How To Balance Desire And Stability In A Long-Term Relationship

by Cheyenne Diaz January 25, 2018

Many of us experience a dip in desire when we settle into a long-term relationship. And because of this, we might even think that time makes passion disappear.

Can We Want What We Already Have?

Here’s the good news: it is possible to bring back that honeymoon state to a long-term relationship.

In this 20-minute video from TED Talks, sexual genius and couples therapist, Esther Perel, points out that for the first time in history, we can root our relationships in desire. 

In the past, marriages have been about economic partnership. But nowadays, long-term relationships are about so much more…

We now want our partner to offer us both predictability and surprise, security and adventure, comfort and edge.

How do we reconcile those contradictory needs?

Watch the video above to find out how to revamp desire and maintain stability in your relationship at the same time.

Highlights from the video include:

  • (5:15) — The two revealing answers about desire that are the same across culture, religion, and gender;
  • (8:35) — How to use novelty in a way that helps your long-term relationship (hint: it’s not just about lingerie);
  • (14:20) — The 3 responses we have to an overburdened relationship;
  • (17:47) — What people in great romantic relationships know about passion and spontaneity.

Gain Instant Clarity On What You Really Want In Life – And Have It All

There’s a reason that so many brilliantly talented, naturally creative, intelligent and capable people never reach their potential, and it is, quite simply, a lack of direction.

Even if you have a vague goal in mind, you still need a plan, a process to get you there.

You can have the most expensive, fastest car in the world, but if you set off without a clear idea of where you’re going, then the rusty old Beatle with a map and compass will beat you there every time.

If You're Ready To Experience The Extraordinary Life Design System That Gives YOU The Power To Author Your Ultimate Life, Then Join Jon & Missy Butcher's Free Masterclass

Where You will Learn:

Are you stuck on the hamster wheel of life, instead of rushing towards your fullest potential? Discover how to escape the 3 soul-crushing reasons most people unknowingly cheat themselves of their greatest lives.

Do you always set goals and rarely achieve them? It’s not your fault – traditional goal-setting is seriously incomplete! Discover how Lifebook empowers you to rapidly and consistently take charge of your life, and realize your every dream.

Experience the ‘Instant Clarity’ exercise: a powerful visualization exercise that guides you through your ideal day – and gives you instant clarity on who you really are, and what kind of life you really want to be living.

Step Into The New Year With A Crystal-Clear Vision For Your Ultimate Life

How do you keep the desire in your relationship? Share in the comments below.

by Cheyenne Diaz
Cheyenne Diaz is a Mindvalley Writer, who always gets creative inspiration when she takes hikes through her favorite place in the world, Big Sur, California. As a multiethnic American, she grew up learning and loving other cultures. She’s a passionate supporter of appreciating the beauty of the world through travel, food and art.

Related Articles