Even before I had children, I was always fascinated with how their personalities developed from babies to adults. Two of my younger sisters had children before me, so I had the pleasure and honor of being an aunt before I was a mother.
I experienced the mental and emotional transformations of two nephews and one niece before I had my own children, but nothing really prepares you for raising your own kids. Each child has their own personalities, temperaments, needs and love languages.
Unfortunately, having children doesn’t come with a manual of calming quotes for when they are emotional and don’t know how to communicate yet. If you’re like most people, you try to do the best you can do with what you saw growing up from your own parents.
You wing it, try to do better than they did, and inevitably question yourself along the way. You know your children’s future depends on it, and you want to be the best parent you can be.
But it’s not always easy. And just because we love our kids and want what’s best for them doesn’t mean that we always know the right thing to do or say to help them or make them feel better.
Calming Quotes Can Help
In this blog post, I’m going to share the five best calming quotes I use with my two boys, ages 9 and 4, multiple times a day, every day.
- I Understand How You Feel
- You Will Get Better At It If You Keep Practicing
- Everything Is Going To Be Okay
- Maybe It’s Not As Bad As It Seems Right Now
- I Believe In You
The best part is these two couldn’t possibly be more different, and I am not only referring to the obvious age gap.
One is emotional, while the other hides his feelings until he can’t take it anymore. One is super affectionate, and the other melts my heart when he randomly surprises me with a hug and a kiss.
Despite how different they are in age and personalities, these quotes always do the trick when it comes to changing their state and calming them down from a frustrating or negative situation.
1) I Understand How You Feel
Sometimes as parents we place expectations on our children that are unfair and unreasonable. We get upset when they throw a tantrum or have an emotional episode that we can’t understand.
Forgetting that children are just humans too and that they don’t develop impulse control and emotional intelligence until later in life.
We expect them to always react or respond ‘correctly’, but are we acknowledging their right to feel whatever it is that they are feeling?
Or are we shaming and punishing them for feeling anything at all?
Because really, what gives us the right as parents, or as anyone, to say how another person should feel?
Right, nothing does, because these tiny humans are doing the same thing we are as adults – trying to figure out this thing called life.
So instead of focusing on the fact that my kid is having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store or acting as an emotional monkey, I acknowledge how he feels.
Even if I want to cry and pull my hair out because of how outrageously irrational their heightened emotional state seems to me at the moment, I put all of that aside, and I treat him like a human.
I show them that I respect their right to feel something. And that it’s not only okay but safe to acknowledge and embrace what you feel.
It calms them down and allows me to open communication to figure out what’s really behind the behaviors.
I don’t know about you, but I think those are all emotional intelligence qualities and tools that would help any child later in life, as an adult.
2) You Will Get Better At It If You Keep Practicing
What child doesn’t get frustrated over homework, a challenging puzzle or game, or a stubborn Lego set?
I find myself using this one every day, too.
From the most simple task that frustrates them to something they are trying hard for and want really bad, this injects a growth mindset into the mix, and it works.
It is important to me for my kids to truly understand that anything is possible for them.
And starting now when they are young, I want to develop the automatic response that, “Yes, something may not come naturally to me at first or feel easy and effortless, but regardless of what it is, if I really want it, I can learn and master it. I can get better by practicing.”
Among calming quotes, this one I really love because I have used it in so many different scenarios, and it has had such a huge impact on my oldest who just a couple of years ago was struggling with reading and behavior problems.
I never want the standards my children have to be set by me but to be set by themselves instead.
I want them to understand that the sky is not the limit.
Reminding them when they really want something, but it seems too hard or too out of reach, that all they have to do is keep at it.
This is one of the greatest beliefs I could gift them with.
3) Everything Is Going To Be Okay
When their fragile little worlds seem to be falling apart for them, and there is nothing you can say or do, remind them that everything is going to be okay.
Because in reality, it truly is and always will be.
This is not only one of many great calming quotes and part cliche, but it’s also a powerful program in the subconscious mind that will remind them – when life gets hard and decisions are tough, no matter what there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
For a child, some events and situations seem hopeless simply because they don’t yet possess the ability to quickly change their perception.
I remember being a child and feeling like it was the end of the world when things didn’t go the way I wanted, or I thought my mom was going to kill me because I did something wrong.
This quote is used daily, multiple times a day even, in my own experiences.
I say it out loud when my children are around so they may model how I respond and react to tough situations. I want them to be programmed to stay calm in any situation, mentally, emotionally and physiologically.
Not only does this build a mind open to the infinite possibilities available to them, but it teaches them to surrender and trust that even if they don’t get things exactly how they wanted, everything is going to be okay.
4) Maybe It’s Not As Bad As It Seems Right Now
I use this calming quote daily as a sort of spin-off from number three. After I reassure them that no matter how bad it seems it’s going to be okay, I want them to learn to change their minds and thereby change their realities.
First, I want them to manage their state. Then I want them to realize on their own that it’s not as bad as it seems, by learning how to change their perspective – which is not something that comes naturally to children, especially the younger ones.
That’s why no matter how much people look at me like I am crazy when I am explaining things to my four-year-old, I still speak to him as if he was a young adult. Explaining to him a different perspective within the lines of his little growing mind.
I am committed to using this calming quote frequently because I want to train my children’s nervous systems to not only know everything is going to be okay, changing their state as fast as they’re ready to; but to almost immediately find a different perspective on the situation, as well.
This quote has been especially helpful with my 9-year-old. Over the past two years, I have seen him go from a frustrated child over almost any situation, to keeping more of an open mind and searching for ways to see things differently.
5) I Believe In You
When I was 15 years old, I auditioned and was offered a chance to be on a compilation CD. Unless you’re around my age, you probably don’t know what that is as I don’t think they exist in the music industry anymore, but at the time it was a really big deal for me.
The problem was that we had moved from Miami and were now living hundreds of miles away. My mom wasn’t going to take me to Miami to record the song and go to the studio every time I had to. And she wasn’t going to let me go alone, so she told me no.
In my 15-year-old mind, I took it as though she just didn’t believe in me. To be fair, I already had issues with confidence and self-esteem due to the absence of my biological father in my life, but maybe that’s why I took it so hard. I thought if anyone should believe in me, it should be her.
I let it go and never told her anything because I thought I had gotten over it, but it came up again many times later on in life.
Although my mom had no idea the impact it had on me when I got pregnant with my first child at 26, I knew I wanted to be careful with how I handled his goals, dreams, and aspirations.
Freedom to experiment
With the exception of doing something that I fear will harm them, I am pretty open about letting them experiment with life.
When my nine-year-old wanted to learn to cook eggs, I was afraid, but I taught him anyway.
When my four-year-old wants to put his own bagel in the toaster oven, I let him. Even though I know the toaster oven burned my back so bad I’ll have a scar forever.
I never want to let my fear get in the way of them experiencing life, and I will always do my best to show them that whatever it is they want to do, I believe they can accomplish it.
Not only does this calming quote help grow and open our communication, but it also teaches them to believe in themselves, which is ultimately my goal.
By supporting them in what they want to experience and learn, I am programming them to have increased self-esteem, confidence and beliefs that will support them through the rest of their lives.
What are some of your best calming quotes for children? Share them with us in the comments below!