Mind

Why You Shouldn’t Take Anything Personally

What could your life become if you could stop judging yourself?

Sometimes its too easy, you make a mistake, or someone says something that triggers you. And suddenly, you snap. And that thought pops into your head. Some doubt, or fear, returning from the past to drag you down again. This automatic reaction then robs you of your balance of mind, and you lose your center. And at that moment, you have lost your power.

In this conversation with Vishen Lakhiani, Don Jose Ruiz shares why we take things personally — and how we can stop. Here, he describes how he learned to overcome his automatic reactions. Instead, in each moment he’s choosing to take control of his negative thoughts, so they stop controlling him.

Don Jose Ruiz is a world-renowned spiritual teacher, who’s coauthored the book, The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery. And he too had suffered from self doubt and negative self-judgment, until he had a revelation that changed his life for the better.

“Don’t Bite The Apple”


“Be skeptical of your own negativity”, he says. And when negative thoughts like this arise, he suggests “don’t bite the apple”. Because in truth, no one else can define who you are or what you believe. And not every negative thought in your mind is true. He explains that society teaches us to take things personally, based on the false assumption that other person’s opinions of us put us in danger.

Certain thought patterns can even be addictive. At times, they serve our need at the moment but don’t serve us in the long term. Many of us are drawn to personality improvement, believing there may be something ‘wrong’ or something to be fixed.

But often, we can forget those little things. Those little automatic thoughts which pop into your head can have huge power over you, and if you’re not careful, they can control you.

But we can reclaim our power. We have the ability each moment to choose. Each moment, you can choose to make yourself a victim of circumstance, or you can flow and let go.

Knowing in each moment that you are okay as you are. That there is nothing “wrong”. Your capacity to love and appreciate things never leaves you. Thus, we can choose to use each moment for healing, rather than replaying stressful thoughts from our past.

By being skeptical of our negative thoughts, we can become stronger people. In turn, removing unnecessary stress from our lives, and growing our capacity to love, once again.

Watch the video to discover:

  • (0:49) — How to become stronger and overcome the temptation to take things personally.
  • (1:47) — Practical advice that can help you rise above any instinctual defensiveness.
  • (2:49) — A lesson from Jose’s father that explains how to be at peace throughout your day.

Check out the video to hear Jose’s personal experiences and advice on consciously dealing with criticism.


What did you think about Don Jose Ruiz’ lessons?

And how do you make sure not to take anything personally?

Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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