Building Lasting Confidence
Confidence is attractive.
It breeds opportunity and is powerful in the pursuit of expressing your self-worth. It inspires others to trust and believe in you, and exerting it right can be extremely self-fulfilling.
Having strong levels of confidence and self-esteem is crucial when having to decide the best action to take in any situation. Or to effectively deal with unexpected and undesirable turn of events, or to persuade and influence others. Or when communicating with others without personal ego distorting the interaction.
In the purest sense, your current self-confidence and self-esteem levels are determined by what you think (or know) you’re good at, the value you can provide, and then how effectively you convey that to others.
Confidence thus evolves and increases in areas where you think you’re best at, and you naturally avoid avenues in which you expect to fail.
*If you like this article, check out Marisa Peer’s Free Masterclass on self-confidence.
But what do you think could happen if you knew how to improve self-confidence in all areas of your life, especially the weak areas?
What if you knew exactly how to gain self-esteem and build confidence with the right training and assistance?
Before being able to do that however, you first need to examine what the root causes are of your own low self-esteem and confidence concerns.
According to transformational hypnotherapy therapist, behavioural expert and best-selling author, Marisa Peer, there are several root causes found in people who experience low levels of self-confidence and self-esteem.
10 Root Causes Of Low Self-Esteem
1. Disapproving Family Or Peers
You fear rejection and all your actions stem from the human need to be accepted and acknowledged. Because of this, negativity and constant criticism from others can damage your feelings of self-worth.
Been taunted and bullied as a child with an overwhelming sense of being lost caused you to feel abandoned and hopeless, filling you with self-loathing and leaving you unprepared for the cruel world.
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse possibly are the most apparent causes of low self-esteem and self-confidence issues. Past traumas can make it difficult to associate with others, like or trust them which profoundly impacts self-esteem and strong feelings of loneliness.
4. Religious Belief Systems
When you constantly dwell between bad and evil, you end up feeling confused, disoriented, shameful and disappointed with yourself when you think you did something wrong.
5. Body Image
You are consumed by unrealistic media images, concepts and opinions of what the ideal body composition type is, what you should look like, what you should weigh or how you should behave — all resulting in you feeling unattractive and inadequate.
6. Existential Crisis
You feel usurped in a world beyond your control, which leads to feelings of ineffectiveness, powerlessness and worthlessness, where the meaning of your life becomes questionable — and your inability to realize your life’s purpose or self-worth poses a significant challenge to your existence.
7. Unrealistic Or Unmet Goals
You expect way too much of yourself, and the inevitable failure to meet unrealistic goals you previously set may lead to feelings of inferiority and unworthiness.
8. Previous Bad Decisions
You got locked into a certain decision-making pattern without the power to change — and continue making bad choices that reinforce your own negative self-view, or keep circling in adverse circumstances.
9. Negative Thought Patterns
Your mind believes what you tell it, and you constantly feed it with negative thoughts about yourself, and never challenge these thoughts and feelings for what they’re worth. This creates an endless self-fulfilling prophecy of doom.
10. Academic And Educational Challenges
Inadequate education is a major cause of low self-esteem when you interact with others more knowledgeable than you. If you feel like you don’t understand things as quickly as others, you often have doubt in your own capacities, and become more self-conscious about sharing your opinions.
“When you know much about a lot, you won’t feel inferior,” says Marisa Peer.
“But more accurately, self-esteem comes from accepting your insufficiencies and still choosing to like yourself. And then do everything in your power to increase your self-confidence, and to become greater at handling your life well…”
Marisa Peer shares here eleven qualities you could adopt right now to increase your personal value and self-worth…
11 Qualities That Show True Self-Esteem
These qualities and characterisitcs show true self-esteem. Boost them for increased confidence, better performance, health and happiness:
1. Knowing That You Are Enough
“I am enough.” Say it again… “I am enough.”
2. Continuously Praising Yourself
People who are happy and successful rely on internal self-validation and self-appreciation. You know you can do it, and you know you’re good at it, you know you’re enough to make it happen. And you remind yourself of it often.
3. Have A Greater Self-Worth-To-Value Ratio
The more self-confidence you have, the more you value yourself and your capabilities, which means you know your core values, and thereby feel more valuable. You also enjoy growing as a person and continually find fulfillment and meaning in your life.
4. Freedom From Self-Doubt
The more self-confident you are, the less mental torture you experience doubting yourself, and questioning whether you’re really worthy, or capable of achieving things you want to achieve, because you know how to delve really deep and be creative to master anything.
5. Greater Strength & Capabilities
The more self-confident you are, the more powerful you feel to make the right decision and to face challenges, rather than feeling weakened, crippled and defeated when confronted.
6. Having Peace Of Mind With No Fear & Anxiety
The more self-confident you are, the more you know what you can accept, handle, learn, gain and benefit from any situation, circumstance, challenge, problem or outcome, while pushing yourself in a more positive and confident direction.
7. Having No Societal Apprehension
The more secure you feel in your self-worth, the less concerned you are with what others think of you. You see the world and other people in realistic terms, accepting it, and them the way they are.
8. Have More Energy & Motivation To Act
The more confident you are that you can achieve anything, the clearer you see the possible outcomes with better concentration abilities, thereby feeling more motivated and energized to act.
9. Experiencing Beneficial, Enjoyable Interactions
The happier and more confident you are, the more relaxed, comfortable and at ease you feel — naturally also putting others at ease to better trust, respect, value, welcome and cooperate with you.
Be confident means less anxiety and fear with less worries keeping you awake, or causing adverse biochemical reactions and toxins in your body.
11. Greater Career & Work Success
Self-confident people who embody all of the above qualities are naturally more successful in their relationships, in their health and fitness and overall well-being. Most importantly, they naturally perform better in any task with higher success rates.
Wonderful things happen when you increase your self-confidence and self-esteem:
- You are freed from the harsh judgment and criticisms of others;
- You can express your thoughts, feelings, values and opinions because your self-worth no longer comes from the acceptance of others but from a feeling of real contribution;
- You accept change effortlessly and feel more capable to weather any storm;
- You are likely to gain the trust of a potential client, partner or business deal, projecting strong self-confidence and self-esteem;
- You experience more happiness and enjoyment in all areas of your life.
2 Steps To Building Lasting Confidence In Under 5 Days
Building confidence needn’t take years, or even months. There are proven methods to cultivating lasting confidence in as little as 5 days. Here’s how:
Step 1: Accept that you are responsible for building your own self-confidence.
You can blame your parents for how they raised you. You can blame your teachers for how they treated you… you can blame failed relationships with previous partners hurting you, or failed business ventures with ignorant idiots attacking your true value…
But the only person really responsible for building your self-confidence in future is yourself.
Step 2: Responsibility is the first step, but not always enough. You need a map, an objective system, a trustworthy confidant to guide you through each major failure-point to guaranteed success.
And I can think of no person more qualified and experienced for the job than the person voted as Britain’s No. 1 therapist, Marisa Peer.