It is perhaps the single most detrimental concept that our human consciousness has ever created.
Control.
All of us, at some point or another, have fallen victim to the idea that we have some kind of control over absolutely everything in our lives. Always thinking that if we do this and that, then suddenly everything might go exactly as we have planned.
More often than not, failing at this endeavor.
Truth is, there is only one thing that we ever truly have any control over, and that is our own perspective.
Which is something very important to remember when setting personal goals.
Too often do we wind up losing ourselves in what we think is a positive pursuit of accomplishing our goals. Too often do we set our plans into stone, without realizing that our desired outcome is largely contingent on things we have absolutely no control over.
Only to wind up defeated, lost, and sad.
We thought we could control the variables, we thought we could control the outcome.
And yes, you guessed it, we thought wrong.
Now, there is a rather profound distinction that I must make here first, an understanding which we must come to agree upon.
I am about to encourage you to release the idea of control, so that I can then, in a rather apparent paradox, help you acknowledge the fact that you have complete control of your life.
I know right, when did establishing personal goals become so incredibly confusing?
Bear with me here.
Remember what I was saying about only being able to control your perspective?
Well, in an expansion of this concept, let me say this — No matter what you do with yourself, you will never find a complete control of all the external variables and forces in your reality, or of any of them for that matter. But, you will always have a complete and undeniable ability to control each and every aspect of your internal variables and forces, your mind.
Life is 10% what happens, and 90% how you react to it.
— Charles R. Swindoll
More often than not, you have little to no control over this 10%; accept this. Yet, simultaneously acknowledge that what you choose to do with the other 90% will inherently play an incredibly large influence on the future’s 10%.
And diving back into the paradox — try to likewise acknowledge that how you’ve chosen to manipulate your 90% up to this point, also inherently plays an incredibly large influence on the current moments 10%.
Perhaps a bit mind boggling, sure. Yet an incredibly straightforward and simple concept, if you choose to let it be.
In setting personal goals, focus only on the variables of your reality which you actually have control over. Let the rest of the universe do what it will, and release the act of trying to control any of its unfolding beyond your current self.
Just be.
This is going to allow you to really ask yourself, “What do I want in life?” and “how can I get there?” Such inquisition will resultantly produce some really good choices, as it would pertain to setting your own personal goals.
Good personal goals, what are good personal goals anyhow? A great question, and in the context of this generalization, the answer here is also rather simple.
Good personal goals are goals that focus on things which involve you personally, and nothing else.
That is, we do not want to be claiming a personal goal as something like, “I’m going to get married to the love of my life at age 30.”
What if the love of your life doesn’t want to get married at that time? What if you haven’t even met them yet? There are so many variables here beyond your ability to control.
With that, let us look at some examples of what a good personal goal might actually look like.
How about, “I’m going to invest in my health this year.”
Or, “I’m going to give ‘x-amount’ of my time to a charitable cause.”
You see, these are good personal goals. These goals focus on the self, and nothing else, resultantly leaving little room to try and insight control over the outside world.
To bring such a goal to fruition is to influence control over only that which lies within. Which is perhaps the most beautiful shift in a structured value system one could ever initiate.
We should all be pursuing personal goals such as these ones, as often as possible.
And remember here, just because you can’t control the outside world, doesn’t mean you can’t ask for some help.
Tell the universe about your plans, your friends and family, and even the strangers you encounter in your day to day life. Speak your personal goals into reality, choosing against all odds to live your life!
You can even keep a journal, and start a goal planner! Writing down your intentions and solidifying a plan of action.
When you do this, make sure to focus on the specifics. In writing goals you want to be very articulate with your intentions.
Determine the who, what, when, where, why and how. Develop and write personal goals that are meaningful to you, and again, prioritize a focus on that which you can control.
As you do all of this, you will begin to realize that you truly do have complete control over your life.
Just let go of your desires to control and change the outside world, and reflect this desire for control inward, instead. Thus, creating a new structure of values from which you can then ask yourself, “What can I do personally to change my reality for the better?”
So, bearing all of this in mind — are you in control of your future, of your own destiny?
Because if your answer here is anything other than a resounding yes, you may want to consider Mindvalley’s Becoming Limitless program. This program specializes in helping you to not only understand what parts of your reality you can and cannot control, but also in how to use this knowledge to then, take control.
Personal goals are all about bettering the self. Nothing and no one else has anything to do with such a process. Embrace the notion, establish an end goal, and pursue some personal development goals along the way.
Relish in the beauty of the power behind this sentiment, harness it, and go out and start conquering these goals of yours!
Can you think of a time when you set a goal for yourself that you ended up not accomplishing because of some other outside variable gone astray? How did this make you feel at the time? Share your stories with us in the comments below!
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