I’ve always been a dreamer. To some, it was my best quality; to others, they would tell me to get my head out of the clouds.
The one thing I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, is that my BIG love was out there. I always knew my person was out there.
When I saw the one, you know the one that would steal your heart with a smile; I knew I had found my BIG love.
Love, unfortunately, does not come without the risk of heartbreak. Then, we are left with learning how to love after heartbreak.
And just as quickly as I had found my love, I lost it. One day, my love, my person, my BIG love said, “I want a divorce.”
I felt the kind of pain that crushed my soul, the kind of pain that made me want to run away and never return. I missed our home, I missed our family, I missed going grocery shopping together, I missed our laughs, I missed everything.
My heart needed to find a way to move past all of it; every memory, and every ounce of pain.
So, now what?
4 Profound Insights On How To Love Heartbreak
It wasn’t an easy or quick process, but for me, it was an absolute necessity. I couldn’t live with this heartbreak, I couldn’t carry its weight.
I had to learn how to love with an even bigger, more compassionate and open heart.
Here is how I learned how to love after heartbreak.
1. Finding strength within
I had a supervisor who once said, “you just have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and move on.”
Of course, this statement wasn’t about love, but it was about finding the strength within yourself that you had forgotten was even there.
So, each day I woke up and picked myself up by the bootstraps and kept on going.
2. Radical forgiveness
With each passing day, I asked myself, “What did I do wrong? Why did this happen? What could I have done differently?”
In truth, it wasn’t about me, I couldn’t change the situation. What I did know is that this experience would hold me hostage until I learned how to forgive myself and my now ex.
In my search to find out how to love after heartbreak, I learned to forgive. I discovered a term that I was unfamiliar with, a life-changing process of forgiveness; radical forgiveness.
This wasn’t a simple I’m sorry kind of forgiveness. This was a deep dive into my soul kind of forgiveness. It forced me to forgive and release all of the junk that was swimming in a cesspool of anger, hurt, and resentment.
In short, this process required a lot of self-work, and I mean heaps and bounds with a lot of tears shed.
3. Letting go
The heartbreak taught me to let go of the mirage that my life once was and how to create and find love in everything around me.
While practicing radical forgiveness, I knew that I had to let go of a lot of “stuff.”
4. Loving myself
I asked myself, “Who is this 40-something year-old woman? What is important in my life?”
Ultimately, I had to learn how to love myself. Although the steps I took to get here were important, there was nothing more important than loving myself.
I filled my life with spirituality, faith, family and friends.
And, through this process, I found my new BIG love…me.
How have you found love after heartbreak? Share with us in a comment below!