You’ve brought a young male into this world, and now it’s your job to make sure he grows into an upstanding and prosperous member of society.
Quite the task you have ahead of you, isn’t it?
I mean, how can anyone actually expect you to raise a young man who is genuine, sweet, and affectionate, in a world that is so blatantly filled with some dominating sense of patriarchal anger?
Yes, knowing how to raise a boy right has certainly become something of a rather complex essence.
But worry not my friends, because as always, there is hope.
In each new day we find ourselves presented with an opportunity to begin anew. An opportunity to initiate some radical and ever lasting positive change.
And it is with this opportunity that we must choose to transcend the ways of the past, to push aside the teachings of our ancestors, and to create a new world.
One filled with men who are not only more open and vulnerable, but likewise more emotionally expressive (in a constructive and nonviolent fashion). Men who possess a true and real ability to listen, acknowledge, and reciprocate empathetically.
No, this is not the stuff of fairy tales here folks.
This is the byproduct of diligent, determined, and unwavering focus.
The end result of the most authentic of compassion, patience, understanding, and love.
We find ourselves here, amongst an era in time, where the collective of human consciousness is on an exponential rise. And as we begin to embrace this awakening, we simultaneously begin to realize that the way things once worked, perhaps the way they have always worked, no longer adequately serve us.
Times Are Changing
Times are changing, my friends.
The gender roles of the past are long overdue for abandonment. A notion which many might argue is already of common acceptance.
But let me ask you this — What about our young men, our boys?
Every[man] is so concerned with their bank account… most just give their entire life to their career… To the point that there’s almost nothing left for their love relationships, for their children, for their health and fitness.
— Jon Butcher
Because you see, where we teach our young girls to pursue a more balanced being, one where they can be both an emotional goddess and a hard working, self made, and proudly acclaimed professional.
We appear to be simultaneously teaching our young boys that being a hard working, self made, and proudly acclaimed professional is in and of itself enough. And further, that to pursue being an emotional goddess (or god) is actually something of a rather pathetic and ‘unmanly’ nature.
There is more to the life of any man than to just “bring home the bacon”. In fact, there is more to the life of any human being than to just be eternally focused on bank accounts and careers.
There is an undeniable truth at the core of this statement, and a truth which Jon and Missy Butcher have found themselves overtly aware of.
Such that the two have designed a rather groundbreaking 12 step focus, intended to bring individuals ever closer to an embracing of such a balanced lifestyle.
Lifebook, a 30 day quest which will guide you towards an existence of well understood, accepted, and fully embodied balance. Balance across all the arenas of life, from health and career, to love and spirituality.
Their mission — to help us reconnect with ourselves.
A connection we seem to have forgotten, and have resultantly neglected a teaching of to our youth, especially with our young boys.
The Pursuit Of Balance
You want to know how to raise a boy right?
This is it right here folks.
1. Show them how to love
Show them how to love.
Love everyone whom you are surrounded by in the exact fashion that you wish for them to learn how to love. And not just when they are watching, but always. Be the human being you wish to see them grow into.
2. Encourage their dreams
Encourage their dreams.
Whatever they may be, let them know that they can achieve it.
These concept of “I can’t”, these concepts of ‘should’ and ‘should not’, are not something which they yet to imagine. Such conceptualizations are in fact, only taught.
So as you teach them, instead, encourage them to embody their own truly limitless selves.
3. Teach them how to work
Teach them how to work as well, and again, show them.
As a matter of fact, demand it of them. Hands on, down and dirty, work.
The young man wants a cell phone, does he? Well, what has he done to have earned such a privilege?
Never undervalue this effort.
4. Embody character development
It’s not about whether or not they will ever need to know how to mow a lawn, or clean the kitchen, it’s about positive character development.
Know that they will assume the role of your character, subconsciously so. Hold strongly to your values, and showcase them in every opportunity. And be very cautious about the moral wrongdoing which you indulge.
Even if at first they know what you are presenting is wrong, they will eventually come to conclude that they must have been mistaken.
They will fully embody the character which you demonstrate.
5. Face your fears
And with that, you must face your own fears, my friends.
Perhaps the most important thing to understand when it comes to how to raise a boy right, is this — Your young boy does not yet understand the concept of fear.
They are not scared of their emotions.
They are not scared of expressing them.
And they certainly do not yet believe that to do so would make them weak. This, and all other forms of fear for that matter, are something which they are taught.
It’s Time We Redefine What It Means To ‘Be A Man’
The time for us to redefine what exactly it means to ‘be a man’, is now.
As we pursue this knowledge of how to raise a boy right we absolutely must come to accept this change.
Pride, bravery, and courage
It’s time we redress these concepts of pride, bravery, and courage.
For how truly sad it is that we hold our men to such prestigious heights of bravery, demanding it of them even.
As if to showcase that it is not okay for our young boys to be scared. Right, because no ‘real man’ can be both scared and brave.
We then teach them to take pride in such a demonstration of ‘strength’ and remind them that it takes great valor and courage to remain emotionally distant and closed off.
This is complete rubbish.
There is great bravery in sadness, and tremendous courage in allowing vulnerability.
Vulnerability and emotional depth
Embrace this, and teach your young boy to value his emotional depth.
And to further value his inherent ability to properly express himself in a conducive, constructive, and empathetic manner.
We want to know how to raise a boy right?
Well, why don’t we start raising young men who are courageous enough to swallow their pride?
Brave enough to be vulnerable?
What do you think it means to be brave in today’s world? What do you think it takes to be courageous? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!