Mindvalley Blog

Esther Perel On Why We Fight With The People We Love The Most

Do opposites attract or do we seek someone similar? Why do we fight about the same things that once attracted us to our partner?

Esther Perel, bestselling author and relationship expert, answers these questions in this talk from Mindvalley’s A-fest.

About The Video

Marriage may be ancient but marrying for love is a relatively new phenomenon in human history — one that becomes increasingly complex with modern day demands.

No longer do we marry purely to secure societal alliances or economic stability, says one of the world’s leading voices on relationships, Esther Perel. Now, we expect our partner to fulfil the two contradicting needs we’re all born with: security and adventure, connection and autonomy, love and desire.

In this short clip from Mindvalley’s A-Fest, Esther Perel answers the question: What does intimacy in the new landscape of modern love look like?

Watch other game-changing talks from the best authors in personal growth by subscribing to Mindvalley’s A-fest Youtube channel.

What do you think about Esther Perel’s take on the paradox of desire in modern relationships? Share your thoughts with the Mindvalley tribe in the comments below.



Cheyenne Diaz is a Mindvalley Academy Writer, who always gets creative inspiration when she takes hikes through her favorite place in the world, Big Sur, California. As a multiethnic American, she grew up learning and loving other cultures. She’s a passionate supporter of appreciating the beauty of the world through travel, food and art.

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