstrating vulnerability we may instantly gain insight. Is our new friend driven to take a step closer or to step back in rejection? And to see if they perceive weakness as a flaw or if they are ready to jump to our rescue when we are falling.
We should not be afraid to display our weaknesses out of fear of being harmed. If we are vulnerable from the very beginning, a little sting of rejection will hurt less than a big disappointment after time, don’t you think?
Knowing Who We Are Is The Beginning
To become knowing of who we are is the beginning of all awakening.
We need to explore the self first and to accept it in its entirety in order to be able to make vulnerability a strength.
I know that at first, this seems a bit frightening because it lies within our nature to aim for connection and acceptance – because just like most people I used to hide a great deal of my experiences to avoid judgment.
But hiding had never allowed me to be fully seen, which is why I could never feel really connected. I’d even say I was feeling strongly alienated because no one seemed to care enough, to even notice my acting.
I was running from my past, my trauma.
Until pretending that the many horrible things had never happened took it’s poll and caused me severe mental and emotional distress.
I was suffering from anxiety and depression.
And those could not resolve until I learned to embrace myself fully.
For that, Marisa Peer is one of my personal Heroines, because she keeps reminding us of The Biggest Disease Affecting humanity, which is thinking “I’m not good enough”.
I found self-worth to be compassion in its purest form and that once we become able to truly show love for ourselves, our hearts open their gates and finally allow us to truly receive love through the sight of another.
Before this, we keep rejecting whatever would allow us to be happy because of our belief that we might not deserve it.
This shift in self-perception is what I believe it means to become consciously aware.
Growing In Conscious Awareness Means Outgrowing Limiting Beliefs
Growing in conscious awareness means outgrowing limiting beliefs, fears & behaviors.
So, of course, it will not happen without recognition, nor without consequences.
It lies within the nature of the matter, that you will at some point face even more rejection than you have been used to. There are those who are not growing along with you. Others still who will approach you while they are still seeking.
This can be hard at first, as we are creatures of habit and because we have believed in codependence for the majority of our time – upholding even the most toxic and limiting connections.
And of course, as you are outgrowing some old connections, you are aching for new ones.
You might possibly be feeling great over your sudden realizations and improvements and are allowed to be happy when facing recognition.
Still, in the early stages of gaining conscious awareness, it could be devastating when meeting fellow seekers, just to again face judgment, competition & rejection.
Which could then lead you to wonder if again “you might have gotten it wrong”, or that you even may still not be on “the right path”.
This happened to me once after I had shared the details of my personal transformation on my Blog.
I was asked to check back with my ego and to consider being a bit more humble.
Which resultantly made me feel insecure about my self-perception and motives, doubting that I had been mindful.
If something similar might have also happened to you, I have come up with a simple tool which might help to identify the situation and to support you as a reminder of where you currently are.
Does your reality/personal experience support your perception?
Ask yourself, “Does your reality/personal experience support your perception?”
And if so, does the same thing count for the person causing your uncertainties or questioning your intention?
How are your relationships with your partner, your children, and your family?
How are your abilities when it comes to making decisions, setting goals and achieving them?
Is your career doing fine? And your finances?
Are you satisfied with your current self and happy?
If you’re feeling accomplished and satisfied in all those areas, you are exactly where you should be. You might want to consider making a stand and avoiding the negative influencer without guilt or doubt.
Because remember, that the realization of the greatest vision you ever held about yourself requires conscious decisions about who you welcome and allow within your personal space of expression.
At least I found, when I asked myself these questions, that my intentions had been pure. It is my wish to serve others as an example when it comes to the possibility of overcoming our fears.
And that to humble myself would mean to make myself smaller again.
That it was, in fact, the other person who had still been unaccomplished in some areas. That they were simply projecting their struggle while resisting self-exploration.
I believe this is a nice example of where we should draw our borders when it comes to exchanging with fellow seekers and how to maintain our boundaries – to show love but remain stable during our transformation.
Remember, you are enough and you will attract your tribe over time.
You just have to remain consistent with your own life’s choices.
Have you ever struggled with maintaining your boundaries? Please share with us in the comments below!